Infertility
katpurrson
member
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Detailed Intro (Losses & kids mentioned)
katpurrson
member
in Infertility
Hi Ladies! After much lurking the Bump is finally letting me post. I’m currently on hold for my 2nd round of IVF and am going crazy waiting. Little (or a lot) about my journey...
2007: became unexpectedly pregnant with my boyfriend at the time, but miscarried at 11 weeks. Honestly, (and I feel horrible saying this) it was a relief at the time because he turned out to be a VERY BAD guy.
2007: became unexpectedly pregnant with my boyfriend at the time, but miscarried at 11 weeks. Honestly, (and I feel horrible saying this) it was a relief at the time because he turned out to be a VERY BAD guy.
2014: became pregnant naturally w/ my current partner, but it ended with a blighted ovum. I was given misoprostol to complete the miscarriage, which was one of the most horrible things I’ve ever experienced, far worse than the first miscarriage. At this point I really had no clue I would have difficulty having a baby as I had gotten pregnant twice without trying, and my partner has 3 boys from his first marriage.
2016: we began actively trying, but month after month BFN. I went my gyno for tests (bloodwork, saline ultrasound & uterine lining scraping), but was told all came back normal. The only thing abnormal was my extremely low vitamin d levels. I immediately began supplementing to correct it, and we continued to try and try with no luck at all.
2018: I finally broke free from my denial and found the courage to seek help at a fertility clinic. The HSG revealed I had fibroids, so in August ‘18 I had a laparoscopy during which they discovered I also had stage II endometriosis (what!??!! Like many other women, I was always told my painful periods were normal). After successful surgery, we did 7 (yes 7!) cycles of clomid w/ IUI over the next year, all unsuccessful. It was then we decided to switch clinics.
Intake tests showed my AMH was at 1.56, so not great, but new doc seemed optimistic. Partner’s sperm test was ok. Count and motility were good, but morphology was a bit out of range. He’s 44, so we didn’t expect super sperm. His results are acceptable for IVF.
December ‘19: we did our first cycle of IVF, which in hindsight we probably should’ve delayed. My CD3 estradiol level was elevated (85) and I had a 18.8mm cyst, but the doctor pushed ahead with stims, and I was so excited to finally be starting IVF that I kept quiet and went with his plan. I did 150 Follistim and Menopur, then added Ganirelix and triggered with HCG. Out of 13 follicles, 8 were retrieved, five were mature, 4 fertilized and only 1 made it to blast. PGT-A testing determined it was abnormal. I was put on bcp while we waited.
Jan ’20: we expected to start stim round 2, but my CD3 bloodwork showed my estradiol was sky high (186), and I had a 40mm cyst on the right side (yikes! Literally the size of a ping pong ball). This past Tuesday I had the cyst aspirated, and now I’m back on bcp until the start of my next period which will hopefully be before Valentine’s Day.
In the mean time, between cycle 1 and delay of cycle 2, my partner’s sister announced she is expecting her second child. She’s one year younger than me and conceived easily, so of course now I’m on hold, and the big green jealousy monster is playing the bongos in my brain. This Tuesday will be my 39th birthday, and I’m not feeling like I have much to celebrate. A baby before 40 is just not going to happen for me. Worse than that, my father is losing his battle with prostate cancer (exhausted all conventional treatment options and seeking clinical trials as a last resort). He’s tired and weak, and I’m terrified I won’t be able to give him a grandchild before it’s too late.
So, that’s me. Sorry for the SUPER long post. I’m sad to be here, but grateful for all of you!
So, that’s me. Sorry for the SUPER long post. I’m sad to be here, but grateful for all of you!
Re: Detailed Intro (Losses & kids mentioned)
My journey is not as long. DH and I have been TTC for the better part of 2.5 years. We've tried naturally, with letrozole only, Clomid and 2 failed IUIs, and now are also starting the IVF process. We are in the stim phase - day 3 for me.
I'm very sorry to hear about your father's condition and am hoping that he will get to see your grandchild. My parents and in laws are aging, so sometimes we feel the same pressure. I also feel your green jealous monster inside of me when I hear about people getting pregnant. I feel happy and sad at the same time, but I feel that it is a normal response to the situation we are in. We should not feel guilty for feeling sorry for ourselves because it is an unfortunate situation.
Wishing you the best and look forward to hearing about the rest of your journey.. baby dust!