TTC 6+ Months Thread Ideas?

keikilove · October 2020

Hey friends, just wanted to post a clear place for the dialogue to continue. If anyone decides to start the TTC 6+ Months thread, you may want to get ideas from others here about exactly what folks would want to see included.

keikilove · October 2020

It may be smart to start it off as a monthly thread. If it gets really busy then it could be converted to a weekly thread.

acleverusername · October 2020

It would be good to get input from others how the first 1-6 months of TTC differs from where you are now (6+ months). For me, since I was > 35, with pre-existing diagnosis, at 6 months we were already starting IF testing / discussing potential treatments. Some weeks went by really fast, and others dragged on. There were weeks I wanted to ask a lot of questions / talk about my feelings / what's next, and other weeks that just I needed to internalize.

I know that we don't have to post to Dailies if we don't want to, but I also think the Dailies are a good way to get to know the people who are in the same boat as you are (the TTC boat). However, a TTC 6+ boat is more of a transatlantic passage. What's the best way to get to know ppl who are sharing this passage with you?

We also have folks on here who have experienced losses in their TTC journey so far, and those who are experiencing secondary infertility. Perhaps this should be a safe space to discuss this as well?

Those are "top of my head" thoughts.

ashaislurking · October 2020

Popping all of this in a spoiler because some of my comments are specifically related to TFAS for a longer period of time. I don't want to trigger anyone who is also in this limbo area who is still TTC their first THB.

I think for me personally, hitting 6+ months made pregnancy announcements, people popping in and out of the board, etc. sting that much more. People who came in after me graduating before me hurt. I'm now to a point where I recognize every single person on the grad check in threads and that hurts a bit. I wasn't as enthusiastic about TTC anymore at that point, making my participation in the daily and weekly threads harder. There was one point that we had a bunch of TFASers stop participating either because they had graduated (and we had to change the wording because of a few random announcements) or they had exclusively moved over to the IF thread (possibly because the amount of quick grads). I lurk the IF thread to keep up with how friends are doing but because I don't "go there" I don't post there or really love tit people's comments. Passing certain TFAS milestones also hurt a lot for me (I'm now at a point that I've been trying longer than I've ever needed to), and I no longer recognize most of the people who are active in that thread and can't relate to what they're going through. Might I eventually move over to the IF thread? It's possible. Might I graduate before that? Also possible. I don't know at this point but I'm also not super hopeful that it'll happen for me before the one year mark. Two more months will mark the date I got my IUD removed, another month after that is when we were able to actively start TTC. I'm in a weird painful grey area I've never needed to navigate before. I would love to have a safe space to process these feelings without bringing others down, especially with regard to the TFAS thread where so many people are so hopeful that it'll happen in a relatively similar timeframe as their other pregnancies.

_orchid_ · October 2020

Maybe something like adjustment or struggles this month / milestones / questions?

One thing I've struggled with is planning! I'm very type a and at the beginning was like "well, 9 months from now is this event and I don't want a newborn then, 9 months is this event and I'm ok being pregnant then". Once I hit 12 months I stopped GAF about those types of thoughts.

ashaislurking · October 2020

@_orchid_ Absolutely yes to the adjustments and struggles.

krash_ · October 2020

For me hitting the 6 month mark made me realize that there might be a problem and we were probably in for a long road.

TW TFAS

We conceived DS in one cycle so while I knew it wasn’t realistic for that to happen again, I didn’t have any reason to believe there would be a problem.

After passing 6 months I stopped thinking that I would actually be pregnant each cycle. I had no desire to test and see more BFNs. I also had been doing this so long and tracked everything so I knew every cycle I have cramping about 9-12 dpo or that my boobs get sore before AF so the SS became less of an excitement about potentially being KU and more of a reminder that this cycle wasn't it. I don’t have much to say to people in the dailies sometimes without sounding like a bitter bitch. Props to the long time TTGPers that continue to make newbies feel welcome.

I also went through a shit storm in my personal life that has delayed things but that happens to so many people when they’ve been at this for so long. The stress of TYC can bring out the worst in your other areas of stress and make things come to ahead. I honestly think MH’s alcoholism wouldn’t have gotten so bad if we hadn’t been struggling to get pregnant but I also think it had to get bad for him to actually admit he had a problem and to get help.

I guess I have already made this into my safe space to vent. As far as the thread it’s self I’d say monthly would be good with some bumping and new updates every week or so so it doesn’t get buried. I like @_orchid_ suggestion of milestones and struggles this month. Maybe a bitch fest every once in while.

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