December 2020 Moms

Getting Ready for a Holiday Baby Thread

edited April 2020 in December 2020 Moms
How are you going to prepare for this December!
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Re: Getting Ready for a Holiday Baby Thread

  • edited April 2020
    My super early Christmas planning. Anyone else start their Christmas gift list this early? Now that I know I’m expecting a little one so close to Christmas I want to get a real head start on my gifts! Also especially because I’m sure most will be bought online now due to COVID!
  • @tryingktogku she started the thread =)
    TTC History:
    Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010.
    TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
    BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
    TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
    Due date was Nov 2020
    DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
    TTC: March 2021
    IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
    IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP.  MC Jan 2022
    IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
    IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
    AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.



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  • @bearmomma1 lol is pregnancy brain a real thing this early? I turned it into a different thread!
  • This is my parents' "year" for us to spend Christmas with them (we swap off holidays each year with our respective families), but I doubt I'll be able to travel, so will be preparing for a family Christmas at our house...eep. That's about as far as I've gotten. And I might tell our nephew that the baby is his 4th birthday present (he was born on New Year's Eve, so it'll be close).
  • We'll be setting expectations early with family - we try to travel to my parents or my ILs every year for Christmas.  It definitely won't happen this year!  I'm looking forward to a quiet Christmas at home.  I'll definitely be getting gifts together and mailed out really early.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Me: 34 DH: 36
    Married 10/15/11
    M/C October 2014
    BFP #2 4/3/16  EDD 12/8/16  DS 11/19/16


  • My parents are divorced and don't get along.  They live in the same town in MI which has been great for splitting holidays, we usually do a morning/evening split.  However last XMAS we went to CA with my dad's family and my mom was really sad.  So it looks like, to be fair, mom will have to come down to TX for this XMAS since we won't be traveling with the baby.  Now I know that my dad will be upset but we can only do what we can only do.  So annoying dealing with their drama.  I'm envious of those families who recover from divorce and can all still hang out together.
    Thankfully, MH parents live in India and are Hindu, so we don't have expectations to coordinate with them at this same time as well.
  • If babe is here we will go to my Mom's for breakfast but that's it. Honestly that'll probably be it no matter what, lol. 
  • My whole family and DH’s family live literally 5minutes from us! We usually do Christmas Eve with DH’s side and do Christmas Day with my side but I’m not sure how that’ll pan out with a new baby (or potentially being in labour or over due) yet. Especially since who knows when this COVID stuff will be over with! 
  • We alternate holidays between mine and husbands family and this year is supposed to be my year with my family on Christmas. Also didn’t plan on this Covid BS, so I guess we will see how that factors into things once flu/ strep and now covid season ramp back up again. 

    Side note: can’t wait to buy a matching PBK stocking to go with the others! 
  • Both sets of grandparents are planning to come to us, so that’ll be nice. We live in Florida and my parents are in Wisconsin, while his are in Arkansas. I’m honestly kind of excited to go on maternity leave through the holidays, which is our busiest time at work 😂 beyond that, we haven’t done much planning yet. 
    Me: 36 | DH: 35 | Married: 9.17.16
    Diminished ovarian reserve
    BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
  • For Christmas every year we usually go over to DH's parents house and all his brothers and sisters and spouses and kids come over and we all do dinner and presents together. I'm sure my in-laws will want to see the new baby by then so I'll see how I'm feeling or if we can even go over there with COVID still around. Everything is still up in there air. We will just play it by ear. 
  • We always split the holidays with Christmas Eve at the inlaws and then Christmas with my family.  Then we normally spend a couple days with each family.  We won't be traveling this Christmas, so I am not really sure how this will work.  My MIL says that she is going to wait to come, since I will probably want my mom to stay for awhile.  However this is the first grandchild and my MIL gets two weeks off at Christmas.  My parents fly to see us, but my in-laws normally drive the 7 hours.  So it takes two days of traveling and that doesn't really fit into a weekend trip.  I have a feeling we will probably cave and have her come.  It is not that I won't want to see her; things could just really be a hot mess.  Plus then does my SIL also come and then the MILs new husband?  Getting messy and probably not best decided after a night of terrible sleep and hormones.   
  • With extended family and divorced parents we have 5-7 Christmas events every year depending on when family visit. I'm pretty sure we are going to sit most of them out. Of those we normally host 2 of them and that definitely won't happen. 

    Between being a couple weeks postpartum, having a very young baby in tow, flu season, Covid 19 (which I expect to still be an issue), and our history of having babies back in the hospital a few weeks after birth it's just not a risk I want to take. 

    This is bound to infuriate almost all the branches of our family. I know in the very hormonal post partum phase I'll feel pressured to go so I plan on laying out our limits at Thanksgiving if not sooner.
    image     image
  • @mom_of_the_vogels I def think it's a good idea to lay things out early so people have more time to get over themselves :)
  • I am already getting anxious about flu season. We will have a hard stance on needing to get the flu shot before coming to see the baby. My family will not push back on this but all of my in-laws are very anti flu shot and believe that the flu shot gives you the flu 🙄🙄. I wouldn’t put it past my mil to lie about getting the shot either.  

    We already have a schedule of spending our Christmas with just our nuclear family, we see my side before the holiday, and my in-laws usually insist on coming up Xmas eve (for my birthday and Christmas). We won’t be doing that this year. I know I’ll be a mess with a less than 2 week old and germs/flu and postpartum. 
  • WinnieDWinnieD member
    I usually host all holidays and on one hand, I'd still prefer to host because the alternative is my parents house. My parents live pretty far from the hospital (whereas I live <10 minutes) and I don't want to be extremely uncomfortable at someone else's house. I'll probably still host Christmas but order food versus make most of it. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • jbal918jbal918 member
    Our holidays are crazy! Christmas Eve is my family because, Italian and that’s when we celebrate. It’s big and loud and every Italian thing you can think of 😂😂
    We see DH’s family on Christmas Day and it’s busy too! 
    DS will be 4 by then but I don’t know what we will
    do, depending on all this stuff going around. 
    DS born 2016
  • I also love how I just assume it's gonna be a "her"
    It's funny cause I have 5 sisters and a daughter. I literally cannot imagine having a boy in the family.
  • @jbal918. I love your description of Christmas Eve.  As an Italian married to an Italian, that is pretty much our Christmas Eve as well.  My husband and I tend to be the quietest two members of the family and it is almost overwhelming for us.  Thank goodness it is only one day! 
  • @jbal918 and @dobiemom11 half Italian here. Our big Italian family get together is on Christmas Eve, too. I'm planning on probably sitting it out this year because it's a big, long day around a ton of people. With 3+ hours of driving, an unvaccinated newborn and 2 more in tow, and a family who just can't keep their kisses in check it's a little too much for me. Breaks my heart but hubs will be relieved (he is not Italian, and had no idea what he walked into the first year). At least there is another baby on the way who will be around 3 months old and should be there for all the Grandmas to love on 🤣
    image     image
  • jbal918jbal918 member
    @dobiemom11 and @mom_of_the_vogels I love it too! It’s loud and crazy and the food is typical seven fishes and all that! I love helping but I’ll be able to relax this year hoepfully. I made a comment to my Mom about not staying long or not letting anyone hold the baby because he/she will be too small and I think I saw my life flash before my eyes 😂😂
    DS born 2016
  • jbal918jbal918 member
    Also, I don’t eat any fish so carb loading happens for me that day haha 
    DS born 2016
  • We host christmas,  the inlaws come over,  and my mom usually flies in from california and spends the holidays with us.  As of right now,  my moms not coming because of covid, but that could change.  She actually wanted to come out in 2 weeks and I had to tell her no,  it's not safe,  she is 78 and has breathing issues.  So she decided to cancel all her trips for the year. We won't cancel christmas,  I'll just have to start planning earlier. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
  • What do you guys usually get your sister l/brother in laws and parents for Xmas gifts? I find I always spend way too much on everyone at Christmas and I really need to reign it in with baby on the way and they costs associated with that lol 
  • @tryingktogku since we all basically have kids now we don't buy gifts for the adults, just the kids. I'm not a person who likes a lot of "stuff" so I stick to consumables for adults, or experiences. For my parents I usually get them tickets to the annual Cirque Du Soleil. DHs parents (divorced), his Mom we get her favorite fragrance, his Dad gets nicer clothes (he never buys himself nice clothes). Even for my little nieces and nephews instead of toys we give movie buckets. Tickets to the movies with home movie stuff too, bucket of popcorn to pop, candies they can have. After awhile, no one wants more toys in their house, trust me!
  • @tryingktogku. When we lived closer to family, we would buy them tickets to go see a play or sporting event.  That way we all got to see each other for an event and there wasn't another thing added to the hoarding situation some family members have.  This year it was hard, since we moved away and it wasn't really feasible to do that.  With all our family as foodies, sometimes I just send something really fun for dinner on night when we are all together (lobster rolls, sushi etc).  
  • akorosakoros member
    @tryingktogku For my husband's family we do a secret Santa for the adults (us, his parents, his brother and sister-in-law) which makes it a lot easier. For my parents we're still doing individual gifts since it's just them (I don't have siblings), but I've been working on them for years to try and tone it down, which has sort of worked.
  • @willashbaby I like experiences too that’s what I did last year but I live in a small northern city so we don’t have much to do and the things there are to do are very expensive! I got everyone a photography session last year and my parents and in laws a ski and stay get away at a local ski lodge but again very expensive lol 

    @dobiemom11 that’s a good idea too but with COVID there are no events lol 

    @akoros I wanted to do a secret Santa but got shut down lol we have such a big family it’s a hassle to buy a bazillion gifts!
  • akorosakoros member
    @tryingktogku it was all my husband's idea a couple of years ago when the first grandkid made an appearance. One way he got them to agree is that the spending limit is on the higher side to compensate, so we're not "losing out" on anything. It's so much easier just buying a gift for one person (well, two, we still buy gifts for our spouses), actually gives you the time to think it through and have fun with it rather than just another thing you have to do (and we don't even have big families).
  • sejicasejica member
    @tryingtogku
    My dad and I are avid readers, so we give each other a book we read that year. Kind of like a super delayed book club where you read it in series, rather than concurrently.
    We've also done the photo thing in the past, and while it is pricy, it's not much more on top of the annual photos I would want anyway. We also do them early - around mid Oct - so we can use them for Xmas cards.
    B&sil just get stuff for the kids, but every once in a while either side will come across something cool, and we'll give/get something, but not every year, and it's rarely the same year/reciprocal.
    My fil gets a photo puzzle of him with at least 1 of the grandkids.
    My mom gets something wearable from the local fall art Festival.
    Bil/sil get homemade candy. They have 5 kiddos, so most of their budget allowance goes to the kids.
    BabyName Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
  • @tryingktogku my mom just gets stocking stuffers because she budys whatever she wants, hates whatever we get her and boycotted Christmas one year. My mil usually gets clothes,  fil a tool. The kids each give them all a gift of their choosing as well,  because kids gifts are fun to see what they choose.  My sil/bil gett nothing from us,  but we get a small gift for our niece ( $10 range). Bil/sil don't get us nor the kids anything.  
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
  • My due date got bumped up to November 30, and if we schedule a c-section, it'll be at 39 weeks. That would be the Monday before Thanksgiving. I might be coming home on Thanksgiving with our own turkey! :p Christmas Eve we usually do at my in-laws, Christmas morning we go to my husbands brothers house, and Christmas Day we go to my parents. Depending on Covid I'm assuming we'll keep that same tradition going. Except I think I'd probably want to stay home for Xmas morning.
    TTC History:
    Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010.
    TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
    BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
    TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
    Due date was Nov 2020
    DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
    TTC: March 2021
    IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
    IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP.  MC Jan 2022
    IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
    IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
    AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.



  • @bearmomma1 after the first Christmas after we had DD we decided that we would do Xmas day at our house. Either family can come to us, but we don’t leave that day. It’s one of my favorite parts of the holiday now. We still see each side of the family before but we don’t stress about having to travel and see everyone that day. 
  • We generally host either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and I cook the majority of the meal (happily! I enjoy cooking and entertaining). Both of our immediate families are close enough to be able to drive over for the day. My stepdad is Cuban and his extended family is huge and they also usually do something that we attend. I guess depending on when baby comes we may agree to have some amount of family over here since we won't be going anywhere, but I'm going to tell everyone we need to see how things are going before we commit to anything and I sincerely doubt that I'll cook anything - Honey Baked Ham and pre-made platters from the grocery store all the way.  

    Also I know its early, but I already put in a maternity leave request to start using some vacation time immediately after Thanksgiving until the baby gets here (EDD 12/15) which is when I want my Mat Leave to start. That'll give me some extra time to prep for the holidays if I'm even interested in doing so. Hopefully it gets approved!
  • @mom_of_the_vogels Good idea to start setting expectations now! We have started to do the same... I think we want zero visitors at all until baby is at least a month old. It sucks, but so does everything else right now. ☹️
  • @mom_of_the_vogels Oof, ya, that is the perfect storm of stress. Who knows what the world will be next month let alone in December when flu season picks up. Plus a newborn? Heck no, we’re hunkering down for the long haul this winter.
  • My mom, SIL, and MIL all get two weeks off at Christmas.  My SIL offered to come stay with us during that time if we wanted.  DH and I both looked at each other and were like No.  If anyone is coming (a big IF) at this point, they have to be willing and able to either take care of an infant or us.  When discussing it, my SIL was like I can organize a napping schedule or your fridge.  The baby will likely dictate naps and I don't care what my fridge looks like.  She doesn't cook or do dishes/laundry so I would basically be doing all that with an extra person around.  Thanks but no!  

    @mom_of_the_vogels. That sounds crazy stressful!  Hopefully they all won't decide to make things "easier" for you and stop by your house.  

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