Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
ec1212
member
I'm definitely not qualified to lead this discussion, but I can absolutely kick off the thread so we can stay in touch on these things:
Re: Jan Check-In: Unmedicated / Low-Intervention Birth
The "Miles Circuit" (third bullet) is how she works with clients whose babies are breech or otherwise not ideally-positioned.
Double hip squeeze is something she wants DH to practice so they can alternate or work together on doing that for me if it winds up being something I find helpful.
- Labor positions: https://www.babycentre.co.uk/l25025610/16-birthing-positions-for-labour-images
- Labor positions in hospital: https://www.lamaze.org/Giving-Birth-with-Confidence/GBWC-Post/how-to-use-a-hospital-bed-in-labor-and-birth
- Miles Circuit: http://www.milescircuit.com
- Double Hip Squeeze: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3H1e_1bBMc
My questions: Has anyone done the Hypnobabies virtual course? I'm reading Hypnobirthing now, and given that I already have a meditation practice to call on, I'm wondering if it's really worth the $$ to also do a course.course & decided against it. Although I did find a hypnobirthing teacher who will do a 2.5 hour “refresher course” for me so I am going to do that. However in my last pregnancy I read the hypnobirthing book and was able to apply a lot of the ideas, visualizations, relaxation techniques into my regular yoga practice and never did a course, and I was fine . So you may be absolutely fine just reading the book yourself, especially since you have a yoga/meditation practice. Maybe see how you feel once you get through the book? I just started re reading it myself!
I also recently re read Natural Hospital Birth and man it’s so good. I don’t remember appreciating it as much last time but her descriptions of the emotional stages of labor were really accurate for me. And I know I said it before, but one of her main focuses in that book is staying home until you’re like 6-7 cm, and I really felt like staying home late was key for me.
• setting up your birth room (house or hospital) Twinkle lights (for a dim not dark atmosphere), birth affirmation posters. (there are some cute online printables), essential oils, etc.
• using water therapeutically, a bathtub or birthing tub
• yoga ball/peanut ball positions.
I've been really afraid of talking to a doula for fear of sounding too cheap, but my favourite IG account is hosting the doula that posts the most amazing advice and its this Thursday. I'm super excited because they asked for questions and when I posted what I thought were dumb questions she said they were common questions and she'll get to them on the live. And better yet it's very location specific and with a local doula. 😍
Half of the content is "blocked" for sensitive content. 😁 Very interesting posts.
Parts of the book like the authors description of her daughters birth are really anti hospital, and if anyone reads Ina May’s book it is the same way. They also gave birth in like the 60s-70s(?) and it sound like general anesthesia and forceps/episiotomy was forced on literally everyone even if you’re already crowning, so you definitely have to keep that context in mind.
I want to go into labor and birth knowledgeable, but I don't want to show up at the hospital feeling combative and on the defense or suspicious of anything they suggest for me and baby.
ccmrc143 I have a Q for your doula! My used copy of Hypnobirthing comes with a cute CD with the hypnosis tracks. Haha. I'm wondering if she recommends any tracks publicly available on a Spotify or similar? I searched "hypnobirthing" and a lot of stuff comes up but I'm wondering if any of it is official. No pressure to ask just for me, but if it comes up in your training, I'd love to hear her recs! I am going to try to avoid taking a course since I've already invested a lot of time and $ in our doula and self-education.
@ckmb_1250 Exactly, in a lot of the talks I've been to or advice I've been given, this has been repeated. The most important thing to do to ensure your birth goes the way you want it to is to find a doctor who believes in that method. Not a doctor who said, sure I can do that. But one who can tell you often he does it or the last time he assisted a mother who had that kind of birth.
The real reason why I want a doula is because I don't think I can find doctors at the public hospital willing to support me and I'm afraid to go against the doctors. So thdefinitely e doula can help me labour at home in a relaxed environment and then I'm on my own in the hospital hopefully at least 8-10 cm dilated.
(I'm definitely going to do a cost analysis comparing our spending on my DSs birth vs this birth. We're definitely spending less on doctors appointments and ultrasounds, less than the copago I think)