Birth Hopes

catem07 · February 2020

Since we've started talking about L&D, thought it would be a good time to start the discussion around birth hopes (or plans, but I like hopes better because you know what they say about the best laid plans). When I was a FTM I had no idea about the different things that might happen or the choices I might be presented with. I actually found the book Birth Plans for Dummies (yep, that exists) really helpful in laying out different things (though I think it might be a little outdated, at least if you're in an area where medicine is practiced more at the cutting edge. For example, the book suggested episiotomies were commonplace and that's not true in Boston.)

What do you hope for in your L&D experience? What questions do you have?

thepretzelchick · February 2020

1. I hope to not actually go into labour before my RCS date

2. I hope my spinal takes effect quicker. It took awhile last time and I felt myself getting cut open, sans pain. It was trippy and I'd rather not repeat it.
3. I hope to not have bronchitis again and panic when I try to cough but can't feel my chest and have to ask the anesthesiologist if I'm actually breathing.
4. I plan not to chug Sprite in recovery and I hope I don't puke all over myself again.
5. I plan to take stool softeners and hope I don't have poop trouble. I still have horror flashbacks to after DS.

ruby696 · February 2020

1. I hope to make it to 38 weeks.

2. I hope that I can finally make a decision on the c-section v 2nd VBAC issue (still don't know what I want to do).

3. If I do have another c-section, I hope they can untie me and take all the hot towels away from my neck so I don't have a panic attack (or near panic attack). Damn claustrophobia.

4. If I do have a VBAC, I hope my hemorrhoids don't explode (can they do that?).

5. Also hope that if I go the VBAC route, it will be better than last time. I mean, last time was fine, but I kept wondering to myself why anyone would want to do that voluntarily? And who knew having a baby felt like pushing a football out of your butt? Clearly my expectations were too high last time. 😆

6. Biggest hope is that we don't need NICU time and babies get to come home with me when I'm discharged.

soprano19 · February 2020

I hope my L&D with DD2 goes as smoothly as it did with DD1. I have good memories of her birth and I would really like to have them this time around as well.

I hope my water breaks in the hospital again and not at home because that was the point at which things escalated quickly last time (as I know it is for most people).

I hope I don’t go into labor/need to go to the hospital in the middle of the day when I’m already on maternity leave and H is 45 minutes away at work.

rox7777 · February 2020

1. Hoping for a VBAC, but we have a RCS scheduled for my DD should I not go into labor before 40 weeks.

2. She stays in until 37 weeks. DS2 was born at 36 weeks and even though he was perfectly healthy he still had to spend an hour in the NICU and pass the car seat test (took 3 tries and added an extra day to our stay).

3. Also hoping I can go home after 12-24 hours. I hate the hospital, MH has to stay home with the kids and I don’t want visitors outside of my household while at the hospital.

m6agua · February 2020

I hope to go into labor on my own and avoid scheduling an induction until 41+ weeks and avoid a c-section.
I hope the room with the tub is available so I can use it again this time.
I hope to manage labor and delivery without any medication. I'm open to Nubain, but if I feel I need it, I want to avoid getting it too close to delivery.
I hope to be more awake and present at the time of birth. (Nubain made me tired and not present last time with my second dose being so close to delivery).
I'm scared of precipitous labor and I hope that doesn't happen with me. My labor last time was fairly quick.

catem07 · February 2020

I want to have a vaginal birth (no reason to believe at this point that that won't happen). Bring on the epidural. I was induced and wouldn't mind that this time too, but would welcome the natural process of labor. I don't really want this baby to come before my due date, but I do want to start labor during a weekday because my doctor only delivers on weekdays or when she's on call.

This is totally small and not important, but DD was born at 5am and I really liked laboring at night. I got an epidural around 10pm, went to sleep for a few hours, and woke up in transition.

I'm considered turning down the erythromycin (if I'm GBS negative). DD1 had a really bad blocked duct and I can't help but think erythromycin contributed to it. She didn't even really open her eyes for her first day alive and then a week later she had tons of gunk in her eye. I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea. I know it also protects against e coli, so there's where I'm not sure.

m6agua · February 2020

@catem07 Good point! I was GBS+ and needed the antibiotics. We just barely got both doses in before birth. In fact once my water broke I immediately had the urge to push. They got me in bed and the IV came out of my arm in the process. I just wanted to push and they were more concerned about getting the IV back in to finish the last 10 minutes of the dose.

I'm hoping to avoid being GBS+ this time. If I do test positive at 36 weeks I think I will ask to get the test again closer to my due date in hopes that it changes.

pirateduck · February 2020

Thank you for starting this thread. I have a lot to learn in terms of what to expect and what sorts of choices I might have, but here are a few hopes that are mostly out of my control.

I hope labor is long enough that I feel like I can get to the hospital in time without delivering on the side of the road, but not so long that it destroys me.

I keep forgetting to ask my OB, but I know my hospital of choice has a cutoff in terms of how many weeks you have to make it to be allowed to deliver there because they don't have a NICU to deal with super early babies. I hope that I make this cutoff and can deliver at my hospital of choice and do not have to go to the city.

I hope there's not a snow storm and I hope I don't need an ambulance ride.

I hope baby is big enough that she won't need special care and small enough to avoid major delivery complications.

I hope my favorite OB is on call.

I hope we bring enough food and snacks and I feel well enough to eat.

I hope my hubby is there the whole time.

I hope I can count on my petsitter, but also that they will not be around when I arrive home from the hospital.

mokay19 · February 2020

1. I hope that I make it to the hospital in time (with DD my water broke while I was sleeping and I woke up to the feeling of it at 2:45am and she was out at 5:06am)

2. I hope to go unmedicated again—not that I did by choice the first time, but I liked the recovery and I’m prone to serious migraines.

3. Just like @ruby696 I hope my hemorrhoids don’t explode... if that’s a thing!

4. I hope pooping is easier after this birth!

chewie5990 · February 2020

1. I really hope I can go into labor naturally
2. I hope if I do go into labor naturally that I'm able to get my VBAC and that everything just goes okay
3. If I do have to go through a c-section, I hope it goes as smoothly as my first c-section and the recovery process isn't too bad.

My mindset is that birth is a means to an end - the baby is what's important, so I try to not be too focused on "birth plans" and more focused on whatever is needed to result in a healthy baby - I'm on board!

jrouge12 · February 2020

This is a great thread!

1. I hope to go at least a week past my due date. I really want to be there for my students during some May testing and would feel so guilty not being able to support them.
2. I really want some time when I've stopped working and before delivering at home with DD and DH. In an ideal world I'd go to 41+4ish.
3. I want DD to not feel abandoned when we have to go to the hospital. She's very close with my parents and things should be easy on her especially because she'll be able to sleep in her bed.
4. I'm with @m6agua about being scared of precipitous labor. I know things can go faster being a STM and I just have a fear of not making it to the hospital in time.
5. I also had my epidural later (8pm) @catem07 and slept-ish a bit before the real part started around 5am. I wouldn't mind laboring at night again either.
6. I'm hoping that now I know what to expect I'll be able to just manage myself better those first few days.

pourmeanothermocktail · February 2020

1. Full term baby
2. Baby comes after school is done for the year.
3. I don't go through 2 weeks of start and stop labor before birth again.
4. Another planned home birth.
5. Less than 24 hours in labor.
6. Avoid bladder paralysis post birth.
7. Catch baby myself
8. Use my inhaler before pushing.
9. Have someone get me Chinese food while in labor so I can eat it post birth.

mamaqdubu · February 2020

1. I hope I can have a vaginal birth like my last 2, with similar length labors
2. I hope I don't tare, don't need stitches (much easier recovery with my 2nd then my 1st)
3. I hope I don't get pushed to the overflow wing of my hospital during recovery because it's not as comfortable and not near the nursery in case i need the nursery for any reason.
4. I hope my pelvic floor issues don't interfere too much with my immediate postpartum recovery
5. I hope I can avoid Memorial Day because I don't like being in the hospital over holidays (distracted staff during thanksgiving with my 2nd).
6. I hope for a healthy baby and a healthy mama and that my boys get to come to the hospital soon after birth if there are no complications.
7. I hope to wake-up in labor and get it over with in the daytime hrs (I labored at night the last 2 times and it caused me really really extended times to have to stay awake before I even held my little one).

queenklau · February 2020

I hope for..

1. VBAC
2. Go into labor naturally around 39-40 weeks.
3. No NICU time
4. If VBAC doesn’t work, an uneventful RCS
5. most importantly, agree with @mamaqdubu, healthy mommy and baby!

louessbee · February 2020

I'm hoping to make it to 38 weeks, and to avoid NICU time. I think my chances of a vaginal birth are slim, so I'm trying to stay positive about a C-section. That's about all I've got.

rachelg777 · February 2020

Lots of hopes here but I'm listing everything that I would love to happen in a perfect situation, obviously birth doesn't usually happen that way! I love reading everyone's!

1. I hope to go into labor naturally by 41 weeks (I mean by EDD would be great...) and avoid induction, and subsequently labor at home as long as possible. I've spoken with my doctors and I can go to 42 as long as everything looks okay but I really don't want to deal with all the "have you had the baby" questions that long.

2. Similar to @mamaqdubu I hope to either wake up in labor in the morning or go into labor in the morning. (making childcare for DS easier since we do not live near family, as well as a little more energy to start off labor).
3. I hope to have an un-medicated, vaginal birth.
3. I hope I either have no tearing, or minimal tearing. No episiotomy.
4. Along with the above, if I'm able to ease the baby out instead of blasting him then maybe I can avoid the hemorrhoid situation of last time.
5. I hope to labor in the birthing tub (if I like it).
6. I hope for no post delivery medical complications for both baby and myself and to have a great bonding/breastfeeding time.

ETA I hope baby is not posterior so I can avoid back labor!

afranzen85 · February 2020

1. Not have to be induced
2. Shorter than 72 hour stay at the hospital. All 3 others have been inductions starting on a Thursday night and not giving birth until Saturday and being released on Sunday or Monday. 😵
3. Vaginal birth
4. Minimal tearing
5. Healthy baby and mommy

mamaj1220 · February 2020

It is funny my MW and I talked about this at my last appointment, my biggest want is to just have a safe delivery. But in a perfect world:
1) Go into labor naturally this time.
2) I would like to be in the birth tub as long as possible.
3) I am not sure what I want to do for pain yet, I had an epidural last time which I liked but it also made me feel so out of it I want to try to go with different options (though MW already said I labor pretty fast so her concern is that the IV meds will wear off so we are looking at other options).
4) I hope to have him during the day just because last time I was so tired having him at 9:47 PM that I ended up needing the nurses to take him for a bit because I was falling asleep holding DS1 (DF couldn't stay because of how many babies were born that day/night).
5) I want to deliver with my OB or the OB who delivered DS1 (he is with a different practice but was so much like my OB I couldn't help but feel super comfortable with him).

tj_2 · February 2020

Love reading these. Here's my hopes:

1) an easy vaginal delivery
2) not too much pain so that maybe I can go unmedicated but when I do give in to medication, I can get by without an epidural and if I do have an epidural for there to be no complications or lengthy recovery time because of it
3) quick recovery time with no tearing etc.
4) whatever time I deliver, my husband can get me exactly what I want for my post-meal birth without asking me a single follow up question.
5) minimal family drama post-birth
6) happy healthy baby and for neither of us to experience gender disappointment

heyybritt · February 2020

I'm enjoying reading these because it's making me think of things I didn't consider before. Here's mine so far:

1) not to go into labor at work, since I'll be working until baby is here
2) that baby comes when my mom is planning her week long visit around my EDD so she can actually be here for the birth. I'm scared to do it without her.
3) for MH to be supportive if I wait longer and/or decide not to go with an epidural
4) MH's family has a history of 10lb+ babies, so I hope baby is not quite as big as my MIL keeps telling me he will be
5) vaginal birth with no tearing, no complications, and a healthy mama and baby at the end

miss_lynn9 · February 2020

I hope to:

1. Have an unmedicated vaginal birth

2. Go into labor naturally

3. Baby is in optimal position
4. Baby a good weight. I'm very small.

5. No or minimal tearing

6. Healthy mama and baby

allie456 · February 2020

I hope I can go to 38 weeks too. I am so much bigger at this point in pregnancy than I was with my singletons that I can't even imagine how I could carry them that long (how much can skin stretch, anyway? can my back even hold my uterus up after some point?) but I hope I can. I've been reading NICU stories, and my health insurance isn't the greatest. I could just imagine being stuck with a bill for tens of thousands of dollars... let alone the worry and fear associated with very sick babies. That is far and away my number one hope.

Less importantly, I hope they turn head down so I can at least try to go into labor on my own. I know healthy babies and healthy me are the main outcomes to hope for, but I feel so disappointed when I think about not being allowed to try a natural labor. And I have travel plans for a month after my due date; I've never experienced a C-section and I'm worried my incision won't have healed by that point if I deliver close to full term. Heck, the whole idea of C-section recovery scares me.

I feel like I had such a great birth experience with both my older two (fast labors but not scary fast, epidurals at 10cm for both, healthy full term babies) that a repeat of that would be great please, if I'm demanding things 😂

splashmountain · February 2020

1. I hope my rcs goes as smoothly as my emergency cs did.

2. I hope recovery goes as well too

3. Our plan for after birth, is for H to pick up DS in the afternoon around 4 or so and bring him to the hospital to meet his sister. My hope is that everyone respects our wishes and stays away and he doesn't get too overwhelmed and we have a good visit.

4. I hope mom and baby are healthy.

5. I hope we are able to breastfeed successfully this time.

catem07 · February 2020

@mamaj1220 what is your hospital’s policy on partners staying over? Do you not have a private room?

pustiulari · February 2020

1. Somehow make it to 35 weeks and baby is healthy.

Other than that, I don't really care much about anything else. It's already been so complicated and nothing (I mean nothing) went according to what I had hoped or dreamed about my first pregnancy, that I really don't want to have further expectations. I don't want to be disappointed or crushed. I just want it to be safely over.

mamaj1220 · February 2020

@catem07 they were in the process of redoing the maternity wing when I had DS1 (like seriously he was one of the last babies born on the old wing) and even then partners could stay if you were not doubled up, the night he was born there were five women waiting for a delivery room so because I was able to stand up and go pee I got moved to a double (my nurse tried to keep me in bed as long as possible to avoid this but I really had to pee haha). The second night he was able to stay. This time it is all private rooms (with birthing tubs in each room-I am really excited about this) so he can stay with us though with DS1 being home (siblings cannot stay) I am not sure what we will do.

bananapanda · February 2020

I had no real plans with DD1 I just planned to go with the flow and dr/nurse recommendations to deliver a healthy baby. That worked well, and I'm pretty much going in with the same mindset, but also after last time I have a few more ideas of what would make it "ideal".

1) Less time pushing (it was like 1.5-2 hours last time and I'm seriously out of shape so not sure I have it in me again)
2) Last time they kept threatening a c-section. If it comes to that this time for some reason I'd much rather know earlier than later. If I had to push for 2 hours and THEN get a cs I don't know if I would survive.
3) My physical recovery was fairly "easy" last time so hoping for the same this time
4) Would love if breastfeeding worked out better for us this time so I'm not forced to exclusively pump
5) Avoiding back labor this time would be cool (I think, but I've never had "regular" labor so maybe it's actually worse?)
6) BP staying under control during/after delivery unlike last time

There are a few things I'm undecided on what I would like best in a perfect world. I was induced last time which was definitely nice in the sense that I knew when to have my family there and I wasn't at work or somewhere really inconvenient when I went into labor etc. As a planner I did enjoy these aspects but also it made me so nervous knowing I had this countdown to exactly when the process would start, and I was terrified and a mess in the days/hours leading up to induction. I would like to experience going into labor naturally I think, but then there is more of the "unknown" since that's not how it went down the first time. DD also came in the middle of the night last time which was nice because we didn't have a waiting room full of visitors the second she was born but also meant I was so dead tired that I could barely enjoy her for a couple hours before I passed out.

ruby696 · February 2020

@bananapanda Back labor is horrific and definitely worse than "regular" labor. Having a c-section after two hours of pushing is a special kind of torture, so I think avoiding that scenario is a great goal to have.

drkoyya · February 2020

Great thread! First and foremost, I hope that baby and I are healthy after L&D.
1. I hope that there are no major complications
2. (selfishly) I hope baby comes a week early, so he can have his own birthday month
3. I hope baby's head is not too big like his parents
4. I hope I don't have to push for hours before the doctor decides to do a c-section
5. I hope that I get to the hospital in time for an epidural, and that it takes
6. I hope that I don't cuss out DH too much during delivery
7. I hope that I'll be able to enjoy the experience

TattoosandLace · February 2020

I love this thread! Thanks for starting it!

A. Healthy Baby; Healthy Momma

1. Not deliver in the car.

2. If I choose an epidural, that it takes.

3. Watch the delivery (via mirror)

4. My nurses don't suck.

5. Someone takes some stinking photos. This is the final baby. I need photos, dangit.

cmhme · February 2020

@heyybritt Totally understand/ my number one hope: "4) MH's family has a history of 10lb+ babies, so I hope baby is not quite as big as my MIL keeps telling me he will be." Baby was measuring only at 67 percentile at ultrasound and that was SO reassuring. Fingers crossed.

pourmeanothermocktail · February 2020

cmhme said:

@heyybritt Totally understand/ my number one hope: "4) MH's family has a history of 10lb+ babies, so I hope baby is not quite as big as my MIL keeps telling me he will be." Baby was measuring only at 67 percentile at ultrasound and that was SO reassuring. Fingers crossed.

Because bodies and biology are smart, generally mom's body and line have more control of baby size at birth-even if baby is destined to be super large shortly thereafter.

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