second child

Re: second child

• harpseal135 member

  October 2020

  amiidav8765 said:

  Hi moms. I already have one child.  and it seems to me that I want one more.  but I am afraid of such a responsibility.  I don't know how much money is needed for two children and if we can afford it. how does it feel to be a mom of two children?

  Mom of 1, but plan on doubling monthly costs that you spend on one. We were blessed with 1 before I needed a hysterectomy at 31. If we were able to have a second, our 1st wouldn't have the opportunities a s she does now

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• doodleoodle member

  October 2020

  Mom of 3 here. Just add up the cost of wipes, diapers and formula just in case you need to FF. Decide if you want to set money aside for college, if you plan to buy them cars/pay for their car insurance while they’re teens etc. 
  
  Your time would be divided but they will also have each other which I feel kind of balances that out. It feels great to watch them interact with one another. There are also times where it feels shitty that you can’t give everyone individual attention. 

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• [Deleted User] member

  October 2020 edited October 2020

  No one can tell you how you will feel, but I think it's pretty awesome.  It's hard at times too, don't get me wrong, but for me, any financial burden would be so greatly outweighed by the precious gift it is to be able to bring another new life into the world, a sibling for our first, (and the possibility of more grandbabies down the line!  If we could be so lucky).  A home bustling with children would make me feel like a very rich woman, indeed. 😊 I was literally on our way to Church this morning, looking at both our girls, and just pinching myself.
  
  To try to answer your question though, you can always reuse clothes or find second hand; gearwise, we have been able to reuse almost everything from kid No. 1. so I've found it's much more affordable in startup costs. 😝 We also had cloth diapers, so that keeps the ongoing spending on disposables and wipes way down, and hopefully we can BF a bit longer this time, too.  If need be, there are ways to get formula if you really can't afford it - you would find a way to provide the basics your child needs, and fill in the rest with love.  Get creative!  Games and crafts are way more fun than buying a million toys.  As they grow up, they may earn scholarships or even go down a path of entrepreneurship!  I try not to worry too far into the future tho, and take it one step, one stage at a time.  Lilies of the fields, and all that.  They don't need to be enrolled in every single activity, either.  In fact, my local gym has ALL THE CLASSES, EVEN FOR KIDS!!! included in one membership for way less than paying for individual activities.  Just food for thought, but I don't think siblings miss out in any way.  It's <i>your</i> family though, so follow your heart, and GL!

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• wishiwaspreggo member

  October 2020

  I had twins after my first (so went from 1 to 3 kids immediately). Financially, I compare it to a toad being boiled alive slowly. It all happens so gradually you don't even realize you're sitting in boiling water like "Eh, this is fine" when you'd scream if someone dropped you in without expecting it. Diapers and food are just looped into the grocery expenses. We use a lot of my son's old clothes for my second son, and we're big fans of consignment sales (both buying and selling). You can get a lot of money for your used stuff one day. The biggest expenses were a mini van (my parents generously gave us theirs - we'd have been in rough shape without it) and getting a bigger house. Went from 2 bed/1 bath 1000 square feet to 4 bed/2 bath 2000 square feet. My twins were in pack n plays outside our room in the dining room for their first year. You do what you have to do. Everyone finally has their own bed and space. We were able to afford it due to the pandemic, ironically. We sold our house at a tidy profit because houses in our town in our price range were in very short supply so... seller's market. Then we bought our current house new at a 2.5% interest rate so we got super lucky.
  

  Anyway, my point is, we went into all this blind (not expecting my parents' generosity with the van and not knowing when we'd leave our tiny house for a bigger place). All the pieces just kind of fell together. If you want more kids and are able to carry them, and it wouldn't tank you to the point of serious financial hardship, you will figure it out. I panicked when I learned we were having twins but now I wouldn't have it any other way!
  

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