August 2021 Moms
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PGAL 1/31
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This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth, child loss, to name a few). Hopefully we can all lend support to each other through the hormone filled ride that is pregnancy!
Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning on this entire thread.
How far along are you? Any milestones?
How are you feeling (physically)?
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)?
When is your next appointment?
Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
Re: PGAL 1/31
How far along are you? Any milestones? 10+1 just waiting to the heartbeat on the 25th
How are you feeling (physically)? Still nauseated. Thrown up a handful of times. Just all around blah still
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? Jealous of all who have doppler's and can hear their babies heartbeat. I can't justify spending the money on one, especially since that will just drive me more crazy if I can't find it.
When is your next appointment? Feb 25th...forever away
Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) just so ready to be able to feel this baby move. Debating on when to start taking bump pics. (I've been wearing maternity clothes for the past week as 95% of my normal clothes don't fit anymore.)
How far along are you? Any milestones? 11+1
How are you feeling (physically)? The usual (tired/sick)
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? My anxiety is ramping up again.
When is your next appointment? 2/11
Rants/raves/whatever: I have a Doppler but I’ve been too scared to try it. I know if I can’t find the heartbeat it’ll make me feel worse.
How far along are you? Any milestones? 11+3...past time milestones, just need to hear heartbeat a second time
How are you feeling (physically)? meh, comes and goes and it's been like that for awhile now. i feel queasy every morning at 4am and need a snack, sleep sucks, headaches daily, so so so bloated
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? anxious and hopeful and anxious about feeling hopeful, my partner is all in already after being initially gun shy after our loss, he's full on telling our close friends (which i'm fine with) and kissing my belly and being cute, and i wanna just be happy with him
When is your next appointment? tomorrow morning!! i meet with my new OB for routine 4 week exam, i saw the heartbeat at 8 weeks and i hope tomorrow he does a doppler at least. i'm so scared
i just want to fast forward to 2/12 when the NT ultrasound is scheduled
Rants/raves/whatever: nothing new i'm just mentally reaching for peace, i want to think after tomorrow i'll hopefully feel better but i'm so nervous and then thinking like after that then i'll be nervous for NIPT, NT, for feeling kicks, anatomy scan, etc. i'm gonna do some light yoga and try to burn off some of this buzzy energy and hope for the best tomorrow
How far along are you? Any milestones?
13+5
How are you feeling (physically)?
Pretty good. A few moments here and there if nausea, exhaustion. Having some dizziness when I stand. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)?
For the first time, I feel good. I got my NIPT results back last night and everything came back negative. Last time I was high risk for Downs and baby had Turners so I'm absolutely elated. I'm still a little anxious to see a healthy heart at 20wks but I feel like I can actually enjoy being pregnant for the first time.
When is your next appointment?
GP next week and a pelvic floor specialist the week after. Then nothing til 20wks in mid March.
Rants/raves/whatever
I've had some issues with by BIL's wife. I guess SIL now. They have very different beliefs from me and are pretty much all about money and golf. When we had our loss in August there was no acknowledgement from her at all. That sent me into a tailspin of anger and guilt and it was awful. In November I reached out to her and had a frank convo about it and it went well, but then radio silence. Well she texted me last night after MH told his brother the news and it made me so happy. Its the little things.
How far along are you? Any milestones? 12+1 - passed our milestone a few weeks ago
How are you feeling (physically)? Much better. Still weird hunger/food aversions, but not as terrible as I have been.
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? At this point in my pregnancies I've always had terrible nightmares that bring up all my past trauma. Previously it was all related to my scary ex, but now I'm having these intense flashbacks to all the challenges with the retained tissue and the trauma of that experience. So that's been really unsettling.
When is your next appointment? 2/17
Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): I've been doing much better actually telling DH how I'm feeling rather than just putting on a brave face. With the previous pregnancies, I just toughed it out and he never understood how hard it is. He was upset recently because he felt I told my girlfriends more about how I was doing than him (which is fair!) so now when he asks how I am I'm completely honest. Which has helped a ton!
How far along are you? Any milestones? 10w3d. I’ve passed my loss milestone and we heard the HB for the first time on Friday.
How are you feeling (physically)? The nausea was getting worse so I got a prescription for Diclectin. And feeling so wiped.
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? OK until I'm not?
When is your next appointment? My next doc appointment is March 5th! So far away. BUT I booked a private ultrasound for around 12 weeks I think it was? Just a 2D one to get a sneak peek before our anatomy scan at 20 weeks.
I've also heard the heartbeat this time. I was never able to pick it last time.
This morning I was actually hungry and has hungry pains. I was so confused because I've basically either been pregnant or had crippling anxiety for 6 months so I haven't felt hungry.
Last week was rough but hearing that sweet heartbeat helped immensely.
I was able to let my daughter listen to the heartbeat this morning. Baby kept moving away my she thought it was hilarious 🥰
@doodlemom131 I'm glad you are getting along with your SIL. Inlaws are hard work!
How far along are you? Any milestones?
13w1d
How are you feeling (physically)? I was starting to feel better but I've been feeling nauseous again. Mostly after I eat, even if it's bread. My nausea didn't go away completely with my daughter until 18 weeks. I was hoping that wasn't going to happen this time but it's not looking good.
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? I've been good. I've used the doppler a few times. I am waiting for the NIPT blood work results. Ultrasound looked fine.
When is your next appointment? Feb 9th is my next appt with the dr and March 19th is my anatomy scan.
Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I've been really sad lately feeling like my two year old has missed out on doing so many things (no classes through the town, cancelled Disney trip, cancelled Sesame Place trip) I don't think this year is going to be any better but it's depressing that there is time I can't get back. I hope this summer is okay so we can at least do small things like the aquarium and the zoo or something.
@ladyk127 i'm hanging on for summer, too. Hopefully more things are open, we would love to actually walk around in the zoo, too!
How far along are you? Any milestones? 10 weeks today
How are you feeling (physically)? yucky. just finished working the past 7 days and it made all the symptoms come back so bad. the headaches just need to stop already.
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)? ok. anxiety about NIPT but trying to stay positive. I get pretty bad seasonal affective disorder and not being able to vacation this year (or the past 3 years really) is really making my mood worse.
When is your next appointment? NIPT tomorrow and OB follow up in 3 weeks
Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here). I'm so lucky to be able to use the ultrasound whenever I want at work. I used to doppler daily (and honestly sometimes twice per day) with my other two. Now i just look at it when i'm working and feel so much relief.
How far along are you? Any milestones? 10+4, passed all my major milestones
How are you feeling (physically)? Great, which honestly has me really worried. I still have the occasional afternoon exhaustion but the random nausea waves are pretty much completely gone.
How are you feeling (mentally/emotionally)?
I'm completely spiralling. It's so hard to stay positive, I keep second guessing my symptoms and thinking something must be wrong. I see my other pregnant friends and how they breeze through the first trimester without a worry in the world - part of me just feels like I've been robbed of that joy and excitement after my first loss, and it's just been replaced with anxiety, worry, and worse case scenarios playing over and over in my head. Will I ever be able to enjoy this pregnancy even after the first trimester is over? I almost feel like I'll never get rid of these negative thoughts. I keep looking at statistics of loss after hearing a heartbeat to reassure myself, but that will only last a couple hours before I'm back to the negative thoughts.
When is your next appointment?
Feb 11th, which feels like forever
Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
I keep second guessing this pregnancy and thinking everything is going too smoothly and it's too good to be true. I guess I should consider myself one of the lucky ones who never really had morning sickness - the most was just a little nausea on an empty stomach which I was able to keep under control most of the time, and now it's pretty much completely gone. I feel guilty for not counting my blessings, but not having that reassurance that my symptoms are still there has been really hard to cope with. Every morning I wake up and I wonder if I'm even pregnant, if the baby's heart is still beating, and what I'll find out in the next ultrasound. I also keep having these crazy vivid dreams/nightmares where I have a MC/MMC and theyre starting to take a toll on me. I keep thinking it's my subconscious trying to tell me something, even if I know it's irrational and probably just caused by all the negative thoughts I have.
I've been having a ton of vivid dreams, which I know can be a symptom of pregnancy. Most of mine have been super scary and wake me up, but are vaguely related to something going on in my day. Maybe your MMC dreams are just a symptom.
But either way, we are all here for you! And if venting and sharing in a safe space like this is what helps, please do! Sending you big, big hugs.