TTCAL w/o 12/28

fitzfizz · December 2020

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage, selective termination due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Questions?

GTKY: What are you most looking forward to in 2021? Anything you are hoping to be different?

fitzfizz · December 2020

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. TFMR at 22 weeks June 2020 for what is now known to be a genetic condition with a 2-5% chance of recurrence, CP Nov 2020 that is unlikely to be related but unknown if it was due to the same reason.

Status: WTO and unbenched

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Feeling very optimistic about the start of a new cycle. I’ve still got the fear in the back of my mind about having another loss, but at this point I feel like things couldn’t get worse than what already happened so there is nothing to do but keep going.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Finally got the final bill for our testing, not sure why it took so long but at least now it is all paid. All things totaled related to the loss and subsequent testing we are out ~$10k which sucks, but I need to try to be thankful that we could afford to do it rather than being in the dark.

Questions? Nothing today.

GTKY: What are you most looking forward to in 2021? Anything you are hoping to be different? I remember feeling so hopeful this time last year. I had just joined the bump, waiting for my first cycle, and hopeful that everything would go smoothly with no reason to think otherwise. Now I’m 1 year older, bitter and jaded, feeling jealous of every pregnant person, but hopeful that 2021 will be a better year. I’m looking forward to trying again, knowing that I’m most likely immune to COVID pre-pregnancy. I’m hopeful that knowing that will make me less anxious if I do get pregnant.

emeraldcity1214 · December 2020

introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. December 2018 second trimester loss and November 2020 CP

Status: TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? I’m not struggling right now. I am feeling good and I’m very hopeful for this cycle. It’s looking really good.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? The only tests coming up are HPTs around 10DPO. I’m not as antsy to test this cycle. I also feel more relaxed about whether it happens this cycle or not which feels good.

Questions?

GTKY: What are you most looking forward to in 2021? Anything you are hoping to be different? I’m looking forward to getting back to normal. I’m ready for COVID to be just another flu and I’m hoping with the vaccine it won’t even be in the same category as the flu.

bumblebee0210 · December 2020

@fitzfizz glad you're off the bench and feeling good!

introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 2 mmcs, most recently in Sep 2020. Some CPs.

Status: TWW

How are things going? Typical TWW nonsense, SS, etc. Also, like @fitzfizz I'm feeling the milestone of 2020 ending with no baby. We started very lazily NTNP early 2020 and I thought I was being very chill giving myself a year to get pregnant, and here we are approaching 2021...

Any testing coming up/any recent results? nope

Questions? nope

GTKY: What are you most looking forward to in 2021? Anything you are hoping to be different? Some semblance of normalcy? This year has been very hard on my type-A planner brain. I'd like to be able to plan again (does that sound weird?)

emeraldcity1214 · December 2020

@fitzfizz When will you be getting the second dose of the vaccine. Having immunity pre-pregnancy is definitely something that would give lots of peace of mind.

@bumblebee0210 I have always told DH that we should just NTNP for awhile when we decide to TTC and then I go all crazy and can’t help myself. I end up tracking everything.

sienna221 · December 2020

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC and D&C 10/22 at 11w. Another D&C on 12/17 for still unknown whether retained tissue or another unviable pregnancy

Status: WFAF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Feeling ok right now. We got out of town for 2 weeks for the holidays so just being in a different environment and routine has helped.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I’m guessing my lab results from my second D&C are in but I didn’t want to bother with it over the holidays and my doctor hasn’t called either. Figured I’d deal with that after the new year. Really hoping it was retained tissue and not another MC.

Questions? Nothing today. I started bleeding today (~1.5 weeks post D&C). I stopped bleeding day 3 after the D&C so there has been a long gap. I got excited this may be AF but then did the math and realized that really isn’t possible.

GTKY: What are you most looking forward to in 2021? Anything you are hoping to be different? A fresh start mentally and physically!

@fitzfizz That must be such a relief to have that all paid off! My bills weren’t nearly that high but it really just felt so weird and unfair (even though it makes sense you’d still have to pay) to be responsible for all the prenatal care I’d had prior to the MMC. And I get the jaded and bitter. I’m jealous of all of them and it’s a little dagger in the heart every time I see a new announcement. Especially when it’s May 2021 which was my month to be due originally. I hope this O is your time!

@emeraldcity1214 fingers crossed for your BFP this cycle!

@bumblebee0210 I’m also looking forward to planning! And I’m sorry the milestone is hitting us you as well.

emeraldcity1214 · December 2020

@sienna221 I’m sorry your bleeding has been weird. I have had bleeding like that. It goes away and then comes back for a few days and then lingers with spotting for what seems like forever. I hope it stops soon.

fitzfizz · December 2020

@emeraldcity1214 I’m glad you are feeling in a good headspace! I have been thinking a lot about whether I would be willing to test early in the future. I’m thinking I really don’t want to know if I have another chemical, but with the recent one I still would have had a positive on the day of my missed period, so I’m not sure waiting would even help. Re: vaccine, I’m getting the second dose on January 8th, which is about 4-5 days before I will likely ovulate. My main hope at this point is that I don’t ovulate early, because I’m not worried about getting the vaccine in general, but I do have a small fear in the back of my mind that if I get a fever from it it could interfere with ovulation or implantation. Realistically a fever would probably just mess with my chart and make it harder to detect ovulation.

@bumblebee0210 I definitely get you on the wanting to plan! I was talking at work the other day about the fact that I missed planning vacations, and I am apparently the only weirdo who enjoys planning vacations. I get the feeling you do the same thing!

@sienna221 Are they actually sending you the pathology from the D&C so you know whether it was retained tissue or a new pregnancy? I hope the doctor calls because that sounds like it would be hard to read on your own. Regarding the bills, mine were higher than you would think because even when a termination is recommended by your doctors and done for medical reasons, it is still totally out of pocket so that was by far the biggest expense. The genetic testing was also out of pocket and about $2000 in total including testing other relevant family members. Basically everything sucks, then there is a financial kick in the pants to top it off. Regarding feeling jealous, I was showing a friend my wedding scrapbook yesterday and realizing how many of my friends and family are currently pregnant or have small babies made me feel really sad.

sienna221 · December 2020

@fitzfizz my guess is she will go over it with me at my post d&c checkup. Which will be first week of the new year. And one thing that has helped me recently regarding the jealousy...another friend from our group confided in me when that last pregnancy announcement came in, how she feels jealous and like she’s getting left behind because she is still single and hasn’t found her someone yet to marry. So I had to change my mental state a little and think instead of thinking what I don’t have, think what I do already have and lucky to have...and I’ve already found a great husband/partner who I love and have fun with and is supportive. And while we have gone through this sh*tty thing(s) recently with TTC, we still have each other and our general health. I don’t know...may not work for everyone but helped me a little.

emeraldcity1214 · December 2020

@fitzfizz I had a positive until 15DPO which is past my expected AF. I got a negative test the second day I was bleeding. I was hoping that would be the case. So I would have gotten a very faint line. I could try to wait until 18DPO but I’m not sure I have the willpower.

TTCAL w/o 12/28

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