May 2020 Moms
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UO Thursday 2/20

Re: UO Thursday 2/20

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    @pirateduck Idk I think we should be embracing any excuse to say the word "cockapoo"  :D
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    @emlettuce totally sounds like a sex fetish.
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    LOL. My mom has a goldendoodle...
    DD #1: April 2017
    DD #2: May 2020
    Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022

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    She has a mutt, or even a poodle mix/cross  :D
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    Someone told me they had a weeniepoo. Yeah, no. Agreed, it's crossing two purebred dogs of different breeds-it's a mutt or a cross. Especially if poo or sh*t (someone else had a cock-a-sh*t [literally cocker spaniel with Shitzu]), just don't go there. 

    My UO-I don't like preschool. Having my kid have some time out of the house and with other kids is good, but, it's too much work for them, for me, everything. Ugh.
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
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    @pirateduck Okay, but when someone asks you "what kind of dog is that?" when you have a mixed breed dog, it's a hell of a lot easier to say "she's a goldendoodle" than "Well, she's a 2/3 golden retriever and 1/3 poodle" if you actually know your dog's breed mix.  I feel like if someone asks, simply responding "she's a mutt" would be kind of a rude response.  Our last dog was a shelter mutt, and they said they thought he was a lab/Aussie mix, but we weren't totally sure, but when people asked what kind of dog he was, we answered lab/Aussie mix or lab mix.  
    **TW**
    Me: 35 | H: 40
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS1: Nov 11, 2016 <3
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19
    DS2: May 10, 2020 <3


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    @mamaj1220 preach! I had to WFH yesterday since DD had a fever Tuesday night.  I expected her to just lay around watching tv being sick while I did some work.  Nope - she woke up feeling better and just drove me nuts all day.  I was almost in tears when DH got home because I couldn't accomplish ANYTHING because I couldn't get more than 30 seconds of concentration before she wanted me for something else.  I am SO GLAD to be back at the office today!
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    @bender29 on and off over the years I've toyed with working from home, but then wonder how much work I'd actually get done from home.  I saw an ad just this week for a work from home job that peaked my interest, and it was very specific about things like must have dedicated office with xyz equipment, must be free from distraction/background noise of pets and children.  Clearly there are people who are not able to separate their "home" and "work" life enough to perform well or they wouldn't have to spell it out when hiring.
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    @pirateduck for years my dad worked from home and was on conference calls all day long. They’d have to let people go who were working from home to avoid daycare costs because they were always distracted or it was super loud. He never minded when there were things that happened here and there like a sick day or a snow day, but they were required to have care for their children on the regular. It happens all the time.
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    I work at home often for 1-3 hours depending and I tend to be pretty focused and get things done. I could never do it if I was also trying to care for a child. I would accomplish nothing. 
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    When my husband works from home, I take care of kids, and keep them out of the office, so he can work! When he has to help me with some of the physical parenting stuff lately, it means his total desk time is 7a-5p just to log his 8 hours, because he doesn't count his breaks to help me as he doesn't count his parenting breaks as working.

    People have suggested that I get a work from home position to help our financial strain, but...I only get about 30 min guaranteed time without kids all day, even with one in school almost 4 hours. And I'm not trying to sell over-priced stuff to broke friends and family. So unless it's something I can do 6 hours per week that I make enough in that 6 hours to justify the extra stress, it's senseless.
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
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    @bender29 OMG so agree. I work from home full time. My daughter goes to daycare full time. It would be fair to no one--me, employer, kid--if I was trying to work and watch her at the same time. I'm in a working moms FB group and people are always looking for work from home jobs where they can have their kids at home. Uh, those don't exists (not regular full time ones, anyway).

    I do plan to be watching this baby for a few weeks while also working in August to bridge the gap between maternity leave and my mom watching her for two months before daycare (my mom goes away for the summer), but she'll be 3ish months at that point and I can always go to MILs for the day if necessary. 

    @JStill0603 Also agree. Have you set a time limit on homework? Not sure how old your DS is, but they say no more than 10 minutes per grade (and honestly I think more than 30 minutes before 5th or 6th is too much). I would tell the teachers we're going to spend x amount of time and that's it. Grades don't really matter until middle school (and even then, only if there's advanced math in 8th grade or honors in high school, or if your kid is applying to a selective school). 
    DD #1: April 2017
    DD #2: May 2020
    Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022

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    @JStill0603 DS1 started first grade this year and it literally blows my mind that we spend an hour on homework EVERY NIGHT. He’s 7. It’s ridiculous,
    stressful and makes me want to pull him out. 

    @ca@catem07 I’d like to agree with you, but I can’t. DS1 missed most of kinder thanks to his diagnosis. This year he’s severely behind and got mostly D/Fs on his first two report cards. He’s likely going to be held back. He’s barely even started his school experience and we’re already struggling. Grades do matter, even for a 7 year old. 
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    @rox7777 I'm wondering if times have changed or if it just varies school to school or state to state, but we certainly didn't get graded A-F at that age!
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    @pirateduck I think times have just changed. We live in the south and the school ratings aren’t even that impressive here. He gets a report card four times a year just like we did at the older ages with a numerical grade that translates to a letter grade. Those grades have to be at a passing average by the end of the year or he can be held back. He’s 7 and in the first grade, so you can imagine that school is already stressing me out.

    As for homework he has a weekly graded spelling test with 10 words, a math test and a book that he gets on Monday and has to be able to read alone by Friday. The spelling homework is a different activity every night with the words for the week, a math worksheet to practice for the test and the book with questions to answer each night.
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    @chewie5990 the suicide rate here is terrible.  I feel like everyone I know has been personally touched by this in some way.  :(
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    That is one thing I love about our district, the policy is no homework until middle school because studies show it doesn't help enough to justify. The "Homework" they ask for is to read with them at night and to sit and eat dinner as a family, that's it. Oh and to make sure they get time outside in the nicer weather. Also our district has an emphasis on the younger kids getting movement breaks and movement built into the lessons so they are not sitting most of the day. 

    @rox777 we have never done letter grades in this area at this age, they start in middle school. Right now it is numbers that are telling you if they are below, at or above where they expect for this grade and age. 
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    JStill0603JStill0603 member
    edited February 2020
    @catem07 DS has ADHD and it’s really affecting his homework. He should have about 20-30 minutes plus reading (he enjoys the reading part so that’s no problem) each night but the 20-30 minutes takes him sometimes 2 hours because he’s screwing around and asking questions and talking and trying to get us to do it for him. A huge ADHD symptom for him is that he can’t focus on a task that appears to be difficult. Therefore he doesn’t have the mental stamina to get through homework that “looks hard.” Setting a time or putting a time limit on something generally is very upsetting to him. And he already thinks school is a waste so stopping after 30 minutes would mean he would have zero homework done every night because he would literally sit there and stare at one problem for 30 minutes. But his homework is taking such a toll on our whole family lately that it makes me wonder if it’s worth it, even though I know I am the one who has taught him A LOT of math concepts this year since he does much better with one on one instruction on “hard” subjects. 
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    @pirateduck it's awful. Almost all - if not all - my students have had a friend/sibling/cousin commit suicide or attempt suicide or struggle with suicidal thoughts themselves. last year my school started working with a mental health hospital to help train/support teachers in this area and it's been so helpful - easily the best professional development I've ever had as a teacher. 
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    @jhysmath Wow, that's super cool, what a fun idea. 

    @chewie5990 I'm sorry to hear, that's really difficult. I love your approach to homework though.

    We're not to even kindergarten yet, but I'm hoping for more progressive teachers and methods at our schools. I don't mind having some math practice at home, a bit of reading, and when older, working on major projects and papers at home, but constant busy work and having homework just to have it in every class all the time made doing sports or having family time feel impossible as a kid/teen.
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
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