WTO Tuesday 9.8

chindimples04 · September 2020

**This is a thread that welcomes all regardless of where they are at in their TTC journeys. Please be mindful of topics that are discussed that could be hurtful to those going through tough times. Mention of children or pregnancies of others should have a TW (trigger warning) and be in a spoiler if possible, and only be mentioned if it is extremely pertinent to the conversation. Thanks for keeping this a safe place for us all to engage!**

Month/Cycle:

CD:

WAYDTGKU:

R/R:

CS/Q:

bows22 · September 2020

Month/Cycle: 22/24

CD: 11

WAYDTGKU: OPKs, Tracking CM

R/R: Ugh I have been MIA this cycle so far. We had a request for a new audit with a short turnaround and while my boss & I worked out who will be doing it, it kind of put me in a funk for some reason. We also reassigned another audit in the process so I should be feeling good, but I still have so much to do that it makes me feel like I have a never ending mountain of work. I had a client emergency that put me behind and I think I’ll feel better if I can get somewhat caught up this week. Anyway, I hope everyone had a great weekend! I did a decent amount of work but we also had fun and enjoyed the gorgeous weather we had!

CS/Q:

gingermama29 · September 2020

@bows22 sorry work has been so crazy and stressful. I hope you're able to get caught up this week.

Month/Cycle: 15/10

CD: 5

WAYDTGKU: temping, prenatals, OPKs, and HIO of course

R/R: Last teacher work day before students arrive tomorrow. I have so much work to get done today and am meeting with our director of buildings and grounds to try and get students in my classroom instead of traveling on a cart. I'm stressed about how much I need to get done today and I don't have the option to stay late at school because I have my annual with my OB/GYN at 3:30. Fair warning that I likely won't check back to give responses until this evening.

CS/Q:

optimisticoctopus · September 2020

@bows22 glad you had a good weekend! The weather was beautiful here too. Hopefully you’re able to make some good headway into getting caught up with work stuff today!

Month/Cycle: 9/9

CD: 20

WAYDTGKU: temping, OPKs, PNV, baby aspirin, progesterone after O

R/R: Another positive OPK this morning woohoo! I’m so proud of myself for being able to stay relatively stress-free and minimally obsessive this cycle, so I’m hoping to be able to continue that after O. I’m thinking that’ll be tomorrow. We did not go grocery shopping as I had hoped yesterday, so one of us will have to go today after work. I’m doing everything in my power to get it to be DH that goes and not me (lol)

CS/Q:

fitzfizz · September 2020

@bows22 I’m glad you enjoyed some nice weather this weekend!

@gingermama29 Good luck with your annual, I hope everything is normal and they answer all of your questions.

Month/Cycle: 9 months since starting, cycle 2 AL

CD: 11

WAYDTGKU: tracking but TTA until results back, losing hope that they will be back in time for this cycle

R/R: **TW loss and PG**

Had a rough weekend. This weekend was supposed to be my baby shower, so we decided to do a small birthday dinner instead so that we had something to do. My brother and sister in law thought this was a great opportunity to announce that she is 5 weeks pregnant. I then spent the rest of the weekend crying and wallowing. I’m trying to be happy for them, and I am sure I will love my little niece/nephew, but I feel like them announcing this weekend was just rubbing salt in the wound.

CS/Q: uninteresting

optimisticoctopus · September 2020

@gingermama29 good luck meeting with your director today! I hope it is productive with a positive outcome.

@fitzfizz oh no, I’m so sorry that happened. Sending you so many hugs today ❤️

priyadoc · September 2020

*lurking from tww*

@fitzfizz see spoiler

I'm so so sorry, that sounds awful. I don't understand how they thought it was appropriate to share this weekend, especially since she's only 5 weeks. WTF.

daisy528 · September 2020

also lurking from TWW...

I'm so sorry @fitzfizz, continues into the spoiler

I agree with @priyadoc that of all the weekends to announce they chose this particular one?! I'm sorry. I can imagine the gut punch that must have been.

inthewoods23 · September 2020

Hi ladies!

@bows22 is your work primarily audits? Because I swear that's all you ever talk about with your job and from the very little experience I have with audits, they would get old real fast and give me a headache!

@gingermama29 GL with everything today! Hope the appointment goes well with your OB

@runningoncookies glad to hear things are going well this cycle! I'm feeling the same not using OPKs (still temping for cycle tracking purposes). With the long weekend I was thinking yesterday, holy crap I'm on CD13 already?? Easy to lose track when you're not constantly considering what CD you're on.

@fitzfizz I really hope you get those results soon! Commenting on your spoiler and sending you lots of love - *TW for PG*

Your comment that they announced her being only 5 weeks along reminds me of the time after my sister announced to me. She was due 2 days after my cousin's wife and I had heard at some point that she tested a day or 2 before July 4th. Later I had heard that my cousin and his wife had announced to my aunt and uncle that they were expecting right before or after the 4th of July party my aunt and uncle typically host every year. Hearing this my mind immediately went to wtf did you pee on a stick and tell them a few hours later or at the first possible opportunity??? Are pregnancies not a sacred thing to people? I don't get why people say anything so soon. Maybe it's my IF talking, but DH and I will want to cherish that time being the only ones that know because we have had to work hard to even try. I'm sorry your brother and SIL weren't more sensitive. Were they aware that this past weekend was when you had on having a shower?

Month/Cycle: 40

CD: 14

WAYDTGKU: temping, supplements, GF and DF diet, kinda sorta still trying to time things because I don't want the cycle to go to waste even though I need the measles vaccine

R/R: I decided just to lurk this weekend which was nice. Got a number of things done around and outside the house so that makes me happy! Glad we did that instead of visiting my parents. We did go over to my ILs to play a game which was fun, except the part where my SIL's BF was looking up guns all evening. Apparently he wants to ask the guy he sold his AR-15 if he would sell it back?? I just... I don't understand this need *eye roll*. Anyway... I kept looking up articles on measles vaccines and pregnancy and I did find one that mentioned that is a theoretical risk and not a calculated risk. So I don't think there are actual studies that have been done that show contracting measles from the vaccine (since it's live virus) is a real hazard. Makes me still want to try. Is that bad?

CS/Q: we've had the windows open in the bedroom all weekend and apparently that equates to very consistent BBT temps haha

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/bm/kk0yvvpf85cb.png

lauren_0620 · September 2020

@bows22 Glad you were still able to find time to enjoy this weekend!
@runningoncookies woo! Good for you for staying stress-free this cycle! That is a big accomplishment in and of itself

@inthewoods23 I totally get the feeling of not wanting to let any cycle "go to waste" so I understand the desire to still try this cycle!
@fitzfizz see spoiler **TW loss and PG**

I'm so sorry you had to go through that this weekend

that would be super hard and I can understand why it would be upsetting. It seems a little insensitive to announce their pregnancy the weekend that was supposed to be your baby shower. Sending you lots of hugs!

Month/Cycle: 4/4

CD: 8

WAYDTGKU: OPKs, tracking CM, HIO EOD

R/R: Today is a rainy / dreary day which is making it really hard to get back into the swing of work and feeling productive. I've been trying to stay low key and not obsessive this cycle, but we'll see how long I can keep that up once I start peeing on my OPKs in a few days lol

CS/Q: none

akoros · September 2020

Month/Cycle: 27/1 AL

CD: 16, pretty sure I'm ovulating today

WAYDTGKU: OPK strips

R/R:

Rant -- My boss's boss is in a cr*ptastic mood, which is delightful. She reviewed the final draft of a paper our team wrote, which she said was wonderful a few months ago (seriously, gushed about it), but now says it's totally awful, needs to be rewritten by Friday (arbitrary deadline, this is a project she invented) and an intern could do better. I know it's not the paper, she's stressed out by who-knows-what and taking it out on us, as she often does. Luckily she doesn't say these things directly to staff anymore, she instead rants for an hour to my boss, which is an improvement (he then talks to me because he needs to get it off his chest). Seriously, I can't think about the election anymore because I get too much anxiety worrying that they'll get re-elected and she'll decide to stay.

Rave -- Weekend was absolutely lovely. Perfect weather, had a nice relaxing trip to the "country" (really it's more exurbs these days...but there were horses and cows). If only it could have lasted longer...

CS/Q: None at the moment, no chart

bows22 · September 2020

@gingermama29 I hope you are able to get your students in your classroom! The cart thing does sound like such a pain.

@runningoncookies good luck getting out of grocery shopping haha. MH says I would get eaten alive because I don’t know the process so I haven’t had to go. We mostly do curbside though!

@fitzfizz I’m so sorry, that was so unfair to you. I don’t even know what to say but sending some love your way ❤️

@int@inthewoods23 audit and consulting, but it seems easier to just talk about the audits! Your weekend sounds like it was great! And honestly I’d be tempted to try too. Not saying you should haha but I’d always think like what if this would have been the cycle that the stars aligned.

@lauren_0620 hope your day started feeling more productive! I get that way on dreary days too especially when I’m working from home

acleverusername · September 2020

@bows22 follow-up to @inthewoods23's question: what kind of audits? Financial? I'm sorry you had to work on the weekend and still feel like you've got so much to do. That can't be helping anything as you TTC.

@gingermama29 good luck finishing up with prep and I hope your OB appointment goes well!

@runningoncookies Yay for OPK! (I'm a poet, and I didn't even know it.) I'm glad you're feeling so zen! I hope it continues all through the TWW!

@fitzfizz see spoiler b/c of curse words:

Like what in the actual fuck?! That was my reaction when I read your update. How tone deaf was that?! Do they not know what you've been through? Also, as @priaydoc pointed out... announcing at 5 weeks is a bit ballsy. I am so sorry you had to go through that this weekend. The wallowing is so justified. Sending you super hugs of support.

@inthewoods23 I missed you this weekend (had to deal with a Peggy; though @BusinessWife was the one who decisively took care of that). Anyway, I hope not engaging as you relaxed this weekend was restorative. You're in a tough position and I honestly don't know what I'd do in your case. Though I know for sure MH would want TTA. It's not the same for men and women... I hope you do what you feel is best.

@lauren_0620 good luck with keeping your cool as you start to test! It _can_ be done! But it requires so much self-control.

@akoros sounds like you had a great weekend! Anywhere that has cows and horses is the country to me. I had to look up "exurbs" even! I'm sorry about your boss's boss... Does your boss shelter you from it at least? It sucks though that she can't be professional at work.

Phew, I think I got everyone...

Month/Cycle: 8/8

CD: 13

WAYDTGKU: Clomid + IUI; plus PVN and other supplements/vitamins.

R/R: Today is definitely O; so much EWCM! (Way more than any "natural" cycles I've had since we started TTC). So, I have a hunch that this IUI is perfectly timed, so 🤞🏻. Hopefully MH's swimmers are up for the task! I'm just about to dash off now to deliver MH to the clinic for him to do his part. I had a fertility acupuncture session this AM so hopefully everything is good to go on my end.

CS/Q: might post later, when I'm on my mobile.

DoubleUp8 · September 2020

@bows22 Sorry things are so crazy. I hope you feel caught up soon.

@gingermama29 I hope you can work things out and don't have to use a cart.

@runningoncookies yay for a positive OPK! I hope you can stay low stress for the TWW too!

@fitzfizz I'm so sorry you had such a rough weekend. I can imagine how hard that was for you.

@inthewoods23 glad you had such a productive weekend.

@lauren_0620 good luck keeping it low key!

@akoros glad you had a nice weekend away. I'm sorry your boss' boss is making things so rough!

@acleverusername crossing fingers and toes for you!

Month/Cycle: 4/4

CD: 16

WAYDTGKU: OPKs (1st cycle), BBT, PNV, HIO EOD,

R/R: Like everyone else, things are busy at work. I feel like sometimes the 4 day weeks after long weekends are harder than 5 days weeks. Weather seems to be getting cooler at night, so I am hoping for good sleeping weather. Hoping to keep DH on board with EOD and that my OPKs start to darken. I switched to morning and afternoon/evening so I don't miss my surge this first time. CM and CP indicate O should be coming in the next few days; it would be nice for OPK and BBT to back that up.

CS/Q: edit to add chart

lauren_0620 · September 2020

@acleverusername so exciting! Sending positive vibes your way!🤞🤞

akoros · September 2020

@acleverusername My boss definitely takes the brunt of it for the purpose of shielding everyone else. I'm his senior advisor, which is why he vents/confides in me, he definitely doesn't want to tell anyone else the type of stuff she says to him (even for me he often tames it down). Agree that it's a shame that she can't control herself, she's a political appointee so we're all just hoping we can hang on long enough to outlast her

inthewoods23 · September 2020

@lauren_0620 yes the weather has totally made me feel like not working too! Hard to come back to work from such a nice weekend weather-wise

@akoros your boss's boss sounds like so much fun

@bows22 that's essentially how I feel right now because the EWCM was practically *TMI* gushing out of me yesterday and I didn't want to waste the CM if the stars were finally aligning!

I've never had it like that before! I thought I had either peed myself or was sweating, but nope, just a heck of a lot of CM. I'll probably wait for Thursday for another HIO so DH doesn't quite suspect it since it won't be EOD.

@acleverusername I almost thought about responding to that Peggy because omg how have you not gone to a doctor with periods like that? Didn't she say she'd bleed through every hour or something? Hope everything goes to plan with this IUI!

@DoubleUp8 we just started having our windows open, it's been so nice! My favorite sleeping condition is feeling perfectly warm under the covers with a nice cool breeze on my face.

fitzfizz · September 2020

Update for everyone: I’ll be back after work for tags.

TW for subject matter:

My brother and sister in law did not know about this being the weekend we had planned for the shower. They did know it was my birthday as the announcement was ~3 minutes after we did the cake on the same call. They know the full details of what happened and they know that we are still waiting on genetics results and are very nervous about it. I really do like them both and wish them the best with this pregnancy, I am trying to give them the benefit of the doubt that they are just young and excited and didn’t think this through. I also think considering what happened to me it is ballsy to announce so early, but again, that is on them.

mindyb2019 · September 2020

@fitzfizz I’m so very sorry that your weekend was rough because of the Pg announcement. That would have been tough after what you went through. I would have felt the same as you after what I went through too. Sorry girl. Sending you lots of hugs and love ❤️ it’s ok to not feel happy for them right now.

akoros · September 2020

@fitzfizz Meant to respond earlier, but in the spoiler because of the *TW*

I'm so sorry about their ill-timed announcement. They probably have no idea how insensitive and painful it is. Honestly, I really only think those who have dealt with IF or loss can relate. Earlier this summer I remember my mom kept excitedly telling me about her old friend's new grandchild, who was born around the EDD for my TFMR (her son is about my age, I'd talked to him years ago about career stuff since we're in a similar field, which is why my mom thought I'd actually care). She's usually very perceptive and empathetic, but in this case had no clue. She just thought happy news = makes people happy!
Also, it's totally ok to not feel happy for them right now. Rationally you know that you're happy for them and want the best, but it's ok if you're not there emotionally yet. I'm still having a hard time really feeling the joy for other people myself. I know it's there, but don't really "feel it" in most cases.

akoros · September 2020

@inthewoods23 There must have been something in the air yesterday, my CM was also totally crazy

gingermama29 · September 2020

@runningoncookies yay for a positive OPK! I hope you were successful in getting YH to shop today 😂

@fitzfizz so sorry for the trigger this weekend. That's so hard. Hugs to you.

@inthewoods23 ugh I'm so with you on the gun thing. I'm sorry you're struggling with the vaccine issue. I hope you can come to a decision that you'll be at peace with.

@lauren_0620 I hope your day improved and you were able to be productive.

@akoros ugh sorry about your boss. That's so frustrating when they take out their stress on others.

@acleverusername crossing everything for you!!

@DoubleUp8 4 day work weeks definitely feel longer to me too! I'm loving that the weather is finally getting cooler.

bows22 · September 2020

@acleverusername Yay for a perfectly timed IUI! I saw your update in the IF thread though so I’m sorry about the numbers, but still so hopeful for you that this is it! And yes to answer your question, financial statement audits.

@DoubleUp8 the wait for the positive OPK during EOD is the worst! Hope yours start to turn soon!

@fitzfizz I just wish they would have given you a heads up over text first. You didn’t deserve to be blindsided. I’m sorry ❤️

fitzfizz · September 2020

@runningoncookies Congratulations on being relatively non-obsessive! I know that is hard for a lot of us on here.

@priyadoc, @lauren_0620, and @daisy528 Thanks for the support. I’m trying to remind myself that they are just excited and I know it was in no way intended to be hurtful. Still sucks.

@inthewoods23 My vote would be for you to still try. The risk from the vaccine is super low. I could see why they would not want to do any treatments right now, but if this is the month that works naturally for you, I say that baby is meant to be!

@akoros I am jealous of your nice weather. At one point we were supposed to get a cool front this week, but it seems to have disappeared.

TW

My mom is the same way as yours. She was so happy that I think she also didn’t think that I might be upset. Just thought that everything is good news. I want her to be able to be unreservedly happy about this, so I would never say anything to her, but I am pretty upset that she knew they were going to announce and didn’t warn me. I know she had a really hard time with my TFMR, so I want her to be able to be happy, but I think part of why I am so upset about this is thinking (completely illogically I’m sure) that she is going to be more happy for them because they likely won’t have to do that.

@acleverusername I read your update in the IF thread. I hope everything was successful anyway! It only takes one Michael Phelps sperm!

@doubleup8 Good luck with the OPKs. I find them weirdly exciting because you can see what is happening in real time.

@mindyb2019 Thanks ❤️❤️ I know you had a rough day today as well. Feel free to send a PM if you need anything.

inthewoods23 · September 2020

@fitzfizz as my internet PCP I appreciate your input

I don't want to completely avoid trying. Plus I'm so surprised that DH would very much like to avoid when he knows naturally conceiving or by IUI is our only chance right now at having a boy since all our embryos are girls. It's something he very much wants so *shrug*. I also just want to be doing something so I'm not sitting around waiting for 2 months.

acleverusername · September 2020

I'm going to c&p my IUI update from the IF channel:

I'll start off with a gif since I've been thinking of doing that all morning:

Argh - so, DH's sperm count wasn't great, so I guess I can add MFI back to our cause of infertility. Total total count of the initial sample was 6.33 (vol 2.5; concentration 11M/ml; motility 23%). They didn't even do a wash. 🙁 This is very different from the SA results from June of this year, and health wise, things have only gotten better for both of us (DH has lost 11lbs since his SA; and he's been taking lots of vitamins to help with count and motility). I'm trying to stay hopeful, but the reality is that I had expected completely different results. I'm reading the FertilityIQ course on IUI, and a wash would have reduced the count by as much as 30%; this clinic has a cut off of 5M.

Anyway, we'll see how this cycle goes; it's going to be hard to stay positive though. If we're unsuccessful, we definitely need to have a chat w/ the RE again and possibly with the reproductive urologist on staff. @misshelen86 I might DM you since you'd offered it back when I first raised the MFI issue in July.

For context, previous results were:

Dadi kit results (at home test; Jun 2019) were: concentration = 31.4MIL/ml, volume = 2.5ml; motility = 4.8%
SA results (Jun 2020) were: concentration = 48MIL/ml (just below the normal range for 50-150MIL/ml), volume = 3ml; motility 48% (normal is 60% and above).

Update to the update:

I know that it only takes one swimmer, and I guess the only positive thing in the semen analysis was that MH's swimmer were "Moving Fast Forward"; a score of 3 and the WHO 5th edition normal range is 2-4. Plus, we definitely correct any me-side issues with Clomid + trigger. So, I will endeavor to remain positive even though today, I'm feeling like I did when I got a 49% on my Calculus mid-term in 1st year of college (i.e. prepped so hard, but failed by 1%).

Honestly though this report was very different from the one we got when he did his SA. For e.g. it doesn't have morphology; just has a section called "round cells" which may be the same thing? That measurement isn't great either though... < 1M/ml. Super sigh.

acleverusername · September 2020

@inthewoods23 LOL at @fitzfizz being your internet PCP.

@fitzfizz I know that deep down you are happy for your brother and SIL because you're a good person. But agreed that a heads up, especially from your mom, would have been great. Just remember, take all the time you need to wallow before your happiness for them takes over.

acleverusername · September 2020

@DoubleUp8 Missed you in my tags! I hope that OPK turns positive soooooon! FX.

acleverusername · September 2020

@mindyb2019 did I miss an update from you today?

chindimples04 · September 2020

Today was insane and I have no energy to give, but want to stop by and say hi and send hugs to everyone. I read through all your updates. ❤️ But today with kids was a complete shit show and I’m drained. Sending creepy Internet love to you all!

acleverusername · September 2020

Right back at you @chindimples04

bmo88 · September 2020

Month/Cycle: 2/2 not trying until November though

CD: 3

WAYDTGKU: just trying to relearn my cycle post Mirena

R/R: we went from a record high to a record low in our state and it snowed. I worked so hard to have a garden this year that was finally taking off...now it's covered in blankets and I hope it survives. 🥺

CS/Q: nope

bmo88 · September 2020

gingermama29 said:

@bows22 sorry work has been so crazy and stressful. I hope you're able to get caught up this week.

Month/Cycle: 15/10

CD: 5

WAYDTGKU: temping, prenatals, OPKs, and HIO of course

R/R: Last teacher work day before students arrive tomorrow. I have so much work to get done today and am meeting with our director of buildings and grounds to try and get students in my classroom instead of traveling on a cart. I'm stressed about how much I need to get done today and I don't have the option to stay late at school because I have my annual with my OB/GYN at 3:30. Fair warning that I likely won't check back to give responses until this evening.

CS/Q:

Sending positive vibes and hugs on day one! We are on break all week and return with students next week, but definitely understand the feeling of getting ready for Day 1!

bmo88 · September 2020

@acleverusername sorry the SA wasn't what you were hoping for, but hopefully the fast moving forward sperm is a good thing! Sorry I dont know much about all the terminology, but it seems like a lot and wishing for the best!

akoros · September 2020

@fitzfizz Oof...I totally hear what you're saying on the illogical thoughts, I have tons of my own (in the spoiler):

I'm thankfully an only child (so no "competition"), but am starting to worry that my in-laws either won't be that happy or just not be that into it if I get pregnant again since we've now twice ripped the rug out from under them. They already have two grandchildren, who arrived perfectly, I feel like ours brings too much drama. Another part of my personal "pity party" on Monday also had to do with feeling isolated from my friends, and I can't help but think that it's only natural that we're growing apart, as they all have kids and we don't. We don't have anything to offer them, of course they'll be closer with each other than they are with us. I know these are all irrational, but I can't help it.

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