Baby showers with a pandemic

Re: Baby showers with a pandemic

• pocketrose member

  April 2020

  We're thinking of doing a virtual shower if by mid-June an in-person shower doesn't seem possible but I think we'd do more of a video call for virtual games and the like to be played and maybe some gift opening. While I could use the offload of some other folks buying me a few things, doing a shower like this would make me uncomfortable/I'd feel a bit odd getting an invite like this because it's solely gift focused (but also, don't take this as a judgment, you know your crowd better than I certainly, more commenting for others out there thinking about a virtual shower).

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• amygray725 member

  April 2020

  I may be in the minority here, but a virtual baby shower sounds absolutely horrible to me. I hold no judgement to those of you who want to do it, and are excited about it, but I can barely get through my Zoom meetings for work at this point. Internet has been a challenge to keep the feed and audio going, and the idea of trying to teach my older family members HOW to use any video platform from a distance is overwhelming. Plus playing baby games with people who are all in different locations, coordinating all the materials that would need to get sent out to make this happen, and the fact that a lot of people just outright hate baby shower games to begin with...yikes. 

  
  

  I may be more new school in the sense that I would much rather send you a gift and get a thank you card in return just to avoid all this mess. In fact, that’s exactly what I plan to do for my other 3 friends who are delivering before me. 

  
  

  Again, no judgement if you’re into all this. It’s just not for me. 

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• b_1029 member

  April 2020

  @amygray725 a virtual shower sounded fine in my head, but like 10 people from DH’s family including us tried to do a Zoom thing the other night and phew, it was a lot. I have no idea how you’d coordinate with an entire side of the family. 
  If people sent me gifts I would honestly just rather FaceTime them individually and open it on camera, or just call them once it was opened. Idk. 

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• pocketrose member

  April 2020

  @amygray725 I see both sides! Definitely wouldn't be like a 2 hour ordeal or whatnot, I think if I ended up doing this (and I'm hoping that instead it can wait until in person in mid/late June) it would be 1-3 easy games, some gift opening, and some chatter, not much more than 45 minutes total. 

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• suki996 member

  April 2020

  Yea, I agree too many logistics to work out via vidcon, and a little awkward to just ask for gifts via mail. We’re sad to miss out on celebrating with family and friends but it’s fine. Our plan is to send out a note of the expected due date and that we’ll catch them for a post-birth shindig in Aug/Sep. our closest family and friends will get registry, but for now baby and I will be fine with the bare necessities.

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• pocketrose member

  April 2020

  @suki996 We may end up going that route too, one of my friends suggested a "Sip and See" (new to me term) post baby in September although part of me is like...do I really want a bunch of people around my newborn? Pandemic life blows.

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• amygray725 member

  April 2020

  I sent my mom, MIL and best friend an email with our registry and explaining that there wouldn’t be a shower because of the virus, but if anyone asked them if we had a registry they could share it. 

  
  

  The next thing I know my mom posts my email on our families Facebook group. She then emailed me back and was like “hell no, this virus isn’t ruining this too! You need stuff as a first time mom and your family will understand.”
  
  I was mortified, but then my family started replying that they completely understood. I’ve had several items purchased so far. I know baby showers aren’t all about gifts... but that’s a big part as a FTM. That’s not PC to say but it’s the truth.  Trying to get all the little stuff really adds up quickly. It’s nice to get a little help. 

  
  

  I think I’m going to record myself opening everything when it arrives and posting it to family in addition to writing lengthy thank you cards. 

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• modoodles member

  April 2020

  @amygray725 showers and gifts honestly help out SO much. I had a shower with my first (15 years ago) and had 3 kids afterwards with no shower (and would have turned them down anyway.) But for this baby- I remarried a year ago and there is an 8 year gap between baby and youngest, and this is DH's only child. We were definitely looking forward to a shower. I made a registry months ago, and when I shared pictures on FB of my husband painting the nursery, my sister asked if we had a registry and my husband posted the link in a comment. Now my friends and family have been sending things from the registry and it means so much. Don't be embarrassed about it- if people want to shower you and your new baby- they will. ❤

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• pocketrose member

  April 2020

  I definitely wouldn't be embarrassed about it @amygray725, it seems like this is a thing your crowd wants to do so I'd lean in to it! My mom or another friend/relative who aren't on social media and are not overly tech savvy would have thrown mine although a few younger/more tech savvy friends offered to host/help. I think my plan is to reach out to those friends and float an optional virtual shower, invite folks digitally, include a registry link, and then see what happens. If only 6 people show and we play a quick game but 30+ people get the invite and some of them send a gift that would be fine with me for both the camaraderie part and the "yup, FTM and I need stuff" part too. My biggest hesitance is that 1. H and I have not told social media about having a baby so I can't post there and 2. I'll probably be doing some of the legwork of a virtual shower so the risk of it looking "gift-grabby" is higher for me if that makes sense.
  
  TLDR, this is a "you do you"/know your crowd situation, no judgment at all!

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• b_1029 member

  April 2020

  @amygray725 no judgement here, if someone happened to do that for me I would be embarrassed too but also secretly happy...it is part of being a FTM and everything you don’t have to buy is very helpful! 

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• m3lisssaaa member

  April 2020

  We just sent it to immediate family and co workers that had asked about our registry.
  We plan on doing something later on in the year like a bbq at a park and just having people over to all be together and the baby older. We thought about a sip and see but germs and a new baby just dont mix right away lol.  

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• blaf322 member

  April 2020

  @amygray725 I wouldn't be embarrassed... I think almost anyone who has had a baby and understands just how much stuff you need can understand. And, honestly, showers ARE about the gifts. The point is to shower the new mom (with stuff). I think it's different when you're a STM+ who has had kids recently... but as a first time parent, I think you absolutely need the stuff and it's totally okay that your mom asked for it! Go grandma!
  
  

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