UO 10/29

hannahbananas11 · October 2020

What unpopular opinions are out there today?

hanfam2021 · October 2020

I hope this isn't the totally wrong forum for this, but my unpopular opinion is that I totally want to be able to talk about bumps with other women! They're all different, just like every woman and every pregnancy is different. And if I say your bump is huge what I mean is: "oh my god you are so strong to be dealing with that, I have no idea what you're going through. Do you want to talk about it?" But I feel like we can't because people will read something negative into it if I remark on it. I promise I'm not! And if you get weird comments from someone like me, *please* consider that we really aren't implying negative subtext. Maybe we have big dumb mouths and we should keep em shut

, but we aren't trying to make you feel bad

Edit: for clarity, I don't have a super small bump. I don't really know where on the spectrum I fall tbh

tamalahoops · October 2020

@hanfam2021 I totally get what you're saying because I'm huge and want to explain to anyone that will listen that baby is the one that's big, I actually haven't gained a single pound. However, pregnancy has made me so weirdly insecure. My belly is measuring ahead, I have broken blood vessels all over my face from puking and I feel like a whale. I hate when people comment on my size, no one is ever telling me how petite I look, it's always "dang girl, you're big in here." And tbh I hate it.

My uo: I shouldn't have to accept hand me downs just because they're offered. Especially when it's something that's essentially garbage. I'm polite to a fault but when Im able to politely say something like "thank you so much but we're actually all set on (expired and broken) car seats," people act like I've rejected a handmade heirloom.

jumpy57 · October 2020

@hanfam2021 😂 wanting to talk pregnancy details is fun and normal. I typically have no issue discussing pregnancy things with other pregnant people, other moms, or people I'm actually friends with. Its the random comments with no follow up that are off putting.

@tamalahoops crappy hand me downs ARE awkward. If someone forces a broken/old car seat on you again you can save it for a Target car seat trade in for a 20% off coupon 😉

UO? DH and I like nice things and have almost no interest in yard sales. I want my stuff to perform as expected and we typically hang onto stuff for years so quality is important. For example: I have no problem with either of us paying $$$ for sunglasses because we use them daily for 5+ years

kkfishy9 · October 2020

@hanfam2021 I'm a little torn on how to feel about the bump talk. I just know that everyone feels so different about the physical changes. For me, I actually kind of think my bump is cute, and wouldn't mind if someone commented on it. My sister, on the other hand, is due one month before me, and feels much more self concious about it, and likely doesn't want too many comments, particularly from strangers on it? Maybe it's just one of those read the room sort of things?

@tamalahoops preach!! I am so grateful for many of the second hand items I have been gifted, particulary the ones I was unsure if we needed so am happy to have it for free to test out. However, there are some things I want new, I just do!

My UO: I think I only have random unpopular opinions, not so much related to pregnancy. For example, I love boutique workouts (purre barre, spinning, orange theory, etc.), however, I hate the whole "we're trying to build a community" thing. I came here to workout, and get out. Don't judge me for not wanting to stay for the post workout mimosas, join the weekend hike, or participate in the instagram challenges. You get a significant portion of my monthly income, isn't that good enough!?

hannahbananas11 · October 2020

@hanfam2021 I’m one of the people who hates comments from strangers about my body, positive or not. I think for me I get really annoyed at how society tends to lose sight of the person and pay attention only to the pregnancy. Like, I hate getting special attention just because I’m pregnant. Just like I’d hate to get special attention for being tall, or short, or whatever. It is different if the stranger is also pregnant (it’s not as creepy), but still unwelcome.

@jumpy57 I’m the same way. We’ll hold off on buying something until we can afford what we actually want. Like a dining room table: we had a hand-me-down small table from mid-med school through residency (8 years), and then finally this year we had enough money to feel comfortable buying a dining room table that we love and will last us for decades. Our furniture, cars, and kitchen gear are all that way: we start with gifted or used things from our early years of marriage when we were living on only my income, and then methodically upgrade our things as we save money.

my UO: I don’t give a rat’s ass about how people feed their babies (breast, bottle, formula, combination) as long as their baby is fed. I don’t know their situation, and I think people who judge parents based on which feeding method they use are total assholes. Lactation support should be covered entirely by insurance, AND pediatricians should also be fully prepared to give good information to new parents about formula feeding in case breastfeeding isn’t feasible or desired.

hanfam2021 · October 2020

@tamalahoops"thank you so much but we're actually all set on (expired and broken) car seats" literally made me laugh so hard. It might be one of the most well-constructred jokes I've ever read

@hannahbananas11 I totally get it. It's hard to make some sort of comment on any physical attribute without facing similar problems, even when you mean it in a benign or genuine way. And it's always context-dependent. I think I want to talk about it because I wish I had a bigger/higher/rounder bump and I love seeing women who do (/I'm jealous of them). The other day at work a guy came up to me and said "whoa did you have a little too much pizza last night?" He knows I'm pregnant, he was making a joke, but since I'm the kind of person who always spills food I was immediately looking for marinara on my shirt. Then he went on to talk about how his wife's bump is so small she must be "suffocating the baby" and internally I started thinking 'wow, none of these comments are cool or funny' but what are you gonna do. Clueless dudes are clueless dudes.

@hannahbananas11 I totally agree with your UO! I think it should be a PO. No one should judge, because not everyone deserves to know how someone's boobs are doing, and whether or not they're compatible with a tiny mouth. Ain't nobody's business but the mom's and, if she chooses one, the LC/doc/support staff.

WildMagelet · October 2020

@hanfam2021 - I love pregnancy talk. I would probably think it was weird coming from someone that wasn't pregnant unless we were close, but otherwise you've already got something in common to talk about if you're not.

@tamalahoops - Same on the hand me downs. I've had some people give me legit great things, and others just pass me their junk they were too lazy to donate or give away. Luckily I've gotten over my aversion of getting rid of gifts on principle. We've also had the same problem with people wanting to buy us things we don't want. Don't waste your money, please. Your well-wishes without the gift are probably more appreciated than adding clutter to our house or making it my problem to deal with. Just because you think we need it doesn't mean we need OR want it.

@jumpy57 - Some things I don't mind used, but other things I'm a bit of a quality snob for and totally on board with spending more money to get something quality you want instead of settling for something you don't. Luckily, DH is also on board with that. I thought my stepmom was about to stroke out when she asked me what the cashiest item we had left to buy was. DH and I can totally afford it so who cares how we spend our own money?

@hannahbananas11 - I agree with you. Everyone's situation is different and as long as the baby is being fed adequate nutrition it's frankly no one else's business. I also think that more non-lactation staff need to receive better education for both lactation and general nutrition, but that's a whole other story.

tamalahoops · October 2020

@jumpy57 this is exactly why I'm bothered by the hand me downs. We got a lot of judgement from some people about what we spent on some of our baby items. Now those same people keep saying they have xzy to give us so why would we "waste" money on new items. All of the stuff is 7+ years old and wasn't high quality to begin with.

jumpy57 · October 2020

@tamalahoops I have not once regretted our fancy high chair or strollers 😂 we are also continuing to use them for baby #3 so it's money well spent in my opinion. When we are done we will see if any friends need baby items (because it will all still be in good shape) or just sell on Facebook.

UO 10/29

Re: UO 10/29

Choose Another Board

Search Boards