paternity?

kitty9887678 · January 2021

So on October 17-19th I had sex with guy #1. I got my period on october 21st, I think. (It was a tuesday) I had it until the following Sunday. I then had sex with man number 2 between october 31st-November 9th. I kept testing negative. I tested neg October 28th, November 4th, Novemeber 10th and I think Nov 18th. I finally got a positive on Nov 24th and had an hcg level of 170 on Nov 25th than an hcg of 311 on the 27th. I had an ultrasound on Dec 1 (vaginal) no yolk sac, fetal pole or anything. sac measuring 4.1 mm. Then dec 20th I had one at 8w6 days baby measuring 7 w 2 days. Then on jan 20th I had one at 12w 6 days baby measuring about 11w 2 days/11 w 4 days. My question is who is the father? Im going to get the prenatal dna test but I would like some reassuring because I feel sick to my stomach over this for the past how many months. Is it possible it could be from october 17-19th???

capnjackharkness · January 2021

You had sex. You had a period. You had sex. You are pregnant. Hmm... wonder who the daddy probably is???

Congrats. You currently have a healthy baby... one that many women would kill for. It sounds like you were TTGP, which you did successfully, and you are content with your lifestyle choices. So, why does it matter? If you need to collect child support payments after the baby is born, you can do paternity tests then to find out.

meggyme · January 2021

kitty9887678 said:

So on October 17-19th I had sex with guy #1. I got my period on october 21st, I think. (It was a tuesday) I had it until the following Sunday. I then had sex with man number 2 between october 31st-November 9th. I kept testing negative. I tested neg October 28th, November 4th, Novemeber 10th and I think Nov 18th. I finally got a positive on Nov 24th and had an hcg level of 170 on Nov 25th than an hcg of 311 on the 27th. I had an ultrasound on Dec 1 (vaginal) no yolk sac, fetal pole or anything. sac measuring 4.1 mm. Then dec 20th I had one at 8w6 days baby measuring 7 w 2 days. Then on jan 20th I had one at 12w 6 days baby measuring about 11w 2 days/11 w 4 days. My question is who is the father? Im going to get the prenatal dna test but I would like some reassuring because I feel sick to my stomach over this for the past how many months. Is it possible it could be from october 17-19th???

If you had a period then it was not the first man because your body flushed out his sperm, along with your egg and the lining of your uterus. Unless you had other partners after that period it is the second man.

bows22 · January 2021

When you say that you got your period on “October 21, I think” - do you mean you “think” that was the day or you “think” it was your period (but it may not have been?) if it was your period then it’s not his.

kitty9887678 · January 2021

im saying i think it was my period. It came a little bit sooner than usual thats why i used the "i think" but it did last about 5/6 days.

coldlife2 · January 2021

I’m so confused. First off, Oct. 21 was not a Tuesday. It was a Wednesday. Then your period ended the 25th. I don’t understand why you were taking pregnancy tests three days after your period ended.

Finally, your ultrasound dates support the second guy. Early ultrasounds, which that first one is, are a very reliable way of dating a pregnancy, so there’s no reason not to trust them within a very small range of dates.

meggyme · January 2021

@coldlife2 because school’s education of basic female biology is lacking.

harpseal135 · January 2021

meggyme said:

@coldlife2 because school’s education of basic female biology is lacking.

Doesn't just fall on the hands of schools - the lack of parenting too - my 12 year old is very knowledgeable and it wasn't from school. Would rather her learn the truth than what she heard from friends at school.

meggyme · January 2021

@harpseal135 true. I stand corrected. because education of basic female biology is lacking.

harpseal135 · January 2021

meggyme said:

@harpseal135 true. I stand corrected. because education of basic female biology is lacking.

@meggyme it definately is!

kitty9887678 · January 2021

@meggyme @harpseal135 first off, other things can cause bleeding from your vagina other than your period. Second off, I think it was my period but it happened to come a week sooner than it was supposed to. Thanks buddies. You guys should learn how to not be so rude. Didn't your parents teach you if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all? I hope you teach your 12 year old that. Thanks sweeties.

lelkcot · January 2021

Well, sweetie.... if you tested negative until November 24th, than it's a very safe assumption that the bleeding you had in October was a period. A wide variety of things can cause your period to be early - from early ovulation, to hormones getting out of whack and having a short luteal phase that month. And if you're not interested in getting feedback from people, probably better not to post on a board asking for just that.

coldlife2 · January 2021

kitty9887678 said:

@meggyme @harpseal135 first off, other things can cause bleeding from your vagina other than your period. Second off, I think it was my period but it happened to come a week sooner than it was supposed to. Thanks buddies. You guys should learn how to not be so rude. Didn't your parents teach you if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all? I hope you teach your 12 year old that. Thanks sweeties.

But the fact is you had period-seeming bleeding, then negative tests and then normal ultrasounds - two of them! What more could you possibly want?

If you had been pregnant from the first guy prior to your period, you probably lost the baby if you had that level of bleeding (not always, I know women who’ve had heavy bleeding and a healthy baby, but probably). Regardless, it wouldn’t be the same baby.

Is there some reason you don’t trust the ultrasound?

meggyme · January 2021

Just here to add that yes, I will be teaching my daughters basic female biology. And while there are some other reasons for vaginal bleeding THE MOST OBVIOUS ONE IS YOUR PERIOD.

jackie_dunny · January 2021

kitty9887678 said:

@meggyme @harpseal135 first off, other things can cause bleeding from your vagina other than your period. Second off, I think it was my period but it happened to come a week sooner than it was supposed to. Thanks buddies. You guys should learn how to not be so rude. Didn't your parents teach you if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all? I hope you teach your 12 year old that. Thanks sweeties.

kitty9887678 said:

So on October 17-19th I had sex with guy #1. I got my period on october 21st, I think. (It was a tuesday) I had it until the following Sunday.

Stuck in the box

Just wanted to point out that YOU said you had your period. They’re just going off the information YOU gave.

harpseal135 · January 2021

@kitty9887678 if you are bleeding between periods that means that you may have fibroid, cervical cancer, or other medical issue that really needs to be addressed by a doctor. You don't just bleed between periods, just because! Unless you had super rough sex and caused you to bleed like a period, and would probably hurt if it caused bleeding- but that more than likely wouldn't be like a period.

You stated that you "got my period Oct 21 I think" so don't sit there and try and make @meggyme and me look like the ignorant ones...... Its your own words. A week early or not- periods are regular until they are not.

kitty9887678 · January 2021

@lelkcot I appreciate the advice and the feedback but I took it in a negative way when they are saying it has to do with parenting for me wondering if maybe it wasnt my period. Or just like sperm can live inside you for up to 5 days and some people do ovulate right after there period ends.

kitty9887678 · January 2021

@coldlife2 I am just confused I guess as to why they say my GA is 12w 6 days but its also measuring 11 weeks 4 days.

meggyme · January 2021

@kitty9887678 because unless you were tracking your ovulation you have no idea when you actually conceived. Your body isn’t a calendar, it doesn’t ovulate because it’s day 14 of your cycle. You probably ovulated a couple days later than you thought. Or that fertilized egg floated around for a day or two before finding a cushy place to land.

This is what I meant by a failure in teaching female biology. I only learned this when TTC my first, mostly from women here on these boards. And in my defense, I blamed it on teachers first.

coldlife2 · January 2021

kitty9887678 said:

@coldlife2 I am just confused I guess as to why they say my GA is 12w 6 days but its also measuring 11 weeks 4 days.

Several reasons

1 What @meggyme said.

2 An early ultrasound is considered the gold standard in calculating a due date. But they still are not 100% accurate. They can be off by up to 5 days. Unless your periods are extremely irregular (meaning you don’t know when you probably got pregnant) or you think your ultrasound tech flunked their courses and somehow got hired anyway, you should trust that.

3 You have longer or shorter cycles than the average. The standard due date calculation (280 days after the first day of your last period) only works if you have a standard 28-day cycle and you ovulate “normally,” meaning exactly in the middle.

stormageddon-darklordofall · January 2021

Exactly what @coldlife2 and @meggyme said. I average 35 day cycles, so my pregnancies were always 1 week behind what my 'timeframe' was based upon LMP. And I agree that the teaching on this is lacking. In schools and in private. Pregnancy and women's bodies are considered topics people shouldn't talk about (although that's something we're working to change), so women are oftentimes completely uninformed about the way their bodies work.

LJMoon6 · January 2021

@kitty9887678 You said on Dec 20th (which was a Sunday, weird you were getting an U/S on the weekend but whatever) you were measuring 7w2d. Based on that, you would have had to ovulate around Nov 13th (fertile days being Nov 8th-13th). If the measurements during the U/S were off by up to 5 days, like they can be, that would still put you at ovulating around Nov 8th (fertile days being Nov 3rd-8th). Taking that into consideration, along with the fact that you had a period after having sex with guy #1, it’s impossible to be guy #1s!

ETA: Also, your HCG levels line up perfectly for it being guy #2s.

kitty9887678 · February 2021

@LJMoon6
yeah it was a sunday because I paid for a private ultrasound on the baby. but thank you all for your help!

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