Trying to Get Pregnant

September 2020 Mental Health Check-In

U.S: National Suicide Prevention :  1-800-273-TALK [8255]

Chat option:   https://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx

Link to Canadian Resources:  https://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/

 

This is a safe place for more detailed support in mental health, struggles, and successes.  Whereas general stress and issues are often discussed in R/R of dailies, this place is for a more focused discussion of the impact of mental health.  Members are encouraged to use thoughtfulness and depth to examine feelings, barriers, and useful supports. 

 

This post can be replied to at any time during the month. Not limited to those with a mental health diagnosis, but please be sensitive to others. We will attempt to be as flame free as possible!

Feel free to share, vent, or support other members on this thread. Share a picture/gif that expresses how you feel or provides some comfort. 

If you need help getting started, consider filling out the form below:

Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:

Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):

How are you feeling?

Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)

*TW* History
TTC #1 since 7.2017
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

IUI #1-3 all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
DS born 7.19.22 after induction


TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC ended due to filing divorce

**New relationship starting May 2024**

Surprise BFP!! | 9.7.25 | EDD 5.11.26
Its Gonna Be May GIFs  Tenor

Re: September 2020 Mental Health Check-In

  • Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: Depression, anxiety, gloom

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): TTA I guess 🤷‍♀️ will we actually? Probably not

    How are you feeling? I'm thinking about all the negative things that have occurred recently. It's bumming me out. I again just feel forever stuck in life. Nothing is changing. Gives me "why even bother with anything" vibes. I just feel like I can't share anything with people. I have felt so misunderstood all my life, why would I share my deepest darkest secrets with anyone?

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) A little bit of everything. I keep going back and forth between believing my meds are working and not working. It's also just been a rough day *sigh*. Well, really the last week or 2 has been rough. I'm having a hard time staying positive
    *TW* History
    TTC #1 since 7.2017
    Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

    IUI #1-3 all BFN
    IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
    FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
    RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
    FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
    2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
    Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
    TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

    Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
    Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
    Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
    Bloodwork | 10.21.21 high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
    BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
    DS born 7.19.22 after induction


    TTC #2 begins 6.2023
    Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
    Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
    Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
    Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
    Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
    Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
    Repeat labs in 8 weeks
    Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
    TTC ended due to filing divorce

    **New relationship starting May 2024**

    Surprise BFP!! | 9.7.25 | EDD 5.11.26
    Its Gonna Be May GIFs  Tenor
  • Loading the player...
  • Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: Idk if this is what this thread is for....but stress and frustration from dealing with a direct report who is a narcissist (hate to pathologize, but the description fits to a tee).

    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): TTA/Not TTC yet....but a hormonal wreck at times due to the very real mirena crash.

    How are you feeling? This direct report has become increasingly aggressive, manipulative and cruel in our one-on-one meetings and then gaslights me when I call him out. I am working to see if his contract can not be renewed or ended early, but he acts like a perfectly nice person in group meetings and around others. So I seem like the crazy one if I mention small things to others. He literally told me some things did not happen (that I have confirmed with others did actually happen), so it's like he is trying to make me feel and seem crazy.

    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)

    Trying to find support from one of my mentors and figure out next steps to bring an end to this. The individual does not receive feedback at all, so talking to them does no good.
  • Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: Type 2 bipolar disorder, anxiety, PTSD
    Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): WTO
    How are you feeling? This week was a very heavy and processy week. I learned a lot but I also discovered how important it's going to be over the next few months to find a therapist.
    Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) Actively searching for a therapist starting next week. Hopefully I'll find someone by the end of the month.

    @inthewoods23 I'm so sorry you're having a hard time staying positive and looking forward to the future. I hope things look up!
    @bmo88 I really hope you can find solutions to what's going on soon. That seems like a really difficult situation to be in.
    TTC History- *TW* LC
    Me: 24 Dh: 46
    Married: 10.2018
    DS #1: 06.2014
    Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), Emergency C-Section
    MC: 03.2017- 5 Weeks
    Rainbow DS #2: 07.2018
    HG, 19w Fetal Surgery, 24w PPROM, 33w Placental Abruption, Partial Uterine Rupture, Emergency C-Section
    NICU, Chronic Kidney Disease
    TTC #3: Medically Cleared 12.5.2019, had a bunch of problems and wonky cycles
    BFP 10.13.2020 EDD: 6.26.2021

    October 2020 TTGP Signature Challenge: Pets in Costumes


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