What if husband insists on going to ultrasound appointment?

lexirainbow · May 2020

My husband and I are first time parents. We both would really like to go to the ultrasound appointment, but we've been told that no one else except me can go in. I know it would be breaking the rules, but what would happen if he actually tried to come in with me?
My doctor's office is really small, only a few exam rooms, so I don't know if that might help or not. Any insight would be great.

gh1219 · May 2020

This is all in my opinion. I do not recommend trying to break the rules they've set in place for your and others (and the babies') health. I'm a doctor and if someone in our office was disregarding the office's health policies, we would cancel that appointment and ask the offenders to leave the office. It's also a bad foot to start on with the OB since it's an important relationship to cultivate. I understand it is not fair, almost everyone here, including me, has struggled with these policies. Think about those patients who are dying alone in the hospital and their loved ones cannot say goodbye. It's not worth it.

bearmomma1 · May 2020

@lexirainbow I don't understand how he would 'try to go in' with you. If he tried walking past the doors, they would probably ask you both to leave and not perform the ultrasound. See if they can do Facetime during the appointment.

BmcD2016 · May 2020

I echo what @gh1219 said. FaceTime or take a video if you’re able to, if not it’ll be a part of your child’s story you can tell them later.

You are only going to pi$$ off the office staff if he tries to go in with you. And if he doesn’t take no for an answer and argues with them, I honestly wouldn’t put it past any doctor’s office to drop you as a patient.

akoros · May 2020

Ask if you can use Facetime, Zoom, Duo, or any of the dozens of video apps. Yes, it sucks, but the restriction is there for a reason. It's a very selfish and entitled to flout the rules because you/he feel like it. You're essentially saying that you're more special and important than any of their other patients. We're going to be first time parents, too (if this pregnancy is successful). On top of it, I know the ultrasounds are going to be extremely difficult for me, as we lost a pregnancy this past December after an abnormal 12-week scan. I'm expecting to be a wreck at my 8- and 12-week scans, and my husband wants nothing more than to be there to support me. However, he won't be. I'll suck it up and deal.

As far as what would actually happen, it entirely depends on the practice. They're private businesses and not obligated to treat you, so I would expect them to ask him to leave at a minimum, if not cancel the entire appointment.

karmba · May 2020

I agree with @BmcD2016 - if your husband goes with you, you risk the practice dropping you as a patient.

Personally, if I was in the waiting room and saw a guest with another patient I would be upset. And if the practice didn't turn both people away, I'd question if I wanted to continue with them. If they'd break that rule for you - what other rules/procedures would they be willing to break.

dreamscapes_ · May 2020

My only suggestion is to double check a couple days before your appointment. My 8 week was today, and I called to confirm if my husband could come with me or not. They literally changed the policy last week to allow patients to bring one adult with them. So, if that’s the case now, plan for it, but double check when you have just a couple days left.

girlmama83 · May 2020

Please don’t. The rules are in place for a reason. I went to an ultrasound without my husband today. It sucks but it is what it is. I think FaceTime is a great solution for now. Definitely better than nothing!

I don’t like the idea of putting the staff in the position of having to deal with that when the rules have already been communicated to patients. If they say no, which they are going to, is he going to say okay and leave?

lexirainbow · May 2020

I appreciate everyone's advice, and I didn't want to upset anyone by asking the question. I was mostly just curious what you think would happen. I don't really ever break the rules anywhere.
I did think of an alternative, though. There is a place nearby that only does ultrasounds, and will be able to do one once I'm 14 weeks (I'm only 10 weeks now). If my hubby isn't able to go to any ultrasounds by that time, we'll probably go to the ultrasound place so we can at least get to experience that. I've already called them and they are allowing one guest in per ultrasound.
Thanks again everyone!

akoros · May 2020

Thank you for taking the feedback graciously, @lexirainbow. I admit, I was a little upset (it's easy to do these days, no hard feelings towards you). Your alternative sounds like a really good option, and I'm glad your husband is so excited and wants to be there with you through all the steps.

karmba · May 2020

@lexirainbow I think that's a good plan. And I think @dreamscapes_ suggestion of calling the day before to verify their policies is a good idea as well.

antera23 · May 2020

@lexirainbow I hope your husband is agreeable to that plan because it sounds like the best option! It’s a strange world we are living in and I really feel for first time moms who aren’t able to have support people at appointments, visitors after baby, or have to cancel baby showers.

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