I have this coworker who is COMPLETELY inflexible. I was trying to schedule a meeting, and he was the last to respond. So I reached out to him directly to see if he is available for the one date/time that works for everyone else. I was scheduling the meeting weeks in advance (the tentative date was mid-Feb). Instead of responding to my question he replied saying "This is my availability next week" (the email was sent last week, so the availability was referring to this week). I had to go back and forth several times asking if he was available on a specific day/time, he eventually responded once I asked if this was also his availability in February. Mind you, he only gave me 3 available hours for the entire week. We're at a University and no one teaches all day, everyday. In fact, no one in my department teaches more than 3 days a week. No surprise, the three hours he was available didn't work with everyone else's schedule. I told him that he was going to miss the meeting. He responded with a very passive aggressive email and said I should find a time that works for everyone (major eye roll).
Well, that was just one meeting. Unfortunately, I have to work with him on another project as well. After our last conversation, I made it a point to make the meeting during a time I knew he was available. I just sent out the calendar invitation and he responded with "tentatively available." Are you kidding me guy- after all of the back and forth he better be available. This is the downside of people who already have tenure and find it too time consuming to contribute to the department.
@drkoyya You scared me because I thought your TW stood for trigger warning. Maybe change the title to "TW Tuesday" to avoid confusion/other people briefly freaking out for you, haha. Anyway, about you OTHER kind of TW, that dude sounds super annoying. I hope you figure out a way to get him to cooperate without driving yourself insane!
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
@drkoyya Ugh. I hate people that don't read carefully and are so self centered. Ick.
Also, side note, but can you edit thread title to TW Tuesday?
I spaced on it being Tuesday, and was thinking TW for trigger warning, and I was afraid you had some terrible news. Super glad you don't, still sorry that you're dealing with such a PITA coworker.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I called my mom yesterday to make sure MH made it out to pick up DS. While I was on the phone with her she asked how my doctor's appointment went. I said great! Baby's heartbeat was perfect and I passed my glucose test! Her response was "oh that's nice, so did you find out when your leave is starting so granny and I can plan our vacation?"......way to make me feel like you actually care about me and not just your vacation plans.
AFM: My TW is my cousin who is *supposed* to be one of my closest friends, who finally asked me when my DD was last week and has generally ignored all reference/discussion of my pregnancy. Today she told me we needed to plan a trip to Louis Vuitton soon. Uh... I'm about to have four kids - three of whom will be in daycare. I'm not sure what exactly she thinks I can buy at LV. She's seriously ridiculous sometimes. 🙄
@ruby696 LOL. Not quite the same, my 22 year old single sister just asked me to plan a vacation for us. Um girl. I’m about to have 3 kids 7 and under. One of which is still in treatment for another 2 years. My trips for the foreseeable future include daydreams about the beach IF I can close my eyes.
So my auto insurance expired this past weekend and I had to find a new insurer because the place I purchased from switched underwriters. I had gotten a not great quote from our home insurance broker ($1700) so I took to the internet and ended up getting a quote of $1400 from the same insurer. So I went back to the broker and he replied that he doesn’t have access to online quotes and his quote from the same insurer is now $1800. Eff that.
Called the online hotline and get told that since we already have home insurance with them I can ONLY purchase auto insurance through the broker, but she gives me a reference number and says the broker can access my quote with that. Back to the broker- he says he can’t access the quote because he’s not on the same system and he just shrugs as to why his quote is $400 higher. Apparently I’m supposed to do the work of figuring it out? Anyway I found another insurer altogether. I’m baffled. Aren’t insurance brokers supposed to sell new policies? Think I’ll be shopping around when our home policy comes up for renewal next fall.
@ruby696 I hear you! My 25 year old sister just doesn't get it either. Like, complaining that she didn't get good sleep due to a cat crying, or trying to make evening plans.
I have a friend who keeps trying to make dinner and drinks plans out for 5 pm. Nope, sorry, too broke to go out for both, can't drink, and I don't have childcare before my husband gets home, so I can't leave my house until 5.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
late TW - but last night my family was all over for dinner and are hardcore pressuring us to commit to a Yellowstone trip the first week of July this summer. I originally said that we could swing the trip IF we stayed in cabins or one of the hotels as baby boy will only by about 6 weeks and I just don't feel confident committing to tent camping for 4 nights 8 hours away from home. Also - I will definitely still be nursing throughout the night and don't really want to deal with the anxiety of bears sniffing out milk and bombarding our tent...
My family though seems to think we are being "silly" and that it's no big deal - even my SIL who I thought would have my back as she has 2 young kids and just had a baby is on board with us "trying to make it work." We LOVE camping and I am seriously bummed about missing this trip because I know it's going to be amazing and fun, but we will have a 6 week old baby and it's just too much - we are not the crazy ones!
@chewie5990 There is no way I would do that trip with a 6 week old. For one, you'll still be recovering and not at 100% and able to hike or do the kinds of things you'd want to do in Yellowstone (especialy if you end up needing a C-section). Two, the baby will likely still be waking up every 2-3 hours and if you're in a tent, that is no fun for anyone involved. Three, yeah... wildlife is dangerous, even in the most touristy areas (and can be MORE dangerous in touristy areas since they're accustomed to people), and I would not bring a brand newborn into the mix. Four, you will be so exhausted and will just want to go home, even if you're in a cabin. Five, the first 3 months are meant for being at home and bonding with your new baby while you find your new normal. I feel like I could keep going for a while, haha. Personally, I would just say no and make plans to go yourselves when YS is a bit older.
ETA words
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
@shamrocandroll - 100% agree and stated all these reasons!! We are not planning to go it's just so annoying that everyone in my family thinks we are being unreasonable and want it to be a "whole family trip" and like we are ruining it by not going. I'm glad I have support here that I'm not the crazy one in the situation!
@chewie5990 You are definitely NOT the crazy one in this scenario!! Stick to your decision of No. I cannot even imagine how that could be enjoyable for you in the least bit. Maybe if baby was 6 months or older it would be fun, but not with a 6 week old. What is it with families and their crazy expectations of what we “should” be doing in that 4th trimester?!?
@chewie5990 If they really want everyone to go, maybe they should push the trip out a couple months? That seems more realistic to me. Of course, they probably won't go for that, so at least you can tell them they're being just as unreasonable as you are. 🙂
Ooof. At six weeks PP, I’m barely human. You aren’t even cleared for sex until the six week mark. I think people forget that having a human being exit your body (no matter which way it happens) is a physically and mentally exhausting experience that you don’t easily recover from.
Thanks technology for giving people unrealistic expectations that moms just jump back into skinny jeans and start power lifting as soon as we get out of the hospital. 🙄
@chewie5990 is this your first baby? By six weeks you only just start to sort of get into a groove with things. People forget what it’s like. It’s really disappointing, people you think should have your back because they’ve been through it, often don’t.
@chewie5990 With my first, I had *almost* fourth degree tears. At 6 weeks, I wasn’t even able to walk without pain yet. It wasn’t until the 3 month mark, that I began to feel normal in that department. Not only would it be extremely hard with a newborn, but you won’t know how you will be even feeling physically (or mentally!) at that point!
@shamrocandroll - 100% agree and stated all these reasons!! We are not planning to go it's just so annoying that everyone in my family thinks we are being unreasonable and want it to be a "whole family trip" and like we are ruining it by not going. I'm glad I have support here that I'm not the crazy one in the situation!
+1 you're totally not crazy!
What if you go a bit late, which is 100% normal and expected?
With my first I wasn't ready for more than 2 hours away from my couch and Netflix until maybe 6 months postpartum. Definitely couldn't hike for a while.
With my second, and a smoother delivery, by maybe 10-12 weeks I could have stayed in a cabin.
I'm sorry your family is being so difficult.
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Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@brettanomyces this is my second - and I think maybe that's why they're being so pushy. I honestly had a really easy time with my first even with a c-section I was pretty much "back to normal" by 6 weeks and DS was a super easy newborn. Everything went about as smooth as possible. My SIL also just had her 2nd and both recoveries have been easy/quick with easy newborns. However, I'm very aware that none of this means that things will go similarly for baby #2. Also - an 8 hour drive will turn into a 12 hour drive with stopping every 2 hours to nurse and night time with baby and my 4 year old in a tent just doesn't sound desirable. But yeah I'm definitely sticking to my guns here and staying home.
@chewie5990 totally not crazy and so unfair for them to be pushing/guilting you about it. Not sure if this was mentioned too but the baby will also be exposed to a lot more people, from a lot of different places, with a lot of different diseases in a big tourist spot like that. I would not expose them to that or want to deal with the stress of that big a trip so early after. Nopes!
Re: TW Tuesday (1/28)
I have this coworker who is COMPLETELY inflexible. I was trying to schedule a meeting, and he was the last to respond. So I reached out to him directly to see if he is available for the one date/time that works for everyone else. I was scheduling the meeting weeks in advance (the tentative date was mid-Feb). Instead of responding to my question he replied saying "This is my availability next week" (the email was sent last week, so the availability was referring to this week). I had to go back and forth several times asking if he was available on a specific day/time, he eventually responded once I asked if this was also his availability in February. Mind you, he only gave me 3 available hours for the entire week. We're at a University and no one teaches all day, everyday. In fact, no one in my department teaches more than 3 days a week. No surprise, the three hours he was available didn't work with everyone else's schedule. I told him that he was going to miss the meeting. He responded with a very passive aggressive email and said I should find a time that works for everyone (major eye roll).
Well, that was just one meeting. Unfortunately, I have to work with him on another project as well. After our last conversation, I made it a point to make the meeting during a time I knew he was available. I just sent out the calendar invitation and he responded with "tentatively available." Are you kidding me guy- after all of the back and forth he better be available. This is the downside of people who already have tenure and find it too time consuming to contribute to the department.
FTM
BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
FTM
BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
Also, side note, but can you edit thread title to TW Tuesday?
I spaced on it being Tuesday, and was thinking TW for trigger warning, and I was afraid you had some terrible news. Super glad you don't, still sorry that you're dealing with such a PITA coworker.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
FTM
BFP: 9/5/19 ~ EDD 5/15/20
AFM: My TW is my cousin who is *supposed* to be one of my closest friends, who finally asked me when my DD was last week and has generally ignored all reference/discussion of my pregnancy. Today she told me we needed to plan a trip to Louis Vuitton soon. Uh... I'm about to have four kids - three of whom will be in daycare. I'm not sure what exactly she thinks I can buy at LV. She's seriously ridiculous sometimes. 🙄
Called the online hotline and get told that since we already have home insurance with them I can ONLY purchase auto insurance through the broker, but she gives me a reference number and says the broker can access my quote with that. Back to the broker- he says he can’t access the quote because he’s not on the same system and he just shrugs as to why his quote is $400 higher. Apparently I’m supposed to do the work of figuring it out? Anyway I found another insurer altogether. I’m baffled. Aren’t insurance brokers supposed to sell new policies? Think I’ll be shopping around when our home policy comes up for renewal next fall.
I have a friend who keeps trying to make dinner and drinks plans out for 5 pm. Nope, sorry, too broke to go out for both, can't drink, and I don't have childcare before my husband gets home, so I can't leave my house until 5.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
My family though seems to think we are being "silly" and that it's no big deal - even my SIL who I thought would have my back as she has 2 young kids and just had a baby is on board with us "trying to make it work." We LOVE camping and I am seriously bummed about missing this trip because I know it's going to be amazing and fun, but we will have a 6 week old baby and it's just too much - we are not the crazy ones!
ETA words
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
What if you go a bit late, which is 100% normal and expected?
With my first I wasn't ready for more than 2 hours away from my couch and Netflix until maybe 6 months postpartum. Definitely couldn't hike for a while.
With my second, and a smoother delivery, by maybe 10-12 weeks I could have stayed in a cabin.
I'm sorry your family is being so difficult.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green