First Time Mom (FTM) Check-In — The Bump
October 2020 Moms

First Time Mom (FTM) Check-In

Who is doing this for the first time?! You’ve gotta have some questions and a place to vent. Do it here! 

How far along are you? 

Any thoughts you want to share? Worries? 
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Re: First Time Mom (FTM) Check-In

  • First time mama, first time pregnant!

    5 weeks 1 day along. 

    Pretty much everything worries me at this point...I have no idea what to expect and feel like it's too early to talk to my family and friends who have been through this! 

    I saw on another thread someone posted about having "lightning crotch"....would love if someone could explain that one to me lol
    smg2302babyodo
  • @futuremamadvm I'm in the same boat as you! 5 weeks today. I have been so anxious for my first appointment which is scheduled for Feb 26th, I just don't think it will feel really real until then. I keep wanting to tell coworkers and family/friends because I know they'll notice something is up soon enough, but then I chicken out. I am sooo bad at keeping a secret, but I kind of want to wait until my appointment at the OB to tell anyone. I've been such a bundle of nerves hopeing everything is alright. 

    I do have a plan for my mom and sister whose birthday's are march 11th and 12th. We are having a dinner and I'm going to bring a cake that says happy birthday grandma and auntie! My sister has a LO already, but this will be her first niece/nephew. I'll see how long it takes them to notice!
    Smelh324
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  • I’m 5 weeks and 5 days. I tend toward anxiety anyway and I’ve been really anxious about having a miscarriage. I have no reason to be worried other than that they just happen... I’m particularly anxious about having a missed miscarriage and not knowing it. 
    I’m struggling with all the acronyms on here!
    I have told my close family and best friend. Basically anyone whose support I would need if I did have a miscarriage or anything. But I still feel isolated and like I want to talk about it all the time with more people. So this board is helpful for that :)
    I don’t get to see my doctor until I’m 10 weeks which I think is complete and total crap. So I have a month more to wait. 
    Smelh324
  • @psmk521 welcome! The acronyms can really be hard to catch onto — I know there’s a list somewhere of the acronyms and their definitions, I’ll try to find it and link to it here! 

    Also it does completely suck waiting out that first appointment, it’s torture not knowing what’s going on in there. On the flip side, going in at 5 or 6 weeks for an ultrasound can be scary — a lot of times it’s too early to see anything so there’s not much to do but wait a few weeks for another ultrasound anyway. Then you’re left with questioning whether not seeing anything meant the worst — even though it can be totally normal. So ugh, double edge sword. Hang in there! 

    @futuremamadvm - lightning crotch is exactly what it sounds like: a bolt of pain directly through the vajay. It’s lovely. 


    Smelh324tdevlindrye
  • @kmalls I just read the acronym list :) thank you!
  • hg916hg916 member
    First pregnancy, 5w2d, kind of hate this stage because I feel like I have no clue what's going on in there and just want to know that all is going well. It all makes me anxious.  First appt is the 24th, so a little over 2 weeks left, still seems like forever even though it's clearly not...
    Smelh324kmalls
  • Hi everyone! I am super excited to be pregnant with our first little babe. We are thinking we are due on October 1st! Today we are 6 weeks and 4 days! Our first appt is not until March 4th, it seems like its taking FOREVER to get here. I just want to make sure our baby is growing right! We haven't told anyone we are pregnant yet, but its SO hard to keep it in! We are just so excited!

    kmalls
  • @alil1212 I feel the same way! My appt isn’t until March 9, and all I want to do is tell people and talk about it. 
  • @futuremamadvm that was me!  It usually happens later in pregnancy, especially when baby's legs get long and can kick down there. It feels like when you twist funny and get a pain somewhere else, except nothing triggers it and it's in your hoohah.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • First timer here!! I'm 4+1 today and found out at 3+2. The positive was so quick. Got blood work done earlier in the week and hoping they call before the long weekend. First doctor visit week 6. The past week has been the longest week of my life and I just know my weekends will be filled with research galore. 
  • @kfeam the waiting game is so hard! I never even considered how anxious I would be waiting for the first appointment. Mine is in another week and a half (week 7) and I'm losing my mind over here! I just can't wait to feel like everything is fine and on-track. 
  • JLaVO888JLaVO888 member
    edited February 15
    Choosing when you tell others is completely a personal choice. I did find it helpful to tell a few close friends or relatives right away just so I had an outlet to share my excitement with. I knew if I did have a loss I’d want those people there to support me anyways. 

    As for being anxious and worried about a loss...it’s really hard not to think about. If you haven’t already, check out the post “odds of Not having a miscarriage.” Looking at the numbers really does help calm the nerves. Another something someone once mentioned is every day just try to focus on “Today I am pregnant” and soak that all up. 

    Lightning crotch- I’ve felt two different kinds. One seemed to be more of a nerve shock type feeling in the skin. Not as painful but still unpleasant. The other would happen later in pregnancy when my children would head butt the hell out of my crotch and almost bring me to my knees. 

    Edit: fix my words 
    whitneyss15
  • Hi ladies! Technically FTM here, though this is my 2nd pregnancy (my first was in 2017 and ended in a loss). My gut says this time will be different so I'm trusting my instincts and staying positive! Due to my loss history, I've already had 3 blood labs done and my HCG is rising nicely, right within the normal range, which helps my anxiety a bit. We have our first scan next week on 2/20 at 6w4d, and it is also my husband's birthday, so we are hoping for the best news! Well, for me, the best news is just a normal pregnancy....he would love that too, but the BEST news in his world would be twins! He doesn't have to do sh*t for the next 8 months except hang out, so of course he wants twins....he won't be growing or birthing them!
    JLaVO888morethanamamamdfarmchick
  • Hello! FTM, though this is my second pregnancy (see ticker). PGAL brain sucks, and I hate that I have to wait until 10 weeks for my first appointment. Especially since I'm AMA with one previous 1st trimester loss within the last six months. I really have to distract myself to keep from dwelling on every little thing.

    I know it's early to be asking about this, and maybe I should put this in the Great Questions thread (lol), but it's about bedside bassinets. I don't plan on co-sleeping, and have checked out the bedside bassinets like the Halo bassinet, and it seems pretty ingenious, but I can't justify spending that kind of money on something that the baby will only use for 4-6 months tops. Has anyone used one of these before and can shed some light on whether or not they're worth the expense?

    Note - This may be better suited for an UO/FFFC, but here we go: my reason for not co-sleeping is 1) when I was a kid, a close family friend had rolled over onto her baby in her sleep which led to infant loss, and I am super paranoid that either MH (he's more likely to do this as he's done it to me many times) or I will roll over onto the baby, and 2) I don't want to make the transition to crib-sleeping anymore difficult than it already will be, so I want to get LO used to sleeping on their own as soon as possible. 
    Me: 35 / DH: 39
    TTC #1 since May 2019
    BFP#1: Aug. 2019
    MMC - Oct. 2019 (10 weeks); D&C Dec. 2019
    BFP #2: Feb. 2020


    morethanamamahml9000
  • morethanamamamorethanamama member
    edited February 15
    @babyodo I am with you on the cosleeping, it was never my thing. I didn't have a Halo bassinet but I can give you my two cents
    -Unfortunately, most baby items have a short lifespan, 4-6 months is actually quite a bit for gear.
    -CONSIGNMENT SALES!! They are the best. Find some in your area, most have priority access for new moms. Lots of bassinets there.
    -REGISTRY DISCOUNTS! Yay! You get a discount at the end to complete your registry, so it's usually good to use that towards something expensive that you didn't receive at your shower
    -We will most likely do a product spotlight on sleeping surfaces, but there's other options other than the Halo that cost less. Arm's reach I think is one of them. Personally I think the bassinet is important and gets used a lot (ideally for naps too, and most newborns sleep a lot in the beginning) so it's a good investment. 

    MH and I were very strict with sleeping habits because we both work full time to we sleep trained early and were all about schedules. We were also blessed with a great sleeper, so who knows what #2 will do to us 😂

    Hope this helps:)

    ETA to say that some babies hate bassinets. So it might be trial and error. If you have any friends with young babies and can borrow items, that's ideal! For example, I wanted the mamaroo (a swing type thing) for my first but didn't get it. My friend has it so I plan on borrowing it to see if this baby will like it. Some babies hate it so it's a waste of $200!
    babyodohml9000
  • JLaVO888JLaVO888 member
    edited February 15
    @babyodo we have an in arms reach “cosleeper”. It is like a small crib that can break down and be taken anywhere. I actually lucked out and bought it second hand and I’ve used it a ton. I love the size and I love that it can be taken when traveling and is smaller than a pack and play. One side pops down so you can set it up against your bed which is where the term “cosleeper comes in. I actually always ended up leaving the side up though. I would recommend it for sure.  
    babyodo
  • seriously though, what do I do with myself while I wait? I hope after the appointments we can both calm down haha
    morethanamamasmg2302
  • @babyodo I bought the Halo bassinet for DS.  I thought that it was great to have, but I wish that I would have bought a more basic model.  I bought one of the models with all of the extra little features (i.e. vibration, nightlight, soothing sounds, lullabies). DS got really upset with the vibrations, and he didn't like the soothing sounds or lullabies.  I did like the nightlight, but I could have just as easily used the light from my cell phone which was on the nightstand. He outgrew it by the time he was 4 months old, so I got less use out of it than I expected, but I did find it useful during that time period.  The Halo bassinet was great, but anything similar would probably work well too.  Having a bedside bassinet did make life a little easier in those early months.  I would also look for sales or use a registry discount.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    babyodo
  • Also to add, my baby was always tiny, he was 6.5 lbs at birth and grew just fine, but not all at once, always very gradually. So he was in the bassinet until 5.5 months :)
  • First time mom! EDD 10/11/2020. the hardest part is not worrying about every little ache and discomfort. That and being so early on and wanting to talk to people about it! First ultra sound is in 3 weeks and I can’t wait! I’m also struggling with my mom not being excited for me. My mother in law has been really helpful and comforting but my mom has been keeping her distance. 
    hml9000
  • @moniqueheaston Sorry to hear your mom isn’t being supportive. I’m sure that’s hard. Hopefully she will come around. I was so nervous to tell my parents with my first even though I was already 25 and knee deep into my career and marriage. 
  • @moniqueheaston sorry to hear, that's hard. I hope once the pregnancy progresses she comes around. It's such an exciting time, I hope you get the support you deserve!
  • @babyodo If you are considering a more versatile piece as compared to a bassinet, most pack & plays have a bassinet height feature.  We used that both times and were very happy with it.  Some also have a changing station to, so it was nice to have options in the bedroom, especially for MOTN.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Pregnancy Ticker
    babyodoNME44
  • I agree with @smg2302 I just used a pnp in my room right next to my bed. It had a newborn sleeper and a changing table all right there. Pretty sure DD slept in our room the first 5 months. We still have it and plan to use it for this baby 
    Me: 32 | H: 33
    Married March 7, 2015
    BFP#1: Nov 2015 | DD: July 2016
    BFP#2: Jan 2019 | Ectopic, Loss of Tube
    BFP#3: Jan 2020 | EDD: 10/5


  • @smg2302 and @dolewhipper DUH. I already spaced on the pnp bassinet. We only used it at the IL's house but it was great!
  • @babyodo, also keep in mind that if you plan to have more kids, it’s not a 4 - 6 month use. We’ve bought one pack n play that we’ve used countless times over the past 6 years, 2 full size cribs - one is still in use by my second daughter and the other one is a double bed in the guest room (convertible crib), one stroller that has been put through the wringer and is still going strong, and so on and so forth (including pajamas and Halloween outfits that have been used on 3 different kids.) Just something to think about. 
    babyodomorethanamama
  • ammj02ammj02 member
    edited February 18
    I'm 17 an pregnant Jesus. This is my first time and everything scares me right now. Am I supposed to have a yeast infection will my baby be hurt by it.,I live in such a small town theyre taking so long on my obgyn referral. Its hard for me to rememver to eat im 110 lbs I'm TERRIFIED plus im extremely stressed out as the father isnt worth anything he got me pregnant on purpose and called ne a liar he was very abusive I'm depressed as he'll idk what to do
    rescuepups
  • @babyodo I’m glad I’m not the only one who is about a minute and a half pregnant and already working on the registry list :) Glad to know I’m not fully crazy! 
  • Thank you i noticed im getting a cough now too. And i live in such a small town they donr do anything pregnancy wise here but test you for it so I'm still waiting on a referral to an obgyn 
    rescuepups
  • @knottiee6a7c etc (Please change this if you would like to stick around, as it is really hard to tag) Even without a referral to OB/Gyn, any family doctor, PA, or NP that you are seeing would easily be able to see you for a cough and yeast infection and treat you appropriately. This is not something you would need to see a gynecologist for FYI. 
    smg2302rescuepups
  • I’m Jasmyn. I’m 5 weeks 4 days. Currently not with the father and I’m extremely nervous about being pregnant and alone and being a single mommy 
    rescuepupsdolewhipperhml9000
  • First time momma here! Checking in! I put most of it in the introduction chat. 6 weeks and 6 days today. 
  • FTM, 5 weeks tomorrow. I'm very nervous about miscarriage. My family members have had so many of them it feels like it will be inevitable. However I'm incredibly excited as well. My family knows but I'm struggling to keep it secret from everyone else. Seems surreal that I'm growing a tiny human! 
  • @dogmom2realmom look for the “odds of NOT having a miscarriage” thread. It really helps to looks at. I’ll bump it to the top for you. 

    TW 
    My mom (and her mom) struggled with multiple losses early and late and I look like her younger identical twin so it was always a huge worry of mine. Thankfully I have never had to experience one. She also had very traumatic deliveries and I also did not inherit that from her either. So you really never know what your body is going to do. 
    dogmom2realmom
  • 5w1d.  Having trouble being too excited, because I've had two losses in the first trimester and have never had a live birth.  Most of my brain is assuming this one will end in a loss, too.  Just once I'd like to hear a heartbeat, you know?
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 2/14/20.  Due date 10/22/20.

    Previous losses - 
    Ultrasound at 10w on 1/8/14 showed no heartbeat and stopped growth at 7w5d.  Actual miscarriage on 1/19/14.
    Ultrasound at 10w on 12/6/19 showed yolk sac but no fetus.  Stopped growth confirmed at second ultrasound a week later; used misoprostol to finish the miscarriage.
  • I don't have any children yet, but I was pregnant in December and had a miscarriage at 5w4d. I'm terrified of having another one. I'm 4w2d right now and don't know how to get myself through the next few weeks of anxiety.
  • @kboydbowman sending you so many positive thoughts and vibes. Really hope you get that heartbeat this time! You too @knottie
  • @beaglelove2 feel free to join us in the PGAL (Pregnant After Loss) check in too as a safe place to talk about your worries. 
    beaglelove2
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