I wouldn't typically bring this up now, but since there are so few of us, I figure we can at least start talking about it. When do we think we want to move platforms? Facebook is the obvious choice, but I'm up for other options if anyone has any suggestions.
The way we did it in our last bump group:
1. Voted for FB Admins 2. Members would send a private message to one of the FB Admins with their email address and a picture of themselves holding up a piece of paper with assigned word written on it showing their face and their bump. 3. The FB admin would friend them on FB and invite them to the FB group. 4. If a members participation/identity was called into question, the FB admins would discuss.
Normally I would say it's too early, but given how slow things are, maybe it would be easier if we were on an easier to use platform. I'm really on the fence about it....
That process sounds very similar to how my BMB did it. Just one thing... FB does not require you to be friend with someone to add them to a group. You can also do it by using their email. Not sure if that would make people more or less comfortable, but that's how my last BMB did it, so it wasn't awkward if you didn't want to be friends with the admin.
Also, for the people whose participation was so/so the admins created a poll in the FB group that was then deleted before they were invited in. So all the members could discuss whether they would be comfortable with that person in the group.
I'd like for us to move to Facebook eventually. Perhaps we could create the group and slowly start joining sometime in February?
The Facebook group could be set to private (unsearchable) and by invite only. The established group would be approved, based off of initial screening requirements we could agree on. Admins should indeed be selected.
Some examples of eligibility:
We must be able to find an introduction post on our May 2021 BMB.
You must be an active member of our community. (I I don't think there would be *specific* minimum participation requirement, but we could be checking for activity. As long as you have participated in group discussions or check-ins, with some regularity, I consider you active.)
We could close our board permanently by April 30, 2021. Any requests made to join after that date would be denied. 🤷♀️
@mrosek91 I think what you just mentioned my actually be what we did, now that I think of it! I think I was thinking about my previous bmb having to be added as a friend, but now I remember just entering emails. Also, I think you're right about the poll thing on FB, too. I think we did this as well! I'm glad you have a better memory than I do! lol
I might be the lone holdout here because I loathe FB. I rarely use it...I’m on there 3-4 times a year (usually in Nov and Dec for my birthday messages and holidays). I have been dreading this moment
I have been trying to think alternatives because I really don’t want to lose you all but I just can’t think of another platform that is as accessible that everyone always uses. I think Slack could be great, but there’s a learning curve there for folks who don’t already use it. I can research other online forums but I’m not on any other message boards so I dont know a lot of software or sites for this rn.
ETA: I hate FB because I know too much about how they work, since I work in adtech. They can use any and everything I share there for ad targeting despite what I opt out of and they have an abysmal track record for respecting user privacy in general.
I unfortunately don’t really use Facebook much! 😢 many many moons ago when baby bump was first s thing (talking 10 years ago) we did that with a group and my goodness, it ended up being drama GALORE! Lol. I think I am still mentally scarred from that whole situation 🤣
My biggest issue is that if we stay here, I feel like our relationships will always stay surface level. I'm in two other bump groups and feel so fortunate because I know for a fact I've made life long friends. Even my kids have friends from my groups! I just feel like that's so amazing!
@texas_t it might just be that I did it more recently than you. Also, the move to FB was really big for me.... @ec1212 I actually created a FB account just to move with my previous BMB. I had resisted making an account for over 10 years, and then I couldn't stand the thought of loosing touch with all those woman. After that I became way to addicted to FB, and was really active in that group. It blew up in October when half the group accused the other half of being racist. It was really ugly, and I am now part of a much smaller spin-off group, and no where near as active. It makes me really nervous for our move. But unfortunately it really is just a much easier to use platform, and one that it easy for almost everyone.
Like @ec1212 I’m really not a fan of Facebook for many reasons, but especially because of how they work. I deleted my Facebook account 3 or 4 years ago and don’t regret it. So if you guys do choose to move to Facebook, I won’t be on there. But I understand your want for a not so public platform.
I am a big fan of Reddit, and I know you can create private subs on there. But I would have to look it up because I’ve only been active on there for a year or so. I do believe Reddit is a safer place regarding privacy. But I don’t know how many people use it within this group. It’s relatively easy, but I know many people prefer to organize groups through FB.
I'm ok with whatever you guys think works best! I use facebook pretty regularly (not so much for posting, more so just scrolling through my feed). Not super familiar with how reddit works but I would try it out if that's the best option for everyone else. Just anything more user friendly than the bump app please 🤣
I'm open to FB. I use it mostly for my other BMB and we are a pretty close group. There is very very little drama. Some of the girls on there even created private FB groups that they only use for our group and I don't think they even use their real full names so maybe that is an option for some of you? I'm more comfortable sharing on a closed private FB group.
That said, I don't think we moved to FB until the babies started to be born which was a little early for us because we had two 26 weekers.
I’m trying to figure out how to make a private subreddit on Reddit. I managed to create a community, but I think I need to add users before I can make it private. Right now I only have the option of public.
If you have a Reddit account, look up May21bumps and join? This is more of a test run to see if I can make it work.
I am much more active in my other BMB group on facebook. I am so bad about getting on the bump more than once a day. I would be open to other easy to use apps as well.
Since becoming a parent I almost solely use Facebook for the private parenting groups 😂 at first it freaked me out and I was always worried my friends could read the comments I post in these groups but eventually trusted it. So I’m fine with Facebook.
I agree that the ad targeting is concerning but one way or another the internet is going to figure out I had a baby and begin the onslaught of sleep training etc ads to try to make me feel like shit 🙄🤷🏻♀️
I know FB is popular. But @mrosek91 just helped out and I created a private subreddit. Reddit is available as an app, it’s pretty easy, not nearly as many ads as FB. You can create a Reddit account, private message me your user name, and I can add you to May21bumps if you want to try it.
Also, on another note, in my past experience, about a month before babies are born is amazing for moving. Sometimes the transition to figure out who is who is hard, but for me, once the babies come I can relate “xyz is so and so mom and (bump name)” . It’s WAY harder to move after the babies are born 😂😂
I’ll set up on Reddit and send a request in a bit here!! Even if I did join a FB group, I would only log in on desktop cause I don’t have the app on my phone, and no one would be able to PM me because I refuse to use Messenger. Hoping Reddit can work!
This is my first time, and I can see how transitioning platforms just before babies start arriving makes sense because I’ll be less interested in the daily facts and other things the bump app provides. I would happily join a group on either FB or Reddit. I do worry I’d become less open on FB because I share similar privacy concerns as others, and currently on FB I’m more of a lurker in groups than anything else because of that. But I do know I want to stay in touch with you all as we continue our journeys, so I’ll do whatever feels best for the group!
I am okay with facebook. 8 am unfamiliar with reddit but this past years have learned many new education platforms so learning a new social one shouldn't be too hard. After the bumps glitchy ness last week I am over this app.
My other bump board started the great migration over to Facebook before the due date month but it wasn’t complete until after. I moved later than most and it was definitely after my baby was born. She was the first in the group though. I think they required you to post a pic with a sign, the date and your bump name. I never posted a pic of my bump last time because I never looked pregnant. I only posted one here because someone felt uncomfortable with not looking very pregnant yet. As an overweight mom I’m not incredibly comfortable sharing a pic of my gut, just my opinion. They also did the poll for approval before anyone joined. I’m still close to the women in that group. We’ve had annual get togethers and I’ve been to one and met many of those ladies and it was a great experience. I certainly consider them long term friends. Since I’m already active on Facebook I’m ok with that, but I’m not opposed to Reddit or another platform that more people are comfortable. I have a Reddit, but don’t use it very often and am new to it.
I’m good to move whenever honestly. I think last time we moved over right before or right after babies started being born. I prefer facebook because I already use it for my J18 mom group and have become Facebook friends with most of the moms there and it’s been a great way to keep up with each other. I wouldn’t be opposed to Reddit, I just don’t like the format as much.
I'm for either FB or Reddit, although I know nothing about redditt and trying to add another app on my phone will take me forever to find space.
I have never heard of Signal, but if its like Telegram its one more app I don't have space for on my phone. As much as I like Whatsapp, these app styles don't really seem to be as flexible with threads as Facebook and I assume Reddit.
As to moving, I've gotten used to how this site works, so joining the Reddit now for fun and moving in April/May sounds like a good idea. But it will definitely take me a while to get over to the reddit, I'm not in a rush and a little overwhelmed by social media right now.
So my initial reaction to reddit is that it might work, but I miss the ability to react to things. I'll continue to poke around other subs and see if I can get used to the format.
As for timing, where ever we end up moving, I think after the babies come is pretty late. It does take time to remember who is who, and connect real names to FB names, and that would probably be hard when also in the newborn fog.
For those who say they have facebook but don't really use it. I use the desktop and the mobile site (not the app) and there is a way to bookmark a group, so you can go straight to that group, and skip your main feed... If that's something that may make FB more attractive.
I'm kinda shocked that people would duck out of the group if we went to facebook. I agree with @mrosek91 about everything she posted above. My biggest hesitation about reddit is that it still feels so anonymous to me, like here. The reason I like facebook is because, when you feel comfortable, you can actually become friends with real live people and feel like friends.
@texas_t I agree with that. I feel like on Facebook I share a bit more and people seeing me for 1+ years on Facebook is what made me comfortable enough to to meet irl and share my phone number etc. the more anonymous I likely won’t get there. At least not as quickly.
TTC #1 since August 2015 BFP #1 January 28, 2016
EDD October 3, 2016 Felicity Joy, born September 2, 2016 My Chart
TTC #2 Since August 2020 BFP #2 September 11, 2020 EDD May 23, 2021
I totally get the Facebook thing. I have just recently moved away from social media because I’m not comfortable with, agree or support the invasion of privacy. Not just ads, but access to camera... etc. instagrams new privacy policy, eek! I know they’ve been doing it for awhile they are just actually saying what they are doing now. But I won’t get behind it 🤷🏼♀️ I guess I’m a weirdo lol.
@texas_t those are my feelings, too. I mean, if the consensus is Reddit then I'll make the move but Facebook just feels so much more personal which is what I like about it for the purpose of this group.
Re: Thoughts about our future? (Moving platforms)
That process sounds very similar to how my BMB did it. Just one thing... FB does not require you to be friend with someone to add them to a group. You can also do it by using their email. Not sure if that would make people more or less comfortable, but that's how my last BMB did it, so it wasn't awkward if you didn't want to be friends with the admin.
Also, for the people whose participation was so/so the admins created a poll in the FB group that was then deleted before they were invited in. So all the members could discuss whether they would be comfortable with that person in the group.
The Facebook group could be set to private (unsearchable) and by invite only. The established group would be approved, based off of initial screening requirements we could agree on. Admins should indeed be selected.
Some examples of eligibility:
We could close our board permanently by April 30, 2021. Any requests made to join after that date would be denied. 🤷♀️
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
@ec1212
@littlelibelula
@mkc3888
@spartan4life
@gusgus14
@ckmb_1250
@yellingbanana
@brynn_mamaof4
@asf0613
@ruby0902
@queen_frostine
@nsk489
@caroduke
@lilnessi
@dlynn484
@Liz101015
@ccmrc143
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
I have been trying to think alternatives because I really don’t want to lose you all but I just can’t think of another platform that is as accessible that everyone always uses. I think Slack could be great, but there’s a learning curve there for folks who don’t already use it. I can research other online forums but I’m not on any other message boards so I dont know a lot of software or sites for this rn.
ETA: I hate FB because I know too much about how they work, since I work in adtech. They can use any and everything I share there for ad targeting despite what I opt out of and they have an abysmal track record for respecting user privacy in general.
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
@ec1212 I actually created a FB account just to move with my previous BMB. I had resisted making an account for over 10 years, and then I couldn't stand the thought of loosing touch with all those woman. After that I became way to addicted to FB, and was really active in that group. It blew up in October when half the group accused the other half of being racist. It was really ugly, and I am now part of a much smaller spin-off group, and no where near as active. It makes me really nervous for our move. But unfortunately it really is just a much easier to use platform, and one that it easy for almost everyone.
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
That said, I don't think we moved to FB until the babies started to be born which was a little early for us because we had two 26 weekers.
BFP #1 January 28, 2016
Felicity Joy, born September 2, 2016
My Chart
BFP #2 September 11, 2020
EDD May 23, 2021
teaching
nanny
specialed
parentinginbulk
mommit
awww
campingandhiking
coronavirusUS
coronavirusWA
Biology
dataisbeautiful
Education
gardening
lifeprotips
Lifehacks
Science
and more!!!
to Reddit, I just don’t like the format as much.
I have never heard of Signal, but if its like Telegram its one more app I don't have space for on my phone. As much as I like Whatsapp, these app styles don't really seem to be as flexible with threads as Facebook and I assume Reddit.
As to moving, I've gotten used to how this site works, so joining the Reddit now for fun and moving in April/May sounds like a good idea. But it will definitely take me a while to get over to the reddit, I'm not in a rush and a little overwhelmed by social media right now.
BFP #1 January 28, 2016
Felicity Joy, born September 2, 2016
My Chart
BFP #2 September 11, 2020
EDD May 23, 2021
As for timing, where ever we end up moving, I think after the babies come is pretty late. It does take time to remember who is who, and connect real names to FB names, and that would probably be hard when also in the newborn fog.
For those who say they have facebook but don't really use it. I use the desktop and the mobile site (not the app) and there is a way to bookmark a group, so you can go straight to that group, and skip your main feed... If that's something that may make FB more attractive.
BFP #1 January 28, 2016
Felicity Joy, born September 2, 2016
My Chart
BFP #2 September 11, 2020
EDD May 23, 2021
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
BFP #1 January 28, 2016
Felicity Joy, born September 2, 2016
My Chart
BFP #2 September 11, 2020
EDD May 23, 2021
BFP #1 January 28, 2016
Felicity Joy, born September 2, 2016
My Chart
BFP #2 September 11, 2020
EDD May 23, 2021
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
I 100% agree
BFP #1 January 28, 2016
Felicity Joy, born September 2, 2016
My Chart
BFP #2 September 11, 2020
EDD May 23, 2021