Since we've started talking about L&D, thought it would be a good time to start the discussion around birth hopes (or plans, but I like hopes better because you know what they say about the best laid plans). When I was a FTM I had no idea about the different things that might happen or the choices I might be presented with. I actually found the book Birth Plans for Dummies (yep, that exists) really helpful in laying out different things (though I think it might be a little outdated, at least if you're in an area where medicine is practiced more at the cutting edge. For example, the book suggested episiotomies were commonplace and that's not true in Boston.)
What do you hope for in your L&D experience? What questions do you have?
DD #1: April 2017
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
Re: Birth Hopes
2. I hope my spinal takes effect quicker. It took awhile last time and I felt myself getting cut open, sans pain. It was trippy and I'd rather not repeat it.
3. I hope to not have bronchitis again and panic when I try to cough but can't feel my chest and have to ask the anesthesiologist if I'm actually breathing.
4. I plan not to chug Sprite in recovery and I hope I don't puke all over myself again.
5. I plan to take stool softeners and hope I don't have poop trouble. I still have horror flashbacks to after DS.
2. I hope that I can finally make a decision on the c-section v 2nd VBAC issue (still don't know what I want to do).
3. If I do have another c-section, I hope they can untie me and take all the hot towels away from my neck so I don't have a panic attack (or near panic attack). Damn claustrophobia.
4. If I do have a VBAC, I hope my hemorrhoids don't explode (can they do that?).
5. Also hope that if I go the VBAC route, it will be better than last time. I mean, last time was fine, but I kept wondering to myself why anyone would want to do that voluntarily? And who knew having a baby felt like pushing a football out of your butt? Clearly my expectations were too high last time. 😆
6. Biggest hope is that we don't need NICU time and babies get to come home with me when I'm discharged.
I hope my water breaks in the hospital again and not at home because that was the point at which things escalated quickly last time (as I know it is for most people).
I hope I don’t go into labor/need to go to the hospital in the middle of the day when I’m already on maternity leave and H is 45 minutes away at work.
2. She stays in until 37 weeks. DS2 was born at 36 weeks and even though he was perfectly healthy he still had to spend an hour in the NICU and pass the car seat test (took 3 tries and added an extra day to our stay).
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019This is totally small and not important, but DD was born at 5am and I really liked laboring at night. I got an epidural around 10pm, went to sleep for a few hours, and woke up in transition.
I'm considered turning down the erythromycin (if I'm GBS negative). DD1 had a really bad blocked duct and I can't help but think erythromycin contributed to it. She didn't even really open her eyes for her first day alive and then a week later she had tons of gunk in her eye. I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea. I know it also protects against e coli, so there's where I'm not sure.
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
I'm hoping to avoid being GBS+ this time. If I do test positive at 36 weeks I think I will ask to get the test again closer to my due date in hopes that it changes.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019I hope labor is long enough that I feel like I can get to the hospital in time without delivering on the side of the road, but not so long that it destroys me.
I keep forgetting to ask my OB, but I know my hospital of choice has a cutoff in terms of how many weeks you have to make it to be allowed to deliver there because they don't have a NICU to deal with super early babies. I hope that I make this cutoff and can deliver at my hospital of choice and do not have to go to the city.
I hope there's not a snow storm and I hope I don't need an ambulance ride.
I hope baby is big enough that she won't need special care and small enough to avoid major delivery complications.
I hope my favorite OB is on call.
I hope we bring enough food and snacks and I feel well enough to eat.
I hope my hubby is there the whole time.
I hope I can count on my petsitter, but also that they will not be around when I arrive home from the hospital.
2. I hope to go unmedicated again—not that I did by choice the first time, but I liked the recovery and I’m prone to serious migraines.
4. I hope pooping is easier after this birth!
2. I hope if I do go into labor naturally that I'm able to get my VBAC and that everything just goes okay
3. If I do have to go through a c-section, I hope it goes as smoothly as my first c-section and the recovery process isn't too bad.
My mindset is that birth is a means to an end - the baby is what's important, so I try to not be too focused on "birth plans" and more focused on whatever is needed to result in a healthy baby - I'm on board!
1. I hope to go at least a week past my due date. I really want to be there for my students during some May testing and would feel so guilty not being able to support them.
2. I really want some time when I've stopped working and before delivering at home with DD and DH. In an ideal world I'd go to 41+4ish.
3. I want DD to not feel abandoned when we have to go to the hospital. She's very close with my parents and things should be easy on her especially because she'll be able to sleep in her bed.
4. I'm with @m6agua about being scared of precipitous labor. I know things can go faster being a STM and I just have a fear of not making it to the hospital in time.
5. I also had my epidural later (8pm) @catem07 and slept-ish a bit before the real part started around 5am. I wouldn't mind laboring at night again either.
6. I'm hoping that now I know what to expect I'll be able to just manage myself better those first few days.
2. Baby comes after school is done for the year.
3. I don't go through 2 weeks of start and stop labor before birth again.
4. Another planned home birth.
5. Less than 24 hours in labor.
6. Avoid bladder paralysis post birth.
7. Catch baby myself
8. Use my inhaler before pushing.
9. Have someone get me Chinese food while in labor so I can eat it post birth.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
2. I hope I don't tare, don't need stitches (much easier recovery with my 2nd then my 1st)
3. I hope I don't get pushed to the overflow wing of my hospital during recovery because it's not as comfortable and not near the nursery in case i need the nursery for any reason.
4. I hope my pelvic floor issues don't interfere too much with my immediate postpartum recovery
5. I hope I can avoid Memorial Day because I don't like being in the hospital over holidays (distracted staff during thanksgiving with my 2nd).
6. I hope for a healthy baby and a healthy mama and that my boys get to come to the hospital soon after birth if there are no complications.
7. I hope to wake-up in labor and get it over with in the daytime hrs (I labored at night the last 2 times and it caused me really really extended times to have to stay awake before I even held my little one).
1. VBAC
2. Go into labor naturally around 39-40 weeks.
3. No NICU time
4. If VBAC doesn’t work, an uneventful RCS
5. most importantly, agree with @mamaqdubu, healthy mommy and baby!
BFP1 04/24/2015 EDD Dec 2015 MMC 10W5d;
BFP 2 09/25/2015 EDD June 2016 MMC 9wks;
BFP 3 03/22/2016 EDD Dec 6th 2016
1. I hope to go into labor naturally by 41 weeks (I mean by EDD would be great...) and avoid induction, and subsequently labor at home as long as possible. I've spoken with my doctors and I can go to 42 as long as everything looks okay but I really don't want to deal with all the "have you had the baby" questions that long.
2. Similar to @mamaqdubu I hope to either wake up in labor in the morning or go into labor in the morning. (making childcare for DS easier since we do not live near family, as well as a little more energy to start off labor).
3. I hope to have an un-medicated, vaginal birth.
3. I hope I either have no tearing, or minimal tearing. No episiotomy.
4. Along with the above, if I'm able to ease the baby out instead of blasting him then maybe I can avoid the hemorrhoid situation of last time.
5. I hope to labor in the birthing tub (if I like it).
6. I hope for no post delivery medical complications for both baby and myself and to have a great bonding/breastfeeding time.
ETA I hope baby is not posterior so I can avoid back labor!
2. Shorter than 72 hour stay at the hospital. All 3 others have been inductions starting on a Thursday night and not giving birth until Saturday and being released on Sunday or Monday. 😵
3. Vaginal birth
4. Minimal tearing
5. Healthy baby and mommy
1) Go into labor naturally this time.
2) I would like to be in the birth tub as long as possible.
3) I am not sure what I want to do for pain yet, I had an epidural last time which I liked but it also made me feel so out of it I want to try to go with different options (though MW already said I labor pretty fast so her concern is that the IV meds will wear off so we are looking at other options).
4) I hope to have him during the day just because last time I was so tired having him at 9:47 PM that I ended up needing the nurses to take him for a bit because I was falling asleep holding DS1 (DF couldn't stay because of how many babies were born that day/night).
5) I want to deliver with my OB or the OB who delivered DS1 (he is with a different practice but was so much like my OB I couldn't help but feel super comfortable with him).
1) an easy vaginal delivery
2) not too much pain so that maybe I can go unmedicated but when I do give in to medication, I can get by without an epidural and if I do have an epidural for there to be no complications or lengthy recovery time because of it
3) quick recovery time with no tearing etc.
4) whatever time I deliver, my husband can get me exactly what I want for my post-meal birth without asking me a single follow up question.
5) minimal family drama post-birth
6) happy healthy baby and for neither of us to experience gender disappointment
Married July 2018
First-Time Mom
EDD: 5/1/20 *please stick, baby*
1) not to go into labor at work, since I'll be working until baby is here
2) that baby comes when my mom is planning her week long visit around my EDD so she can actually be here for the birth. I'm scared to do it without her.
3) for MH to be supportive if I wait longer and/or decide not to go with an epidural
4) MH's family has a history of 10lb+ babies, so I hope baby is not quite as big as my MIL keeps telling me he will be
5) vaginal birth with no tearing, no complications, and a healthy mama and baby at the end
FTM
BFP: 9/5/19 ~ EDD 5/15/20
4. Baby a good weight. I'm very small.
Less importantly, I hope they turn head down so I can at least try to go into labor on my own. I know healthy babies and healthy me are the main outcomes to hope for, but I feel so disappointed when I think about not being allowed to try a natural labor. And I have travel plans for a month after my due date; I've never experienced a C-section and I'm worried my incision won't have healed by that point if I deliver close to full term. Heck, the whole idea of C-section recovery scares me.
I feel like I had such a great birth experience with both my older two (fast labors but not scary fast, epidurals at 10cm for both, healthy full term babies) that a repeat of that would be great please, if I'm demanding things 😂
2. I hope recovery goes as well too
3. Our plan for after birth, is for H to pick up DS in the afternoon around 4 or so and bring him to the hospital to meet his sister. My hope is that everyone respects our wishes and stays away and he doesn't get too overwhelmed and we have a good visit.
4. I hope mom and baby are healthy.
5. I hope we are able to breastfeed successfully this time.
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
Other than that, I don't really care much about anything else. It's already been so complicated and nothing (I mean nothing) went according to what I had hoped or dreamed about my first pregnancy, that I really don't want to have further expectations. I don't want to be disappointed or crushed. I just want it to be safely over.
1) Less time pushing (it was like 1.5-2 hours last time and I'm seriously out of shape so not sure I have it in me again)
2) Last time they kept threatening a c-section. If it comes to that this time for some reason I'd much rather know earlier than later. If I had to push for 2 hours and THEN get a cs I don't know if I would survive.
3) My physical recovery was fairly "easy" last time so hoping for the same this time
4) Would love if breastfeeding worked out better for us this time so I'm not forced to exclusively pump
5) Avoiding back labor this time would be cool (I think, but I've never had "regular" labor so maybe it's actually worse?)
6) BP staying under control during/after delivery unlike last time
There are a few things I'm undecided on what I would like best in a perfect world. I was induced last time which was definitely nice in the sense that I knew when to have my family there and I wasn't at work or somewhere really inconvenient when I went into labor etc. As a planner I did enjoy these aspects but also it made me so nervous knowing I had this countdown to exactly when the process would start, and I was terrified and a mess in the days/hours leading up to induction. I would like to experience going into labor naturally I think, but then there is more of the "unknown" since that's not how it went down the first time. DD also came in the middle of the night last time which was nice because we didn't have a waiting room full of visitors the second she was born but also meant I was so dead tired that I could barely enjoy her for a couple hours before I passed out.
1. I hope that there are no major complications
2. (selfishly) I hope baby comes a week early, so he can have his own birthday month
3. I hope baby's head is not too big like his parents
4. I hope I don't have to push for hours before the doctor decides to do a c-section
5. I hope that I get to the hospital in time for an epidural, and that it takes
6. I hope that I don't cuss out DH too much during delivery
7. I hope that I'll be able to enjoy the experience
FTM
BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
TTC since 2017
3/18-9/18- IUI's
11/18- IVF #1
1/19- IVF #2
8/19- DE Cycle #1- 5 PGS tested normal
9/19- FET #1- SUCCESS! May 2020
10/21- FET #2- SUCCESS! July 2022
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green