PGAL Check In 8/17

kvh22 · August 2020

This thread is for anyone who has experienced loss at any point in pregnancy or experienced the loss of a child. ((Please feel free to share your loss story if you haven’t already.)) Also a general TW (trigger warning) in that previous losses will likely be discussed in this thread.

How far along are you?

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)?

Any upcoming appointments?

GTKY: Coffee or tea?

goldpolkadot · August 2020

How far along are you?

5w 4d

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)?

Physically: really tired! Slightly sick.

Mentally: nervous honestly (story below)

Any upcoming appointments?

Haven’t made my first one yet - kind of nervous too (story below). Tho with all the covid stuff I think my docs office is kind of swamped so I probably need to get on the calendar sooner than later.

GTKY: Coffee or tea?
Both! Haha tea first every single morning. With milk. Then a cup of black coffee!

Our story: I miscarried between babies #2 & #3. It was incredibly hard! I found out that I was pregnant pretty early & set up an initial appointment for around 8 weeks but never made it that far. Around week 7 I started spotting - went through all the googling and stress and is-it-or-isn’t-it and finally talked to my doctor and well long story short, I miscarried. It was mentally a bit traumatic, especially after 2 “normal” pregnancies, but fortunately it wasn’t as hard as I know some miscarriages can be. A few months later I did get pregnant again but I definitely felt completely nervous for the first half of that pregnancy (if not longer). This time around I’m feeling the same anxiety creeping in. I know it’s not rational but I again feel like I really, really just need to get past the 8 week mark and then I’ll calm down a bit.

thedomesticgeek · August 2020

How far along are you? 4 weeks 3 days

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)?
So stressed out, just talked to the nurse midwife and she was horrible and made me feel worse. I told her that I'm cramping on the right side, she told me if it gets worse go to the ER, told her I had a little pink streak yesterday when I wiped and she told me if it gets worse go to the ER. Seriously. I'm happy that I'm only going to this doctor for the first few weeks now, we're in the middle of a move 3 hours away.

I'm very tired and very nauseous.

Any upcoming appointments? 9/9 Ultrasound and 9/10 first appointment. Disappointed that they won't see me sooner since I'm so nervous about this pregnancy.

GTKY: Coffee or tea?
Coffee! I'm terrified of another miscarriage so I have been drinking decaf for months while TTC too, just in case. I drank 1 or 2 pots a day before TTC.

ffr2077 · August 2020

Stranger things have happened.
Post moved to @aisukurimsarang

madasm0530 · August 2020

Hi All, I just intro'd on that thread but thought I'd jump in here as well!

How far along are you? 7+3

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Symptom wise I'm not feeling great. I am pretty nauseous and am exhausted by 7pm. Mentally/emotionally I'm counting down the minutes until my ultrasounds tomorrow morning!

Any upcoming appointments? US tomorrow morning.

GTKY: Coffee or tea? Coffee x 100000. Except last week it started to not taste as good. Gah!

Most of my background can be found in my siggy but real quick *TW* we had a loss when we first started trying at 8 weeks and a chemical with our fresh transfer after IVF *TW*

madasm0530 · August 2020

@cait32 i hear you with peeing on things constantly. i was (/am) facing a ton of anxiety and a friend told me something that really, really helped; have the attitude that this is your baby today and just love the shit out of it. who knows what the next days and weeks will bring but today, this is your baby.

you got this!

alylove11 · August 2020

How far along are you? Supposed to be 7weeks today, will have an US tomorrow.

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Super nervous and not trying to get myself upset before the US tomorrow. Last US only showed gestational sac and my HcG was at 11,000.

Any upcoming appointments? Tomorrow’s ultrasound to determine viability.

GTKY: Coffee or tea? Coffee all the way! I do like tea, but coffee is my BFF.

aisukurimsarang · August 2020

WTBleep??? That one from ffr2077 is actually me.

kelseyyh · August 2020

How far along are you?

5 weeks, 3 days (based on LMP).

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)?
Today I've been a bit of a downer, but in general pretty excited. I'm just trying to enjoy every moment I have with this baby. My angel baby would have be due next month, so I feel a lot of different emotions about this pregnancy and the one I lost.

Any upcoming appointments?
My first appointment is September 9, but I started getting blood work done last week. I'll get my HCG levels checked every few days this time around.

My story (I'm longwinded oops. Also TW of course.)
My first pregnancy was pretty low-key. I actually found out closer to 8 weeks, and didn't get seen by an OB until 14 weeks. I was a bit of a basket-case worrying, but everything was smooth sailing

. To get pregnant with DS, we were "not trying, not preventing", though I'll admit, I was tracking my cycle. Hence why I was a bit chill about taking a test lol.

As my DS approached his first birthday, I was eager for another baby. I had not had a cycle, but the month of his birthday I noticed some ovulation signs and sort of wishfully "tried". I had no idea that it would actually work. About a month later, I felt woozy and a bit nauseous one morning. I took a test and forgot about it, and came back to see it was positive. My first appointment would be 3 weeks from then, February 6. I guesstimated my dates based on when I suspected ovulation.

Well. On February 5, I tucked my DS back in his crib for bedtime. I went to the bathroom and saw pink spotting. I was frozen in fear. I went to the ER & all I could get was some blood work, with a referral for an ultrasound to be done the next day. Spotting was turning bright red. I saw my doctor first, and she was amazingly positive. I went to the ultrasound and got the news that while I was pregnant, the baby was not viable, had no heartbeat. I was experiencing a missed miscarriage.

After going over my options, I decided to wait it out and let the miscarriage happen naturally. I lost the baby around midnight between February 21 & 22. I found out via a third ultrasound that my miscarriage was incomplete. Then I took the prescription given to help complete the process.

My doctor told me to wait two cycles to try again. I'm not sure if this is old-fashioned advice, or because she knows me pretty well and figured I should take a break. I didn't get another cycle for two months, but had 3 cycles before getting pregnant with this April 2021 baby that I pray is our rainbow. We were legit trying this time around which was new for us. (Hugs to those of you in the infertility battleground as well as the miscarriage one

).

GTKY: Coffee or tea?
Tea, but I'll do an iced coffee.

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories & emotions. During my first pregnancy, loss & infertility seemed unfathomable. "It'll never happen to me, it can't." Being on this side of it totally sucks, but it's a little more bearable knowing we can all support each other .

goldpolkadot · August 2020

@kelseyyh I totally agree - and thank you for sharing, too! When I was going through my MC, and then after it when I was pregnant again & was scared and freaking out, It helped SO much to talk to people who had been through something similar.

kelseyyh · August 2020

@alylove11
I'll pray for you tomorrow!

@madasm0530
I love that advice! Embrace the happiness & just love on these little babies for as long as we get to.

givemeallthefood123 · August 2020

@alylove11 keep us updated- praying for you in your u/s today
@goldpolkadot I felt the same way- trying to wait to set up the appointment so I’m not disappointed if I have to cancel it like I did with my first but I went ahead and called yesterday and actually felt excitement when I got my first u/s date

@thedomesticgeek I hope everything gets better with your midwife and you find one much more suitable where you are moving!!

today I am estimated 5+6 and am really excited but riddled with anxiety. I am trying to enjoy each day but something always makes me stop and say “is it going to happen to me again?”

Appointment: 9/15 for u/s
COFFEE!!! but I’m trying to give it up mostly during this pregnancy

In 2016, I found out I was pregnant with my first child that was due in September. I’ve always been very regular with my cycle so I found out almost immediately after my missed period. I set up my appointments and my husband and I were so excited. I made it to about 8 weeks and I started experiencing bleeding. So I went in to my doctor’s office who performed an u/s and *TW* I was able to hear my baby’s heartbeat. The nurse practitioner told us everything was fine and sent us home with pictures of our baby. The next day, I miscarried the same baby I had just heard the heartbeat. So that ruined me, and yet my next cycle I still became pregnant and that’s when I had my beautiful, vivacious DD. But I barely remember anything about my second pregnancy because I was still grieving. I’m trying to be more present this time around, but the anxiety will not stop. My first u/s is scheduled for 9/15 and I can’t wait.

sorry for being so long winded!!!

goldpolkadot · August 2020

@givemeallthefood123
yes exactly! I’m glad you have a date set though! I probably will call soon… Maybe this week? 🤣

givemeallthefood123 · August 2020

@goldpolkadot 😂 I just kept thinking of all the women I know that are pregnant and thought “hmm I better schedule because when I am ready I will never get an appointment” and the doctor that I really wanted was booked until beginning of October already

kelseyyh · August 2020

Oh I'm posting again in here, feeling a little anxious today. My doctor's office called and while my HCG levels went up nicely, they are low for when my LMP was. I'm praying it's just due to my long cycles & perhaps later ovulation that is typical. The nurse didn't make me feel like I needed to worry, but I am of course. I never even did regular HCG testing with my first pregnancy, or my second that I lost.

They are sending me for an ultrasound, which she said was for dating. While I'm thankful to not have to wait till September, I'm very nervous that the ultrasound will bring bad news. I'm praying that it will be different than the last times I was in that clinic.

Thinking of all you ladies today. @alylove11 How did it go girl?

madasm0530 · August 2020

I had my ultrasound this morning...

TW

it was more eventful than I thought it'd be. We have a healthy babe measuring at 7+2 (I'm 7+3) with a strong heartbeat, but there was an yolk sack measuring at 6+2 so my embryo had split and twin vanished.

So I guess my question is has anyone experienced this? Is there anything I should be concerned about going forward? I am trying to stay off google but it's so difficult!!

madasm0530 · August 2020

@kelseyyh what was your beta if you don't mind me asking? i know dating is different for infertility but at about 10dpt at my clinic anything above 30 is okay in their eyes so long as it doubles every 48 hours. hang in there, you got this!

kelseyyh · August 2020

Edited... just realized that HCG levels may be a trigger for some
TW (I'll have to read up on how to add spoiler)
@madasm0530
I'll give you my dates based on LMP (so just the generic how many weeks pregnant)

Friday - 5 weeks pregnant: 741
Monday - 5 weeks, 3 days: 2135

TW (I'll have to read up on how to add spoiler)
Congratulations on your heathy babe! What bittersweet news to find out though, I'm so sorry for your loss. I have heard of vanishing twins before, but have never experienced it myself. I think staying off google is a good idea.

bbrahmbhatt · August 2020

Hi everyone! I just did my intro, but wanted to introduce myself to this group as well.

@cait32 I feel like we are in the same boat! I keep wanting to reassure myself.

@madasm0530 I like that! I am going to try to just live in the moment and enjoy this for as long as I am able.

How far along are you? 4w1d

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? exhausted, randomly nauseous, no food sounds good, boobs sore and HUGE, peeing a lot, intermittent low midline cramping/twinges

Any upcoming appointments? Not yet. I had an early miscarriage around just before 5 weeks in my last pregnancy about a year ago. I told myself if I still have a positive test with a darker line on Friday (16dpo and 3 days late) I will call to schedule an appointment.

GTKY: Coffee or tea? Coffee, but I have significantly cut down since TTC. I only allow myself one cup in the mornings.

goldpolkadot · August 2020

@givemeallthefood123 oh wow!! Yes so good you did!!

@madasm0530 Congrats! Heartbeat is super exciting. That is a lot to take in tho, and I'm so sorry. I don't know very much about vanishing twin. My personal opinion is that google can be a downward spiral (but I often end up there anyway, oy!).
(Side note: super impressed with the spoiler thing)

@kelseyyh when is your US scheduled? Keep us updated!

kelseyyh · August 2020

@goldpolkadot The clinic hasn't called me yet! I am guessing this week or next week, I'll post when I know

.

madasm0530 · August 2020

ugh, @cait32 i am so sorry. please take care of yourself!

kelseyyh · August 2020

@cait32 I’m so so sorry. We will miss you and be thinking of you.

bbrahmbhatt · August 2020

@cait32 I'm so so sorry. Please take care of yourself.

kelseyyh · August 2020

@goldpolkadot
Feeling a bit relieved now... the clinic called and they are booking me for the standard 8-10 weeks dating scan. I'm booked for September 14. My first doctor's appointment is the week before on the 9th. I'm still talking to the nurse at the office & doing my HCG levels twice a week (I go back tomorrow).

It's funny... Thinking I was getting an early scan actually stressed me out more than the long wait till September... I'm just hopeful I can keep taking this day by day and enjoying this baby for as long as I'm blessed with him/her.

*TW*
The week of my ultrasound is also the week I was supposed due with my angel baby. I'm praying it's good news and not another goodbye.

goldpolkadot · August 2020

Oh no! @cait32 I'm so sorry!!

@kelseyyh LOVE the update! That's great! Anything that puts you more at ease is great. And I love when dates line up like that

You got this girl, just keep taking it one day at a time. I'm telling myself the same thing

(side note: I still do need to make my own initial appointment, *facepalm*)

alylove11 · August 2020

@cait32 I’m so sorry!! 😪

@kvh22 it went better!! The gestational sac measured at 5 weeks 4 days and a yolk sac was seen. She didn’t say anything about a tilted uterus but she had to do this funky angle by making the wand angle up towards my belly button and it was somewhat uncomfortable. She said I’m not out of the woods yet since I’m still spotting, but things are looking good so far. Thanks for asking!! PS- I’m not getting any notifications that I’ve been tagged. How do I edit that? Lol It’s been a LONG time since I’ve been active on a group. I was active on my October 2013 group but not so much on my June 2016.

bblair24 · August 2020

@cait32 I’m so sorry. Take care of yourself! ❤️

bblair24 · August 2020

How far along are you? 4 weeks and 1 day I think

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? My symptoms aren’t super strong yet. I get waves of nausea, mostly in the evenings, made better by snacking. My boobs are huge and are killing me - that’s my strongest symptom. If anyone even looks at my boobs they hurt, haha! Also random cramps and twinges.

Mentally, I don’t know. I’m not sure that I’m still totally letting myself believe I'm pregnant. I'm totally excited and love the idea of a third. It’s just hard. My pregnancies with DD1 and DD2 I had knock-me-off-my-feet nausea all day long. The pregnancy between them that ended in a loss felt more like this one. I know logically that all pregnancies are different and that millions of women have had healthy babies without experiencing an ounce of morning sickness. But in reality it’s hard to not compare this current pregnancy with my others. I just try to take it one day at a time.

Any upcoming appointments?
September 14th. I’ll have a viability ultrasound followed by an appointment with a doctor. We moved back here a few years ago so this is my first baby and pregnancy in the area. I truly loved my old OB - she delivered both of my girls and was also on call the day of my miscarriage. I’m sad that she didn’t move with me! 😜

GTKY: Coffee or tea? Coffee! If I drink tea I have to use so much sugar that it’s probably not good
for me any more.

cagncoo12 · August 2020

@cait32 i'm so sorry.

bbrahmbhatt · August 2020

@bblair24 I know what you mean about not letting yourself believe you're pregnant. I am 4w4d today, and I am obsessively monitoring every symptom. I didn't have as many symptoms with my MC a year ago, only some pelvic cramping and some breast pain that wasn't as severe as it has been now. I have some nausea/nothing sounds good, and insomnia and all of that. But I was starting to panic today because I thought my boobs might be a little less sore today. This is so nerve wracking.

bblair24 · August 2020

@bbrahmbhatt I'm an obsessive symptom monitor too! I read some posts in first tri yesterday (I was bored last night and scrolled through several pages of posts while DH entertained the girls, haha!) and several women said their first pregnancy was entirely different than their second or third or whatever symptom-wise, but they all ended in a healthy baby. A few people even said they had twin pregnancies that had zero symptoms, and singletons that made them feel awful. Not that I'm hoping for twins, but that was a relief to read!

bbrahmbhatt · August 2020

@bblair24 that is reassuring! This is only my second pregnancy; it took us almost a full year to get pregnant again after MC, so I am nervous about EVERY. LITTLE. THING. I sort of feel sorry for my husband, who is much more measured than I am in times of crisis (or my perception of crisis). I'm just trying to have hope and cling to that instead of fear. But, I am taking some solace in the fact that I never had this dark of a line with my MC, and I have a lot more symptoms now. I am so hoping for healthy LO for us all!

bblair24 · August 2020

@bbrahmbhatt ❤️❤️ I totally get it! I am hoping and praying for you and your rainbow baby!

stephnart · August 2020

@bbrahmbhatt I relate with you so much. It's so hard to not be anxious after a MC. I'm also super obsessive with my symptoms, and I'm also obsessively checking myself after every bathroom visit just to make sure I see no red. I'm trying to not be "crazy", but it's hard lol.

thedomesticgeek · August 2020

Just a quick update, I called my regular nurse practitioner for a second opinion on my right side cramping and her nurse told me to go to the ER right away. I went to the ER and they ran a ton of blood tests, they ruled out ectopic which was my main concern. My HCG levels were around 400 on Tuesday and 1600 yesterday. They said everything looks good and I should keep my 9/9 ultrasound appointment and 9/10 first OB appointment. After that I'll have to switch doctors because we're moving the following week. It's been a whirlwind. Now my cramping has gotten a little better and it's very much everywhere, no longer exclusively on my right side.

stephnart · August 2020

How far along are you? I'm 6w1d

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? My symptoms today are sore breasts, a bit of queasiness, and I'm also feeling tired today. Emotionally, I'm feeling anxious/restless today, like I need to keep my mind and body busy. I'll definitely take a walk later today when the heat sets down a bit.

Any upcoming appointments? Next week, I have another appointment.

GTKY: Coffee or tea?
I love tea

goldpolkadot · August 2020

@thedomesticgeek that's reassuring for sure!! And wow moving too, that's a LOT going on!

bblair24 · August 2020

@thedomesticgeek I’m glad that everything looked good! ❤️

thedomesticgeek · August 2020

@bblair24 Thank you, I was so relieved. The nurses scared the heck out of me.

@goldpolkadot Yep, DH had a reverse vasectomy in June, it was the more complicated procedure so they told us it would probably take a year to conceive. We weren't expecting it to work the second cycle, so the timing is interesting, ha! This pregnancy was definitely planned but not expected right now.

We're planning on telling close family and friends after our 8 week ultrasound because we're going to be moving 3 hours away from literally everyone we know...that and we definitely need help moving since I'm not going to be much help with lifting.

aisukurimsarang · September 2020

How far along are you? At the time of the original post, 8w5d. This was originally posted under the wrong account, deleted, and never reposted under the right account. So, I'm adding it a bit late.

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? No symptoms other than cranky and exhausted.

TW emotionally.....

This is my 3rd pregnancy in 2 years. In Jan of 2019, I had a natural miscarriage at 10w3d. The pregnancy was developing, just very slowly, and a HB so dim, the US couldn't even pick it up to measure. Since then, I'm afraid of the Big Bad Ultrasound machine. I also won't do tests for progesterone and beta levels, as it just gave me false hope with my loss, and unnecessary stress with DS1.

Any upcoming appointments? I, um, have been afraid to call my OB, sooooo

GTKY: Coffee or tea? Both, interchangeable. But, I'm in decaf coffee right now, so I can enjoy a soda once a day and still keep the caffeine to minimum (under 50mg)

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