Donor eggs (mention of past pregnancy here)

blessedmama2004 · August 2020

Hello all, I am a returning Member to this group. I was part of this community back in 2017, and I have to say, that group of ladies really got me through.

I am back for some feedback on donor eggs.

Has anyone here Ever gone down this road? I am 35 years old, very poor ovarian reserve. Miraculously got pregnant with my daughter through IVF with my own egg. Truly a miracle. Fast forward, my doctor says it may not be possible to make that happen again. My endometriosis is horrific and rapidly getting worse. So I am considering donor eggs.

Can anyone shed some light and share their experience? Thank you and I wish everyone well here.

lucyb1954 · August 2020

Hi and welcome! There are actually quite a number of us here using DE. Most of us have been or are currently or on the Low AMH thread and there are quite a few folks who will be doing FETs with DE in the next couple of months. I am happy to talk about my experience - I did a FET using donor eggs in June and am currently 10 weeks. I am a carrier for a genetic condition that can have severe ramifications for children and it causes infertility - double whammy of crap

However, I'm very fortunate that this option was available to me both scientifically and financially. And honestly, I wish I'd done it sooner and not put myself through so much hell with OE. Please do head over to the Low AMH thread and do some searches, we're here!

laurad75 · August 2020

Welcome! I'm a de mom and after all the disappointing treatments I experiments with my own eggs donor egg was a blessing. I now have a 2 year old son thanks to our donor and several frozen embryos. I echo all that @lucyb1954 shared and also encourage you to join us on the low AMH thread. There's also a DE IVF thread that hasn't been active in a while but you might enjoy reading it.

I hope you stick around but if you do please change your username.

keeptrying23 · August 2020

I’m using donor eggs. I got 5 boys and 4 girls out of one cycle. I transferred one August 6th and they stuck. A vast improvement from my eggs. I used a known donor. I don’t regret it and wish I’d done it sooner.

c-town18 · August 2020

knottieb99dfc030062ee7f -*TW* I am a DE mom and currently 8 weeks pregnant with #2. I think it's way more common than any of us realize (I just read that DE now accounts for 5,800 babies born each year). You can see my background in my hidden siggy; there was a lot of heartbreak and trauma that lead us to using DE. I was a case that every RE said could go either way, it wasn't impossible with my OE but after 3 retrievals I had gotten no PGS normals embryos and had suffered two devastating M/Cs and I was done with it. I found a proven donor that we really liked and ended up with 8 PGS normal embryos which is more than we will ever need. I gotta say, for me there was a lot of "what ifs" and regrets (what if I tried one more OE cycle, what if I switch clinics or protocols, why didn't we start trying to have kids sooner, etc.) and those doubts and questions didn't just automatically disappear once my son was born (even though he's perfect and I love him more than life itself), it took time but now I'm totally at peace with the decision and wouldn't have it any other way. I was very nervous about how our families would react to the news but they all took it wonderfully and it didn't make any difference to them which was a relief. The overwhelming recommendation is to be honest with DE kiddos about how they were conceived, and with all the ancestry websites it's very likely that s/he would eventually find out anyway. So we've been talking to our toddler about it in an age appropriate way and will continue to do so. *End TW*

andreamm31 · August 2020

Im currently awaiting to start my second donor egg cycle. My story is in my signature. But Im sharing a cycle with another woman who I actually met on the Bump and we are pretty much like soul sisters because of this group and now we will have children who are half sister. I hear you when you say how this group got you through!
I definitely think its important to take that time to mourn your fertility and connection to your own eggs is really helpful in moving forward. I had to get it out....mope around, ugly girl cry, no showers for days, on disability because I just couldn't get it together. I also made sure I got acupuncture, and reiki, and still did yoga to clear my mind. And I made my way through it and moved forward in a healthy way. Im really excited to know that I will be using a super star embryo that can survive easily and make this journey different for me. I am feeling much more hopeful and excited. I know that I will love my child. Im pretty open with friends, families, and coworkers about what we are doing to start our family. Everyone is along for the ride as Im a pretty open book....but I haven't put it out there yet in Social Media because Im not quite ready to be that public....but all my friends know what Im doing.
I hope you find peace and happiness in whichever route you go. But you really cant go wrong with using a nice, young healthy egg. We are all here for ya!

babyA0728 · October 2020

Hello

I'm not sure how old your post is. I did donor IVF at age 43 (I got married for the first time at 41 and got pregnant 2 months later naturally which was a big surprise but ended in miscarriage). It was followed by 11 months of no success becoming pregnant again. I woke up one day with an epiphany that I did not want to try IVF with my own eggs at my age and I just wanted to be able to carry a baby and experience that whether it was my DNA or not . I also knew I would not be up for trying IVF more than once. My husband was on board but urged me to consider adoption if this failed. I was open to it. We found a great clinic and Dr. in California. They thought I should try my own eggs first but I said no. I only wanted to do this once using younger eggs to reduce my risk and the baby's. Two embryos were implanted. The first had a 75% chance and there was a 25% chance of the second taking although I was hoping to deliver one child as I was scared of how I would manage 2 babies. I had a normal pregnancy all the way through and delivered my baby naturally without drugs with the help of a doula. She is now 6 . She looks nothing like me but I knew that she wouldn't based on her donor's photos and ethnic background. Strange thing is occasionally someone will tell me that she looks like me without them knowing my history. I have enjoyed being a Mom to just one. I think I was meant to have only one child as I did not have the strong desire to experience motherhood until later in life. I know it was the best decision I could have made. I did not choose to go through with using the remaining embryos as I thought I might a year or two later. I donated them anonymously because I did not want to have them destroyed. My donor had already been a donor with other successful stories. The only thing I have not figured out is when I will begin to explain this to my daughter. My husband is adopted so he understands some of the emotional aspects but this is a different situation. My daughter sees me as her mommy and adores me. It has never felt weird in any way but then I have never had a biological child. For me donor IVF was a great choice and I have heard of so many women that struggle emotionally, physically and financially repeating IVF with their own eggs, particularly women in their 40s. I had done enough research that I knew the reality of this. I have the child I wanted and I know some women would never consider donor IVF but you will love that child as if it was your biological child.

blessedmama2004 · December 2020

This is a beautiful post, thank you for your reply.

claireloSC · December 2020

This is maybe not that helpful but I did reciprocal IVF - meaning my wife underwent retrieval, and due to medical issues for her, I am pregnant with #2 from those embryos currently. I am the biological parent of our first child. Retrieval is hard so I feel like I'm doing the easy part. Certainly doesn't feel like anything but my/our kid and I know she never felt any different about our daughter (nor our daughter feeling that way) as a non-biological parent. Parents are the ones who show up every day, not the ones who share genes.

blessedmama2004 · December 2020

Youre right. Thank you the reply, it is helpful to see messages like this.

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