- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
November 2019 Moms
Lark2013
member
FTM Struggling with anxiety and breastfeeding
Lark2013
member
I'm needing to see if there are more people like me out there and if anybody has any advice.
1) My LO is 4 weeks old and I've struggled with my milk supply since the beginning. She had jaundice, so we started supplementing with formula very early at the recommendation of our care team, and we've been doing it ever since because my milk supply is not enough for baby. She's feeding on demand and we do switch feeding 10 minutes on each side and then she gets 2 oz of formula. I don't pump frequently (timing has never worked out unless my husband is home to do post feeding care so that I can), but when I do, I barely get 20 ml (not even 1 ounce) if I'm lucky. I've talked with 3 lactation consultants, eat oatmeal every day, drink at least 2 cups of mother's milk tea, and try to get enough water (although I often fall short) and I'm still struggling. Logically I know that because she is gaining weight and has proper wet/soiled diapers that she is fine. It's the emotional burden of not being able to support her on breast milk alone that has been hard on me. Has anybody experienced this or have success stories about getting supply up this late in the game?
2) I'm worried about her mental development. I see a lot of special needs kids at school and am terrified that she'll have some sort of mental disability - autism is the big one right now because she won't make eye contact. I don't know what's normal for a 1 month old because I've never done this before and none of our family or friends have kids this young. I'm not the type of person who seeks out interactions with people, and don't really listen to music, so it's pretty quiet around the house most of the time and I'm worried that my choices are going to hurt her developmentally down the line.
3) I'm not enjoying being a mom. My pregnancy was not particularly enjoyable but everybody told me it would be worth it when I finally had my baby. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but currently feel that she is not worth the anxiety and stress that I feel almost daily. I'm not sure if it's just the fact that she's so new, the hormones, stress, or some form of postpartum depression. Anybody else going through this or gotten over it?
1) My LO is 4 weeks old and I've struggled with my milk supply since the beginning. She had jaundice, so we started supplementing with formula very early at the recommendation of our care team, and we've been doing it ever since because my milk supply is not enough for baby. She's feeding on demand and we do switch feeding 10 minutes on each side and then she gets 2 oz of formula. I don't pump frequently (timing has never worked out unless my husband is home to do post feeding care so that I can), but when I do, I barely get 20 ml (not even 1 ounce) if I'm lucky. I've talked with 3 lactation consultants, eat oatmeal every day, drink at least 2 cups of mother's milk tea, and try to get enough water (although I often fall short) and I'm still struggling. Logically I know that because she is gaining weight and has proper wet/soiled diapers that she is fine. It's the emotional burden of not being able to support her on breast milk alone that has been hard on me. Has anybody experienced this or have success stories about getting supply up this late in the game?
2) I'm worried about her mental development. I see a lot of special needs kids at school and am terrified that she'll have some sort of mental disability - autism is the big one right now because she won't make eye contact. I don't know what's normal for a 1 month old because I've never done this before and none of our family or friends have kids this young. I'm not the type of person who seeks out interactions with people, and don't really listen to music, so it's pretty quiet around the house most of the time and I'm worried that my choices are going to hurt her developmentally down the line.
3) I'm not enjoying being a mom. My pregnancy was not particularly enjoyable but everybody told me it would be worth it when I finally had my baby. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but currently feel that she is not worth the anxiety and stress that I feel almost daily. I'm not sure if it's just the fact that she's so new, the hormones, stress, or some form of postpartum depression. Anybody else going through this or gotten over it?
Re: FTM Struggling with anxiety and breastfeeding
1) Formula feeding is EXCELLENT nutrition for your baby. There is this huge stigma around not breastfeeding and frankly, it's garbage. It makes moms feel like garbage no matter what the reason for choosing not to may be. You have made all of the right decisions for feeding your baby, and if breastfeeding causes you stress and anxiety, it may be time to let it go. It will give you more quality time with your little one and more time for yourself. No judgement however you choose, but know that you're a fantastic mother already, no matter what your baby eats.
2) Eye contact won't be solid just yet, don't worry. I use an app called The Wonder Weeks, and it gives you an idea of milestones and 'leaps' for development - I've found it really helpful. I'm also not super social, and 'mommy groups' sound like a new version of hell, but I just narrate our day to my baby and take to him about the cases that Judge Judy is mediating. At the end of the day, he's not going to remember, and it's the stimulation that counts.
3) Girl, same. I'm learning to trust myself and also forgive myself. Compassion is key - I remind myself daily that he and I are both learning. Also, there are no right answers - do your best and keep improving on yesterday. If that all feels overwhelming, that's okay too. Reach out to a professional, like your doctor, midwife, nurse, or pediatrician. Postpartum anxiety is a very real thing and it's not something you should go through alone.
💜💜 You've got this, Mama. It's obvious you care deeply for your baby, just remember to give yourself some of that love and compassion.
My son was also not making eye contact at 4 weeks, maybe occasionally, but now at almost 7 he is making more eye contact. He does seem to be a bit delayed in other areas, but he's also only 7 weeks so who knows if he really is or not, at this age! What's important is his doctor is aware of his development and can help me find interventions if they think it's necessary, which, at this young age, they haven't suggested any. I really hope you talk to your dr. about post partum anxiety, so you can relax and spend more time enjoying your baby