This thread is for anyone who has experienced loss at any point in pregnancy or experienced the loss of a child. ((Please feel free to share your loss story if you haven’t already.)) Also a general TW (trigger warning) in that previous losses will likely be discussed in this thread.
How far along are you?
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)?
Any upcoming appointments?
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool)
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? i couldn't sleep last night. i kept pressing my boobs to make sure they still hurt because i'm feeling the paranoia of losing the pregnancy. i'd like to be comforted by my symptoms, but i know from last time that i could still be feeling pregnant even after the loss (MMC). i got this nagging feeling last night that something is wrong, not that i have any evidence of it. i just hate being in this waiting period and i hope that when i have my first US it calms me a bit, but idk if i will feel calm until 12wks? 20wks? 40wks? ever???! today was not a good day because my mind has been wild.
Any upcoming appointments? October 9th
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool) i'd have to go way back prior to high scholl (high school was miserable for me), so maybe back to middle school when i was named editor of my school paper. i was so proud and excited and eager to be in charge of it!
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Exhausted (getting 10-12 hours of sleep); sore / huge breasts; indigestion. emotional roller coaster between excited and terrified
Any upcoming appointments? Ultrasound on 9/28 w/ my fertility clinic; 10/2 with my OB. What will I do when I graduate from fertility clinic care and have to wait so long between appts??
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? fresh new tools! loved all the brand new pens, pencils and notebooks. always told myself I'd be super organized, and it never lasted more than a few weeks...
@asf0613 I squeeze my boobs several times a day 🤷♀️
How far along are you? 6 weeks
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Not much symptoms, maybe I get tired after lunch? Boobs are very slightly sore, a bit more today which I found comforting. I have highs and lows emotionally. I've had some spotting so that didn't help. I bought more pregnancy tests 2 days ago but ended up deciding against taking them. I've been afraid of how I would feel (both physically and emotionnaly) if I were to go through another loss. I still feel confident deep down though, and the worry thoughts are not intrusive.
Any upcoming appointments? October 5: dating ultrasound October 6: appointment with the High Risk OB
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool) Getting a brand new box of colored pencils 😅
@mimser i decided against testing just because it would probably show positive at this point no matter what. glad you aren't worrying to the point that it affects you too much. normally i can say the same, but today for some reason it just got to me. boobs are still sore though so thats something!
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Very nervous. My HCG has been lower and they're still monitoring it to make sure this is a viable pregnancy. I did have an awful headache and threw up this morning so I'm hoping that's a weird positive.
Any upcoming appointments? I'm going for another HCG today and see the OB tomorrow.
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? I loved getting new school supplies and having them all nice before they pretty much got ruined a few weeks in.
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Bloated and tired. I'm feeling more earlier than with my successful pregnancy. Before my daughter (almost 4) was born, I had a mmc/blighted ovum discovered at my intake ultrasound, so that's the "hurdle" for me though I'm well aware of everything that could go wrong at any time.
Any upcoming appointments? October 19 first ultrasound/appointment. I'm planning on calling out of the first day of class for the second-eight-week term to do this, which is very irresponsible of me, but I would have to squeeze the appointment in between two classes and I don't think I can handle that well even if the news is good (much less if it's not.)
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool) I always loved school supply shopping. Lisa Frank ftw! The bane of my existence was when teachers would specify things like "one red, one blue, and one yellow folder." Um, no, I want one holographic kitten, one iridescent butterfly, and one psychedelic ballerina folder, please.
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? I'm feeling better after my last ultrasound, it was much more definitive than my first. My symptoms are not too terrible, but I am so emotional and tired. I watched America's Got Talent last night and could not stop crying😂
Any upcoming appointments? I have my OB intake today but nothing exciting.
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool) In 7th grade I went to gymnastics after the first day of school and broke my elbow and missed almost two weeks because I had surgery😂 Not really the best but definitely the most memorable.
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? I feel like I've been run over by a truck and spun around on a merry go round for exceeding too long. Mentally, I'm shockingly ok. I think it's because I feel so physically crappy.
Any upcoming appointments? Next Wednesday! Ultrasound and first OB appointment. I'm using a new OB this time, so I'm a bit anxious.
GTKY: Favorite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool) My mom and I would make a back to school shirt and I'd have a cute outfit every year. One year we got a white tshirt and she sewed on ruffles on the sleeves and bottom and we did an iron on of Daisy the skunk from bambi and used puff paint to outline it. LOL!
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Symptom-wise I feel like trash, I’ve been nauseous for 3 weeks and can not get enough sleep. But I’m trying to see that as a positive. Emotionally, every weird pain I feel makes me think this pregnancy is not viable. Glad to have my text therapist because it helps to talk to someone who isn’t my husband (who keeps saying that everything will be fine, which I know he’s trying to be helpful but ugh 😩).
Any upcoming appointments? 10/2 I have a regular office visit with my OB, because of COVID they don’t see anyone for a first OB appt until 10 weeks! She wanted to at least see me because of my loss (over 13 years ago) and because last pregnancy was a clomid assisted one. This time we got KU all on our own which I 100% didn’t think was possible since we went 10 years of NTNP without even a scare.
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool) When I started high school and got to be in the same school as my older brother for once. The other schools were only 3 grades so we always missed each other but for one glorious year of high school we got to hang out. Obviously I’m close with him 😂 Our lockers were even in the same area AND we had a gym elective together. 🧡🧡🧡
I have my first US appointment tomorrow and I have all the nerves. My back was hurting me some last night and I'm like, OMG SOMETHING IS WRONG.... I have no idea. I've had no spotting. But my first loss didn't have spotting and I didn't find out until the US. This is such a mf.
@texas_t I know it's so hard to not fall in that thought pattern, that something is wrong. Hang in there! Can't wait for you to tell us your good news 🤗
I’m 7+4. my boobs/nips don’t hurt today and - TMI alert - I felt like getting it on with DH when I woke up (and actually followed thru for the first time in almost a month) so of course now I’m freaking out that something’s wrong.
I get that symptoms don’t equal healthy pregnancy but it’s when I have a symptom and “lose” it that I kind of go crazy. And I really hope I don’t start spotting post-sex (tbh that’s part of why I’ve held off...I can’t handle spotting).
Glad I have an 8 wk u/s a week from today (had my first one last week and was all good) but now I’m scared to share my good news with a few girlfriends later this week like I’d planned.
i wound up having some spotting all day yesterday so was able to hold off until this AM to call dr. they squeezed me right in and while heartbeat is a little bit slower than they would like (103 instead of 120), all looks good! i do have to go back next week (for my previously scheduled appt) to make sure it is stronger by then but feeling some relief at the moment because today i am pregnant !
@mimser no, he said IF there was a subchorionic hematoma (i had one last time) it has already resolved itself. it might have been nothing also. im okay with that answer!
I'm a member at the spotting club so I know the worries. This time around I've kind of chosen to not worry, wait for my scan and go from there. It's not like there would be anything to do. It basically started week 3 and I've had tinged mucus pretty much the whole way. I do feel reassured that I've been having increasing symptoms though. So, I'll take that. But that scan can't come fast enough!!
@mimser yes i definitely didnt want to be that girl that calls the OB for every little thing, but i had a weird feeling and hoping ill be able to rationalize it with myself between scans going forward. good on you though for being able to wait!
@asf0613 oh you did good! Here the only way I could get seen would be the ER so I don't have much options and considering Covid and all I'm ok to wait and hope for the best, but I'm getting tired of waiting!
Oh and my fiancé actually went and got tested for COVID yesterday because one of his coworker's wife tested positive. I freaked out a little because if it turns out he's positive too, that means no scan, no OB appointment next week and everything gets delayed 2 weeks and frankly that will be a lot harder to manage emotionally.
I know this thread can be one big trigger but throwing a TW on the below anyway.
Anyone have any advice or thoughts to share on an anniversary of your loss? Mine is coming up this Thurs/Fri - 10/1 was when I started spotting last year but the office I was with at the time (a GYN lab, not an OB) was closed Tuesdays so I wasn't able to go in and confirm until 10/2. I feel super blessed to be in different spot a year later and will be 8 wks on Friday. I didn't realize the exact date when I planned to have a few girlfriends over on Thurs. night to share the news (this will probably be the only chance I have to share the news with anyone in person as everyone else we're close to lives out of state). But I'm a little apprehensive now about sharing with the anniversary. I just have no idea how I'm going to feel. It's not like I feel like I'm "in the clear." I just really want to share a happy moment and hope that I don't wake up down or afraid that day. Guess I just wanted to vent and type it out. I'm sure all of our experiences and how we mark time is different.
@ec1212 I don't know what your beliefs or feelings are about what happens after life here, but my feelings when I was pregnant after a loss was overwhelming thankfulness. I don't know if I'm right, but I was thankful to the baby I lost for sending someone new to help heal my heart. So, instead of feeling grief or sadness, I felt like I was sending out gratefulness. I don't even know if that makes sense, lol. Again, I'm so very sorry for your loss. They will always be in our hearts.
Re: PGAL Check-in 09/23
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? i couldn't sleep last night. i kept pressing my boobs to make sure they still hurt because i'm feeling the paranoia of losing the pregnancy. i'd like to be comforted by my symptoms, but i know from last time that i could still be feeling pregnant even after the loss (MMC). i got this nagging feeling last night that something is wrong, not that i have any evidence of it. i just hate being in this waiting period and i hope that when i have my first US it calms me a bit, but idk if i will feel calm until 12wks? 20wks? 40wks? ever???! today was not a good day because my mind has been wild.
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool) i'd have to go way back prior to high scholl (high school was miserable for me), so maybe back to middle school when i was named editor of my school paper. i was so proud and excited and eager to be in charge of it!
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Exhausted (getting 10-12 hours of sleep); sore / huge breasts; indigestion. emotional roller coaster between excited and terrified
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? fresh new tools! loved all the brand new pens, pencils and notebooks. always told myself I'd be super organized, and it never lasted more than a few weeks...
How far along are you? 6 weeks
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Not much symptoms, maybe I get tired after lunch? Boobs are very slightly sore, a bit more today which I found comforting. I have highs and lows emotionally. I've had some spotting so that didn't help. I bought more pregnancy tests 2 days ago but ended up deciding against taking them. I've been afraid of how I would feel (both physically and emotionnaly) if I were to go through another loss. I still feel confident deep down though, and the worry thoughts are not intrusive.
October 5: dating ultrasound
October 6: appointment with the High Risk OB
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool) Getting a brand new box of colored pencils 😅
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Very nervous. My HCG has been lower and they're still monitoring it to make sure this is a viable pregnancy. I did have an awful headache and threw up this morning so I'm hoping that's a weird positive.
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? I loved getting new school supplies and having them all nice before they pretty much got ruined a few weeks in.
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Bloated and tired. I'm feeling more earlier than with my successful pregnancy. Before my daughter (almost 4) was born, I had a mmc/blighted ovum discovered at my intake ultrasound, so that's the "hurdle" for me though I'm well aware of everything that could go wrong at any time.
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool) I always loved school supply shopping. Lisa Frank ftw! The bane of my existence was when teachers would specify things like "one red, one blue, and one yellow folder." Um, no, I want one holographic kitten, one iridescent butterfly, and one psychedelic ballerina folder, please.
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? I'm feeling better after my last ultrasound, it was much more definitive than my first. My symptoms are not too terrible, but I am so emotional and tired. I watched America's Got Talent last night and could not stop crying😂
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool) In 7th grade I went to gymnastics after the first day of school and broke my elbow and missed almost two weeks because I had surgery😂 Not really the best but definitely the most memorable.
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? I feel like I've been run over by a truck and spun around on a merry go round for exceeding too long. Mentally, I'm shockingly ok. I think it's because I feel so physically crappy.
GTKY: Favorite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool) My mom and I would make a back to school shirt and I'd have a cute outfit every year. One year we got a white tshirt and she sewed on ruffles on the sleeves and bottom and we did an iron on of Daisy the skunk from bambi and used puff paint to outline it. LOL!
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Symptom-wise I feel like trash, I’ve been nauseous for 3 weeks and can not get enough sleep. But I’m trying to see that as a positive. Emotionally, every weird pain I feel makes me think this pregnancy is not viable. Glad to have my text therapist because it helps to talk to someone who isn’t my husband (who keeps saying that everything will be fine, which I know he’s trying to be helpful but ugh 😩).
GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool) When I started high school and got to be in the same school as my older brother for once. The other schools were only 3 grades so we always missed each other but for one glorious year of high school we got to hang out. Obviously I’m close with him 😂 Our lockers were even in the same area AND we had a gym elective together. 🧡🧡🧡
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
I’m 7+4. my boobs/nips don’t hurt today and - TMI alert - I felt like getting it on with DH when I woke up (and actually followed thru for the first time in almost a month) so of course now I’m freaking out that something’s wrong.
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
hoping that in the next week it gets a little stronger
@ec1212
and yes my little bebe
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
I'm a member at the spotting club so I know the worries. This time around I've kind of chosen to not worry, wait for my scan and go from there. It's not like there would be anything to do. It basically started week 3 and I've had tinged mucus pretty much the whole way. I do feel reassured that I've been having increasing symptoms though. So, I'll take that. But that scan can't come fast enough!!
Oh and my fiancé actually went and got tested for COVID yesterday because one of his coworker's wife tested positive. I freaked out a little because if it turns out he's positive too, that means no scan, no OB appointment next week and everything gets delayed 2 weeks and frankly that will be a lot harder to manage emotionally.
I feel super blessed to be in different spot a year later and will be 8 wks on Friday. I didn't realize the exact date when I planned to have a few girlfriends over on Thurs. night to share the news (this will probably be the only chance I have to share the news with anyone in person as everyone else we're close to lives out of state). But I'm a little apprehensive now about sharing with the anniversary. I just have no idea how I'm going to feel. It's not like I feel like I'm "in the clear." I just really want to share a happy moment and hope that I don't wake up down or afraid that day.
Guess I just wanted to vent and type it out. I'm sure all of our experiences and how we mark time is different.
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*