After baby/work plans — The Bump
October 2021 Moms

After baby/work plans

I’m just curious if anyone else is undecided on their future/work life after babies arrival. I am currently an RN and have a pretty decent job with easy hours. A lot of work from home. However it requires me being on my computer waaaaay more than I’d like and it’s also stressful because things are always moving and shifting. When I leave work I can’t just “leave it at work”. It has me really considering other options after maternity leave. One being going a whole bee route and doing in home daycare with a small amount of other children as there is a lack in my town. Orrrr do I stick with nursing and find another job? However with nursing you’re usually working weekends and holidays. Which is why my current job is nice because I don’t currently have to do those shifts. Anyways, just wanted to see if others are in the same boat. Just want to maximize my time with my DD who is 5 and then our new little one come October. 

Re: After baby/work plans

  • @k_rn21 I can’t really speak from personal experience in regards to quitting a job in the midst of parenting because I’ve been a SAHM since we adopted DS1. But what I can say is that although some moments are REALLY hard and there are times I wish I could have a very part time job just to have a bit of time doing something different haha, I wouldn’t change being home with my kids if I could! They’re only little so long and I have heard that most people don’t regret the time home with their littles. The good outweighs the hard in my opinion. If you need the second income (I know I’m fortunate that we can live off of DHs although we do make sacrifices having one income) then I think the at home day care sounds like a great idea if you find the right ages/fits! Could give your older daughter some friends to play with as you’re caring for your new baby and you’d get lots of time with both your kids! But obviously this is just my input from my experience and I completely respect that some women choose to or need to work and that it’s best for them and their families! I do have a good friend who is an RN with 3 littles who was able to switch to a very part time job where she only has to pick up 32 hours a month of shifts and then won’t lose her license! Not sure if that’s an option at all for you. 
  • k_rn21k_rn21 member
    @momofmiracles31889  That’s awesome! Yes I give you all the props because I know being a SAHM has it’s challenges and I can imagine moments when you want to pull your hair out. But I am also envious of you as I would love to be home also but yeah I guess sometimes I worry if I’ll miss my little bit of “me” time during my working hours. Ahhhh. It’s so hard for me to decide and I’m afraid of making the wrong choice or regretting it. Unfortunately at this time my family really relies on a second income so I have to have some sort of income so just trying to weigh my options while I have the time to think about it. Stressful. 
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  • mia8263mia8263 member
    @k_rn21 I was so looking forward to returning to work in September but now I don’t see when I’ll be able to return. I have a 12yr old who struggles with anxiety, 3yr old with speech delay his school is only from 9-3:30, 20m old who only likes me and now this little babe come October. Daycare is so expensive in my area so I’ll be home probably until youngest is in kindergarten. It worries me because I really love my job but when I think about having to drive to different schools and daycares and if God forbid one of them or more gets sick and all the time I’d have to take off, it is the best option for our family. 
  • Starting to look at daycares tomorrow. I'll be out of work for 4 months but will have to go back full time. I work mostly from home except for 1 day a week I usually go to the office. Daycares are so expensive but we did the math and we'll lose more if one of us stays at home. Also considering live-out nannies but not sure if the pricing is comparable...
  • I will be returning to full time work. I love my job (most days), and I’ve worked extremely hard for my credentials. My work is important to me and I don’t want to quit. My MIL wants to be our full-time child care, which is amazing, but I feel like that’s a lot to ask of one person so I’m looking into part time daycare options to balance that out. There’s also the possibility that my H would get a part-time position and stay home with the baby some, that’s a thing we have to keep discussing and weighing in the budget balance. 
  • @madiirosee My mom volunteered to do full-time care. But that's just not practical for us or my parents in reality. Full time daycare is fortunately in our budget. If kiddo ends up doing some part time care with my mom as she has time and energy, then we'll just call it great for everyone.
  • Right now baby will go to the same daycare as DS. Within budget, but I wish it wasn't so pricey. I wish we had an in home daycare in our area that we could trust, but I haven't been able to find anything. So jealous of my BFF who found a perfect in-home daycare who co-workers use on her way to work, and of any of you have that option! My mom is still working and MIL isn't local.

    Though I wish parts of my work culture were different, we don't count company paid holidays for part of FMLA, so I get an extra five days of leave which will be nice.

    @madiirosee I think that would be such an ideal option for half and half! Getting bonding with grandparents but the socialization from daycare, and is more budget friendly. I understand why you would feel weird though. @noprobalo my grandmother (late 80's) offered that with DS and her and my mom were insistent. We didn't go that route, because she's in her 80's aside from some other reason, but it just wasn't practical.
  • k_rn21k_rn21 member
    @cait32 no it just makes you sound human, lol. I have those moments too. I want to be active in my children’s life, contribute to my family but also make sure I have my me time so I don’t go insane. It’s hard to balance! I am still so undecided on weather I should go back to my nursing job or attempt to start my own in home daycare. It’s scary! 
  • When I had my DD, I dropped down from full time to 3/4 time. I honestly feel it's the best of both worlds. I know being a full time SAHM is not for me, but neither of working an incredibly stressful full time job. I work 8-2 and it's perfect. This way I get adult socialization every day, my DD gets education and has time to socialize with peers, and we still get to have all afternoon together. I love it and highly recommend it for those who are unsure whether they want to continue working or SAH. If it works for your family's budget, working PT is a great compromise. I'm very grateful it works for us. 
  • With my DD I was a SAHM and took prerequisites for a program I want to get into. When I left him, that got put on hold and I worked full time.
    This time I am going to likely work for my SO’s/FIL business at home so I can take care of the baby and DD at the same time. The business is located on our property. This way I can be employed full time until I get into a CLS program.
  • cait32cait32 member
    @galentine do you feel like you are able to stick to your 75% schedule? I guess it depends on what field you're in...I was once told by a working mom friend (before I had kids) never to work part-time because you'll end up just working full-time for less pay. I guess in a literal hourly job that would be different, but for me with projects that are often dictated by clients' schedules, it would be really hard to be like "I only work until 2pm" or "I don't work on Fridays" etc. I technically started part time when I joined this firm and still felt like I didn't have much time away (because, like, I'd have meetings scheduled between 9-5 and, sure, I might have an hour or two off, but it didn't feel like it was actually "off" if I worked at the beginning and end of the day). 
    DSS: March 2006
    DD: July 2017
    DS: February 2019
    BFP #3 TW ended in CP March 2020
    BFP #4 - TW ended in CP August 2020
    BFP #5 - due October 2021
  • @cait32, that's a really good point that it's industry-dependant. It does work for me, and I almost always work my 30 hours and that's it. (There are some weeks I have to work 40, but it's rare and I usually know with plenty of advance notice). I got very very lucky that my work was willing to make this arrangement. When I was pregnant with DD, I applied for a 30/hour position in the same organization (different department) and was offered the job. I approached my current supervisor and let him know I was planning to take the job since I wanted fewer hours. He basically said, "I'll do whatever I can to keep you in our department" and was able to give me a reduced hour schedule. The main reason it worked out was that I had a PT coworker who wanted to increase her hours. So she and I kind of swapped at the same time: she started working 10 hours per week more, and I started working 10 hours per week less. I shifted some of my responsibilities to her then. It's definitely more challenging to get my job done in fewer hours, but I'm motivated to do it because I love my free afternoons!!
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