Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
spartan4life
member
Re: Breastfeeding Discussion Tips and Tricks
- Biggest tip: Find out if your hospital has a lactation consultant available, or find one before your birth so that if you have any questions, problems or doubts, then you know exactly where to go, no wasting time trying to figure out a strategy. I was connected to the Leche League and they have volunteer certified lactaction consultants and I wish I had gone to a meeting before my DS´s birth. There may be other volunteer groups in your area, I highly recommend connecting with one before your delivery. Most consultants and groups have virtual consultations or groups so they´re very accesible.
My plan for this pregnancy is tandem feeding and I´ve already received help from the LdL consultant and she was wonderful. Sore breasts from pregnancy and teething toddlers is difficult for breastfeeding, but I think we´ve past the hard section, hopefully. Best biting advice: Stop feeding and give them something to chew on and then continue when you are both ready. Better yet, if they are teething, let them chew on something more a little bit before feedings and have the object close by in case they start biting.
- Other advice: Find out if your have abnormal nipples, before you give birth, even if you think they´re normal. That way, if you have a type that needs extra information for success, then you can do your research, prep your nipples and figure out strategies to try based on your nipple type.
- Hamburger: Hold your breast like a hamburger and place it in your babies mouth as completely as possible. Suction is important for a baby to eat. They don´t just feed from the nipple, you need to get part or all of the aereola in. Hence the hamburger.
kellymom.com was always a great resource, even for tips on more complicated things things like how to nurse through a stomach virus, I referred to that website quite often.
And if you want to know how much milk your are making, don´t worry, like @ckmb_1250 said. Many worried moms take out a pump and judge their output based on the ounces they pump, please don't, judge it based on poopy and wet diapers.
Make sure you have a comfortable place to nurse, and bring baby to you. Don’t lean over or sit awkwardly. I love my boppy pillow, but regular pillows or couch pillows work also.
Has anyone used the My Brest Friend pillow? I have read great things and I did try it once at the pedi when DS was about 4 days old so I'm thinking I might get one. I do have a boppy as well but didnt use it for anything last time other than sitting DS up.
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
Disclaimer: if you plan to feed an older baby they sometimes like to switch back and forth multiple times during a feeding. But by then they can latch on their own and even take out the side they want.
(FWIW the hakaa did jack for me. I would leak less than 1mL while baby nursed on the other side. But everyone's boobs are different and mine were on the stingy side.)
Actuality he was just a new born baby. I had really bad PPA with him and it attributed to me not trusting myself.
They also now make a haakaa Gen 3 where the top screws off and you can add a nipple or sippy directly to the haakaa. I want it all!