October 2020 Moms

GTKY: STM+

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Re: GTKY: STM+

  • @JLaVO888 that’s so amazing to hear. It’s such a huge fear because I just remember feeling so alone. I hope that this time being more aware of it I’ll be able to enjoy the baby phase a lot more. Thank you! 
  • @babycakesday I really struggled with anger/rage. And now when I look back I hardly even remember her first year becuase I was in such a fog. She was also a horrible sleeper which I think contributed to it but being on the right medication has made a world of difference. I’ve still had some hard days but they are only days....not months. 
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  • Any STM+ pregnant with their first baby after a really difficult previous pregnancy (for any reason)? DD2 had serious health issues and it was a high-risk and stressful pregnancy, birth, and well..still is hah, but I’m just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat. It’s so hard to just enjoy things. 
  • @coldbrew I’m in the same boat. I’ve never had a “normal” pregnancy. My last one I was put on bedrest at 26 weeks and my son was born at 30 weeks. 
    It’s so hard to feel like this one will be different and just be positive about it in general. 
    I’m honestly considering not announcing this pregnancy at all just in case it does go badly again. 
    Me: 27 DH: 27
    Married 6/15/13
    BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks 
    ~In our hearts forever~
    BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18


  • @profmcgonagall I’m sorry that happened. I understand the not wanting to tell completely. I am trying really hard to wait until at least 12 weeks but with my job (RN) I sometimes have to inform my co-workers so that I can avoid specific patients/situations. 
  • @coldbrew What unit do you work in? 
    I used to be a medsurg nurse but haven’t worked in over 3 years because my husband was stationed overseas. I really miss it though! 
    Me: 27 DH: 27
    Married 6/15/13
    BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks 
    ~In our hearts forever~
    BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18


  • @coldbrew What unit do you work in? 
    I used to be a medsurg nurse but haven’t worked in over 3 years because my husband was stationed overseas. I really miss it though! 
    When I had DD1 and DD2 I worked inpatient on a telemetry/cardiac unit, now I work in a pediatric urgent care. 
  • I’m currently 3+6 but weirdly seem to already be having symptoms. I don’t remember that they’ve ever started this early before.

    my kids are 6, 4 (almost 5), and 2.

    I’m concerned about how I’ll manage my work schedule with a baby. Right now we have a good system in place with my mom helping, but she won’t be able to care for a newborn very often on her own. We also weren’t planning to start trying for another 9 months so I thought we’d get another year of only one in daycare and be able to save up more money (my 4 yo starts kindergarten in the fall, so it will just be the 2 yo in daycare and our bills will go down to $1400/mo instead of $2800/mo.)

    I’m also currently concerned about my 4 yo’s behavior and worried that she’ll go from defiant preschooler straight to defiant teen and we’ll never get a handle on her.
  • @JLaVO888, if you buy britax car seats, you should be able to just fit 3 across. I don’t know what car you drive but that’s how we’ve been getting by for the past 2+ years in our Outback. I’m pretty sure it would work in most sedans, too.
  • @NME44 good to know. We’ve got Graco seats. Our truck is probably already for three but my car-Toyota Matrix is a tight fight with just two haha. 
  • @JLaVO888 Car Seats for the Little’s and the Car Seat Lady both talk about three seats across in most cars. The most slim seats you can get are the Diono Radians and that’s usually what is recommended for three across. I love our Radians and they are amazing for when we fly too. 
  • @JLaVO888 Car Seats for the Little’s and the Car Seat Lady both talk about three seats across in most cars. The most slim seats you can get are the Diono Radians and that’s usually what is recommended for three across. I love our Radians and they are amazing for when we fly too. 
    Omg 🤦🏼‍♀️ Reading this comment I just realized we, too, have Dionos. Not Britax. Sorry for the bad advice, @JLaVO888, lol. But yes, Diono.
  • Days like these I wish my kid liked TV. I was the one getting him up this morning (H decided playing games until 1am was a good idea ...he is useless today) and of course was welcomed by a giant poop that only a bath could resolve. Definitely a favorite considering the morning sickness 😑 he's been 100 miles an hour since then and I'm just over it already!
  • @morethanamama oh I feel you on this. Some day are just really hard. I hope you get some help or a nice break today. DD is the only one of her friends who doesn’t care about tv for more than like 10 minutes. I thought she was the only one. Hang in there!
  • Yesterday during DD's naptime I had a sobbing breakdown about my worries about how number two will change/complicate things, especially my relationship with DD. We tried for so long to get pregnant and I'm also terrified of another loss. Hormones are the worst.
    Me: 29 || DH: 29
    TTC #1 4/2016 || dx NIR PCOS 7/2016 || BFP 4/2017
    DD - 12/28/17 <3

    TTC #2 3/2019
    BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
    BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
  • @babycakesday thank you! I just had a giant lunch and plopped on the couch while DS naps. 
    @MJDsquared I also have so many feelings about the relationship with my son changing and it makes me so sad, like I'm doing him a disservice by giving him a sibling. Sorry about the hormones messing things up for you today, hugs
  • @coldbrew my DD broke her collar bone during delivery, and I was put on bedrest at 32 weeks with DS, so I feel you on the rough pregnancy front.

    @MJDsquared and all of the others transitioning from 1 to 2, those feelings are soooooo real but once baby gets here you really do just figure it out.  DD swore I had DS for her, and she is even more excited this time around.  It does work out.


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  • How far along are you? By LMP, 5 weeks today, but I ovulated 2 days late. 

    Age(s) of other kid(s)? 2 yo son (turns 2 next week actually)

    Any worries you have? I think I’m the same as most others, it’s hard to picture what life looks like with 2 kids. Also, my parents retired right around when my son was born, so they have been my childcare along with 2 day/week MDO. My mom has been hinting that they wouldn’t be able to do this for 2 kids, so I’m freaking out about that. I pay her, but it’s nothing compared to what day care or a part time nanny would cost. 
  • 4 week 6 days

    5G

    I am worried about how our daughter will adjust to this change. She has been an only child for a long time and will be 6 when baby is born. 

    I am worried about our finances. FT daycare is a must since we both work FT.

    I worry about having a harder baby. DD was a wonderful first baby.

    I worry that my kids will never have a close sibling bond because of the age gap. 

    Uggg. So much worry!
  • @coldbrew, my first thought, the second they put my 3rd child on my chest was, “oh my god, what did I do to my perfect family???” That panicked feeling went away pretty quickly though and obviously we can’t imagine our family without her now. I’m prepared for that same thought to creep it’s way in this time, too.
  • @angthesa I wouldn’t worry too much about the age gap. My sister is 8 years older than I am. She was my babysitter growing up, so almost like a second mom in a way. Now that we are adults, we are very close. It’s just a different kind of relationship than siblings close in age, but still great!
  • NME44 said:
    @coldbrew, my first thought, the second they put my 3rd child on my chest was, “oh my god, what did I do to my perfect family???” That panicked feeling went away pretty quickly though and obviously we can’t imagine our family without her now. I’m prepared for that same thought to creep it’s way in this time, too.
    Pretty sure I just go the chills reading this lol. Now imagining myself panicking when baby 3 is handed to me. I know you were trying to comfort but at this point I'm able to turn any positive words in to something worrisome. Trusting that feeling will be fleeting though, its still scary right now.
  • @Smelh324, I definitely wasn’t trying to worry anyone! Just trying to comment that it’s totally normal to have these feelings up to and including birth, lol! But babies are amazing little humans who you can’t help but love and everything will be okay.
  • angthesaangthesa member
    edited February 2020
    @mkp0903 Thanks for this. I would love for then to be close but i do know it is a bit out of my control. She also wants a sister... she is way into frozen so an Anna to her Elsa would make all her dreams come true! I
  • @NME44 no it’s just so true! Everyone always says oh once that baby is in your arms..etc. But I feel like it still takes a little time for everything to settle. It was definitely hard the first few months adjusting to being a parent of two and not being able to give DD1 all the attention she wanted. Ready for round 2 😅
  • How far along: 4w exactly

    Ages(s) of other kid(s): DS, 7yo

    Any worries you have? It's so early in for me, I don't think I've really come to terms that I'm actually pregnant again! It's been so long in between. I'll answer this question again in a couple of weeks!
  • Ladies, deep breaths for me today. I love my son to death and he is so fun, but man, he is 100 miles per hour. He slept 12 hours (great, I know) and he was just READY for the day. Today I felt so rotten it was seriously hard to just be patient and present with him because all I wanted was to lay down and watch TV 😑
  • @morethanamama you’re doing a great job. Our TV is almost always on, so no judgment from me. Especially today, since I was sick and needed rest. 
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  • @morethanamama no judgement here. My son has been the same way recently and I’m so exhausted. We’ve been watching lots of tv and my house is a disaster 
    Me: 27 DH: 27
    Married 6/15/13
    BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks 
    ~In our hearts forever~
    BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18


  • @morethanamama no judgment. I have been extra frustrated with my almost 6 year old since I’m feeling so lousy. I literally asked her to just leave me alone for a little, I couldn’t do it. Plus DH is out of town for work which makes it more difficult. 
  • @morethanamama I relate to this! It’s hard when you don’t have energy for yourself, let alone another person.

    Not sure how old he is, but i found these great little craft kits at Michaels- the brand is Creatology, and they come with everything and keep my 3yo busy. The pieces are like foam stickers and pop outs so no glue or cutting needed or anything from me. I just sit there and try to stay awake. 
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  • @angthesa my son will be 8 (October 27) when this one is born. I have been worried about the age gap too, but I am looking forward to having a big kid helper around!
  • Thanks for the support ladies! I have to give myself grace. I work full time, and I'm pregnant, and I'm also dealing with a bunch of other stuff like planning family visits, refinancing our house and those few hobbies I have left, so I'm giving it my all! I hate being short with my son just because I'm feeling poorly though:(
  • Good morning ladies!   I’m 4w1 day.  

    My daughter is almost 3.

    Right now I’m just thinking we have to really get our little girl potty trained! I can’t deal with 
    2 kids in diapers at the same time.  We tried potty training in December and that was a disaster.   So hopefully in the next few months we can get that going in the right direction!  Not a real fear here but I’m dreading cleaning out our other bedroom to my a nursery.  It’s been a dumping ground for everything that doesn’t have a home in our house.  So we need to do a major purge.  
  • @anitamargarita_82 I love a good purge! We moved in May so overall our house is pretty organized. However storage space is limited ...we knew this from the get go and in a sense we decided it was a good thing because it's really keeping us from buying unnecessary things. I just posted about potty training in the stm+ thread! 
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