PGAL Check in Week of 08/31

kelseyyh · August 2020

This thread is for anyone who has experienced loss at any point in pregnancy or experienced the loss of a child. ((Please feel free to share your loss story if you haven’t already.)) Also a general TW (trigger warning) in that previous losses will likely be discussed in this thread.

How far along are you?

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)?

Any upcoming appointments?

GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool)

bblair24 · August 2020

How far along are you?

5 weeks and 5 days (I think)

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)?

Symptom wise, nauseous and exhausted. Not sleeping great at night!

Mentally, I'm weirdly grateful to feel sick all the time because this is how pregnancy is for me and it makes me feel as though this one will stick. But every cramp/twinge/backache I feel, I worry that something is going wrong. I think this is just first tri for me, unfortunately.

Any upcoming appointments?
September 16! Ultrasound and meeting with the OB for the first time. I'm about to start counting down the days.

GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool)

Back to school shopping was always my favorite

I loved school supplies so much (still do actually, it's a bit of an obsession haha) so that was the best thing ever! And getting to shop for new clothes was exciting too. I guess I haven't changed much in the past couple decades.

kelseyyh · August 2020

@bblair24 School supplies are the best!! I’m also feel so grateful for symptoms ❤️.

How far along are you?
7 weeks, 3 days based on LMP.

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)?
I am getting symptoms now - I had to dump a full plate of food the other day because it disgusted me. I thought I’d let myself have a junk food day yesterday but apparently baby doesn’t like lol.

I’m honestly so so nervous though. My HCG numbers are going up...but no longer doubling. I have no idea what they were like with DS or my loss, as this is the first time I’ve been logging them twice a week. I know a slow rise can mean nothing....but maybe it means something...

#rant...
I mentioned in the announcements thread that my friends are moving their Bachelor/Bachelorette from September & wanted to do the start of May. Hubby ended up telling his best friend that we are expecting again & wouldn’t be able to make early May. It stressed me out to tell them, but the whole thing actually triggered me about loss.

Back in January, when we were pregnant with my loss and so excited, we were due September 18. Our friends told us during that time about the original party date & their original wedding date (both supposed to be this September). I was being cagey about being able to go away for the party then, but just blamed it on how our DS was still little. I was glad we never told them, because we found out about the losing that baby a few weeks later.

But now, it’s the exact same event, and it was being planned for right around this due date. I started crying when my husband got off the phone with his best friend. I said that it feels like it’s all happening all over again -where we make plans around a due date secretly, but then the due date won’t work out. I felt crazy saying it...but I was so sad. Now that his friend knows, they moved the date, but obviously I’m just stressed that I’ll lose another baby.

Any upcoming appointments?
- HCG testing twice a week
- Doctor next Wednesday (09/09)
- Ultrasound two weeks from today (09/14)

GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool)
I loved taking a first day of school picture with my 3 siblings ❤️. I also remember that the year I started junior kindergarten, my big sister left her grade one class to come check on me 🥰. I was so happy and had already forgotten I had asked her to lol. (Ontario, Canada is weird haha & they have a junior kinder & senior kinder in elementary. So we start at 3.5 or 4 - so young!)

thedomesticgeek · August 2020

@kelseyhh I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I know exactly how you feel, this pregnancy is exactly the same timing as my loss and it makes it seem like it could happen all over again. It seems irrational, but it's something I can't get out of my head. Both pregnancies I was pregnant in August, 12 weeks in October, due in April, eek. During our big loss I told my husband I was pregnant on his 30th birthday and last week was my 30th birthday. It's just eerie.

bblair24 · August 2020

@kelseyyh and @thedomesticgeek, I’m sorry for the similarities and reminders. ❤️ I was thinking the other day how all of my due dates have been at the end of the month, somewhere in the 20s, including the baby we lost. This time I’m due the 28th. I was wishing it could have been a different number just to stand out and so I wouldn’t have to think about that again.

thedomesticgeek · August 2020

How far along are you? 6 weeks 3 days

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)?
Nausea has gotten more intense, which I'm so thankful for, but also holy crap I'm eating so many snacks to curb the feeling I don't even wanna know how much I weigh right now. 😬 Still cramping, worse when I haven't drank enough or need to 💩. I'm so tired and find I'm doing better when I take an afternoon nap instead of fighting it.

Any upcoming appointments? 9/9 ultrasound 9/10 appointment.

I told another relative today, I told my hair stylist last week. Everytime I tell someone I feel like I'm going to start spotting immediately, I just can't get out of my own head. I'm telling a few people because we're moving so soon and we won't be able to tell everyone in person.

GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool)
My grandma would get frosted cinnamon raisin bread for the first day of school, I loved that! ❤️

honeybee1984 · August 2020

How far along are you? 7 weeks, 2 days

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? I'm tired. Nauseous throughout the day and sore breasts. I'm constantly worried that something bad will happen.

Any upcoming appointments? Confirmation appointment on the 10th. I'm counting down the days.

GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? (Or back to homeschool) Picking out my outfit for the first day, lol!

kelseyyh · August 2020

@bblair24 @thedomesticgeek It sure stinks having all of these reminders. 💔. I suppose my three due dates have all been in the teens (though I’m assuming my loss would have come later & that this babe will too - DS was 41+2). The 30th birthday & same month being due would definitely throw me as well. Sorry you ladies are feeling this way as well. I just hope all of our ultrasounds bring reassurance.

goldpolkadot · September 2020

@thedomesticgeek that’s crazy - this pregnancy is the exact same timing for me too! Found out I was pregnant right after my birthday in August (same), was supposed to have first appointment early September (first appt is 9/11 this time), due mid-april (same). Its a little 😳😳

kelseyyh · September 2020

@goldpolkadot Hugs all around 💕. It’s a tough tough process. I remember scrolling past the PGAL threads, never opening them, when I was pregnant with DS. Oh to be blissful again.

stephnart · September 2020

@kelseyyh I'm sorry you have to go through this. I wish there was something to just make the worries go away

thedomesticgeek · September 2020

@goldpolkadot I'm sorry you're going through the same thing timing wise. It just feels so weird.

I'm thinking I'll feel a lot better after my ultrasound and appointment next week. With the loss I was going through a midwife and didn't have an ultrasound until we discovered the missed misscarriage at 12 weeks. Praying hard to see that heartbeat.

kelseyyh · September 2020

@thedomesticgeek Good luck at your appointments next week! Keep us posted ❤️.

bblair24 · September 2020

I’ll be praying for you @thedomesticgeek! What day is your appointment?

lovemyducks · September 2020

How far along are you? 6W 5D

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Tired... so so tired. Just started to experience some nausea and got some sour candies to suck on. The tatas are not so great either. That said, as a PGAL member, I am welcoming these symptoms with open arms. I’m also way more cranky than I remember with DS. 🤔

Any upcoming appointments? U/S on 9/14. We did IVF and will be 8 weeks at the time of apt.

GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? Back to school shopping (inclusive of school supplies and clothing.)

peppylilfoxy · September 2020

How far along are you? 7 weeks today (based on egg retrieval date)

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? EXHAUSTED and crazy nauseous. I never thought I would be so thankful to feel so crappy. With all my previous pregnancies (all losses), I barely had any symptoms. With my son (who we also lost but he was the only one that made it to full term) I only got nauseous around week 13 and it lasted a week and I was never this tired. With this one, I am waking up in the middle of the night to pee, I am nauseous, I am tired, and I am puking (I have never puked from pregnancy before!).

Any upcoming appointments? U/S on 9/11. I'm so nervous. I just want to hear a strong heartbeat. I have PTSD with pregnancy ultrasounds since my last one was 3 years ago while I was in labour and the nurses were rushing around and the doctor was asking me when the last time I felt my son move was (he was moving just the night before and had a strong heartbeat 3 days prior) because there was no heartbeat and he had passed away.

GTKY: Favourite back to school memory as a kid? As a kid??? I still love back to school!!! As a teacher, I love shopping for back to school clothes and school supplies! 🥰

thedomesticgeek · September 2020

My ultrasound is Wednesday morning, but my appointment isn't until Thursday evening. So I'm hoping that this hospital is a good one where the ultrasound tech is allowed to tell us things they see. Otherwise we'll have to wait a whole day to find out if everything is looking good. I feel like my whole life has been a waiting game lately.

@peppylilfoxy I completely get the ultrasound PTSD I can't even look at other people's ultrasounds and hate when people share them online. It just brings me back to looking at our unmoving baby on the ultrasound, and it's horrible. Praying you have a strong heartbeat at your ultrasound!

peppylilfoxy · September 2020

@thedomesticgeek 💕💕 I hope your ultrasound tech tells you what they see. 🤞🤞 I would HATE to have to wait a whole day. Thankfully my doctor is doing my ultrasound, so I know she'll communicate with me. The only crappy thing is that because of covid, my husband isn't allowed to come into the clinic for the ultrasound with me. Going by myself scares me.

kelseyyh · September 2020

@thedomesticgeek Our clinic is like that too! They perform the whole ultrasound & show you at the end. So I did see my baby with DS & a random radiologist came in when I had my missed M/C to tell me the news. But actual details had to wait till my doctor. I pray for a happy healthy little bean at your ultrasound.

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