WTO Thursday 10/1

bows22 · October 2020

**This is a thread that welcomes all regardless of where they are at in their TTC journeys. Please be mindful of topics that are discussed that could be hurtful to those going through tough times. Mention of children or pregnancies of others should have a TW (trigger warning) and be in a spoiler if possible, and only be mentioned if it is extremely pertinent to the conversation. Thanks for keeping this a safe place for us all to engage!**

Month/Cycle:

CD:

WAYDTGKU:

R/R:

CS/Q:

bows22 · October 2020

Month/Cycle: 22/25

CD: 6

WAYDTGKU: OPKs, Tracking CM

R/R: Um excuse me but how is it October? Good grief. I had a really productive day yesterday but I am getting to a point where I can’t move forward until clients get me more information which is somewhat good but also bad because the deadline is still the deadline! But it gave me the chance to work on some non-deadline stuff last night that has been on the back of my mind so that was nice. I have an appointment this afternoon so I’m hoping that gives people the chance to catch up to me and I’ll be back in business tomorrow. Sorry, another work filled update. Give me about 2 weeks and I’ll talk about other things!

CS/Q:

fitzfizz · October 2020

@bows22 Seriously I don’t know how it is already October. I’m happy, because I love fall/October, but this year is just nutty.

@ashaislurking I love the idea of craftober! I almost certainly won’t have time to craft every day, but I am going to use some of your prompts!

Month/Cycle: 10/3 AL

CD: 4

WAYDTGKU: BBT, OPKs, something SMEP like

R/R: More of an update than a rant or rave. I found out yesterday that my SIL on MH’s side recently did IVF for the second time without getting any eggs. I knew they had been trying for ~2 years and I guess I suspected that they were doing some type of treatment, but I didn’t know it was that far. Pretty much everything I know about IF is from this board, but I’m thinking if you have two rounds of IVF stims with no viable eggs, there aren’t many other options other than donor eggs right?

CS/Q: Not a question **TW loss**

When FF changed to October today I realized that my predicted AF day is the same as my now empty due date. I had planned not to test until the day of AF if nothing shows, but now I don’t think I can do that. I think I am going to take that day off of work just preventatively. Ugh.

bumblebee0210 · October 2020

@fitzfizz 3 things, all in spoiler *tw*

*All of the TWS*

I'm so sorry about your upcoming milestone. I think it's really smart to take the day off and try to do something that brings you some joy, or just grieve.

On your SIL-- I am definitely not an expert but I think there are some people who don't respond well to the stims, or the particular stim regimen they are on (the book "Making Babies" has some stories about this I think). They might want to get a second opinion, but I am just a stranger on the internet. I will say, and heads up because this is a *special unicorn*-type story, but my brother and SIL went through 2 or 3 rounds of failed IVF with very few eggs and almost no viable embryos, and then moved to donor eggs and she got pregnant and then miscarried around 6 weeks. THEN (I think actually the next cycle), she conceived naturally and gave birth to a healthy baby. So clearly there were some eggs in there, but they just weren't responding to the stims (she was 33 though-- there are probably significant age-related limitations).

AFM, we are waiting on testing of the fetuses (can I just say I hate the term "products of conception"?) for the karyotype screening for us, to see if their issues are consistent with translocation issues etc. I think because they were mono/di twins, the rates of all sorts of losses, including aneuploidy are greater, so the docs think there is less of a chance that we have any karyotype issues than if I had lost two singletons. Basically they are all hesitant to put me in the RPL bucket because of the healthy baby + second loss being mono/di twins.

@bows22 sounds stressful. What do you do? I have a job with a lot of ebb and flow in terms of deadlines, and sometimes I enjoy the distraction of the big push, esp if it can distract me from other things like ttc. But sometimes it's just miserable.

Month/Cycle: 5/1 AL

CD: 4ish?

WAYDTGKU: opks, temps

R/R: Rave-- I actually worked out this morning (dance cardio) and it was one of those great workouts where you get all sweaty and endorphin-y and it's kind of fun and you feel much better afterward and are like "why do I not always do this?" Hoping it sticks.

CS/Q: Nothing yet-- this one is going to be weird anyway.

akoros · October 2020

@fitzfizz in spoiler because *TW*

Ugh, I'm sorry. Milestones are hard, particularly when they pile up like that. I got sort-of lucky with the EDD of my first loss, as I was pregnant and had a perfect NIPT and 12-week scan that day (my first loss was TFMR for T21 and cystic hygroma, which was discovered at 12 weeks) and therefore happily distracted. I'm absolutely dreading the EDD for my second loss. Not only is it around the holidays (Dec 29th), it's also the day before the 1-year anniversary of my termination. Because one shitty anniversary/milestone isn't enough.

Bottom line, *hug* do what you need to do and take care of yourself.

@bumblebee0210 also in spoiler, because *TW*

I also hated "products of conception". I kept saying "remains," at times almost said "him" but got choked up doing that. We also got a full karyotype this time around, along with RPL testing. For me it felt better to do something, even though I knew it was unlikely to find problems and we're just "unlucky".

Month/Cycle: 28/2 AL

CD: 10

WAYDTGKU: OPKs, vitamins

R/R: Loving this weather. Beyond that, in kind of a mood. At work we're having performance issues with one of my team members. She's a lovely person, but just not doing a good job. It's kind of confusing because talking to her she seems to be doing the right things, but then we get conflicting messages from others she's working with. I'm technically not her supervisor, yet, but my boss wants me to help out with this and all the performance reviews so that I get some practice before officially taking it all on. It's a good idea, just stressful and new for me. Also feeling super lazy, between training Monday and Tuesday and catching up yesterday I haven't worked out at all this week. Hoping to get something in, but if nothing else at least I have off tomorrow. Also, **TW** I'm not one to follow celebrities but saw the Chrissy Teigen stuff this morning, which brought up a lot of emotions/memories regarding my own losses.

CS/Q: none

acleverusername · October 2020

@bows22 Keep the work updates coming if it helps get through the day! It’s good that you at least got some time to work on non-urgent stuff; hopefully that means it won’t become urgent in the future.

@fitzfizz I am sorry about the upcoming milestone. *Hugs* I can only imagine what you and YH must be feeling as you approach that date. Do whatever self care is necessary to get through it. Also, to answer your question from yesterday re: virtual consult with urologist... no, it was MHs first time seeing him and it was more to review what we know and evaluate next steps. I guess that can all be done virtually. I liken it to an intake type of appointment with a PCP.

@bumblebee0210 good for you for getting your body moving first thing in the morning! Hopefully you can stick to it! Cmon endorphins! (Was it Zumba?)

Month/Cycle: 9/9

CD: 8

WAYDTGKU: Clomid + OPKs + TI, plus a bunch of vits/ supps. Urology consult for MH and autoimmune testing for me.

R/R: rave (I guess) Urology consult went well. I’ll repost what I’d posted to IF thread in spoiler. But the basics of it is: more testing for MH incl to see if there is a physical issue (I.e. tumor, varicocele). Depending on what his repeat SA shows, the one we got with IUI is either a fluke or the norm. And if the norm, I suspect the doc will basically recommend we do IVF. 🤷‍♀️ So maybe not a rave...?

We had the Urology consult today. Dr. was really nice; he's the Director of Reproductive Urology at UCSF so he must know what he's doing. 🤞🏻To make a long story short, basically next steps for MH is another SA, an ultrasound, and a physical exam with the NP. The doc also reviewed MHs previous blood test results and said that Clomid wouldn't be a treatment he'd prescribe since MH's total testosterone is fine (it's his free testosterone that's on the lower end of normal). One interesting fact the doc shared with us is how inaccurate SAs can be if done by a clinic that's not used to doing them. He said a study was done where a sperm sample with 38mil TMC was sent to various labs across the country for analysis. The results came back anywhere between 3mil to 300mil. All that to say, he said that MH's SA from June might not be accurate and hence why he needs a redo. We'll have another f/u with him once all the testing is complete.

Rant: it’s my birthday weekend and I we had great plans to go camping in Tahoe. We even took Fri off to get there early and just relax. I was sooooo looking forward to it. But now California is once again covered in smoke and it’s esp bad in Tahoe so we’re staying out and work is also crazy busy so I’m going to cancel my day off. 😕

CS/Q: will post later as I’m heading into my osteopathy appointment.

ETA: mis-tagged @bumblebee0210! Sorry.

MrsBlindLove · October 2020

@Bows22
Hopefully, your client gets the information to you with plenty of time for the deadline! That would be a little stressful! Nice, you were able to get some other things done though!

@fitzfizz
I am so sorry, be extra gentle with yourself and I think taking the day off is a good idea.

@bumblebee0210

That sounds so wonderful! What a fun way to start the day.

@akoros
That does sound stressful. I am so sorry about today. ❤️

Month/Cycle: 4/4

CD: 3

WAYDTGKU: PNV, BBT, tracking CM, EOD during fertile window

R/R: Rant- my endo has been really bad the last couple of days. Pretty bad flare-ups that have also been messing with my emotions a bit.

Rave- I am so excited about some things that are planned this month. Pumpkin patch, Canadian thanksgiving, my birthday, Halloween, so many wonderful things in October!

CS/Q:

akoros · October 2020

@acleverusername Ugh, sorry your trip and day off were cancelled! Chalk it up to another "FU, 2020". I think I get what you mean about a semi-rave for the urology appointment -- not really a rave, but getting information, answers, and a possible way forward feels good.

acleverusername · October 2020

@akoros we were once again simul-posting and then I had to dash into my appointment. I also get your feeling lazy and tbh, at this point in 2020, I say just do what you need to get through the year. My therapist gave me a pretty good technique; something she calls "opposite action". At any point when you're in one of those moods (i.e. can't bring myself to do anything), objectively consider if continuing to do that is going to make you feel better or worse. And if the answer is "worse", then force yourself to do "opposite action" (i.e. something that's not what you're doing, even if it's small like getting dressed, or going out for a walk. And yeah, with camping, it's another "FU 2020" situation. This is the 3rd camping that was cancelled this year. I feel bad saying FU to all of 2020 since the start of the year was some of the best periods of my life (got married, started a new job which I love, moved from Bay area suburbs into SF...)

@MrsBlindLove Oooh! Another Canadian! (I am too, but live in the US now/currently/not-sure-for-how-long). I am sorry about your endo. Remind me: are you getting any treatment for it? Your October plans sound great. I think MH and I are going to celebrate Canadian TG as well; an excuse to clean the house and maybe have a couple of ppl over for a socially distanced BBQ.

bumblebee0210 · October 2020

@akoros *TW*

(Maybe we should just start the TTCAL thread because so many spoilers)

What workups did you get for RPL? I have already had checks for thyroid and A1C because of the twin pregnancy, and my doc likes to check them anyway, and none of the anatomical stuff seems super relevant because I have never actually physically miscarried-- both of my losses were MMCs without a drop of blood. (My daughter was also induced at 41 weeks at 0 cm dilated-- my cervix is basically a steel trap). I know there is karyotyping, and some auto-immune things?

My doc said if I have another MC then she would definitely be all for the full workup, but I am not actually sure what that means. SO many of the resources on RPL (even the ind-depth ones) don't give that much info on the types of losses (like my doc was saying "oh but X thing usually causes 10 week losses, or Y thing would cause physical miscarriages, not MMCs"), and I have a hard time finding that info laid out anywhere in a useful way.

akoros · October 2020

@bumblebee0210 I have a spreadsheet, but you're right that this is probably best in a TTCAL thread (not sure of protocol and don't want to step on anyone's toes). I've gotten some really good advice from other women on here, both in the TTCAL thread and the IF thread.
*TW*

Can go more in depth, but for me they zeroed in on infections and thrombophilia panels. There isn't any indication of anatomical problems (my losses were a TFMR for T21 and an unexplained MMC at 15 weeks), and the karyotype on our second loss came back completely normal. I had a Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome panel, thrombophilia (largely Factor V, Factor II, and Anithrombin III) tests, as well as test for a few viral infections just in case. In the past I'd also had tests on vitamin/hormone levels, thyroid, hemoglobin, etc. You're right that the information is confusing and overwhelming, which is why I started a spreadsheet. From what I understand, what I had was a fairly standard RPL panel, and it just meant getting a bunch of blood drawn and giving a urine sample. Are you seeing a MFM at all? The genetic counselor at mine was really helpful in talking through everything and answering questions.

keikilove · October 2020

*lurking until I have time to post/catch up later*

@bumblebee0210 @akoros There is no protocol for posting threads. Anyone can start them any day of the week/month. You should go ahead and post the TTCAL if you notice it’s missing & needed.

akoros · October 2020

@keikilove And have to think up a creative GTKY?? The PRESSURE!

Kidding, thanks for letting me know about the protocol (or lack thereof). Will stop monopolizing this thread!

keikilove · October 2020

@akoros 🤣 That’s exactly why some of us avoid starting the threads! 😆 Thanks for posting it. I will see you there sometime this week.💗

MrsBlindLove · October 2020

@acleverusername I am so so sorry to hear about your birthday weekend getting canceled! That is incredibly disappointing. This year certainly has been full of adjustments (read canceled plans). It’s so exhausting emotionally. I truly am sorry and hope you have something fun planned to make up for it.

That’s so awesome! Where are you from originally? I am originally from Michigan and moved to Vancouver Island when I was 16, so have been here for quite a while now haha. We celebrate American thanksgiving. Two months of thankfulness what can be better? I’m guessing you are somewhere warm if you are having a BBQ in October 😊

We were starting to explore different treatment when I decided before we do too much down there I wanted to try for a baby. We have a deadline that if I’m not pregnant by we will go ahead and pursue treatment.

I am so happy to hear your Urology consult went well. Sounds like you are on a path forward.

(edit to format)

bows22 · October 2020

@fitzfizz ❤️❤️

@bumblebee0210 I do financial statement audits and business consulting. I lead a niche group in our firm and we had a lot of new clients this year so it’s been a lot. That’s awesome about the workout! Was it an online thing?

@a@akoros I agree, the Chrissy Teigen stuff was hard to see. It’s hard to see anyone go through that.

@a@acleverusername that’s great YH is going to re-do his SA. That’s on my radar for our new RE too. Glad you are seeing such an experienced doc too!

@m@MrsBlindLove I hope you are feeling better!

fitzfizz · October 2020

Literally just finished work after 9pm for the second day this week. 🙄 I’m super over my job right now and I need a vacation. Anyway, just didn’t want to post-and ghost so I was here and read everything! I have some responses but I think they will basically just be in TTCAL thread anyway. Now I can relax for a whole three and a half minutes before I fall asleep.

acleverusername · October 2020

@MrsBlindLove 100% re: "year certainly has been full of adjustments" (very nice way of putting it; I will steal it).
I hope you can get KU'ed soon and punt the endo stuff until after. FX. (Oh, and from Ottawa originally, currently living in San Francisco. Sorry for all the smoke we're sending your way).

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