Sex, of the orgasm kind

kboydbowman · May 2020

You wanted it, you got it. The post for sharing questions, concerns, bitching, or just general thoughts on sex while pregnant.

Kurtni · May 2020

I’ve had recurrent yeast infections this pregnancy and it’s really putting a damper on things. I’ve never had this problem in my past pregnancies but I’m on #3 at 19 weeks. 🤮 so gross and I’m over it. Usually second tri is where I’m thankful you can’t get pregnant twice at once 😅

kboydbowman · May 2020

@kurtni I feel your pain. Because I have chronic recurrent UTIs, they're making me take daily prophylactic Keflex to prevent kidney infection (even though I've never had a kidney infection in my life and they stopped treating my UTIs years ago because I'm largely asymptomatic, but that's a different bitchfest). And antibiotics ALWAYS give me yeast infections. So every 2 to 3 weeks im having to do a 3 day course of Monistat. It's very annoying.

aefsparrow · May 2020

I have an incredibly high sex drive, my husband's is on the moderate side, so I normally get some 'self-help' time in before he gets home from work... but now he is always home from work... it is beyond frustrating! Also inflamed varicose veins on my lady parts are transient, but hurt like hell... that is one thing no one seems to mention about pregnancy

MJDsquared · May 2020

I have a low sex drive, and pregnancy didn't change it last time. This time it may be a little increased, but that's overruled by my exhaustion from working full-time and taking care of a toddler simultaneously. DH would gladly do it much more than we have been.

kboydbowman · May 2020

@aefsparrow who says you can't "self-help" when he's around? he might enjoy the show, for all you know.

aefsparrow · May 2020

@kboydbowman that's all on me... for some reason I just feel weird doing it with him in the house.

kboydbowman · May 2020

@aefsparrow growth edge.

peanutorcookie · May 2020

My sex drive has always been higher than my husband's. Pregnancy hasn't changed that, I just haven't had the energy at the end of the day to make more effort, which leads to frustrating sex dreams more often than not. When I do manage to convince DH and muster the energy, the sex has been fantastic, though!

babycakesday · May 2020

I’m also on the recurrent uti’s this pregnancy. It’s getting so annoying. Usually I have which sex drive and I did the entire time my first pregnancy. This time, I just can’t even get in the mood. I feel awful since DH never has to ask or initiate most of the time and lately he’s always trying. I’m always saying no.

mamahosch · May 2020

I had always thought my birth control made my sex drive low but even after getting off it to get pregnant and through this pregnancy I’ve had a low sex drive even though I’m feeling pretty good. DH has a much higher sex drive than me but he’s a trooper about not saying anything or complaining. I think I can count on one hand the times we’ve had sex since doing the original baby dance! But on the rare occasion we do it’s pretty damn good if I say so myself lol.

mammatoomc · May 2020

I have had zero sex drive, I’m 20w and I think we’ve had sex twice since we found out we were pregnant. We used to have a very, very health sex life and it’s non existent right now. I feel really bad and it’s definitely weighing on our relationship right now. He asks, I just have no desire. Things are different right now with both of us being home all the time and I think that’s part of it. He goes back to work this week so maybe getting some distance will turn me on.

With my first pregnancy, I had a crazy high sex drive (ex husband so different dads here) but me and my ex had a pretty shitty sex life in general so this whole thing confuses me.

babyodo · May 2020

I'd say at this point, my sex drive is much higher than MH's, for several reasons. I've always had a rather healthy sex drive, and the only time it plummeted was after my loss in October and again in the first trimester because of 24/7 nausea and tiredness. MH went on antidepressants last year, which caused his sex drive to plummet, along with gaining almost fifty pounds, which really made him self-conscious. When we were TTGP, we pretty much only had sex during my FW, so I used that time to really spice things up in the bedroom (dressing up, etc) to make it special. We have had sex a total of one time since I got pregnant, and he couldn't finish because of his medication, and it certainly wasn't for lack of trying on either of our parts. He talked to his doc about going off his medication, but it's not going well because he's not doing it the right way (tapering off vs cold turkey). I nag him about it, but he's stubborn, so I just leave it be. Another reason for our lack of sex life right now is because he starts work at 4am and is asleep by 7:30pm-8pm, which is when I'm usually ready-to-go. So yeah, it sucks, but it is what it is. Even pre-pandemic, the only times we really got down & dirty was on the weekends, so I'm lucky that's when I ovulated in January or we wouldn't have gotten pregnant that month.

I've had so many sex dreams, especially in the second trimester, that I've lost count. I've casually mentioned that if the mood strikes him, then I'm game, but he has yet to take me up on that offer.

aefsparrow · May 2020

@babyodo not to pry, and I would private message if we could, but if someone goes off anti-depressants cold turkey depending on type and dosage it can be highly dangerous. I know tapering can be frustrating for a lot of people, but it is the only way to avoid major complications such as stroke, heart attack and seizures (dependent on the medication). It also is possible a different anti-depressant may give him the psychiatric benefits without the ED. Every medication is different and not all people respond to what's used by a certain doctor most frequently (doctors have their favorites) . I am so sorry that you are going through this. It can be really scary for the spouse in this kind of situation, I always suggest to my patients families that they consider talking to someone as well to help alleviate their own emotional burdens.

I'm sorry, I know that was a lot and probably not my place to say.

babyodo · May 2020

I appreciate your sentiments @aefsparrow. I know the risks, especially through the psychopharmacology courses I took in grad school, and as a patient who went off antidepressants prior to TTC (and I did it properly). It's a point of contention between us, and his reply is always, "I'm too stubborn". I hate it. It's so damn frustrating. I have to pick my battles, though, because I'm also on him about quitting smoking, too. His smoking has increased now that he's working from home, too. He used to barely smoke a half a pack a day, and now he's up to almost a pack and a half a day. As a nonsmoker, it disgusts me, and I don't see the point in continuing to do it with all we know about the crap they put in cigarettes, etc. As a clinician, I also know how damn difficult it is to quit smoking, especially since he's been a smoker for 20+ years. But, I straight up told him that if he doesn't quit smoking before the baby comes, then he won't be able to hold her, even if he washes his hands afterward, the smoke and chemicals will still be on his clothes & skin, and I refuse to expose her to that. I also told him that he can't smoke in the car if her baby seat is in there, even when she's not in it, too. So yeah, I'm naggy, and I have to be careful about it, because if it's not one thing it's the other with him.

aefsparrow · May 2020

@babyodo I think we might need a thread for things we need family to do/stop doing before baby is born. We have a few tough conversations with our family in terms of what needs to happen in order to be in contact with the baby and expectations.

amapa20 · May 2020

I've had no sex drive, although I still have sexy dreams pretty often. We both miss the intimacy, but at least he's happy to cuddle.

anitamargarita_82 · May 2020

With both pregnancy’s I’ve had very little sex drive. In general I’m fairly miserable while pregnant. A few weeks ago I had a case of BV and my husband read all about what it was and was asking for exactly what my symptoms were. So that was a fun conversation. But after I deliver and my hormones level back out I’m good to go! Plus by the time our DD is in bed for the night I’m usually about to nod off to sleep. So we just aren’t one the same schedule to even try for intimacy. My husband is older so he gets what I’m going through and doesn’t even ask for it.

jordieburd · May 2020

I'm having high sex drive during the work day when I'm at work thinking about my husband, but when I get home I'm too exhausted, and he is too since we're in the process of cleaning/painting/fixing a house we're about to move into. As much as I want sex though, when we do finally do it the texture of my natural "lady lube" is different and my vagina feels so much more pressure than pleasure.

Plus, I've seen people posting about vaginal issues and I'm having some but when I got checked at the ob, they didn't see any yeast or bacteria to be concerned about. I'll have occasional itchiness in my labia and around the clitoris, not my vagina. Could it be from the changes in my discharge? I just put clotrimazole on it when it flares up every now and then. Anybody else experience this?

kboydbowman · May 2020

@jordieburd honestly, most of my yeast infections are exactly the kind of itchiness you're talking about, without major discharge. So it could still be a yeast infection, although a mild one.

ccstlln1 · May 2020

@jordieburd I’ve had problems with itchiness down there too, but the itchiness is a symptom of a medical issue I’ve been dealing with for years down there. The medication I’m normally on isn’t safe for pregnancy, so right now they’ve got me on Urogesic, which is normally used to ease the symptoms of a UTI, a couple times a day and that’s helping a lot. You could maybe ask about that at your next appointment if you’re still having problems.

salliesqpants · May 2020

Inflammed varicose viens? I have never heard of that happening during pregnancy in the privates. @aefsparrow

salliesqpants · May 2020

My sex drive is higher during pregnancy but with a toddler who hasn't slept through the night since birth, finding the time is hard. When we do have sex it is wonderful. I just feel odd because the baby starts bouncing around when the deed is done. 😅

aefsparrow · May 2020

@salliesqpants neither had I! It went away within 2 days and some hot/cold compresses, but my doctor said it can happen to some women, it mostly depends on the anatomy of the nether bits and blood flow. I've had it happen twice so far.

poppyseed314 · June 2020

My sex drive hasn't changed all that much since pregnancy (we've always sort of been a do-it-on-the-weekend-maybe couple) but I find that it's hard to find a comfy position these days. Our previous go-to involved a lot of arching my back and honestly it's just pretty painful to do that anymore. I feel like my stomach will burst open, which is not sexy at all. Anyone out there finding any really comfy positions?

kboydbowman · June 2020

@poppyseed314 Him standing beside the bed and me and a sort of fetal position with my butt at the edge of the bed if that makes any sense. So I'm on my side and he is standing

aefsparrow · June 2020

We're still able to rock missionary for quickies, but if he's going for a marathon then big spoon little spoon style on my left side.

jesswho26 · June 2020

I've always had a fairly healthy sex drive and in my first trimester i had a super high sex drive and since my second I've found it a lot more difficult. I'm always into the idea of it, but with a growing belly, constantly having to go pee and most positions feeling uncomfortable for me it kinda ruins it. I've also found orgasms tend to feel different, like not as intense as pre-pregnancy. We've found oral is the only way we can really enjoy each other, but I miss my regular sex drive a lot.

Want a personalized experience?

Sex, of the orgasm kind

Re: Sex, of the orgasm kind

Choose Another Board

Search Boards