May 2020 Mental Health Check-In

inthewoods23 · May 2020

U.S: National Suicide Prevention : 1-800-273-TALK [8255]

Chat option: https://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx

Link to Canadian Resources: https://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/

This is a safe place for more detailed support in mental health, struggles, and successes. Whereas general stress and issues are often discussed in R/R of dailies, this place is for a more focused discussion of the impact of mental health. Members are encouraged to use thoughtfulness and depth to examine feelings, barriers, and useful supports.

This post can be replied to at any time during the month. Not limited to those with a mental health diagnosis, but please be sensitive to others. We will attempt to be as flame free as possible!

Feel free to share, vent, or support other members on this thread. Share a picture/gif that expresses how you feel or provides some comfort.

If you need help getting started, consider filling out the form below:

Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:

Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):

How are you feeling?

Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)

ashaislurking · May 2020

I'm just going to jump in with an intro here so I get notifications on this thread-
For anyone who is newer and doesn't know me, I'm Asha and I'm a mental health counseling grad student. While I obviously can't offer any professional advice, even if I had my full license, if there's anything you need to talk about that you don't think you can post in this thread, my inbox is ALWAYS open and confidential! Sending lots of love!
Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: I have diagnosed type II bipolar disorder (primary diagnosis), PTSD, and generalized anxiety disorder. Lately I've been having symptom flare ups of all three but have thankfully been able to manage.

Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): WTO

How are you feeling? Aside from the symptom flare ups I've been okay. Some days are much harder than others and I just don't want to get out of bed. I've been having really bad flashbacks and nightmares again which has probably been the hardest thing, because I can't really meditate my way through those like I can a panic attack or a bad phase switch. It's the time of year that's triggering my PTSD symptoms, so hopefully in the next few weeks they start to go away.

Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) Talking to my faculty mentor soon to get on track to finding a mental health counselor who specializes in working with other mental health professionals.

inthewoods23 · May 2020

@ashaislurking ha, I do the same, just get my post in so I see the notifications. I'll probably have more to talk about next week after my next session. I hate when these threads get lost to the 2nd page too. Glad you have been able to manage things - that is so much to have on 1 plate!

Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: I'm a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), anxiety

Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): WTO

How are you feeling? The last week and a half has been really good. I've taken much of what my therapist said last week and have taken it to heart. I think I'm more mindful of my behavior and not being so argumentative and fighting with DH. I've also been reading more of the book The Highly Sensitive Person and recently found a podcast all about being an HSP so I'm getting much more comfortable with the reality of having this trait and slowly becoming more accepting of who I am.

Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) Counseling has been going well. I remember thinking I need meds to help manage my anxious days but the more I'm learning about me, the more I'm understanding that it just comes with being an HSP. My anxiety and this need for control I have aren't because something is wrong with me.

AND probably even more importantly, I think by going through this process of finally understanding myself, my mind is more ready to be a mom. Like I don't think I could be the mom I know I can be unless I truly discovered me. Not to say that's the cause of my infertility, but my therapist did wonder if there was something I wasn't letting go of that could be what was holding us back from conceiving. My mom, when I was a teenager/early 20s, used to always tell me not to get pregnant young (says the woman who had kids during the ages of 20-24) and my therapist asked if that could have something to do with our struggles and I brushed her off like, no way, she hasn't said that in years. It was something that would pop back in my head randomly over the years and so maybe my therapist was right all along? I really look forward to finding out that answer.

ashaislurking · May 2020

@inthewoods23 I'm glad things have gotten better after last session. I'm definitely one of those people that once I got an accurate diagnosis it was hard to take in and I joined a support group, got a few books, and found a few youtubers who I love who talk very openly about bipolar disorder. I'm glad you've found some comfort in similar things.

inthewoods23 · May 2020

*sigh* great I just had a massive meltdown after fighting DH.

This is where I go "I hate my life"

Thank god it's Friday so I have the whole weekend to get back on track.

whitealbum29 · May 2020

@inthewoods23 Ugh hugs to you! I hope you're able to get back on track this weekend!

linzrunz · May 2020

@inthewoods23 Checking in with you. Hope you're feeling better today! Let us know if we can do anything for you. We're here for you.

inthewoods23 · May 2020

Ugh fuck these sessions are hard.

Any tips or tricks to being less rigid and more kind? Every session is just proof I'm total garbage towards DH and he definitely deserves better

My therapist is absolutely right though, DH and I should just skip out of the yearly family vacation because we are clearly better off by ourselves.

Backstory: I hope this doesn't get long.... Might spoiler it. Yep, gonna spoiler it.

Basically, over the last few years we've found the vacation to be more and more stressful and less of a nice, relaxing vacation. This trip is to the northern part of the state at a cottage on a lake. Even my ILs agree that my SIL and her BF are really putting a damper on these vacations because there's usually some kind of fight between the 2 of them or SIL is just irritated about something that someone else did (like getting mad during a game one night). Last year there was a day where SIL was mad about something shortly before we were going to go out on the boat and that made her BF also not want to come along because he wanted to talk it out with her or whatever so it was just the 4 of us out on the boat. And it. was. amazing. We stayed out for 6 hours just letting the light winds blow us around on one of the lakes. We occasionally fished and just basked in the sun or just chilled. It was the best part of the vacation for the 4 of us. When it's all 6 of us on the boat it's just too many people and SIL's BF apparently doesn't like silence so he's always talking.

There's also been the rule in place since the very first year that there's no hanky panky while on vacation because the cottage is small and the rooms are all very close to each other and share walls (also our bedroom uses those folding closet doors as the door so no sound proofing). Well I found out last year that SIL and BF broke that rule EVERY DAY the first year he came up and had a bet going last year that she wouldn't give in to him wanting sex until after her birthday (which sometimes has fallen during the week we're on vacation). So of course I was fuming hearing about this because DH and I have followed that rule every single year and they break it the first year she's got a BF. And of course there's been no consequences for their actions from my ILs. Like wtf is the point of this rule if you're not going to at least scold them for breaking it?

So yeah, the breaking of this rule, and SIL's piss poor attitude have ruined this vacation for us. My MIL actually wants to have a family meeting about behavior for the vacation and my therapist said it's a very bad idea and I really couldn't agree more. The last time DH's family had a family meeting it was supposed to be (again) about SIL's attitude and that ended up with her shoving DH in his chair and knocking him over. You can imagine how this next one will go I'm sure.

DH and I have talked about doing something else for a vacation like going camping but then everything is at our expense vs splitting costs with the ILs. I'd actually be super curious how a vacation would go at that cottage if it was just the 4 of them without us.

May 2020 Mental Health Check-In

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