PGAL Check-in 6/15

eqv · June 2020

This thread is for anyone who has experienced loss at any point in pregnancy or experienced the loss of a child.

How far along are you?

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)?

Any upcoming appointments?

GTKY: What was your favorite game (board game, sport, playing around the neighborhood, etc.) as a child?

Edited to add: Feel free to share your loss history if you'd like and haven't done so elsewhere. (TWs if appropriate, but I imagine that's somewhat implied with this topic).

Copied from January 2021 board.

eqv · June 2020

How far along are you? 5+3 today

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? I feel pretty normal, just sleepier and with a lower appetite than normal. I'm oddly excited and invested in this pregnancy working out whereas with previous early losses I felt incapable of optimism (probably because my betas were always abnormal).

Any upcoming appointments? Ultrasound tomorrow--super early due to my ectopic history. Too early for a heartbeat, I imagine.

GTKY: What was your favorite game (board game, sport, playing around the neighborhood, etc.) as a child? Volleyball was (and is) definitely the most fun sport to play; my sisters and I loved playing the Sweet Valley High board game. One of them had a game-themed wedding with various games as centerpieces; she tracked down the SVH game, and of course I made my my cousins play with me.

babymamadimo · June 2020

How far along are you? 6+5

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Very nauseous and throwing up each morning while brushing my teeth. I had the same symptoms with my pregnancy with my son so it actually makes me excited because I didn’t feel this bad with my mmc. Yesterday was basically a waste of a day because I felt so sick and laid in bed 60% of the day.

Any upcoming appointments? Ultrasound tomorrow!! I just got a call that my husband can come to so I’m soooo happy!

GTKY: What was your favorite game (board game, sport, playing around the neighborhood, etc.) as a child? I loved playing backgammon with my dad and Michigan rummy!

adorebel · June 2020

Thanks for starting this thread! I needed it today.

How far along are you? 7w today!

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? I had a lot of symptoms last week: waking up super early, feeling exhausted midday, noticeable morning sickness (and, for the first time, actually in the mornings?), and hard, painful boobs. Those symptoms have been present but less noticeable for the last few days, and I'm trying not to let PGAL anxiety take over. In my last pregnancy, I started spotting on this day, went in for an ultrasound this week, and miscarried at 8w....

My other pregnancy loss was at 16w, so I feel like now I have two mental hurdles to get over before I can feel calm... the first is not miscarrying in the first trimester, and the second is finding out there's nothing fatally wrong in the second trimester. But, like you, @eqv, I'm having a very different and more positive emotional experience with this pregnancy than the last one, so hopefully my intuition is right!

Any upcoming appointments? I have an appointment with a new doctor tomorrow. We are spending 10 weeks with my parents in a different state this summer, and I found out I was pregnant like 3 days before we left home! So I need to establish care here and get some early tests and such. Hopefully they will do an ultrasound tomorrow -- I would love the reassurance of seeing a heartbeat!

GTKY: What was your favorite game (board game, sport, playing around the neighborhood, etc.) as a child? I was a big book nerd, but I loved playing mermaid in the town pool, making up imaginative games with friends in the woods, and I was obsessed with the board games LIFE and Trivial Pursuit Jr. I grew up in a very rural setting, so we were also lucky enough to keep horses in our backyard, which was an amazing sport/activity to do every day with my brother and my mom.

hannahbananas11 · June 2020

How far along: 4+4

How are you feeling?: I’ve got fewer symptoms than I did at this point with DS, but more symptoms than I did with my MC (which happened at 6 weeks in early 2018 two months before DS was conceived). Luckily it seems easier mentally this time than with DS, now that I’ve got DS. It’s like I know that I’ve already got one successful pregnancy on my side, so I feel more at peace either way this one goes.

Upcoming appts: My first appt with the ob is on July 7th for a dating ultrasound.

Favorite game as a child: Scrabble!

birdiejo · June 2020

How far along are you? 5 weeks

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? I’m okay. I don’t have that many symptoms but I think I didn’t with any of my pregnancies so I’m trying to remember and take comfort in that. I don’t know when I’ll feel comfortable and not worried... maybe once I start feeling movements? I was feeling beyond anxious last week but I’m trying to focus on fun things like all the new baby gear that’s out there. I gave most of our stuff away.

Any upcoming appointments? July 6!

GTKY: What was your favorite game (board game, sport, playing around the neighborhood, etc.) as a child? Scrabble!

szwill86 · June 2020

How far along are you? 5+6

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Not fully nauseous yet, just in the don’t want to eat/nothing sounds appealing stage. Also tired all day. I just need digital teaching to be over so I can nap when DS naps! Haha
Emotionally, I’m always having PGAL thoughts.
**TW**

I lost my first pregnancy at 17 weeks with my first son, another loss at 5 weeks and then got pregnant with my son a month later, and another loss at 6 weeks in April 2019. I feel like there’s never any “milestone” point where I can relax and enjoy a pregnancy.

**end TW**

Any upcoming appointments? July 1st for my dating US

GTKY: What was your favorite game (board game, sport, playing around the neighborhood, etc.) as a child? I used to love playing the board game Pretty Pretty Princess with my sisters!

moguippy · June 2020

How far along are you? 6w 2d

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Physically? Super nauseous. Mentally? Mad. Mad that it’s probably not going to work out. Mad that I’m so sick. I told my husband that if this one doesn’t work out I probably don’t want to do this again. We’ll probably look into foster/adoption which has always been on the table for us.

Any upcoming appointments? Wednesday for bloodwork. Next Monday for ultrasound

GTKY: What was your favorite game (board game, sport, playing around the neighborhood, etc.) as a child? I loved hungry hungry hippos as a small child and pretty much any board game. H and I still play board games when we can find the time.

eqv · June 2020

@moguippy I'm sorry for the situation you're in--there's nothing quite like the ambiguous results of early pregnancy, especially with a loss history. I'll be thinking of you and hoping for good results this week.

mdfarmchick · June 2020

@eqv @babymamadimogood luck with the ultrasound tomorrow.

@adorebel good luck tomorrow as well!

@szwill86 I feel you on the not really thinking there’s a milestone where we are safe.

@moguippy **TW** loss

we’ve had three losses and two back to back.

I told my husband the same—I’m not sure I can keep trying with the losses.

How far along are you? 7 weeks

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Physically? I’m trying to be hopeful this time but it’s just hard. Physically I’m exhausted and I feel sick in the evenings/at bedtime. It feels like a lot this time with all the extra meds as well.

GTKY: What was your favorite game as a child? I grew up on a farm so not a lot of neighborhood kids but my best friend and I used to enjoy playing Nancy Drew like we were solving mysteries.

Our loss story:

We’ve had three miscarriages so far, one in between my oldest and youngest and two back to back in November 2019 and March 2020 at 11 and 8 weeks. We’ve been diagnosed with repeat pregnancy loss and my current MFM thinks it has to do with the MTHFR mutation they found in the genetic screening. So I’m on baby aspirin and folate and Lovenox shots and a bunch of other stuff.

moguippy · June 2020

Thanks ladies. Sorry to be the Debbie downer.

Backstory of our loss last time TW

This past January we went in for a dating u/s at 7.5 weeks, saw a heartbeat and a uterus full of blood. Went back at 8.5 weeks to check on the blood and there was no longer a heartbeat. Tried to wait for my body to do the natural thing but ended up taking the medicine just before 10w. It didn’t work and my body finally miscarried just before 11w.

This time they saw blood in my uterus again which obviously makes me worried. It took us 18 months to get pregnant with DS so we have had a rough go of it. I know other people have had it worse and I am so thankful for my son. He’s an awesome kid and I just want another one for him to have a sibling.

hannahbananas11 · June 2020

@moguippy I’m so sorry. I hope the days until your appointment go quickly so you can find out what’s going on. The waiting is so hard.

mdfarmchick · June 2020

@moguippy you aren’t being a Debbie downer. In every bump board I’ve been a part of the PGAL check in has always been a safe space for any feelings, especially negative ones. Big hugs. Waiting is hard. I’m hoping this is your rainbow baby. The thing that has been helping me this time is remembering that today I am pregnant and this baby is so loved and wanted. Maybe there’s a phrase that you find comforting this time for you.

RoseTyler72 · June 2020

How far along are you? 5 w 5 d

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)?
I'm having spotting off and on, mostly brown but some red with small clots too. I spotted like this with both my take home babies but it freaks me out every single time because of my two early losses and I barely slept 2 nights ago because I was sure it was all over. For now things seem to be staying the same so I'm cautiously hopeful.

Any upcoming appointments? First appt isn't until July 8 and I had to beg for this one because my OB is so booked up. I'm sure I could go in and get blood tests done but for now I just prefer to wait a few more days and see what happens.

GTKY: What was your favorite game (board game, sport, playing around the neighborhood, etc.) as a child?
Hmm, playing Nintendo maybe?, flag football, riding bikes.

KLS123 · June 2020

@mdfarmchick I really like that that montra of "today I am pregnant" and it seems so simply that it's silly but it's a good reminder to enjoy being pregnant today instead of dreading what might happen tomorrow.

How far along are you? ~5 weeks and some change

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)?
My body temp is slightly elevated (which is what prompted me to POAS), fatigue has set in and ever so slight bouts of nausea and bloat.
Mentally/emotionally I'm really disengaged right now. I don't want to get my hopes up again until I at least make it past some milestones.

Any upcoming appointments? I had my blood draws over the last few days so I'm waiting for me Dr to call to confirm the HCG is where it needs to be, fingers crossed!

GTKY: What was your favorite game (board game, sport, playing around the neighborhood, etc.) as a child?
I was a big reader as a kid which was by far my favorite pastime

nbcarlson · June 2020

How far along are you? 5 weeks today

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? I am pretty nauseous and tired. Trying to focus on non pregnancy things for the most part. I've had 3 losses and the farthest along I've been when I had a miscarriage is 6 weeks 2 days, so I think I'll feel better after that. I have my 2 kids so it's a little easier not to fixate on this pregnancy. I do wish I hadn't taken a test so early haha, I wasn't even 4 weeks, poor choice for sure!

Any upcoming appointments? I have my first appt June 30th, but it's just the normal first appt, no ultrasound.

GTKY: What was your favorite game (board game, sport, playing around the neighborhood, etc.) as a child? My family played Scattergories a lot, but that's really the only one I remember haha. I did gymnastics up until I was 16 so I didn't ever do much of anything else.

cmoon3 · June 2020

Dirty lurker. Wishing the best to all of you. I'm so glad you have each other to lean on.

WildMagelet · June 2020

How far along are you? 6 w 5d

How are you feeling (symptoms, mentally/emotionally)? Physically? Tired. Mentally & emotionally? Detached. I know its my subconscious trying to defend itself from the heartbreak we went through before, but I still feel super guilty about it.

Any upcoming appointments? Not until July 6th.

GTKY: What was your favorite game (board game, sport, playing around the neighborhood, etc.) as a child? I loved playing make believe with my friends, unless I was the only girl because they’d want me to be the damsel in distress. I was also pretty big into board games, Aggravation, Monopoly, Clue, etc.

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