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April 2021 Moms
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Birth Plan?

aguamalaaguamala member
in April 2021 Moms
Might be too soon but it is definitely on my mind!  Please no judgement as we all know whatever mom wants is the best choice for baby 

DD: 4/22

FTM/STM/TTM: STM

What does your ideal birth situation look like: I am a big fan of water births.  I was planning on having one in the states for my first with my husband present but he couldn't get his visa in time so I decided to just fly down to Mexico 8 months pregnant to have her there.  I was so lucky to find and amazing obgyn that was pioneering water births in my husband's hometown.  My daughter's birth was a week early and happened way faster than anyone expected. It was 8 hours total from when I started feeling contractions. Although it hurt like hell and was a wild ride (no meds) the actual delivery was pretty peaceful since I was way more calm in the tub and felt less frantic after I knew I could start pushing.  Very lucky to have a complication free birth.  

For this time around I obviously want to have a water birth but unfortunately there are no hospitals/clinics that offer it in my area :neutral: There are a few midwives that offer water births but they don't accept our insurance and paying out of pocket isn't an option for us.  The good thing is that our local hospital (where the obgyns at our family clinic practice) has a wonderful birthing wing with really nice rooms (jetted tubs) etc and really great nursing staff.  I am definitely nervous about a dry delivery (wondering if it will hurt more or if I will tear more).  

Would love to hear what you all are thinking about this topic :smile:
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Re: Birth Plan?

  • stephnartstephnart member
    DD: 4/17
    FTM/STM/TTM: FTM 

    I'm not even sure what to imagine! I definitely wish to have a VB, and I've always imagined the birth would be done at the hospital with an epidural because I don't have a high pain tolerance. But I'm also nervous about the size of the needle, so I don't know what I'll do haha. I do have a lot of family members and friends who have chosen to schedule a c-section, and a lot have said it was a worry-free event "like checking in and out of a hotel" lol. So I guess I'm not sure yet, but I'm trying to keep an open-mind and wanting to learn about the different options I can have. :)  
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  • stephnartstephnart member
    @aguamala Wow, very memorable! What an amazing story, that is so exciting and sounds like such an experience. Water births seem so cool! 
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  • aguamalaaguamala member
    @stephnart Yeah the pain is real! The thing that helped me get through it is knowing that it was productive pain, rather than injury pain.  I am considering an epidural but there are some drawbacks like limited mobility, more intervention, nausea, etc. that I am opposed to.  It is so great that you are keeping an open mind!  Child birthing classes definitely helped me figure out what was the best option for me with my first.  Planned C-sections are a good option for high-risk births.  I don't know if it would be worth it for moms who aren't high risk since the surgery is really intense and from what I've heard, the recovery time is definitely more than just a stay in a hotel.  Then again, sometimes women have trauma that is triggered by pain or by vaginal delivery so having a planned c-section might be their best option. Either way, I'm not the one to tell anyone what their best option is.  
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  • kvh22kvh22 member
    @stephnart I was pretty worried about the epidural before my first but my anesthesiologist (same one both times) was awesome. I never even looked at the needle (it goes in your back so you don't see it). They numb the area first so I didn't feel more than a pinch and the relief was almost instantaneous. The worst part IMO is that you have to get saline (I don't mind the saline but hate the needle in my arm). I considered not doing the epidural for my second but then I was GBS positive so had to have the saline lock either way.

    Mine is pretty simple: At a hospital, vaginal birth if possible while keeping mom and baby healthy. Likely an epidural but will see how fast labor is. No episiotomy if possible. Delayed cord clamping if possible, skin to skin right away if possible. Golden hour if possible. (DD1 had meconium so we couldn't do delayed clamping, skin to skin immediately, or golden hour technically although she was given to me pretty quickly after she was checked out and cleaned up).

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Baby Tracker

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  • stephnartstephnart member
    edited September 2020
    @aguamala It's just amazing how there are so many things to think about and be really really thoughtful of. Birthing is really no walk in the park, I can't wrap my head around it. But I definitely plan on taking some classes. Thanks for the insight, I'm taking all the knowledge that I can 
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  • cagncoo12cagncoo12 member
    @stephnart I had a very similar experience with my epidural as kvh22. It was so incredibly nervous, but really I barely felt a pinch, and i had to have it placed twice due to it failing on one side the first time. 

    My birth plan is also pretty simple. My goal is to make it to 37 weeks without Pre-E, but regardless I will be in a hospital, with an epidural. If i have to be induced early and have Pre-E again, I will go with the flow but have a growing list of food for DH to get for me once i'm allowed to eat. 
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  • bblair24bblair24 member
    This will be my third delivery. My goal is always just a safe and healthy experience for both of us. This is just me, but I feel like the more expectations I go in with, the more likely I am to be disappointed. 

    My first I had an epidural and it was seriously amazing. My second I tried for an epidural but it all happened so fast, the epidural didn’t work. 😂 So that was less amazing, but at least now I know I can manage it! My preference is for an epidural and no stitches if possible. Those stitches made the healing process much slower the first time around! 

    @stephnart I never saw my epidural needle either! Everyone helped me sit up and the anesthesiologist got to work. The worst part for me was that a contraction came as he was inserting the needle. I had to sit completely still which was not easy. He honestly had zero bedside manner but he was my hero. Even my OB later said how awful his personality is. 😂
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  • stephnartstephnart member
    I'm glad to hear from everyone that the epidural isn't too bad. Phew, thats a relief!

    @kvh22 That saline sounds scary...and you sound like a pro with that birth plan! Like I said before, so many things to think of. It didn't even cross my mind about the cord clamping, how soon skin to skin would be, GBS....it really all is dependent on the birth, unique to each person.  :o

    @cagncoo12 To have it poked twice, glad it just felt like a pinch then! :s   

    @bblair24 Geez, what are the chances to contract while they're trying to stick a giant needle in you?! Sorry the Anesthesiologist was a butt 😂
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  • kelseyyhkelseyyh member
    I kept my birth plan chill last time & intend to this time. 

    I like watching a movie while things are picking up, playing music, using heat packs / electric blankets. I think I want to stay in motion more, as with DS, it was once I stopped moving that I really started to feel crappy. I go in with the thought that anything can happen - if I need drugs, great, if I don’t, great. Goals are to not be induced this go round. Being hooked up made me unable to chill in the tub for a bit, or be as mobile as I wanted (though epidural was the main reason to impact mobility). I also want hubby & my Mom there like last time, but I think Mom’s going to have to sit out depending on covid. 

    Okay this isn’t to poo-poo on epidurals, because I will get one in a heartbeat if I need it in the moment. But, mine was not a perfect epidural by any means. I felt nothing “down there”, but I did have back labour & felt the contractions on one side for sure. It was still relief though. There was a hiccup with the needles - I think they messed up the freezing in my back...so they put in a needle and I jumped and it was a freaky moment, but all was well. 

    I felt so empowered while pushing. Like @aguamala said, it was a productive pain. After being coached through the first contraction, I felt in total control & loved it.

    I had a second degree tear with DS, so I’d love to not have that again LOL!! Main hope is to actually go into labour, and not be induced and delivering 9 days late 😂. 
    Hubby & Me: Born 1993
    Married: August 2013
    Son: December 2018
    Baby in heaven: February 2020, was due Sept



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  • forevertiredforevertired member
    My plan for my first was pretty basic; yes to an epidural, delayed cord clamping and skin to skin right after. I'd say my plan is the same, but this time I am prioritizing a doula. If it comes down to it and I can only have one person in the room with me due to covid, it'll just be me and the doula. I have some PTSD from my first. 
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  • eahayeseahayes member

    DD: 4/2

    FTM/STM/TTM: STM

    What does your ideal birth situation look like: My first came fast and I almost didn't make it to the hospital- birth plan is only to be at the hospital and get an epidural! 
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  • mamabee1113mamabee1113 member
    edited September 2020
    DD: 4/11

    FTM/STM/TTM: STM

    What does your ideal birth situation look like: Without going into details because I don't want my very odd situation making at FTM nervous, I was very little the same as my first. I really don't have a plan right now because everything will depend on this baby's size so I wont make any decisions until much later. I will say a planned CS is absolutely not out of the question for me.
    ETA: I just realized I didn't really answer the question right.. it asked "ideal." So my IDEAL situation would be firstly safe and health mom and baby is top priority, secondly in hospital, active until epidural, short labor/quick pushing, vaginal, no tear, no assistance (forceps, vacuum, etc), skin-to-skin, delayed cord clamping.
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • anarmillay92918anarmillay92918 member
    Anyone have any recommended reading on these different methods/post birth practices (like skin-to-skin)? As a FTM I'm already dreading the pain of giving birth, but I also want to be able to research so I can go in with eyes wide open. Any resources would be greatly appreciated!
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  • aguamalaaguamala member
    @anarmillay92918 Here are some resources that helped me.  Happy reading! 

    The Thinking Woman’s Guide To A Better Birth by Henci Goer 

    Birthing From Within by Pam England

    Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin

    Childbirth Without Fear by Grantly Dick-Read


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  • juliebird6juliebird6 member
    Does anyone have experience with a planned CS? I'd love to hear your thoughts on how to make this birth plan a peaceful, positive experience.
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  • kvh22kvh22 member
    @anarmillay92918 I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Mindful Birthing (I think that's what it's called). I was always planning a hospital birth, likely with an epidural but I still found reading the stories helpful in Ina May's guide to childbirth (which is about a birth center and has some graphic images). Mindful birthing I got from the library and was written by a doula.
    I've also been listening to this podcast (literally called pregnany podcast  :D) and am liking it. I haven't listened to this specific episode but this is specifically on birth plans which might help and be a bit more easily consumable: https://pregnancypodcast.com/episode49/. You can also give your email address and get a copy of her birth plan.
    I also really like expecting better and cribsheet by emily oster. Expecting better is the pregnancy one and cribsheet is essentially babies first year but starts at birth with a chapter on the first 3 days (newborn baths, circumcision, blood and hearing tests, rooming in, infant weight loss, jaundice, delayed cord clamping, vitamin k shot, and antibiotics in the eye). Expecting better has a chapter on birth plans. Her approach is to present the data to you so you can make your decision. I think she presents it well. As opposed to the books above (Ina May's and mindful birthing) which have obvious perspectives, hers is written so that two different people can read it and come to their own conclusion. She's not overly trying to convince you one way or the other. I'm a data junky so it could be a lot for some. If you'd rather read on specific types of delivery methods, there are various books on hypnobirthing, the bradley method, and a few others, I think. I haven't read any of those, myself, though.

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Baby Tracker

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  • kelseyyhkelseyyh member
    @aguamala @kvh22 Thanks for the resources! I think someone suggested Ina May to me last time & I probably just briefly glanced. I think I will likely do more reading this time around since I feel that Mama Bird nesting instinct waaaay more. 

    Does the nesting urge = girl? Lol. I did nothing when pregnant with DS. 😂
    Hubby & Me: Born 1993
    Married: August 2013
    Son: December 2018
    Baby in heaven: February 2020, was due Sept



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  • aguamalaaguamala member
    @kelseyyh  Oh man I don't know!  I didn't have any nesting urges with my first who was a girl. I honestly was too tired and lazy to do intensive cleaning.  I also was living abroad when I had her so maybe I just didn't feel like I needed to nest into a place that wasn't my real nest.  
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  • anarmillay92918anarmillay92918 member
    @kvh22 Thank you so much! Those are all so helpful! 
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  • kelseyyhkelseyyh member
    @aguamala I have wondered if that’s the real reason I didn’t nest! Similar situation. We moved across country and bunked with family. After a few months, we moved into a rental owned by family that was still undergoing renos (but I was ready to be in my own space again lol). That’s when I got my BFP for DS. Perhaps the moving stress & it not being a forever home made me have zero nesting instinct.

    We’ve owned our current home for a year now though & are much more rooted. All the nesting urges lately. I was sweeping our outside walkway in the dark last night because apparently that was when the mood hit 😂. 
    Hubby & Me: Born 1993
    Married: August 2013
    Son: December 2018
    Baby in heaven: February 2020, was due Sept



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  • aguamalaaguamala member
    @kelseyyh lol! pass some of that along!  my husband keeps hoarding ugly furniture from his remodel projects (works in general contracting) and all I want to do is take it all to the dump.  I am just too exhausted to do anything around the house these days.  
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  • kadeephdkadeephd member
    @stephnart I wasn't sure I wanted an epidural with my first, but I got one and it was AMAZING.  I was in so much pain beforehand that I barely thought about the needle, and after it kicked in a few minutes later it was just the best.

    The hospital I'm delivering at this time offers nitrous oxide, and I'm excited to try that out.  I'm still planning to get an epidural unless labor goes really fast. I heard the nitrous helps you not freak out about the pain as much so I'm hoping to use that as soon as I get admitted, then wait til it gets more intense (but not unbearable) for the epidural.  Last time I definitely waited too long to ask for the epidural.

    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • givemeallthefood123givemeallthefood123 member
    For my DD, before my 39 week appointment I lost my mucus plug, then had contractions all day at work. I finally went to the hospital around 6pm, had my epidural around 9pm or so and then had my daughter at 2:30am. One push (that I never even felt) and she was out- no tears or anything! It was the dream delivery for me and that’s what I hope to experience this time around as well! The only downfall was that I had horrible dead legs from the epidural. I am hoping to have a fast, easy, painless delivery again with skin on skin immediately after delivery. 
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