December 2020 Moms

WTF Wednesday 5/6

What the actual F?
TTC History:
Me: 36 H: 40 Married 2015. Together since 2010.
TTC: Sept 2016-Oct 2017
BFP Oct 2017. DD born July 2018.
TTC: March 2020. BFP March 2020
Due date was Nov 2020
DS born Sept 2020. DS passed away Nov 2020 due to prematurity and birth trauma.
TTC: March 2021
IUI #1 Nov 2021, BFN
IUI #2 Dec 2021 BFP.  MC Jan 2022
IUI #3 Aug 2022 BFN
IUI #4 Sept 2022 BFN
AMH test came back at .081. Was going to move on to IVF with DE, but have decided not to. Will be leaving it up to the universe now.



Re: WTF Wednesday 5/6

  • All of my bitching is basically related online orders/shipping but that's about the extent of my life right now so...I ordered my Mother's day gift (I know, I always do) on April 20th and it still hasn't shipped! The company gave ZERO indication that it wasn't available to ship or that it would be delayed. WAH! 

    Also, I don't know how much you all know about the Bill and Melinda Gates "foundation" and how much of a hand it's had in fucking up public education in the US but now our Governor (who had been doing well) is teaming up with them to "re imagine" education in NY. It didn't work out very well last time *cough cough common core* so let's see what a shit show this will be. 
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  • My job is stressing me out, specifically my two coworkers who I considered friends. I work in a dental office as a hygienist. My state just reopened and my office will be reopening soon, but with a lot of new guidelines and PPE in place. I decided to let the owner/my boss know a few weeks ago that I was pregnant. Only one dental hygienist will be working at a time for an unknown amount of time in order to keep less people in the office at once. Normally there's 2-3 of us working a day. I asked the owner if it would be ok if I was the last hygienist integrated back into the schedule and she agreed thankfully. So we came to the conclusion that once the schedule is full for the other 3 hygienists and they are ready to fill my column, I'll come back.

    One hygienist that I've been friendly with called me asking if I had talked with the owner on the side about what the schedule will be like. I told her that I recently found out I'm pregnant and have an agreement with the owner to stay home until I'm absolutely needed. She told me that she was hoping to be the last one back on the schedule because she's filing DOUBLE UNEMPLOYMENT (I live in St. Louis, which is very close to the Illinois border and she lives in IL, drives to St. Louis for work) so she is getting unemployment from TWO STATES. She said that that on top of the that she needs to stay home to "watch" her 15 year old son because he recently told her he wanted to have sex with his girlfriend and the schools are closed for the rest of the school year. W.T.F.
    That is not a good excuse, my reason is actually valid.

    She got frustrated that I was already cleared to be the last one back at work because it'll ruin her unemployment checks when she goes back part time. My other coworker friend is mad that I'm not attending an in person office meeting tomorrow for some ridiculous reason. The owner told me I didn't need to be there since I won't be starting back right away and it's basically a dress rehearsal for reopen. So my "friend" won't text me back now. 

    SORRY that was long! Feeling all the frustration over here and feeling like I'm back in high school. 

    @willashbaby I've been trying to monitor when things will ship and some are so deceiving! All my normal amazon prime orders are taking a week on average, even though they say prime eligible. I hope you get your package before Sunday! When I've had presents arrive late I print a picture of what I ordered and stick it in the card I got them and tell them it got delayed! 
    Me: 30 DH: 31
    Married: May 2008
    DD Born: March 2018
    DS Born: April 2019
    Due with #3 December 2020!
  • @JBcakes08 OMG what a double dipping asshole! 
  • @willashbaby my jaw dropped on the phone when she told me, I was glad she couldn't see my face. I haven't looked it up but it definitely sounds illegal. So many people are having trouble getting payment and she's getting paid twice. What a scam artist. 
    Me: 30 DH: 31
    Married: May 2008
    DD Born: March 2018
    DS Born: April 2019
    Due with #3 December 2020!
  • @JBcakes08 That is a WTF for sure, what a jerk!
  • @JBcakes08 it is definitely some kind of illegal. And your coworkers can shove it. You have not actually inconvenienced either of them. There is no way the scam artist would actually admit to her boss she didn't want to come back so she could continue double dipping so beyond a complete lack of integrity her frustration with you is unfounded.

    @willashbaby I feel you. We decided to update one of our bathrooms and have had a horrible time getting things like a shower curtain rod or cabinet pulls in. I've been resigner to only showers in a corner stall since we moved in November. I want a bath. Or elbow room. 

    My personal WTF - my father in law. He just, exists in a world all his own. I understand he's bored and gets lonely, but he raised 3 boys by himself for several/many years... Why does my husband have to remind him he can't go roaming around Rural King or stand around bullshitting in the driveway for hours because he has his own shit to do and kids he wants to be around? Also, taking the pandemic "seriously" but still browsing at Rural King? Making the rounds to visit all three sons and their kids while he's in town? I love the man but he is a chore.
    image     image
  • My MIL has a lot of thoughts about names.  I have already told my husband we are not telling anyone the name until the paperwork is all filled out.  The baby is named this and it is all done now.  She was like I don't want you to step into any family pitfalls for names.  Well if I don't know about them, how bad a pitfall can it really be? 

    Her new husband is so excited to be a grandpa (even though he has many grandchildren on his own).  He only joined the family recently and I don't think that is going to fly with my husband and I.  My mom says just appreciate his excitement and I am sincerely trying!

    @mom_of_the_vogels. My grandmother seems to be the same way about the pandemic.  I try to remember she has nothing happening in her life, but it is so hard.  Many family members are healthcare workers and it is difficult to see her unnecessarily putting herself at risk while they are busting butt trying to stay safe.  
  • @dobiemom11 we told my parents they could have one "veto." - No I absolutely hate that name, and we wouldn't use it. 
     Then deliberately told my dad (who has control issues) we were naming him the same name as my uncle he hates. Of course he used up their veto on that, so we then pulled out our actual name. Which he didn't love at first, but  he hated the thought of us naming him anything to do with my uncle... and had agreed one "no, this is important to me" ahead of time was reasonable... 
    Obnoxious game playing, but it worked. 




  • @jbcakes08 put me in the “pretty sure it’s illegal” boat. I also read that if you choose to stay home to watch your kids, you will lose your unemployment benefits. It’s considered a voluntary quit, even if your child is an infant or toddler. At least here in Florida, but they hate paying out anyway. Also, a quick google search shows that you file in the state you work in (so she’d file in MO, not IL) and double filing seems to be illegal. 

    @dobiemom11 for some reason, my sister named her son Volcano. I still don’t know why. The names we have short listed are things like James and Charlotte 🤣
    Me: 36 | DH: 35 | Married: 9.17.16
    Diminished ovarian reserve
    BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
  • We didn't give anyone a chance to weigh in on any names. With our first when we announced I was prego we said if it's a boy this is the name, if it's a girl it's this. With #2 we didn't pick a boy's name out in advance (girl's would have been the same since we didn't use it) so we accepted suggestions but no one was allowed to vote or veto. Name decision discussions were exclusively between hubs and I when at home. When we did annouce the names there was some huffing, but I did not care in the slightest and (as predicted) once the baby was here it was baby's name not "this jerk I once knew by that name..." BS from the peanut gallery.

    It helped that we have/had very specific reasons for the names we picked...

    Boy #1 is named for civil rights activists
    Boy #2 is named for astronauts
    Unused girl name is for Environmental activists. 

    How can you complain about a baby having the name of someone we considered a hero? 
    image     image
  • @willashbaby wow. Just wow. She's a piece of work!

    @dobiemom11 We shared our name for DS and I regretted it because everyone had something to say. With DD we kept it to ourselves until she was born and it was so nice not to hear anyone's comments. Of course my mom had her comments to say afterwards but I put a stop to it real quick. This time we are team green and will not be discussing names with anyone again. 

    My WTF is my mom (this will more than likely be a reoccurring theme for me). We havent told anyone we are pregnant yet but my mom is definitely suspicious and keeps asking my brother (we all live together) if I am. She has some boundary issues and doesnt know when to stop prying. Then she tells me that my brother keeps dreaming I'm pregnant (not true but that's how my mom is) and "not that she wouldn't take another grand baby but it's pretty poor timing on my part." I have PCOS and dont get pregnant easy so that kind of hurt.
  • @nmadjeski That’s a pretty sassy comment! Sounds like maybe she’s just trying to get a rise out of you so you’ll admit it.
  • @laurenspdx oh most definitely! 
  • This is more of a funny wtf than anything, but I thought you guys would get a kick out of it. Our two cats don’t get along yet. Phantom (who was here first) pretty much has run of the house, while Broadway (came home in February) usually stays in “his” room unless he wants to come out. Well, today, we have a gate in the doorway. Earlier, he heard my husband open the door to our balcony and leaped over the gate and came scurrying over. This wouldn’t be so funny if he wasn’t 18 pounds 🤣 It’s like a flying ham when he does that. 
    Me: 36 | DH: 35 | Married: 9.17.16
    Diminished ovarian reserve
    BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
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