Product Spotlight: Intangibles

m6agua · February 2020

Each week we'll spotlight a new category of product. Feel free to comment on threads like these throughout your time at the board, not just when they're in their week in the spotlight, if you discover something new OR are new to the board. This week it's.... Intangibles!

Some products can't be bought--and some experiences sh/could be that would be greatly helpful to a PG person/new mom. Here are some helpful prompts to get us started!

ALL

Products aren't everything! What sort of services or help or non-buyable actions are on your wishlist for this pregnancy/post-partum time?
Are there any intangible things that people have offered you thus far or what you have indulged in/purchased already that you'd recommend?

STM/+s

What sort of services or help or non-buyable actions were most helpful to you for previous pregnancies/PP?
Were there any that you wished you had been able to receive but didn't?

FTMs

What sort of services or help or non-buyable actions have been offered or purchased for you for your pregnancy/PP, if any?
What are any that you are thinking of indulging in or registering for or purchasing?

To view the upcoming PSS schedule, see here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XX4aUSPsDbdyEEK5HIzMzwH2ztOVOnNCehSgMAc5w6U/edit?usp=sharing
Next up: Baby Containers

thepretzelchick · February 2020

A service I've provided to friends in the past and the one that was most useful to me at the end of pregnancy and especially PP was grocery shopping. Grocery delivery wasn't really a thing back then, so it's something you could have done for you now, but having people who knew me and my family, who knew what we ate, what brands we like, what items I was forgetting in my brain fog, etc. was so immensely helpful. I mean, you can stock freezer meals til the cows come home, but someone to make sure you're not out of milk and bread? Priceless. And I think because my main two love languages are gifts and acts of service, it just made feel so much calmer when I was too far gone to drive or couldn't drive post-c/s, and it was one less thing for DH to worry about.

pirateduck · February 2020

@thepretzelchick we don't have grocery delivery or pickup yet in my area, they have said "coming soon" for like a year now. Grocery shopping causes me stress and anxiety at the best of times and I would love to have someone dependable do this for me, or at least pick me up at my house and drive me there and help me out with loading/unloading etc.

I also want freezer meals. A coworker, shortly after finding out I was pregnant, asked me what my cravings were and made me a casserole and dessert. She didn't know it, but it got delivered to me on a particularly difficult day when I spent 5 hours in the car to go to the city for an amnio and didn't have the will or the strength to do anything and it meant the world to me. I want more of that.

Also I want people to call and check on me. I don't care if they have to make a schedule and do it. I don't want to get sucked into a hole of depression or actually need help with something and have no one know about it or no one care about it. Please people, make sure I am ok. I'm kinda isolated where I live and I might need help.

I also want help outside the house with things like snow removal and special projects. Last year when we had spring meltdown things were a mess and the yard and the chicken coop flooded and I was out there trying to dig trenches in the frozen ground so water could drain away. This is the time of year baby is due.

And yes, my husband can help with many of these things, but he will also be working and helping with cooking and cleaning and baby care and caring for me, and I know that's going to be a lot.

ruby696 · February 2020

I recommend having lots of movies/shows ready to go for all the time you'll be parked on the couch BFing or napping with baby. I think one of the reasons we love the Harry Potter movies so much is because we watched them like 387 times while we were home with newborn DS. It was Jurassic Park with DD. Both are now near and dear to my heart.

Have your spouse/partner take as much time off as they can. It's such a special time and if you can swing it, do it.

Make yourself be as active as possible. You will heal faster if you move. Plus, stroller walks are so nice if you can do them with YH.

Take lots of pictures. And make sure you're in a fair amount of them! It's amazing how often mom is not in photos because we're always taking the pictures.

Let YH help with the baby. Encourage him. Make him. Whatever it takes so at some point before your kid is 5, you can 100% trust YH to properly care for your child without supervision.

Accept help from family/friends. Help does not mean someone cuddles with your baby while you clean your house and play hostess. Help is when someone cleans your kitchen while you and baby take a nap.

catem07 · February 2020

What @ruby696 said.

rox7777 · February 2020

Amazon prime for the things you forgot to buy or run out of. Subscribe and save for household goods (toilet paper, laundry soap, etc) and baby products you’ll run through frequently like diapers and wipes. Plus you get prime video for when you’re stuck on the couch for days on end.

We mostly do grocery pick up as it is. I can order in the mornings and have MH pick it up before he leaves for work.

Car pull if you have kids in school and your SO works odd hours. For the first week or two MIL will be picking DS1 up from school and MH will be dropping off in the morning.

We’ll likely be splurging on hello fresh or another meal service for a few weeks. MH can throw together things if he has explicit directions, but he’s not a creative person on his own. He also hates frozen food and leftovers so a meal service will keep us from eating out for 2+ weeks.

catem07 · February 2020

@rox7777 but if you're not trying to go broke, stay off amazon during MOTN wake-ups because uhh you can convince yourself you need a lot of shit at 2am. Not that I know from experience or anything...

pourmeanothermocktail · February 2020

My mom will be staying with us for several weeks from week 37 on (I have earlier babies). We'll do grocery pick up, but my kids will not eat multi-ingredient or mixed ingredient meals, so freezer meals are out, and we're too broke to hire help, have husband time off, or do meal delivery. It's hard. Lots of TV time in first two months, hoping for more just sitting outside in play land of a yard this time. Crossing fingers at least.

pourmeanothermocktail · February 2020

Also, yes, get active, but not too much too fast. My friend had a dangerous bleed at 9 days postpartum because she took three kids to a park a mile away in a double stroller...

So like, be smart. Placenta leaves an 8-12" wound on your inside no matter how you deliver. Your flow will hopefully be mostly brown/pink/yellowish by 2-3 weeks out, but any bright red gushing, or renewed red after several days of brown/pink, are signals that your body needs more rest.

Once the postpartum bleeding is gone, then by all means get up and do what feels right, just listen to your body!

ruby696 · February 2020

Agree @pourmeanothermocktail. Start with getting out of bed/off the couch as often as you can. Get your own snacks/drinks (unless you're feeding baby or otherwise busy with something else). I went on a long walk around the neighborhood (30 min?) at 5 days PP and pulled a stitch. Don't do that. 😬

rox7777 · February 2020

@catem07 I told MH last time that I’m not responsible for what I order when I’m sleep deprived. He gets to sleep, I get to shop. If he wants to save money, he can stay up. 😂

queenklau · February 2020

Agree with grocery services and TV! I never thought about shopping online while up in the middle of the night-Dangerous!

Another thing I enjoyed during maternity leave was mommy and me yoga (or any in person mommy group). You can start at 6-8 weeks pp and bring the baby with you. Baby can lay there, or you can incorporate them into the work-out or you can feed/change them as needed during the class. It was laid back, relaxing and a way to get out of the house. Also, it build a sense of community, I meet a few mommy friends and our kids are still friends!

catem07 · February 2020

Oh @queenklau reminded me, breastfeeding groups! Many hospitals have them on a weekly or biweekly basis and you don't have to have delivered there to go. Great place to get some community and hang out with other moms.

rachelg777 · February 2020

I would love housekeeping services but MH is against having "strangers" in the house like that, he's super private in that sense. Sigh.

We will do Hello Fresh. I'll probably try some version of mommy & me yoga and maybe a BF group. I also have a doula this pregnancy/delivery and I'm really excited about that. She does a couple PP visits as well.

mamaj1220 · February 2020

All the TV shows you love on DVD or Netflix because you will be bored late at night feeding.
If your family wants to help, let them, no it may not be how you want everything but truly you will appreciate that someone else took out the diaper garbage or did the dishes while you showered. My mom is like ten minutes away now so that works well for me and today her and my dad asked if over the summer DS1 could go with my dad one day a week (he has had a couple strokes and it is really good for him to be around DS1 because it makes him do things besides TV).
All the pictures, I love Timehop for this reason.

splashmountain · February 2020

I would love if someone brought us a meal. When my sister came home from delivering her 4th, I brought them enchiladas and salad and a loaf of banana bread. I had already had DS by then and knew a meal would be amazing so she and her H didn't have to figure out what to do for dinner.

I agree with pp, have H stay home as long as possible, if you don't have family and friends to help out, you'll need your H there.

Walk. Walk. Walk! It is seriously the best for recovery, especially c-section mamas. Obviously listen to your body and rest when needed, but resting too much isn't good for you. We went to a b-day party 5 days pp and the next day was MH's first father's day and we went fishing (I didn't fish, just walked around, but I felt better when I was moving).

afranzen85 · February 2020

After my first, my mom came every day for a week and did laundry, cleaned, cooked and watched baby while my husband and I napped. It was amazing to have that the first time around.

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