Pray for DH- before he went to the grocery store today I added the bagels I've been craving to our grocery list, put stars next to it, verbally asked him to get them, and then texted a reminder when he was there.... And he forgot them 😤
Also did anyone make any fun NY resolutions?? Mine were about being active/spending time outside and I have some fun coloring sheets to keep me motivated bc I'm 5 😂
@_orchid_ 😂 I’m trying to keep mine basic. Brush my teeth before 10am. For Rosh Hashanah, I wanted to read weekly and have been pretty consistent, for a change.
AFM - are there any ways to make Zoom baby showers suck less? They drive me batty. I feel like I’m in class getting put on the spot to say something nice.
@mc0303@MelissaMay82 I love the reading resolutions! I had started listening to One by One last month, but it was due back at the library before I finished so I'm back on hold. I loved In a Dark, Dark Wood by her. I just finished Verity and started My Dear Hamilton.
@mc0303 I haven't been to any showers on zoom- I can imagine how awkward it would be!! Do people open the gifts on camera? 😳 That would be my worst nightmare
@_orchid_ hahah sounds like Daddy brain is maybe a thing?? I love the resolutions to read more. I told myself I would have less screen time, but I'm currently shopping on my laptop while watching tv 🤷🏻♀️ Another thing is decorating. After being stuck at home for 9 months, I’d like to make the house more visually appealing. The nursery room will be my ultimate test.
@mc0303 the sheer thought of opening presents on a zoom call makes me want to forfeit the whole idea lol
@_orchid_ oh my gosh, this morning was like my 4th one. There have been slideshows and you have to send photos or memories or advice. It’s just all too much. Maybe I just need better friends 😂
@_orchid_ oh lord have mercy on your husband's soul 😆🤣 I would have been angry 😡
I need to vent! My dad is pissing me off tonight. I told him on Christmas day that I was pregnant and he's been super excited which is fine but tonight he's been all over a name for the baby and asked what it was and I said I didn't know or have one yet and he keeps calling the baby louie as a joke which I HATE! So asked him if he could please stop calling it that. He's like its not an IT! You have to name your baby something. Im like duh, ya I know dad and I will but that's between me and DH and we will when we're ready too. Hes mad at me cause I said you do know that even if we name the baby tomorrow we're still not telling anyone untill the baby is born. He's like whattt? Your weird! I don't know anyone who does that!! Who does that?? I'm like yes they do. Tons of people wait and keep it a secret. Hes like No they dont. It's weird and why not tell people blah blah. So now im annoyed and aggravated. Im insulated he called me weird.. like wtf dude?? Its my choice if I dont want to tell people the baby's name and that's what me and DH have decided so butt out!! Like you don't need to insult me cause I made that choice. He just doesn't understand. Like is it sooo bad and strange to want to keep it hush hush until the baby gets here?? I dont want to hear people's comments or 2 cents about the name if they dont like it and try to convince me to change it to something else. Sorry rant over 😆
@mindyb2019 I’m sorry your dad acted that way and said those things. With my first I was very annoyed with how people think when you’re pregnant everything is fair game. Suddenly they think they get an opinion about things and that your body now belongs to the world. I was not nice a couple of time because those things really bother me. This time I feel like my last pregnancy set the ground rules and people aren’t as pushy. Stand up for yourself and what you and your H and comfortable with. No matter what you say or do someone is going to be upset, but ultimately it’s about making sure you and your H are happy with your pregnancy journey not everyone else.
I went a bit overboard and have 27 goals for this year. 😬 I added goals I know will not be achieved but if I start them I know I can achieve them eventually. Some goals I put down to see if they are something I truly want to pursue. I figured if I have had an idea in my head for awhile I should do it. This way I can figure out to let the idea go. I hope for a success rate of about 80% because 100% means they were too easy.
@_orchid_ wow I will be thinking of your H and hope to not see you on the news. 🤣
@mindyb2019 oh gosh, family is so fun and everyone has an opinion (insert as mush sarcasm as you can handle). Sorry you are dealing with it. We also chose not to tell anyone the names we chose with our first because I didn't want the opinions.
@mc0303 those zoom baby showers sound like torture.
@mindyb2019 oh geez. For your sanity I would say he really just doesn't understand so try and let it go and vent here with us. Maybe let him call the baby louie even though it's annoying. Unless you really want to hear opinions, don't share your names. Just don't.
My resolution is also reading related. I am going to try and commit to not buying any new books in 2021. I have 30 on my shelf that are waiting to be read. I decided I can receive them as gifts, borrow from friends, take things out from the library, and maybe make an exception on independent bookstore day to support my favorite bookstores but otherwise no new books.
History and blog link in spoiler
2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks May 2020 FET; BFN July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate Oct 2020 BFP!
My cat's lost a lot of weight recently, mostly because she just stopped eating dry food (which has been the bulk of her diet her entire life), though we're still waiting on some test results to see if something else is going on. She still seems to like wet food, so we're transitioning her to that. She's ecstatic, but my house now constantly smells like stinky cat food....which is the one smell I can't tolerate at all during pregnancy. I need more scented candles.
@mindyb2019 Ugh, I'm sorry. I've never known a baby's name until it's been born, it seems to be standard practice around here (often they won't even share the gender, even if they know). I thought it was actually conventional wisdom to not share the name, as invariably there will be comments.
@mc0303 I'm with you on Zoom baby showers. I may ask to skip it entirely and just do a party after the baby shows up (which also calms PGAL anxiety). A Zoom shower is basically the exact parts of the shower I hate (awkward, center of attention), without the good parts (catching up with family and friends). I know we can chit chat on Zoom, but then there's an audience rather than just the one-on-one conversation I'd prefer.
Baby showers are the worst normally so a zoom one sounds even worse.
Ugh as I suspected (even though I asked them if it was cancelled), my ultrasound is cancelled for tomorrow as were in lockdown. But I still have a midwife Appt. Doesn’t make sense as I’m still going there but whatever.
@wendy838 this is just DH brain which is why I went overboard with reminders. He is a bagel snob- we live right outside nyc so he would never dream of getting Thomas bagels from the store. I think he blocked it from his mind bc of that lol.
@mindyb2019 I'm sorry your dad was like that. Our families can be like that too. We haven't shared the sex with them yet (we want our boys to share it- it seems unfair that everyone else in the family knows I'm pregnant and they don't, so we want them to be the first to find out the sex) and it's driving MIL nuts. Before DS1 was born we just made up a list of 10 names (and intentionally put some clunkers on there we knew our families would hate) and said those were the names we were deciding between, but that we wouldn't decide until baby was born. In reality we had narrowed it down to 2. It kept our families from bugging us too much and they loved the name we did pick (I think they were relieved we didn't pick the "clunkers").
@tilournextadventure I typically only pick 2-3 goals per year, but when I was 33 I made a "40 before 40" list of goals. Some were big (run a half marathon, finish a big education goal, see a volcano) and others were small (buy new bras (🤣), read 1 adult (not children's) chapter book a year, and perfect a baking dish). It's been fun to work on and whatever I don't accomplish I'm going to push over to my "50 before 50" list.
@akoros we've switched my cat back and forth from dry/wet and she always loses from dry->wet bc she drinks so much less water. Gains the other way. We've had to permanently switch her to a wet prescription food and it's been a struggle to keep her from losing too much weight (she hates the food and too much of it makes her sick). GL and I hope there's nothing else going on!
A few of my New Years resolutions are to finally complete the global entry applications for my first 2 kids and get new baby a passport and global entry. The global entry resolution has been a goal the last 2 years 😅 The kids only need their interviews, though, so we can do those once I get the baby’s application done. I also want to get specific bath towels and hand towels for each bathroom.
Also, I want to toot my own horn. I counted up all the books I read in 2020 and I read 52 books. Half of those were a murder cop lite romance series by a pseudonym of Nora Roberts so I’m not reading a lot of *literature* but as a mom of 2, I’m pretty proud of that.
On the topic of names, something that I've always thought is weird is "calling" a name. One of my BILs was obsessed with a boy's name, and when another BIL and his wife were considering names they talked about that one. BIL#1 was not even in a relationship and threw a fit about it, so they didn't use it. His eventual wife was the same way about a girl's name, to the point she let me know the 2nd time I met her (before either one of us was engaged to our DHs or near being pregnant) that that was HER name "just in case". They are a match made in heaven LOL.
@_orchid_ Agree, "calling" a name is super weird (particularly when you're nowhere near having a kid). I can see in passing saying "I've always liked X for a girl/boy," but you in no way "own" that name. WRT cats, I'm hoping just the fact that she's actually eating now makes her gain some weight! I was trying to add water and salmon oil to her dry food, which she's liked in the past, but now that she knows wet food is on offer totally snubbed it.
@mindyb2019 vent away! your dad is a prime example of why people don't want to have the name discussion haha it's not weird at all - lots of people, including my best friend, don't share the name until the baby is born. I think when people start asking, I'll say "we don't know yet" because apparently it's an easier pill for people to swallow than "we don't want to share"
@akoros ohh I missed that she stopped eating the dry food on her own. Anything going on with her teeth? My cat had a bunch of teeth pulled last year and was weird about eating anything hard for a few months before that. If you add water to the dry food to soften it will she eat it? EDIT: Just read that you already tried adding water. Omg pregnancy brain. Nm that LOL
Agree with liking names in passing. There have been so many names that I love but then fall out of love with, so I just don't understand holding on to a name like that for 10+ years. I'm sure some of it is colored by my TTC journey as well- they ended up with two easy pregnancies, first month trying both times, and got a boy and a girl so got to use both names. Ha when we started trying for each pregnancy I couldn't even guess the YEAR we'd have kids in, let alone picking their names. I might be a bit bitter 😂
@_orchid_ Vet said her teeth were fine, that was my initial thought (and, frankly, hope as that seemed less scary than other ailments). I may try mixing some dry with the wet food to see what happens, and I have a huge bottle of salmon oil to add. Anything to get her some more calories!
@mindyb2019 Sorry for the family drama - it’s the worst! Our families like to throw out suggestions, too. We didn’t tell them DS’s name (or even the contenders) and we didn’t know the sex until after he was born. This time around, DH is telling them they’re welcome to add names to the pool - it’s $50 per name, payable directly to baby’s college fund 😂 It’s shut them down pretty quick but in a nice/jokey way
@mindyb2019 +1 for weird then! We kept the name a secret for DS until he was born, and we are doing the same with this one. TBH we fib a little and usually tell people we have it narrowed down to a short list. People don't seem to push as much if they know you are still deciding. We chose not to have people sharing opinions on a name. I don't want to hear about the guy you went to school with wo had that name that was a bully and you hated.
~~Signature~~
Me: 36, DH: 38, Together since: 2006, Married: 9/2011 **TW Living Child**
My sister shared her baby’s name already and everyone expects the same from me now. I flat told them I won’t name the baby until I see his face.. unfortunately hasn’t stopped anyone from suggesting names. It only pissed me off a little when MIL suggested one that was on our list. I’m petty enough to not name him that now lol 😂
I’m digging @halfanewt college fund deal. I’m going to try it lol!
When I was pregnant with DS we picked a name and my mom suspected we had one and hounded me incessantly about it insisting that I didn’t have to tell anyone else but that she deserved to know. Uh no, no you don’t.
@Omie_Wise kudos to you for reading 52 books last year! Don’t discount Nora Roberts because I only read about 3 books and they were all written by her haha I need to add reading to my resolution list.
I really don’t have much random for me. I started a new job a few weeks ago and this is my first week on my own. I will probably be stressed/nervous about everything for awhile.
Would anyone be interested in having a monthly "What I Am Reading" post? It seems like a lot of us have reading goals and it might be fun to see what others are reading.
Thanks @_orchid_ and @dogmom5. She has chronic renal disease, unfortunately. Going to switch her to a new prescription diet and go back to the vet in March for some follow-up labs. Hopefully diet (and maybe medication) will help slow it down and make her comfortable...
@_orchid_ Definitely. We had a post a while back but we should start a new one every few weeks or so.
History and blog link in spoiler
2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks May 2020 FET; BFN July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate Oct 2020 BFP!
@akoros I'm sorry about your cat. I hope diet helps. My cat is on prescription kidney food too, and her kidney levels have improved. The trickiest part for us is that too much of the food gives her diarrhea, so we balance it with regular wet food. Good luck!
@akoros sorry your kitty isn’t doing well. I hope the new food helps. We do prescription urinary tract food for our cats and they are on bottled water. Our well water causes UTIs in two of our cats if they drink too much of it.
@_orchid_ Yeah, unfortunately wet food in general gives her diarrhea, but it's also the only food she'll eat. We're hoping that eventually it'll stop as her stomach gets used to the new food, but at least she's eating. What kind of food do you use? I'm going shopping for some to give her and see how it goes.
@akoros so sorry about your kitty! Hope the new diet helps her. Is she an older cat? My cat’s almost 7 so I’m trying to monitor her closely to see if she has any changes in her appetite or behaviours.
Calling names and constantly trying to find out what the baby’s name will be is annoying. We’ve found being team green has really kept that game under control because we can just say, “well we don’t know what we are having”. DH’s cousin announced the name of her first and her grandmother wrote her a letter telling her it was an awful name 😳 Cousin did not change the baby’s name.
@a@akoros I use to have an elderly dog that we kept comfortable. Sending you love as you figure out how to help.
mindyb2019
member
Re: Weekly Randoms - Week of 01/03
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
@mc0303 I haven't been to any showers on zoom- I can imagine how awkward it would be!! Do people open the gifts on camera? 😳 That would be my worst nightmare
I love the resolutions to read more. I told myself I would have less screen time, but I'm currently shopping on my laptop while watching tv 🤷🏻♀️ Another thing is decorating. After being stuck at home for 9 months, I’d like to make the house more visually appealing. The nursery room will be my ultimate test.
I need to vent! My dad is pissing me off tonight. I told him on Christmas day that I was pregnant and he's been super excited which is fine but tonight he's been all over a name for the baby and asked what it was and I said I didn't know or have one yet and he keeps calling the baby louie as a joke which I HATE! So asked him if he could please stop calling it that. He's like its not an IT! You have to name your baby something. Im like duh, ya I know dad and I will but that's between me and DH and we will when we're ready too. Hes mad at me cause I said you do know that even if we name the baby tomorrow we're still not telling anyone untill the baby is born. He's like whattt? Your weird! I don't know anyone who does that!! Who does that?? I'm like yes they do. Tons of people wait and keep it a secret. Hes like No they dont. It's weird and why not tell people blah blah. So now im annoyed and aggravated. Im insulated he called me weird.. like wtf dude?? Its my choice if I dont want to tell people the baby's name and that's what me and DH have decided so butt out!! Like you don't need to insult me cause I made that choice. He just doesn't understand. Like is it sooo bad and strange to want to keep it hush hush until the baby gets here?? I dont want to hear people's comments or 2 cents about the name if they dont like it and try to convince me to change it to something else. Sorry rant over 😆
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
@_orchid_ wow I will be thinking of your H and hope to not see you on the news. 🤣
@mindyb2019 oh gosh, family is so fun and everyone has an opinion (insert as mush sarcasm as you can handle). Sorry you are dealing with it. We also chose not to tell anyone the names we chose with our first because I didn't want the opinions.
@mc0303 those zoom baby showers sound like torture.
My resolution is also reading related. I am going to try and commit to not buying any new books in 2021. I have 30 on my shelf that are waiting to be read. I decided I can receive them as gifts, borrow from friends, take things out from the library, and maybe make an exception on independent bookstore day to support my favorite bookstores but otherwise no new books.
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
@mindyb2019 Ugh, I'm sorry. I've never known a baby's name until it's been born, it seems to be standard practice around here (often they won't even share the gender, even if they know). I thought it was actually conventional wisdom to not share the name, as invariably there will be comments.
@mc0303 I'm with you on Zoom baby showers. I may ask to skip it entirely and just do a party after the baby shows up (which also calms PGAL anxiety). A Zoom shower is basically the exact parts of the shower I hate (awkward, center of attention), without the good parts (catching up with family and friends). I know we can chit chat on Zoom, but then there's an audience rather than just the one-on-one conversation I'd prefer.
*Live, Love, Laugh, Learn*
@mindyb2019 I'm sorry your dad was like that. Our families can be like that too. We haven't shared the sex with them yet (we want our boys to share it- it seems unfair that everyone else in the family knows I'm pregnant and they don't, so we want them to be the first to find out the sex) and it's driving MIL nuts. Before DS1 was born we just made up a list of 10 names (and intentionally put some clunkers on there we knew our families would hate) and said those were the names we were deciding between, but that we wouldn't decide until baby was born. In reality we had narrowed it down to 2. It kept our families from bugging us too much and they loved the name we did pick (I think they were relieved we didn't pick the "clunkers").
@tilournextadventure I typically only pick 2-3 goals per year, but when I was 33 I made a "40 before 40" list of goals. Some were big (run a half marathon, finish a big education goal, see a volcano) and others were small (buy new bras (🤣), read 1 adult (not children's) chapter book a year, and perfect a baking dish). It's been fun to work on and whatever I don't accomplish I'm going to push over to my "50 before 50" list.
@akoros we've switched my cat back and forth from dry/wet and she always loses from dry->wet bc she drinks so much less water. Gains the other way. We've had to permanently switch her to a wet prescription food and it's been a struggle to keep her from losing too much weight (she hates the food and too much of it makes her sick). GL and I hope there's nothing else going on!
Also, I want to toot my own horn. I counted up all the books I read in 2020 and I read 52 books. Half
of those were a murder cop lite romance series by a pseudonym of Nora Roberts so I’m not reading a lot of *literature* but as a mom of 2, I’m pretty proud of that.
Agree with liking names in passing. There have been so many names that I love but then fall out of love with, so I just don't understand holding on to a name like that for 10+ years. I'm sure some of it is colored by my TTC journey as well- they ended up with two easy pregnancies, first month trying both times, and got a boy and a girl so got to use both names. Ha when we started trying for each pregnancy I couldn't even guess the YEAR we'd have kids in, let alone picking their names. I might be a bit bitter 😂
**TW Living Child**
BFP 2/2014 - DS - 10/2014
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
I’m digging @halfanewt college fund deal. I’m going to try it lol!
@mindyb2019 that’s annoying how your dad is being. I would be irritated as well.
I really don’t have much random for me. I started a new job a few weeks ago and this is my first week on my own. I will probably be stressed/nervous about everything for awhile.
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
**TW Living Child**
BFP 2/2014 - DS - 10/2014
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21