WRW 11/18

jackie_dunny · November 2020

***General TW that this thread might contain discussions mentioning MC and loss.***

Welcome to Waiting Room Wednesday! You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey, and having to wait makes it feel even longer -- even if it is for a good reason.

I invite you to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this like an ongoing conversation.
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When do you think you will start TTC?

What brings you to WRW?

Any R/R?

GTKY: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

jackie_dunny · November 2020

When do you think you will start TTC?
Anytime between now and July 2021

What brings you to WRW?
I was going to say “I like kids” but scratch that

Any R/R?
still feeling crummy. I feel like that’s all that’s going on in my life right now lol I go to work and feel awful and then I come home and lay down and that’s pretty much my day. Try and do a few chores here and there lol

GTKY: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
My dream job has changed so many times but here are a few I can think of: artist, astronaut, whale trainer, interior designer, and actress

doodleoodle · November 2020

When do you think you will start TTC?
I’m torn between keeping a small age gap between children so that they will have a playmate and not wanting to be overwhelmed by a small age gap.

What brings you to WRW?
Agonizing indecision

Any R/R?
Not this week

GTKY: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Private Detective. Looking back, I think I read too much Nancy Drew.

@jackie_dunny I’m so sorry you’re still feeling bad. Do you still think it might be stress? Maybe you should look into tele therapy? Also, LOL-ing at the randomness of whale trainer. What is it with kids and whales? They love them.

jackie_dunny · November 2020

@doodleoodle I’m sorry your agonizing over your decision. I know this isn’t a decision you leave to like “a pros and cons list” but maybe doing something of that sort will help clear your mind a bit? Getting it down on paper always helps me. Ooh private detective that’s a good one I hadn’t heard from a kid before! I was inspired by looking at photos from our trip to Sea World and there was a picture of a woman standing on top of a whale that was coming flying out of the water and I was like, “yep that’s what I want to do” and then I realized that you had to be the one to actually train them to do that and didn’t just get to magically perform with whales and I was like “ah nevermind then” lol

LJMoon6 · November 2020

@jackie_dunny Ugh, I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. Are you making time for yourself? Doing the things that make you happy? MH and I have been going through a rough transition from happy married couple to bickering parents. It’s been…. difficult. One thing that we’ve done that I thought has help, and could maybe help you as well, is make a “what activities bring you joy/happiness” list. We try to do something on one of our lists at least once a week. It helps make sure we are making time for ourselves. And it gives us some time to spend together, reconnecting. Sorry if that was just a long ramble. I hope you’re able to find something the helps.

@doodleoodle How old is your little one? A small age gap can be fun, but I definitely understand not wanting to get overwhelmed. Private detective sounds awesome! I recently started the women’s murder club books by James Patterson. Love me a little murder, drama, detective story!

When do you think you will start TTC? Probably in a month… depends on what my cycles end up doing.

What brings you to WRW? Getting baby fever really bad as I realize my baby is now a toddler. Plus I’m itching to get started, since it took us so long to get pregnant last time, I’m wondering if we’re being stupid by waiting.

Any R/R? Over the last month or 2 the couple times MH and I have had sex I’ve started bleeding. I don’t know if it’s just coincidental and I would have started bleeding that day anyways or if the sex caused the bleeding… My cycles had been very regular (got my first PP period at 6 months even though I was still breastfeeding). I stopped breastfeeding a couple months ago so maybe my hormones from that have thrown my cycle off? Anyone have any experience with bleeding from sex?

GTKY: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? I don’t know if I ever really thought about this question much… maybe a translator. I always thought it was cool to speak a different language. Or a flight attendant. Although, I did almost become one of those lol.

dsher · November 2020

@jackie_dunny I really feel you on the general feeling crummy. The second lockdown here has hit me HARD. I think it doesn't help that we temporarily are living with the in-laws... not ideal! I find myself slinking from bed to desk to wfh and then watching DS until my husband gets home. Not sure I have much insight to offer in terms of how to feel better but I definitely feel some solidarity!!

@LJMoon6 how old is your little one? I feel like I'm in the exact same situation! Re the bleeding I'm not sure - only to say that I only got my first PP period at nearly 11 months and even then the bleeding wasn't super regular so there's a good possibility that it's hormonal.

When do you think you will start TTC? January, probably.

What brings you to WRW? Jan is really far away it seems

Any R/R? see above - living with MIL, slowly losing mind, etc.

GTKY: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? a teacher! Not very imaginative apparently!

doodleoodle · November 2020

@jackie_dunny ahhh Sea World. I never went as a child but as an adult it was magical so I can see how it would impact a child that way.. now though I’m feeling sorry for those whales 😞 a pros and cons list is a good idea. I think my main concern is practicality. It makes so much sense to not have another one but I feel like I will regret it my entire life if I don’t.

@LJMoon6 I love James Patterson! I read almost all of his “Kiss the Girl” books.. I know that’s only the title of one of them but I can’t think of the lead detectives name in those books.. Alex Cross maybe? Idk lol I have 3 children: a newly 5 year old, 3.5 year old and a 9 month old. All girls ❤️ I’d really like one more girl so there’s not a group of 3 girls. I remember that never working out well when I was a child. There was always one left out. About the bleeding- is it spotting or something more? I’ve spotted a little after sex if I was pregnant, or *tmi* if maybe things were a little rougher than usual.

jackie_dunny · November 2020

@LJMoon6 sorry I should’ve clarified. I feel fine mentally, quite good actually lol it’s physical. I’ve been having really bad dizzy spells and really painful headaches but the hospital and doctors have no idea what it is. The last they said was “migraines, cancer or brain hemorrhage” but then didn’t do any tests to rule anything out or properly diagnose. They put migraines on my discharge papers but I don’t think it’s migraines because to my understanding, you’re quite sensitive to light with a migraine and I haven’t been. That’s some really good advice, though! DH and I have these cute little weekly date cards we like to do together. Also I’m with doodle, how much bleeding are we talking? Just spotting I wouldn’t be concerned about but anything more than that I’d reach out to my doctor. I’ve spotted after sex when I was close to my period and I think once when I was ovulating as well but I can’t remember lol

@dsher oh god living with the in-laws! I feel you on that one! I love my in-laws to bits but I used to live with mine as well and it makes you question your friendship with them 😂

@doodleoodle yeah, I feel bad for the whales now too and I’m glad it’s not something I pursued lol as for your potential regrets, having only “known” you here on the bump for quite some time, having four kids is something you’ve always mentioned and said you wanted so even only being internet strangers, I could see you regretting it. Obviously adding another child to your family is not something to take lightly so I get your dilemma.

tumbleweed-1 · November 2020

I typed out nice responses to everyone this morning and my DS shoved a toy in my hand and I lost them all 😩 He’s asleep now and I finally have time to try again at posting.

@jackie_dunny migraine symptoms can vary, or you may be less effected by light. Have they checked if the dizziness is an inner ear problem?

@doodleoodle I second pros and cons lists. Do you have any trips or major life events planned (not that anyone has plans anymore, thanks 2020). Factor in how they’d be if you’re pregnant or with an infant. For example, we want to do a holiday mountain trip with my partners family in 2024, and I want to try to snowboard again, so I definitely don’t want to be pregnant during that!

@LJMoon6 I like the weekly activity idea. I feel you on the bickering. We argued over everything for our poor son’s first year of life. It started to get better around his first birthday, but then the pandemic happened and we’re back at it a bit, unfortunately. How old is your child now? Mine is 22 months.

@dsher I hope you have a space in your current living situation where you can have some peace and privacy.

When do you think you will start TTC? Spring/summer 2021?

What brings you to WRW? Waiting, lol

Any R/R? Not right now

GTKY: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? A paleontologist or a Disney animator (until I learned that most movies are done digitally and not hand drawn anymore)

doodleoodle · November 2020

@dshr do you typically get along with mil?

@jackie_dunny
Maybe you should get a second opinion. I think it’s really inappropriate for a doctor to mention cancer as a possibility and then not rule it out.

Tumbleweed- the only major things we have coming up is DH *likely* getting a job at another location at some point, but we don’t know when and also wanting to start annual vacations at Disney World again but because of the pandemic who knows when that will be safe again. DD1 will be starting kindergarten in August and I really don’t want to risk missing her first day because I’ve given birth and I have gone into labor early before.
DH suggested we start trying again in sometime February-May ‘21.

jackie_dunny · November 2020

@tumbleweed-1 yeah I think my ears have been checked. They did a few balance tests as well. Every doctor/paramedic/nurse I saw kept saying something about my left eye not focusing properly but then were just like “hmmm 🤔.....🤷🏻‍♀️” so I’m guessing it’s something there but who knows lol paleontologist is another good one! I looove dinosaurs! I could never have the patience to be an animator, digital or hand drawn lol

@doodleoodle yeah that’s what I said! He said the chances are so low so doing the test could be pointless and I’m like well if the chances are so low, why even bother telling me? No one in my real life seems to understand why that’s really frustrating and like you said, inappropriate. They’re just like oh well if it was serious he would've done the tests and I’m like I get that, but then why even tell me? Like he KNOWS I have anxiety (it was on my discharge papers) maybe not the best idea to tell someone with anxiety there’s a teeny tiny chance you could be dying but we’re not gonna bother checking. Ooh seems like you’ve got a TTC date assembling! What are your thoughts on that date?

dsher · November 2020

@doodleoodle I very much did! And still do honestly, I’m quite uncomfortable with any tension so i find myself going very far out of my way to make things just happy and perfect and smiley and comfortable for her...but she’s just not that kind of person. Honestly learning a very valuable lesson right now I feel on letting people be- even if their baseline is being kind of miserable.

Re your potential TTC date- I second what jackie said, what are you thoughts on feb?? Not very far off! I have moments now where I realise jan is weeks away and I get v v excited ☺️

doodleoodle · November 2020

Jackie, get a second opinion! Beg them to do the test to rule out cancer, even if it just is to ease your mind. I’m sorry people you know irl are being dismissive. They probably just don’t want to think about something seriously being wrong because they love you.

@dsher I so empathize with wanting to please your mil. I bent over backwards for mine for years with little in return and after a decade have finally just learned to let go and do my own thing without sucking up. Hugs to you, girl. And- January is right around the corner! So excited for you!

TTC— idk how to feel. I love the idea of an October due date and it’s easy to get excited about a new baby. I’m actually even looking forward to giving birth one more time, which sounds crazy probably. I just wish it was more practical- our house is 4 bedroom, we would need a new car, blah blah blah. You guys know the thought process lol

jackie_dunny · November 2020

@doodleoodle yeah I’ll be calling my doctor in a few days. Thursday is the first chance I have (because of my work schedule) so I’ll do it then. February is still a little ways away and then you obviously have 9+ months (if you get KU right away) to sort things out (car, house, etc) I know you don’t want to be moving while pregnant but you might not be too far along when/if you do. Maybe next steps to talk with DH are about what’s next to do in regards to moving house? When does he find out about potential job relocation?

doodleoodle · November 2020

jackie_dunny said:

@doodleoodle yeah I’ll be calling my doctor in a few days. Thursday is the first chance I have (because of my work schedule) so I’ll do it then. February is still a little ways away and then you obviously have 9+ months (if you get KU right away) to sort things out (car, house, etc) I know you don’t want to be moving while pregnant but you might not be too far along when/if you do. Maybe next steps to talk with DH are about what’s next to do in regards to moving house? When does he find out about potential job relocation?

Keep us updated!

with the company that he works for it’s commonplace to have to relocate to move up within the company. So when a job becomes available it could be anywhere. There are only so many positions available so when one becomes available he applies because we don’t know how long it could be before another one opens up. It’s quite competitive too so it could take awhile, but it’s anybody's guess.

LJMoon6 · November 2020

@dsher My little guy is 13 months. He just started saying “all done” and I can’t get over how old he seems already!

@doodleoodle It’s funny how you don’t want 3 girls because that’s how you grew up (I’m assuming based on what you just wrote). That’s exactly how MH is. He doesn’t want to have 2 boys because he hated growing up with his brother. Now if it were 1 boy and then a girl, that would be fine for MH lol. The bleeding was a little bit more than just spotting. I actually thought I had gotten my period. But it stopped within 6 hours (we were not getting rough at all, unfortunately lol).

@jackie_dunny Oh! Interesting about the possible diagnoses. Seems intense to say possible cancer and then not follow up with ordering tests. I hate doctors some times. I do have a condition that’s called Chiari Malformation. It causes dizziness and headaches. They can diagnose it with an MRI. I’ve had decompression surgery so I don’t get dizzy any more but I do occasionally get the migraines. Daily headaches is a symptom of it. Might be worth asking the doctor to order an MRI. The bleeding was pretty significant this last time. But it was on ovulation day… I actually wasn’t sure if I would get my period on time or if that was a mini period… but I did get it over the weekend. I need to get in for a pap anyways so I’ll probably just mention it then.

@tumbleweed-1 Mine is 13 months. We had a really good sit down talk last month and things have been so much better ever since. It had gotten pretty dark there for a while. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. But we’re on the same page now. I know we have more work to do but I like where we’re at. It’s crazy how much a baby can change your relationship!

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