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October 2020 Moms
knottie0cf02b023c5a6cc9
member
How to motivate dad
knottie0cf02b023c5a6cc9
member
Please remove this if this isnt where it belongs.
My question is how do I motivate the dad to help out a little with things?
I am currently 28 weeks and a few days pregnant; with it comes some lovely carpal tunnel and back pain (to the point on bad days it takes about 30 minutes to get out of bed).
My boyfriend is not the most motivated man around. Ive been doing the vast majority of the cleaning, laundry which requires me taking the baskets down a flight of stairs and pulling a wagon three blocks, and looking after his three year old when I have my days off from work...
Last week, he was complaining about an old pullout couch in our suite he wanted to get rid of. It ended with me, my landlord, and a family friend tearing it apart and taking it out. He fractured his arm two weeks ago which has been his main excuse for not doing anything lately.
I dont know what to do anymore. I try to keep up with everything but, as pregnancy progresses, I'm finding it more and more difficult to continue as I was. Tuesday I told him I can't keep doing everything. His response was he couldnt do anything because of his arm... Which hes been lifting the dog with now.
I'm not looking for him to cater to my every whim, but it would be nice for him to at least pretend.
I'm so tired. I don't know what to do anymore.
Between my work trying to cut back even more of my hours and coming home just to do even more work, I'm at my wits end. I don't get breaks. I don't get to have naps.
It feels a lot like I'm just an incubator and nanny.
What can I do?
My question is how do I motivate the dad to help out a little with things?
I am currently 28 weeks and a few days pregnant; with it comes some lovely carpal tunnel and back pain (to the point on bad days it takes about 30 minutes to get out of bed).
My boyfriend is not the most motivated man around. Ive been doing the vast majority of the cleaning, laundry which requires me taking the baskets down a flight of stairs and pulling a wagon three blocks, and looking after his three year old when I have my days off from work...
Last week, he was complaining about an old pullout couch in our suite he wanted to get rid of. It ended with me, my landlord, and a family friend tearing it apart and taking it out. He fractured his arm two weeks ago which has been his main excuse for not doing anything lately.
I dont know what to do anymore. I try to keep up with everything but, as pregnancy progresses, I'm finding it more and more difficult to continue as I was. Tuesday I told him I can't keep doing everything. His response was he couldnt do anything because of his arm... Which hes been lifting the dog with now.
I'm not looking for him to cater to my every whim, but it would be nice for him to at least pretend.
I'm so tired. I don't know what to do anymore.
Between my work trying to cut back even more of my hours and coming home just to do even more work, I'm at my wits end. I don't get breaks. I don't get to have naps.
It feels a lot like I'm just an incubator and nanny.
What can I do?
Re: How to motivate dad
Does he seem sympathetic to your needs, even if he feels he can't actually help? Might be good to have a serious conversation about expectations for childcare before the baby is born. (Will he get up at night to help with feeding, changing, etc?) Good luck! Pregnancy isn't easy and you deserve support!