Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
cyanope
member
Re: GTKY: How did you and your SO meet?
MH is an accountant (as are both his parents and brother), and I had just started working as an admin at the same firm as him. Apparently I met him at some point at a beer Friday in the lunch room, but I don't remember that.
I'd worked there for a few months and was out at one of the late hour bars downtown (where everything is messy and most people probably can't see straight). He was with some people I knew from work so I went over and chatted, very attracted to his beard (I have never seen him clean shaven). I insisted on buying him a drink and we made fun of people on the dance floor. When it was time to leave he offered to walk me home and we discovered we actually lived in the same apartment building, one apartment away from each other! Things progressed pretty fast from there and we will be celebrating our 2 year wedding anniversary in Feb!
My dad joked that I should date a boy like the one across the street, since he was respectful and responsible. So at 15 (he was 17), I started dating him. Lol...I don't think my dad was actually that happy at the time.
We went to different high schools, different colleges (same city) and got married at 25 and 27 on our 10 year anniversary (well, 3 days after it so it could be on a Saturday). We now work together at the same organization too. We have a 3 year old and 2 dogs. It's been a fun and wild ride growing up together while still becoming different individuals building a life together at the same time. Our 2nd child is due a few days after what will be our 18th year together, which seems a little crazy.
We’ve been together for 12 years, married for 8! And while our first kiddo didn’t have blonde ringlets, BB2 did 😆
DH and I have known each other for a long time - we don’t totally remember when we first met but our dads were in the same board of directors for a campground and we saw each other at camp every major holiday in the summer.
well he broke up with his girlfriend and I swooped in and scooped that up very quick lol. We did “intermediate distance” - 1.5 hours feels like a different country when you’re in high school and don’t have a car - lol all the way through college until we got married when I was in grad school.
We’ve been married for 4 years now and this is our first babe. I’ve gotten curvier (rounder) and he’s rocking a dad-bod these days but we’re more in love than ever. I’m a bit nervous for the new dynamic with a babe though - I know it will change things.
Im with the ‘met my spouse in a bar’ crew. 😂 He was out for drinks ‘in the big city’ with a coworker he hated. The coworker hit on me and I wanted none of it. Later in the evening DH was next to me at the bar while we were both ordering drinks and we started talking. He asked me out within 20 mins. I had just moved for professional school and knew no one else except for a handful of classmates. DH came off as funny but nervous, had a great career (not in my future profession, a huge plus since most of my classmates seemed like pompous asshats) and seemed nice so I agreed. I wouldn’t say it was love at first sight- we are REALLY different people and, at the time, had basically no shared interests. We often joke that we never would have liked each other’s online profiles if we encountered each other via online dating. However on our first date he talked about his family, how close he is with his siblings, and his friends that he made a point to call every week. I knew right then he was a genuine person and our values were the same.
We did long distance for 2 years, got engaged during that time and got married when I graduated med school. We'll celebrate our 10 yr anniversary this spring.
I met him through a friend who was interning at the same firm as him. I was quite drunk and flirty and my sweet DH who is a quiet guy was caught off guard In a very good way! He got my number and promptly called to ask me out on a date. Love at first sight for him, took me a little longer but not too much. We have been together for 8.5 years and married for 6.5.
My FIL and my dad have worked together in the same industry since before I was born. The summer after my first year in college I was an intern for my FIL's company. I threw a going away party for one of the guys that worked with us that was moving to Australia. My FIL's sons were both invited to the party (since the older one, my now BIL worked in our Chicago office) I met my husband at the party because his brother was (very) drunk and hitting on me and trying to get me to go back to his hotel room with him. My husband came over to "save" me because his brother can be super obnoxious. that was in 2007. I was 20 and he was 24. We ended up dating after that for four years, got engaged when I was 24, and got married at 26. We had our son when I was 27, about two weeks after our first wedding anniversary.
My FIL made a speech at our rehearsal dinner the night before our wedding and joked that my father had brokered a deal with him that included promising his first-born daughter to one of his sons to get the deal done. We'll be together 13 years this year.
TW - abuse mentioned in the early parts of this story:
Our story is kind of winding. At the time, I was engaged to someone else who was abusive. We were months away from being married when I met my current husband. I was his boss and we became friendly. He recognized right away the abuse that was happening (I was pretty good at hiding it, but he saw straight through it because of his life experiences) and helped me understand what was happening. When I finally got the courage up to leave scary ex, my now-husband let me stay with him, let me use his car for transportation, lent me money (because scary ex had complete control of my finances), and he and his good friend literally made sure I left the building alive when I escaped. We got good and drunk the night after I left (it was right around Cinco de Mayo and Derby), and had sex. Since I was still staying with him, we became much closer and he helped me process the shit I was going through leaving my ex. He went out of town for a few months, my period was late, and all of a sudden we were pregnant with DS from that one wild night of margaritas. He is absolutely my best friend and the greatest person I know, and I still don't know how to thank him for literally saving my life. And then finding out we were pregnant turned out to be the big sign I needed that I was doing the right thing. It's been sunshine and roses ever since then! We waited until DS was 1 to get married. I'm still just so insanely grateful that he's in my life.