Does this Mother's Day count?

dontcallmeshirley1 · May 2020

For FTM's, does this count as your first Mother's Day? For STM+, does this count as first Mother's Day with the new baby?

Please feel free to duke it out angrily in the comments. I'm looking for flame wars, ladies.

mflowers929 · May 2020

I definitely made DH buy me stuff for mother's day before DS was born in June lol. So hell yes it counts! 😂

Louise_Belcher · May 2020

Nope. Doesn’t count for me. Also I don’t want gifts from my husband for Mother’s Day. I am not his mother. I want things from my kids. So get crafting and creative until they can actually shop daddy! I much prefer a weird shirt or funny sun glasses that my kid is proud of getting me.

rosesintherain · May 2020

I bought myself something for mother’s day. I can’t wait until my 2.5 year old can make me something! He can scribble pictures which I’ve been keeping lol but a real thought out picture for mom I can’t wait!

dontcallmeshirley1 · May 2020

@Louise_Belcher Oh man I'm flaming you big time. My DH damned well better get me something "from" the baby, as well as making sure my three older kids do something for me!

momofmiracles31889 · May 2020

Hahaha I agree that it absolutely counts! We are growing a human being inside of us and providing baby with everything baby needs I would say that certainly counts as mothering 😂 I am looking forward to see what DH and DS come up with this year for me 😃

also *TW*- as a loss mom I went through 2 mothers days after losses before I had a baby here in my arms and I just want to say that it meant the world to me when DH, my mom, and a few sweet friends acknowledged me on those days since I am still a momma to my angel babies and will always carry them in my heart! I remember one friend sent me flowers and a card the one year, another friend who is also a loss momma wrote a sweet text. I just wanted to share that as encouragement to reach out to any loss mamas/infertility fighters you may have in your life to support them on what can be a very difficult day!

mflowers929 · May 2020

@momofmiracles31889 100%. I consider myself a mom of 5 even though I only have one and a half here with me now.

angbaby83 · May 2020

I didn’t really expect anything when I was pregnant with my daughter. I didn’t really feel like a mom yet. But I say it should count if you want it to. I’m not a huge gift person but I do look forward to a good brunch. Kinda bummed we can’t go out but I’m sure we’ll make our own. My most treasured gift thus far is something daycare helped my daughter make with her handprints. My husband gets me something because his love language is gifts so I won’t turn it down 🙂

jennifer_louise · May 2020

Agreed @momofmiracles31889 @dontcallmeshirley1. I am delivering some Mother's Day gifts to ladies in my neighborhood (sorry, @Louise_Belcher, I certainly am not their kid!) and also to my friend who's expecting her first. I just think they're all amazing moms who should be acknowledged as such in as many ways as possible!

Louise_Belcher · May 2020

@dontcallmeshirley1 I knew I would be the odd man out on this one. 😆 H spending money on me isn’t really something I love. We haven’t exchanged Christmas gifts in years. It is definitely on H to coordinate for the kids to do something for me though. When the kids are older and can do it on their own (adults or late high school) I don’t expect a gift from him as well. Edit to add that my birthday is with in a week or less of Mother’s Day so he does gift me something within a small proximity of Mother’s Day and that may sway my feelings.

momofmiracles31889 · May 2020

@mflowers929 yes! Me too! Before our DS came to us it was too hard for me to answer yes when people asked if I have children. But now I make a point to talk about my angel babies when giving the kid count (it’s always a mini novel at ultrasounds when I get asked if it’s my first- not my first pregnancy or my first living child since we have our adopted DS but it is my first pregnancy to make it this far- complicated!) but being open has led to so many cool conversations- even mamas who are a whole generation above us opening up about their losses in their past. I think it’s just so important to share our stories because you never know who needs to hear it and will be encouraged, inspired or just know they’re not alone!

rosesintherain · May 2020

@momofmiracles31889 and @mflowers929 I’m glad to hear that other mom’s of angels keep including them! I consider myself a mother of 3 too.

@Louise_Belcher birthdays by holidays like that is kind of tough to keep the celebrations going lol. And I prefer to buy my own gifts my husband is bad at it lol. Most of the time I just buy what I want for myself and then if it’s close to a holiday call it a gift lol. But I do hope he will take our boys shopping for me in the future!

swizzlemalarkey · May 2020

I was just talking to H about this today! I told him it counts and he says it doesn’t but I was like I’m totally responsible for this baby already so it counts in my eyes lol but I don’t expect anything

Louise_Belcher · May 2020

@jennifer_louise That is so sweet of you to get things for those ladies. I am sure they will love and appreciate your thoughtfulness. Thoughtfulness in that way has never been my forte but I am always appreciative when I am the recipient from some of my girlfriends who are thoughtful in that way on special days. I am certainly not judging anyone for celebrating any and all moms they feel are deserving. Moms need all the love they can get! I just veer toward only celebrating my mom.

@ktholysz When it is something small like clothing H does a great job, but big purchases it most likely isn’t gonna be the very specific thing I had in mind. My combo of frugal and semi-minimalist make it hard for H to buy me things. For Christmas we usually make a plan and do the next big purchase that was waiting in the pipeline. And my birthday I try to be very specific with my present ideas. It is so funny what the kids pick out shopping. I got a rad pair of mirrored heart shape sunglasses from them for Christmas. They call me beautiful whenever I wear them. 🙂

jennifer_louise · May 2020

@Louise_Belcher that's so sweet about your sons and the sunglasses! I about melt when DD gives me a compliment. And yeah, celebrating your own mom is definitely the most important part. I never made a big deal about Mother's Day until I became one and realized how hard it is 😂. Better late than never I guess, so, Thanks Ma!

swizzlemalarkey · May 2020

@Louise_Belcher omg that’s the cutest thing that they call you beautiful when you wear them! The thought of H going to the store with our kid(s) to pick me out something? I die 😍

robinj716 · May 2020

@Louise_Belcher I always say the same thing; I want my H to help my son get something for me, even if they just draw a card together, I much prefer the homemade things versus just going to get flowers.

Mother’s Day is hard for us because I don’t talk to my mom, and my MIL passed away June 2018, so it’s still fresh and hard to celebrate when we are sad too.

balletnerd · May 2020

With DD we hadn’t announced publicly yet- but he got me a pregnancy body pillow and a card which was sweet.

This time around I think he’s getting me some decor for our new house and attempting a craft with the 2 ur old.

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