Low AMH Level

laurad75 · September 2020

@JamieH2000 Hopefully the new antibiotic will work but try not to get ahead of yourself and think the worst. We thought you were cursed last time and then came Elliot, right? xo

ladyp0tter · September 2020

@jamieH2000 - I am so sorry!! This whole process sucks!! You think you are ready to go then WHAM!!! I am so scared that we will hit a road bump, but the best we can do is think positive and do what we can to move forward. (((((HUGS))))))

mbradfo2 · September 2020

@JamieH2000
Ugh, that sucks big time :-( At least you have a game plan and you aren't transferring embies without knowing this info though. And yeah, it was really rough going through IF while my younger sister had two babies in the span of time it took us to get our little one. I'm much closer to her now though since our daughters are so close in age and she gives me hand-me-downs, we chat about things like potty training or snacks or just silly kid stuff.

I guess the follicle is just filled with water so it's sorta like a cyst? But since it's secreting ovulation hormones still, I'm not getting my period. At least that's how my doctor described it. Still no movement on that front, but I've been so busy with morning online preK and work that I haven't had much time to think about it. When I go in for my next scan to check on it (to make sure it's going down), I'll mention the BCP thing -- I never knew that. I basically went into my first cycle with zero knowledge and just relying on my doctor. It worked out for me though so I guess his judgment is somewhat okay haha

mbradfo2 · September 2020

Well I finally got my period late last night which totally surprised me since I usually feel it coming on and this time I didn't really get that feeling at all. Never thought I would be happy about seeing it! Awful cramps and heavy flow with this one, which is somewhat unusual for me. Poor DD wants to sit on my lap but all I want right now is the heating pad >.<

Not sure how this changes my schedule, if at all, because I was anticipating talking to my doctor next week about BCP like you guys recommended, and when I texted my nurse that I got CD1 today, she wanted me to start the BCP. Waiting for her response to my question about whether it's necessary or not. Hopefully hear something one way or the other soon. I had mediocre response with my first cycle; I really don't want this one to be even worse.

lucyb1954 · September 2020

@JamieH2000 I am so sorry. It’s so hard not to feel so cursed with IF. and antibiotics just suck in general although it’s good you have more information. You’ve been through a lot. I’m rooting for you and I’m keeping up the hope for you. ❤️❤️❤️

hopefuljj · September 2020

@JamieH2000 oh lady, I swear, what the actual F! Listen, I know it’s easy to spin, but this endometritis is going to resolve. It just has to. The universe really just doesn’t know how to spread the struggle around and seems to find a way to just focus in on some individuals and really pile it on. Seriously not cool universe, bet she thinks she’s funny, but she’s NOT! I’ve followed some ladies in the past who had a tough time resolving it but it did resolve. Thinking of you lady and sending love and calm. This is some bs:-/

andreamm31 · September 2020

WOW! I have missed a lot! You move into a new house (that is under construction getting all cabinets refinished) and life just suddenly gets crazy busy. Finally 95% unpacked, the construction is done, most of the dust is gon\, and I have had some time finally to sit down and read all your updates.

@JamieH2000. I am so sorry that you are dealing with the endometritis again. You have had such a rough go of this. But like @hopefuljj said, the universe can be so unfair and really pile it on for some people....but I have to believe that the reward will be that much sweeter once you are through it all....and you WILL get through it all.

@laurad75 Same thing about the universe for you too.....so very unfair that you keep having so many issues. Hopefully the methotrexate takes care of it. How crazy that it is just somewhere pumping out HCG and they cant find it. But better that it is not in a tube and the methotrexate can dissolve it.

@mbradfo2. I totally agree, it all has happened the way it is suppose to and we feel really like to have each other.

@c-town18 Hopefully the saline ultrasound doesnt delay us much. For me, the doc wanted it because of my traumatic D&C and hemorrhage to make sure I don't have scar tissue. Makes so much sense. She also asked me if I wanted a biopsy to test for endometritis...but I figured if I was just pregnant and I was progressing well until 10 weeks and the baby passed from Trisomy 21, I think im probably clear on that front. Unless I have a failed transfer, then maybe we could do more work up, but for now I just want to get moving.

@lucyb1954 I am hoping to get my saline ultrasound here in SD with my old RE. She has been wonderful doing monitoring for me when I went to Prague, so I think she is on board to do the same here. I may have told them a little white lie that Gina lived in Utah which is why Im going there for treatment and not staying here for it. But come on.....$50-65K vs 20K.....no brainer.

@lmajin99 We do feel so lucky that this forum has created such strong connections and given us this opportunity. Hoping you get your November transfer!

AFM: I love that @ladyp0tter posted our guys bromance pic. We loved that they got along so great. We also have a transfer date scheduled. We both transfer on October 29th in Utah. Gina got us the cutest sports bras that say "Positive Vibes" for us to wear on transfer day!! I was slightly bummed it wouldn't be earlier in the month, but by the time PGS testing comes back ,it would be mid October and this gives us time to get everything done and not feel rushed. Plus, I have been so overwhelmed and stressed with moving the past few weeks, that I want my body to chill out and relax and find balance again. Plus I just got a Peloton, so Im excited I have 2 months of steady working out before getting preggo and having to slow down. @lucyb1954 what is our clinics rules with exercise after transfer?

On a side note, anyone else having the hardest time getting this page to load. It literally takes me like 10 minutes before it will load.

Imajin99 · September 2020

@JamieH2000 Sorry that you have to deal with this now with all hurdles you have gone through in the past. Hopefully this will just be another hurdle that you will leap over!
@andreamm31 Thanks for your supportive words, I will keep everyone posted as soon as the embies are ready.

c-town18 · September 2020

I was out of town for a bit and am just getting caught up here. JamieH2000 - Ugh, I'm so mad for you. I don't have any words of wisdom but am rooting for you to kick this stupid endometritis's ass.

Imajin99 · September 2020

@c-town18 Hope you had a nice and relaxing time while out of town. How are you doing and feeling?

c-town18 · September 2020

Imajin99:

Hi, thanks for asking. I was having mild nausea for a few weeks and it suddenly stopped around 9 weeks which worries me, that seems early to stop. Now I've had pretty much no symptoms for the past 10 days. My last U/S was at 8w6d and everything looked great then. I go back to the OB today for another appointment (she's letting me come in more often in the first trimester since she knows I'm anxious about pretty much everything) so we'll see how things look. The anxiety around IF never gets easier though, I swear.

JamieH2000 · September 2020

@c-town18- thanks friend!! and I'm so glad you are getting in today. The first tri is SO hard after IF. Sending you all my prayers for good news!!

@laurad75- you are right. I thought I was cursed and I wasn't. I honestly try so hard to just be grateful for my one miracle. But you understand the strong yearning for a second. I am trying hard to lean on my faith that this will work out in the right time. Were you able to get your HCG down to zero?!

@ladyp0tter- thank you! Hopefully this is the last bump. Everyone on this board is so resilient and its great to have other strong fighters on here remind me when I'm feeling down and weak.

@mbradfo2- yay for getting AF!! what did they say about BC? You have so much on the line for this cycle (including lots of $$) so make sure they answer all of your questions

@lucyb1954- Thanks Chica!! Out of the first tri now right? I hope you are feeling better and getting into the more fun part!!

@hopefuljj- I know you get the setbacks. and the anxiety that something is wrong with you- that is not fixable. I haven't felt that way in years, and it was a rough week. I'm feeling some better now, but also just tired of this. Ready to put IF behind me for good.

@Andreamm31- yay for having a date!! even if its further out than you would like. Hopefully time will fly for us all!! and good for you on working out- i really should be spending these month delays on that. But i've been feeling too down. But I need to try to move more.

@lmajin99- thanks! I know you understanding waiting. I just wish we could fast forward this part. Hopefully we will all be transferring together this fall soon!!

AFM- sorry I have been MIA. its been a rough week. I truly get anxiety and spiral on stuff like this. I think its PTSD from everything with infertility. You just feel so broken and helpless. But I talked with my RE this morning. the good news is the new report is only showing "scattered" plasma cells, which is less than the previous report. So hopefully going in the right direction. I'm a week into the new antibiotic, and they are going to try to get me in for a hysterscopy as soon as possible after I finish the meds to get a look inside. Hopefully the next biopsy will clear. She says low amounts of endometritis doesn't necessarily mean we can't have implantation. But there is just isn't enough research here. SO we will do whatever we can to get rid of it, but at some point we may just have to transfer again.

laurad75 · September 2020

Hang in there @JamieH2000. That sounds like a promising update from your RE.

AFM - I am down to 16! I go back in a week and we should be at 0 by then. Just when I thought this couldn't be more annoying, one of my instructions is to avoid intercourse and its making my husband cranky. Am I supposed to feel bad for him? I'm terribly sorry I am having some (potentially dangerous) medical issues that prevent you from getting laid. That must be so hard for you. He can't be serious.

mbradfo2 · September 2020

@JamieH2000
The nurse said to not start it if I felt uncomfortable and come in for my appt so we could talk about it. The doctor wasn't really on board about not doing the BC but he said it was my choice. We're going to run tests and do a mock transfer this month. He said this time definitely only transferring 1 because I had preterm birth due to pre-E with my DD haha We'll see if we can get to that point. Went over all the paperwork and stuff yesterday. He did an ultrasound and everything looked good, lining sloughing off etc. He took some bloods too.

JamieH2000 · September 2020

@laurad75- o man. Major eye roll at him. Come on dude!! Yay for things heading in the right direction! Once it’s zero what’s the next step?

@mbradfo2- hows your AFC looking at baseline? I would only do one after my pre e too. That’s why we did pgs testing. Do you think you will test?

mbradfo2 · September 2020

@JamieH2000
AFC was 8 so not HORRIBLE but not what it was last time (I think 11-14 averaged when I was first doing IUI's and IVF). My doctor feels cautiously optimistic and he's quite the pragmatic fellow -- walked me through my first m/c, explaining everything and giving his thoughts while be sensitive, and prepared me for the likelihood of a vanishing twin after both embies implanted in my first transfer. Likely testing since with one natural m/c and the vanishing twin (both appeared to be abnormal developmentally due to enlarged yolk sac), odds are my embies are not very good. It feels so daunting being in the ring again o.o Although it feels different this time around since I have my DD and she's definitely keeping me on my toes these days.

How are you feeling with everything? IF is such a rollercoaster.

Oh my clinic posted this on their facebook page the other day and I thought of everyone here :-)

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/c8/vzrzolwku2j4.png

lucyb1954 · September 2020

@JamieH2000 I totally understand. For some reason the other day I was just having a really hard day. Just feeling like, everyone else gets to get pregnant with OE, why not me??? Idk, just feeling sad and sorry for myself. I don't know what brought it on. I haven't felt that way in awhile, but it just kind of came on and hit me for a bit. On the way back up now, but still. It's a rough road sometimes. And I think it's good news that at least some of the infection resolved and even if you can't get it all away, maybe you can reduce it to a point where it won't interfere with implantation. Lots of hugs

@laurad75 Yay! It's going down! I'm excited that you'll get to try again soon. Ugh sorry about your huz...really a bit of TMI here but me and my boyfriend haven't had sex since this nausea set in. I feel very badly about it but honestly I feel so awful that it's kind of unimaginable at the moment. I do feel like the nausea is slowly getting better but srsly, you've been through a lot and he needs to just suck it up!

@c-town18 Thinking about you today! Hoping for the best. I had a moment at 11 weeks where I didn't have the nausea for a day and a half and I freaked out and went for an ultrasound. Everything was fine, but I understand the feeling totally. Then the nausea set in again and I felt awful blargh.

@mbradfo2 did you decide to do the BCP vs. the estrogen? I hope you have a good cycle. It's a good thing that you respond to stims pretty well -- I always had a decent AFC but my ovaries basically don't respond to sh*t! Since you respond to stims, you never know what will pop up during a cycle so FX!

@ladyp0tter @andreamm31 You guys are getting so close! I know it sucks you have to wait until the end of October for transfer but you'll have everything in order. @andreamm31 super nice that you have a project to occupy you right now! That totally helps! Btw, if either of you are doing PIO, I have two unopened bottles. One is the ethyl oleate formulation and one is the regular formulation (which I think is sesame seed oil). Y'all are welcome to them if you'd like, I could drop them by when you're here for transfer! So excited for you two.

AFM

So far so good, but haven't had an ultrasound recently. My next scheduled one is a week from today with the MFM folks. Today is 13 weeks exactly! Nausea seems to be letting up a bit although today was a bit rough. I'm really anxious for this part to pass...I feel like I can't focus on much else really, until this part is over. But at the same time, I do feel like the nausea is a little reassuring so there's that? esp when you have to go so long between ultrasounds! The downside of IF, besides everything else, is that you know exactly how many things can go wrong and they play in your head constantly.

c-town18 · September 2020

laurad75 - OMG your poor husband..... NOT! Hahaha. With all the sh*t we have to abstain from (alcohol, caffeine, etc.) and endure (injections, hormones, procedures) for months and months on end?? Give me a break dude!

mbradfo2 - Aw, I love that quote. Thanks for posting it here!

AFM, some good news if anyone is needing to see a light at the end of the dark IF tunnel:

Went for OB appointment today at 10w5d and after some drama of course (they couldn't find a heartbeat on the shitty handheld doppler and had to wheel in an U/S machine while I was trying to keep from panicking of course) everything is looking good! Eeeek, I'm finally starting to believe that this is really going to work out. Never thought I would get to this point after that initial low beta.

c-town18 · September 2020

JamieH2000 - I've got a lot of extra meds too (PIO w/ sesame oil and Endometrin progesterone inserts mainly). Not sure what your med coverage is but if/when I'm safely out of the first trimester I wouldn't mind handing them off to you if it would make a difference. My OB's office is in the same building as your RE so I'm sure we could coordinate something. PM me if interested.

JamieH2000 · September 2020

@mbradfo2- i like that quote!! i truly believe that too. Its just hard waiting to get there!! 8 isn't bad! definitely workable. and I hope you do get some that you can test, just so you know you are transferring a good one. THe good news is you have carried before, so hopefully not surprise implantation challenges!!

@lucyb1954- I think its totally normal to have sad feelings about DE, even once you are pregnant and the baby is here. Of course you will love that baby and be so glad you got THEM. but it is a big life long part of the story that presents challenges others don't ever have to consider. I promise it does get easier and you will think about it less once baby is here!!

@c-town18- you are so kind to offer!! i actually have really good IF coverage through my company (which is very rare in WI), so I won't need the meds. But I am sure someone out there would be so appreciative of them. I think most clinics would take donations if you had unopened extras?

AFM- they couldn't get me in for the hysterscopy before 10/1. So three more weeks of waiting. and then at least another week to get the results. ugh. Will be lucky to get to transfer by mid Nov. I never imagined when we started talking to our RE about #2 last thanksgiving that somehow I wouldn't have been pregnant by this thanksgiving. I'm try to just let it all happen when it should.... but its hard.

laurad75 · September 2020

@JamieH2000 Oh bummer. I know you had hoped to get in sooner. Ugh the waiting.

I'm hoping I'm down to 0 by my next blood draw next Wednesday and then I assume we have to do one natural cycle before treatment but my nurse had emailed me a couple of weeks ago and made it sound like I might be able to start meds with my next period. Either way should be soon and I just need to make sure it's coordinated around our trip to TN. I am hoping by mid-Oct I'm at least on the estradiol because last time I took it for 3 weeks and had a good lining at my monitoring appt.

c-town18 · September 2020

JamieH2000 - With the hysteroscopy is she trying to get more info on what is causing the inflammation or trying to see the extent of it or what is she hoping to learn with it? I'm sure having the information will be worth it but I totally get how frustrated you are about the delay.

laurad75 - Cool, it sounds like things may be moving forward for you soon(ish) then! Where are you going in Tennessee? It's so pretty there in the fall!

andreamm31 ladyp0tter - Do you guys know when your donor will start her meds? It must not be that far off, right?

JamieH2000 · September 2020

@laurad75- where are you going in TN? we love the smokies!! i really hope all the timing works out just perfectly for you!!

@c-town18- Ya its not totally clear if the hysterscopy will help. But she said sometimes they can see polyps or other things doing it that they can't see during saline. Sometimes removing some of the lining just helps the lining regenerate and clear the inflamation too. I just wanted to get it over with since if we did another biopsy and it will showed endometritis, then a hysterscopy would be the next step anyways.

laurad75 · September 2020

Some progress today! I started bleeding significantly. I had been spotting or bleeding lightly for months - pretty much since right after the transfer in July but last night I began an actual bleed and I decided to call my office to be sure that was normal. They called me back and said it was totally normal and a very good sign. It sounds like I should be close to 0 at by blood draw Wednesday. I also got a call that my insurance has approved the next cycle so that is one thing I don't need to worry about.

We are going to the smokies! I've never been and have only spent time in Memphis and Nashville. For this trip we are staying two nights at Blackberry Farm which has been on our bucket list and then another 2 nights at a different (much less expensive) B&B in Sevierville. If anyone has recommendations for when we are there please share!

andreamm31 · September 2020

@laurad75. finally! Thats all great news! Yay for a period! Soon you will be at 0! Enjoy your trip!!!

@c-town18 I literally just got an email from my coordinator that our donor started her meds today! YIPPEE!!!!! We were so freaking pumped because her meds were just under $2500! We couldn't believe it since both of us were spending like 5K each time we needed meds for IVF. We needed double the dose of this young little whipper snapper. We also were really excited to find out we would get 20% off the donor cycle and our FET because my husband and Gina are both veterans.

@JamieH2000 great news that it was only scattered cells. I bet this round you will kick it. If I were you, I would really up your Vitamin C. It can help with cell turnover and healing of inflammation. Turmeric is also really good for inflammation.

AFM: So meds got started today with our donor! We are super excited. Her retrieval should be around the 24th last I heard, but of course that might change. I am having a saline ultrasound Monday to assess if I have any residual scar tissue and that my uterus is ready to go. I had acupuncture today and my acupuncturist lives in Illinois and comes back every 3 months or so. He moved away 2 years ago and when he comes back, he uses my old office space where I did energy work with my current acupuncturist Mili who I rented the space from. I love getting in with him when he comes back because he is not only a friend of mine, but he's more of a mentor I have had for about 9 years now. He is literally brilliant and has his doctorate. He is so knowledgable and I trust him completely. He asked me if I was doing Yoni steams. And its so funny because I actually did Yoni steaming before Prague and after and I think that was why I got so easily pregnant after Prague too. I had totally forgot about it the past few months but of course it is a great thing to do before another transfer. So I might try and do that again on Sunday before my ultrasound on Monday. He always knows exactly what is the best thing for me to be doing. He also said that my body is in the best possible alignment for an embryo transfer and I am maintaining a good energetic balance. So that really gave me even more hope!

Imajin99 · September 2020

@andream That sounds great! What is a yoni steam? I have never heard of it but will look it up and see if that is something I can try.
@jamieh2000 Hoping everything works in your favor now, you deserve it to go in the right direction.
@laurad75 Havea wonderful trip, so exciting for something else to think about and to get started when you return.
@c-town18 Thanks for the update, very encouraging!
@lucyb1954 Hope that nauseous gets better for you and thanks for the email update.

mbradfo2 · September 2020

Well, 2020 is certainly an interesting year. I was getting ready to get back on the boat and then DH got stabbing pains in his side thurs evening. Fri morning he went to the ER and was admitted for appendix surgery! He's coming home today but I feel like this month is just so off now between AF being so late...hard to feel excited. Not sure how he's going to feel when he gets home either. Bebe #2 has literally been the last thing on my mind these past two days! Luckily we have health insurance that no one believes exists (DH works for the state government; we pay less than 200 a month for family coverage with no deductible and low copays. Any hospital admission is $250 flat fee, rest paid by insurance. My delivery and maternity package were $300 total.) Unfortunately no coverage for IVF so the most expensive part is actually getting pregnant lol

lucyb1954 · September 2020

@c-town18 Eek! I'm so excited for you! I'm sure that must have been an absolutely heart stopping moment when they needed to bring in the other U/S equipment but I'm very happy to hear your update!

@JamieH2000 Thanks for the kind words. I honestly don't know what brought it on that day. It could be that it was Labor Day and everyone's posting photos of their kids out and about and doing things, and it took me so long just to get to ONE that I think it kind of brought on the sadness. It's also hard being kind of grounded by the nausea -- we haven't done our regular camping escapes this year after nursing my dog, and then losing him, and then the nausea, it's been kind of sucky to be indoors all the time. I'm so sorry to hear about more delays. That's just rough and so bunk. I do have high hopes for this board in November though, @radmom27 will be transferring then too so you'll have some good company. It will be good to have the info from the hysteroscopy, and I hope that maybe there are some projects or camping or something you can do in the meantime to keep your mind off of things. IF SUCKS!!!! Hugs

You're the best.

@laurad75 Oooh, what a fun trip! I'd love to go to the Smokies! I've never been either, but I've really wanted to go as well. We've mostly national parks close to us in the West, but I'd love to get out East because it's just a totally different landscape. Have fun!

@mbradfo2 Ack! Sorry about the situation with your husband! Ugh, sounds like you are being thrown off a month, but maybe you will end up having a good cycle then, plus being free of the stress of your husband's hospitalization will be good.

@andreamm31 Woot! Awesome! Let's get this party started! I have no idea what a yoni steam is, it sounds...interesting??? But that's super nice you got to get in with your old acupuncturist. I did acupuncture for my OE IVF cycles and my DE FET and I think it def helped with my FET. A big part of the reason I enjoyed it was just that my acupuncturist was a cool German lady and was just a good cheerleader for me. A lot of the time I had a really hard time letting go of anxiety and enjoying my treatments but I for sure liked her and it's good to have people in your corner!

andreamm31 · September 2020

@lucyb1954 and @lmajin99 So last year a friend of mine suggested a yoni steam (or vaginal steaming) to help cleanse, clear and tone the uterus to prepare it for getting pregnant. I saw a doula who did a womb massage and the yoni steam. She is this super intuitive Mexican woman whose grandmother taught her this ancient practice that she had been doing for others for generations and her mother and grandmother before that. She has fresh organic herbs that she grew herself, I believe it was rose petals and something else (i forget) and you put it in a clay pot of steaming water and then you either squat over it or go into like a puppies pose with your lower half elevated over the steam. You then put like a blanket or towel over you to keep all the steam inside and directed right into your lady parts. It is freaking hot and awkward, but after I felt like my periods were more normal and brighter red color. Ive read quite a few stories of women who got pregnant after doing them. And it helps clear gunk out if you have blocked fallopian tubes or retained tissue or something like that. But you are supposed to do it only in the first part of your cycle, after your period and before you ovulate. you dont want to do it after ovulation because it can affect the egg and implantation and definetly not after you get pregnant. So theres really only like a week where you can do it typically. My lady sent me home with a clay pot and a small bag of the herbs. I havent done it since march, but i definetly will do it leading up to this transfer since Im on birth control. And yes @lucyb1954, its so awesome having people in your corner who become your cheerleaders. Its like a team effort to get us pregnant!

Imajin99 · September 2020

@andreamm31 Thank you, sounds interesting and something to try. I am a firm believer in fertility massages and was getting them done by my acupuncturist and myself at home from what I had learned.

c-town18 · September 2020

andreamm31 - OMG I can't wait for updates from you and @ladyp0tter! How exciting.

@mbradfo2 - Geez, 2020 has been an interesting year indeed. Sorry about your DH, I hope he has a quick recovery and that this doesn't impact your timeline.

laurad75 - That's a promising update! Wow, I hadn't heard of Blackberry Farm and looked it up.... it looks A-MAZ-ING. I told my DH that we need to go for our 10 year anniversary now. You're gonna have a blast!

JamieH2000 · September 2020

@laurad75- wow, that trip sounds amazing. We have been to the smokies a few times, but usually stay on the NC side. Is your toddler coming along? i loved driving through Cades Cove in the park and getting to see all the animals! So much good hiking too! But the outings would def be different with a toddler

I am just so glad you are likely able to move forward soon!

@andreamm31- thinking of you today and hoping everything looks perfect on the saline!! and yayyyy for the donor getting started. so much good stuff happening!!

@mbradfo2- wow, what a weekend! Glad they caught the appendixitous. I had mine removed at 18 and its crazy how fast it can come on. Your insurance is crazy too! they just need to cover IF!!

@lucyb954- Glad you are feeling better now, but sad days are totally normal and ok! I remember the beginning of the school year being really hard on FB with everyone posting pics of their kids. Soon that will be you too!! So exciting to be moving out of the first tri. and once you start feeling better and showing, it gets alot more fun! Take lots of pics because while it feels like its going slow right now, it will go so fast!!

AFM- it was rainy and cold last week, pretty depressing. Then on top of that, found of my sister (who is due two days later than i would have been) is having a girl. We transferred a girl. Its just so hard to think about what could have been. Trying to press on and keep my head up. Me and DH are going on our first trip (just camping for 2 nights) without the toddler. I'm excited for the relaxing days and we need that time to reconnect after this last year.

laurad75 · September 2020

@JamieH2000 No toddler on our trip!!! My parents and our regular sitter are watching him. It will be the longest we've ever been away from him but he's in good hands.
I know that your sister expecting is really hard on you and you're handing it so well. There are so many women in my neighborhood that were due in Sept and now they are all having their babies and it's stung a little bit - many of them are women I got to know when we had newborns at the same time. But then one of my good friends that I used to share our nanny with announced that she was pregnant and I lost it. I don't know why this one hurt more than the others but I have been feeling bitter. It just sucks.

Imajin99 · September 2020

@JamieH2000 Hope the weather is nice and warm on your camping trip and have a wonderful time with DH.
@mbradfo2 Hope your hubby is feeling okay and recovering well.

AFM: I finally have an update to share on my Donor Cycle and its a good one

Late last week we found out that 17 of the 22 eggs that were retrieved were fertilized and made it to Day 3. This morning we got the amazing news that 13 have made it to Day 5 and are good quality blastocysts!! Still waiting fore the grading results. As you may remember this program gave us a guarantee of 4 blasts so to get this many I cannot even express my happiness and gratefulness to our donor and this program. Theses blasts will be frozen and shipped directly to my home clinic and most likely will be able to have the first transfer in November.

lucyb1954 · September 2020

@Imajin99 That is SO amazing!!! Omg, I'm so happy for you! Those are absolutely fantastic results. Are you doing PGS? Wow, good things come to those who wait!

@laurad75 I know how you feel. Pregnancy announcements are so hard. My best friend did hers before I had had my FET and even though I had known she was pregnant for at least a month, it still felt so difficult to see it on social media. You've had a rough year -- no wonder you lost it. It really sucks that it has to be so hard for some of us.

@JamieH2000 I hope you have a wonderful trip with your husband, you deserve it. I'm sure everything just stings with your sister right now...I've already mentioned my sister and her "accidents." Ugh, it's hard to have everything that close to you. I hope getting away from things helps. My savior during all this WFH stuff and laying on the couch feeling nauseous are Louise Penny mystery books. Require very little brain power, it's a good yarn, and it helps occupy my brain's worries and crap. You have a little one so you might not need anything to occupy you but I find them useful

@andreamm31 I hope everything went well with your saline ultrasound today!

c-town18 · September 2020

Imajin99 - AHHHH!! Great update! You must be over the moon.

@JamieH2000 @laurad75 - Ugh, I'm sorry you're having to deal with the pregnancy announcements around you. Hold your heads up high ladies and trust that whatever higher power you may believe in has a perfect plan for your sweet little families.

Imajin99 · September 2020

@c-town18 I could not have said it any better, still walking around in shock of such a good result.
@lucyb1954 Thank you, feel closer to our dreams. No we did not decide to do PGS testing, to be honest I didn't even think that we would get this far. It is too late now but glad we have been told about the quality being good.

JamieH2000 · September 2020

@laurad75- you have had such a rough year. I just hope one day pregnancy announcements won’t be triggering and I won’t have to feel the guilt I feel over not being excited for friends or families pregnancies. Someday soon hopefully!!

@lmajin99- omg that is suchhh a good result!! Your baby is def coming. I know it. I’m so excited for you to be able to transfer!!!

@lucyb1954- thanks for the book recos!! I really need to get back into reading now that the nice summer nights are over. Reading is such a good escape from reality.

@c-town18- it’s crazy how some days I feel at peace and ok with this journey and trusting the timing. Other days I’m such a mess. I really didn’t anticipate this time around to be so hard mentally.

laurad75 · September 2020

@JamieH2000 I also didn't anticipate this round to be so difficult. Something has got to turn around.

I did get some good news today. The nurse I usually work with was out over the weekend and she emailed me today that after my heavy bleeding this weekend she is hopeful I could finally get a negative test when I go in tomorrow. If it's negative I may be able to start my meds for the next cycle right away! We need to work around my travel for next month but they will work that into the calendar and I'll have my schedule as soon as we get down to negative. FX!

mbradfo2 · September 2020

@JamieH2000
@laurad75
Ahhhh, I'm so jealous of going on trips (Or just going out) without toddlers! My parents are our usual babysitters, but they are both doctors and are still seeing patients, so they've been social distancing seriously. My sister would probably be happy to watch our toddler for an afternoon or two, but that would be 3 children under 6 in her house which sounds crazy haha.

I still get the gut drop on pregnancy announcements since it just reminds me how easy it seems for other people. I know that's not always the reality, but I seriously never heard much about IF until I was actually facing it myself. I had always assumed I would get pregnant easily since I always had regular cycles and no known hormone/female issues.

@laurad75
Does it have to be negative? My clinic is OK if it's below 5 and all the tissue has been absorbed or expelled. I declined a D/C with my first m/c, had about one to two days of heavy bleeding and cramping about 2-3 weeks after m/c was confirmed, and that was that. Hoping that's the case for you.

AFM, DH is still in pain and fatigued from his surgical adventure and I've been doing most of everything around the house. Add in an almost 2.5 year old kiddo who has been on a tear for the past few days and I basically have to retreat into the bathroom for some quiet hhaha. Glad I work in our family's practice since they are understanding of my limitations as far as productivity are right now! Since I was already questioning the BCP before stims, my nurse thinks it would be good to take this cycle to just devise a plan and start closer to Thanksgiving or Christmas. I just have a gut feeling that my mind and body are not in the game right now, esp. after this wonky cycle.

Thanksgiving is always an emotional time for me since that's when I had my first m/c (of my first ever pregnancy after 4 years of TTC). Don't know what it will look like this year with everything that's going on.

Low AMH Level

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