B*tchfest Monday 5.3

keikilove · May 2021

jlbaker08 · May 2021

I'll start

When we got married, we were gifted some nice cast iron pans. I've meticulously cared for them and MH was super proud to learn how to help. He's insisted that because I cook 95% of our meals, he is the dishwasher and wants to be able to take care of them.
This morning I found my cast iron pan, still on the stove, still with last night's food cooked in the bottom of it. I'm sure he would've "gotten to it eventually" but that won't work for these pans. You're supposed to clean them right away or it messes them up.
His timeline for doing anything has 2 paths, now and not-right-now. The now path is great, things happen promptly. The not-right-now path is an enigma, things happen maybe, sometime, eventually, if he remembers...

knottie7bc8467b6ac68efe · May 2021

@jlbaker08 We will leave dishes for days, but yeah, the cast iron is always straight away or the next morning. We've never had any issues with ours in the long-term even when we do occasionally leave things a little too long in them. But yes, both MH and I are two ends of the "promptly spectrum," and that sounds like YH, too. Now or some-mystical-future-time-no-one-can-predict. It's a good thing we're married because I don't think anyone else could deal with our living habits, and sometimes even we cannot.

Can my bitchfest just be "fuck 2021"? I am now embracing the fact that this year is definitely a year of struggles and unforeseen hardships, and it's definitely a year that must be weathered. A true blessing in it is that MH and I have come through several of these years together, and it always makes our marriage and relationship stronger, but hot damn, I prefer growth seasons that are about flourishing rather than weathering storms. Over the weekend/past week, my mindset really shifted into "weather this," and at least, I think that will make the remainder of the year more bearable than it has been so far.

inthewoods23 · May 2021

This is a confession not a BF

We were gifted a cast iron pan as a wedding gift nearly 5 years ago and have never used it

It would have been destroyed since we sometimes went a week - even 2 weeks! - between washing the dishes. So yeah... But I'm a lot better at getting things washed these days so we'd probably be okay doing it now. I just don't know how well cast iron pans work on electric stoves (the flat glass type). I feel it would take ages to heat up but what do I know... I've never used it.

I've mostly put off using it since I'm not sure if I need to season it or not.

knottie7bc8467b6ac68efe · May 2021

@inthewoods23 You do need to season it, but you can do that in an oven with olive oil. As for working on glass top, it does. We've used ours on glass cooktops. Be a little gentle when placing it down but yeah, works fine, and no, cast iron doesn't take particularly long to heat up in any case. Never wash it with soap (this can be a controversial truth about cleaning cast iron but it is a fundamental truth that you only clean it with hot water and a sponge -- no soap!). Periodically wipe it with olive oil and let air dry to keep the seasoning even and the cast iron from rusting. Truly, though, cast iron is so easy to clean and that's why it's the one thing that gets cleaned more or less right away. We cook with our cast iron pans almost daily.

inthewoods23 · May 2021

@beakay8 I have hard time believing the whole "just wipe it with water" because I'm 90% sure that's what my Cuisinart Griddler says to do with the plates but at this point everything just ends up baked on. DH likes to close the damn lid when he's done cooking burgers instead of leaving it open to cool down. That is an absolute pain to clean.

knottie7bc8467b6ac68efe · May 2021

@inthewoods23 Oh, I put those griddle plates in the dishwasher lolol Can attest to having never washed cast iron with soap though and never soaked. It is one reason to do the cleaning right away so everything comes off easily enough. You want it to stay seasoned, thus no soap.

fameonmain2 · May 2021

Confession that I also fall under the do it right away or some unforeseen future date type of person...

babyodo · May 2021

@beakay8 - we put our Griddler plates in the dishwasher too.

My Monday BF is that I got selected to provide a urine sample at work this morning (I'm military), which is normally fine, I'm pretty used to peeing in a cup at this point, haha. However, their rules recently changed and we have to remove our blouse and just stand there in our undershirt while we wait to sign in and get our sample cup. It's super awkward, especially because several of my male subordinates were there as well. They told me we have to de-blouse because people have been known to try to sneak stuff in to the bathroom with them to mess with their samples. Okay, first of all, if that were true then we'd need to remove our cargo pants, too, because those have several huge pockets, way more than our blouses do. And furthermore, why can't we remove our blouses once we get to the bathroom? The observer is with us the whole time, so it's not like they wouldn't catch anything amiss. Andplusalso, they were out of female transfer cups, so I wound up getting urine all over my hand from trying to catch it with the less than 2" mouth of the sample cup. One of my subordinates is pregnant and really struggled with providing her sample, too. It's just, ugh, not a good process.

keikilove · May 2021

@babyodo WTAF 😱

knottie7bc8467b6ac68efe · May 2021

@babyodo I am going to second @keikilove here with a WTAF

knottie7bc8467b6ac68efe · May 2021

Sort of a BF? I have two language keyboards installed on my phone -- English and Spanish -- and today, I keep accidentally swiping to Spanish every time I try to hit space and it's bugging the crap out of me. My fingers are not cooperating with the keyboard. It usually takes me a full text to realize what's going on with my words since I use the swipe keyboard and it starts autocorrecting to some very random words in Spanish when I think I'm typing in English.

rachelredhead · May 2021

@babyodo WTF? That logic is so stupid and awkward!

chgilmore · May 2021

@babyodo omg WTAF hope they can fix that for next time, wow
@beakay8 I'll second that "f*ck 2021" I'm so ready for things to get to a sense of normalcy (a new normal, not the old one) and it feels like everyone else keeps d*cking it up
@jlbaker08 we don't have cast iron for this reason, and because MH is a little too prompt sometimes. he destroyed an heirloom Revereware 13" skillet pan because he didn't know you had to let it cool before you wash it so we had to donate it. now I have an incomplete set with a replacement skillet but it's not the same.

my BF is that I STILL HAVE NOT RECEIVED FEEDBACK ON MY THESIS. I'd like to know if I can graduate on time please and thank you!!! I meet with my advisor this afternoon regardless but she said she'd have feedback for me beforehand. Ughhhhhhhhh

kgg2241 · May 2021

This thread is cracking me up. Just yesterday our dishes had piled up from Saturday and Sunday and DH was annoyed at them. I told him that everyone lives like this, they just pretend they always have a perfectly clear sink and that they always put dishes straight into the dishwasher. Happy to hear some of you also live like us

.

@babyodo Yikessss. That is crazy.

knottie7bc8467b6ac68efe · May 2021

@kgg2241 We have dishes piled up from like two weeks ago. I mean, WE RINSE THEM but yeah, no, we're currently living a "wash for us" lifestyle because everything is a disaster, and that's what it's gotta be. Planning to do all the handwashing today, at least, because we have pest control coming again on Wed and I need to have everything put away for that. Motivation!

@chgilmore Yes, everyone else *is* d*cking it up (also cracking up at that phrase) and I am so sorry your frustrations about your thesis continue. I do not miss academia and I sympathize with everyone who is living that life at any time.

inthewoods23 · May 2021

My coworker is my BF yet again....

We've had a new phone system for over a month now. In our old system, voicemails used to show up in the application window and we could see which voicemails had been read, deleted, or left unread. This meant there was no need to communicate if you had handled a voicemail or not since we were all signed in as the same "workgroup". The agreement was just that you'd mark a voicemail as read if you had listened to it and were going to respond to it. Then delete it once you've called the customer back.

The new system now sends the voicemails to us in an email. This now means that we've lost visibility on what voicemails people had listened to since the emails come to us individually. The new agreement was that we should respond to the email to say "I'll take care of this one" so that others don't end up listening and trying to call the same person back when someone may have already done so. Essentially, notify people up front, not after the fact.

I listened to a voicemail, sent a reply that I'd take care of it and a minute after my email got sent out, my coworker sends out an email that he took care of it. Well, thank freaking god I didn't actually call the customer back yet. Hopefully he gets the message when I say to email the group BEFORE he actually calls customers back. Sigh.

kgg2241 · May 2021

@inthewoods23 I think we used to use the same phone system as you and now we are trying to figure out how to track them since the software is discontinued. We have started keeping a voicemail log in Teams. Either way, that is annoying. Hopefully, he gets with the program soon.

fameonmain2 · May 2021

@babyodo because I don't think we can say this one enough WTAF.

@chgilmore ughhhh I am rooting for you!!!! Hoping this afternoon's meeting goes well.

jlbaker08 · May 2021

@inthewoods23 I also have an electric glass top, and it works fine. I just don't bang it down hard or slide it around much for fear of scraping the glass. and I'll second @beakay8 that once it's seasoned, you can actually just wipe it out. I use the little scrub daddy sponges and hot water and it gets clean. However, I don't use olive oil, I season it after washing with crisco or grapeseed oil. also, your coworker sounds like a tool.

@chgilmore I would be soooo upset if MH ruined an heirloom pan... I was upset that he *almost ruined a new one! I hope they give you some information about your thesis soon!

@kgg2241 Don't get me wrong, we leave dishes in the sink and clutter around all the time, apparently I'm just a little crazy about the new pans

@babyodo that sounds crazy, having to de-blouse before you even get to the bathroom seems extreme

rachelredhead · May 2021

My BF is also work related in that the legal software we use is designed to make me want to set myself on fire. And getting support when it crashes is miserable since everyone is remote. So the IT folks keep accessing my computer to remove and reinstall software at The Worst Possible Times. I am going to lose my mind.

Unrelated, but the best way to season a cast iron pan IMO is over open fire with a pound of bacon. So if you go camping (or know someone who does), that’s the ticket for an awesome seasoning.

chgilmore · May 2021

BF update! My advisor never showed for our meeting because she's in the ER but she said she will have my draft back to me "with comments" in the morning. I have many feelings about this. Most of them involve a degree of panic.

keikilove · May 2021

@chgilmore Ugggghhh! So sorry! I hope she’s really able to get you those comments despite being in the ER.

boymama2018 · May 2021

I hope this doesn't sound tacky complaining about this but My MIL has always been a major PIA. We went to the zoo with my FIL and his GF Sunday. His GF loves to post pics on social media (I don't love doing things with them for this reason). Not 2 hours after we got back my MIL calls my husband and NEEDS to go to the park Tuesday (today). She saw we were out and needs to go and do the same. This is just the way she is. She is super jealous and always needs to do things when she sees other people do them because she gets jealous and insecure. **TW** My parents had a car seat installed (pre-pandemic) to help us with daycare transfers and let me tell you RIGHT when she saw they had one she would not stop saying she needs one too even though I don't need her to do anything and actually never gave permission that I was ok with it.**End TW**. It really upset me. I now have to take my lunch hour today and go to the park to appease her or else she starts trouble. She has started trouble at my SIL's bridal shower years ago because my FIL's GF took a picture in front of the cake. She started trouble with me because I booked my shower date (3 months in advance, locally) without checking with her first in case she planned a vacation? I am just trying not to get stressed during the TWW and all she does is cause us stress. When she is over I make sure to keep busy and go about my day because the conversation and things she talks about stresses me out. Husband feels the same about her, we try to appease her as best we can because if she gets angry its like world war 2 and so not worth it. I thought she would be better now since she found a boyfriend and she is better but her old ways still remain the same.

keikilove · May 2021

@boymama2018 Geez, so sorry for all that constant drama & stress! Insert MIL’s name below.

inthewoods23 · May 2021

@boymama2018 girl, set some boundaries and do not feel bad about it! That sounds stressful AF

boymama2018 · May 2021

@keikilove @inthewoods23 thank you! I needed to vent. She is such a handful. She calls and my poor husband sighs. I don't like being the point of contact for her so I leave that to him. The only silver lining to come out of the pandemic was that I didn't have to deal with her. I know it sounds terrible but its the truth. lol. She went to Florida for 2 months and it felt like a vacation for all of us.

inthewoods23 · May 2021

@boymama2018 reminds me of my vacations with DH's family. It's annoying with SIL because she'd be moody about something stupid at some point that would kill the mood instantly. There's no where for us to really escape because we're staying at a small lake house. Now that she's got a fiance, well, I've hated every single vacation with him because I just don't like him for a number of reasons. It's never quiet on the pontoon boat because he can't deal with it being so quiet so he's often talking. It's not great when you're just trying to enjoy the birds and other nature sounds while chilling on the lake. The last vacation we went on SIL and him got into some argument about something or whatever so they stayed behind because she was being a massive grump about it. Having just the 4 of us alone on the boat was the most relaxing part of our vacation that year because we just fished or laid out soaking up the sun. We didn't need the small talk to have a good time. We stayed out for SIX hours. It was magical.

kgg2241 · May 2021

@boymama2018 oh girl, I totally relate. My mom is the exact same. Everything is a competition with her and my in-laws. Or even with her and my siblings or husband. It is exhausting. I have learned to set strong boundaries with her, and it sounds like you need to have DH do the same. People will push as much as you let them. I do get it though. Sometimes it is just easier to go along with it than deal with the drama.

boymama2018 · May 2021

@inthewoods23 they sound like Debbie downers for sure! Yes exactly, when the point of tension is not around you then it changes the whole vibe doesn't it? it becomes so much more peaceful. I would hate to be that person who people dread to be around. My MIL doesn't care though most things go in one ear and out the other unless its for her own good. I have been really trying to protect my vibe and surround myself with positivity the last few years. I let my husband deal with her most of the time. When she was away I didn't have to worry about her seeing what we were doing because she wasn't here. It has gotten so bad I ask my FIL's GF not to take pictures sometimes. It was just nice not to be filled with anxiety for 2 months lol.

boymama2018 · May 2021

@kgg2241 I agree! I have been pretty good about keeping my boundaries but my poor husband gets stuck a lot lol. He has gotten much better but he also realllllyyyy tolerates her. We have so many other things going on in our lives (work, family etc) her crap is just so ridiculous. Literally when I see her calling my stomach turns. It like a "ughhhhhhh what now?!" type of feeling.

boymama2018 · May 2021

Well I got out of going to the park on Tuesday. She came to my house instead and asked if I still have a cleaning lady coming to my house. Subtle digs folks.

stormageddon-darklordofall · May 2021

@boymama2018 I'd've been all like "Oh no! Unfortunately during Covid there was a complication and that was canceled/happens less often/etc. There's definitely an opening though, and we could use the help as you can see. Are you available? We could start working on dishes/vacuuming/etc. right now! I'm so appreciative of your willingness to help!" :: hands her a dustpan with a sweet smile on my face ::

boymama2018 · May 2021

@stormageddon-darklordofall hahahaha! She wouldn't even 'get it' if I said that sadly. I hate when she asks those types of questions. I actually run around and clean when I hear she's coming to avoid those types of digs. Truth is she knows my husband had a pay cut due to Covid and we WFH full time. I think the answer was obvious. When I politely responded 'nope' she said oh yeah because of Covid, but I think people are starting to use them again......I should have said oh great do you want to pay her for me and make sure she vaccinated and give us a place to work from while she's here?

stormageddon-darklordofall · May 2021

@boymama2018 She sounds like a peach! LOL. Next time she wants to 'come over' I'd be all "OH, we'd love to have you, but are busy cleaning that day. I wouldn't want the house to be 'unacceptable' to you. Maybe next time?" #ImATerriblePersonButImOKWithIt

boymama2018 · May 2021

@stormageddon-darklordofall omg amazing LOL. I dream of following through with these remarks quite honestly.

[Deleted User] · May 2021

I'm super late ut omg @babyodo That certainly sounds PROBLEMATIC :#

@inthewoods23 RE: cast iron pan usage I believe in you! The only other big caution I would have, is once you get a nice season on it, ***don't use it for anything tomatoey.*** Cast iron loves fat; creamy sauces will be fine, but the acid in anything with tomatoes will eat away the season, and if it's bad enough, you will have to start all over. Not that I'm saying this from personal experience or anything. :s They say you can try a bit once it has a really good season on, but the truth is, it will still want to etch away. Maybe if you just throw a few cherry tomatoes in quickly at the end of a recipe? or a little bit of tomato paste in a whole dish? you could get away with it unscathed, but man, I would be afraid even that was pushing it, just based on what a royal pain it can be. Hypothetically, of course.

inthewoods23 · May 2021

@BusinessWife the good thing is I basically hate all things tomato except for marinara sauce a ketchup with certain foods. I don't think I've ever cooked tomatoes of any kind in a pan. DH roast tomatillos once for a salsa verde but we found that tastes way better left raw.

[Deleted User] · May 2021

Yeah, so if you stick with stainless for your marinara you'll be good :) @inthewoods23

daisy0322 · May 2021

Ugh Thursday bitchfest - MH isn’t able to come home this weekend at all. I was really looking forward to it. However his project is wrapping up early and he’ll be home next Friday for good! Which I know is hood news but we had plans tomorrow so I’m going to be grumpy about it for a minute.

kgg2241 · May 2021

@Daisy22 ah lame. Such a bummer. Awesome that he will be home for good soon though!

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