Randoms (1/13-1/19) - Page 3 — The Bump
May 2020 Moms

Randoms (1/13-1/19)

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Re: Randoms (1/13-1/19)

  • @bananapanda Yes, washing pump and bottle parts is the PERFECT husband job!  I hated doing it, so offloading that to MH helped so much!
    **TW**
    Me: 34 | H: 39
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS: Nov 2016
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19 at 12 DPO
    EDD: 5/3/19  *please stick, baby*


    pourmeanothermocktailbananapandasoprano19Austenista
  • Oh, I also want to say.... I think it’s totally normal for a dad to take even longer than a mom to bond with their child. Not everyone is instant and they didn’t just carry it around for 9 months. Have their focus be on taking care of YOU. 
    Whoever mentioned the list... I agree! Your body needs rest and your hormones need the baby and the baby needs you. Your SO can clean and such! Taking care of you helps the baby because it helps you and your ability to care for it. 
    Me: 28   DH: 29
    Dx: PCOS
    TTGP: 9/2015
    Started at RE 5/2016
    *TW*
    BFP: 7/31/16  MC: 8/20/16
    BFP: 12/1/16   DD born: 7/30/17
    TTGP #2: 6/2018
    BFP: 4/24/19  MC: 5/19/19
    CP: 6/14/19
    DH's Dx: low morphology
    BFP: 9/12/19   EDD: 5/23/2020


    shamrocandrollheyybrittruby696drkoyya
  • Loading the player...
  • I think the list of things for partners to do is a great idea. Might be a good activity for us to do together over lunch one day while talking about baby stuff.
    Me: 31 ~ DH: 34 
    FTM
    BFP: 9/5/19 ~ EDD 5/15/20
    drkoyyamamaqdubu
  • I was going to tag people but there are too many so I'll just echo those who basically said, let your husband be a parent too. They don't have to do things the same way you to, or how you'd want them done. 

    My husband stayed home with my daughter for two weeks after I went back to work and it was the best thing. We're going to do that again this time. Giving him time to bond and forge his own relationship and be the primary caregiver is so important. 

    @pirateduck "My life is good, why change it?" This is 100% how I feel about having number 2... Also there are lots of women in my other BMB who don't like the infant stage and that's okay!
    DD #1 April 2017
    expecting mid-late May 2020

    heyybrittbananapanda
  • I mean the answer is always "because it can be even better," but there's always that fear that it won't be.
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


  • So for us, DF is a big fan of the newborn stage, like he adores adores a baby who NEEDS him to do everything. I don't mind it either but I seriously think his favorite stage is infant. He was a huge support for me while I struggled to try and breastfeed and then when I knew it wasn't going to happen he was great about cleaning all the pump parts etc. and he was amazing at reading when I needed to get out alone and breathe. DS had reflux pretty bad and was colicky and was up crying one night and then I was crying because I couldn't figure out what to do and DF instantly got up told me to go to bed and took care of DS and got him to sleep (we alternated getting up with him at night once breastfeeding didnt work). All of this to say too, I think DS was about the easiest infant ever (and I know I am not getting that lucky again haha) so some of it depends on baby too some babies are just tougher than others. 

    As a STM I have this fear that I will not love this baby as much as DS, we are two peas in a pod, to the point DF keeps saying I hope that Jensen likes me half as much as DS likes you.
    Me:30 DF:29
    DS1:Dec 13
    DS2:May 2020
    pirateduckshamrocandrollheyybrittruby696
  • Austenista  Austenista member
    edited January 17
    +1 to my husband doing an amazing job with the breast pump, cleaning bottles, mixing formula, etc etc. A lot of the time I’d come downstairs in the morning and he’d have my Dr Browns pitcher filled with the days’ worth of formula for DS2 before he left for work. A literal hero. 

    When my kids had RSV this winter and the pedi sent me home with a nebulizer and no guidance he was the one I called on to help me figure it out because it felt like dealing with a breast pump all over again. 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFruit Ticker
    mokay19mamaj1220
  • @Austenista I know it’s not a current issue but for things like nebulizer machines, I often recommend YouTube videos as a resource, because sometimes it’s helpful to watch things more than once (even if they had showed you how to use it). Just FYI for future medical stuff. There’s tons of accurate, helpful instructional videos on YouTube.
    louessbeepourmeanothermocktail
  • It occurred to me today that I’m 22 weeks pregnant, I have known I am pregnant for 18 weeks and in 18(ish) weeks I will have a baby. That just seems crazy to me that it has gone so fast and yet seems so far away still.
    heyybrittdrkoyyalisush
  • @sunshinesea22 today one of my apps said I'm on month 6 and I had to take a moment 😬
    Me: 31 ~ DH: 34 
    FTM
    BFP: 9/5/19 ~ EDD 5/15/20
    lisush
  • Changing topics a  bit I don't think we have a specific breast pump thread, and I'm starting to research.

    With dd I had the spectra s2 and it worked great and I loved it, this time I'm looking into a more portable one anyone have experience with the s9 or freemie independence? I really liked the s2 and plan to continue to use it, but being in a new school without the privacy to pump in multiple private rooms like I was last year I'm afraid I'll need something portable and more discrete, but I don't want to lose my supply because they're not "good enough" to use every day.

    Thoughts? 
    Me: 32 |  DH: 44
    Started Dating: November 2007
    Married: July 2017
    DD May 2018, #2 hopefully May 2020
  • @jhysmath I have been looking at the portable ones too because I am on the road so much. I was also wondering about the battery life and what everyone seems to think is best bang for your buck.
    Me:30 DF:29
    DS1:Dec 13
    DS2:May 2020
  • @jhysmath I think there’s a breast pump thread but it’s a bit older. Second page, maybe? Anyways, I recently read that the S1 with the freemie attachments is great for pumping moms on the go. I have the S2 also (which I love), but I believe that the S1 has a battery pack that’s supposed to last 3(?) hours and it’s compatible with the freemie which allows you to pump hands free and wearing your regular bra. So basically, you wouldn’t have to sit around half naked and plugged up to an outlet.
  • @jhysmath I would stick to a spectra pump, and just get the Freemie cups. Or, even better, get the manual Freemie pump (comes with the cups for only $10 more!) so you have the cups compatible with a GOOD pump, and have a great double manual pump for when electric isn't the best option.
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I don't know what it is about going to my moms but my kid just went to spend the night again with her. He asks almost every week and by some miracle she 9 times out of 10 says yes. But it isn't like the rules are any different there than at home other than she is more lax about him laying down at 8
    Me:30 DF:29
    DS1:Dec 13
    DS2:May 2020
    pourmeanothermocktail
  • My family is stressing me out asking about when they should come visit after baby is born.  I don’t know what to tell them.  I’m more worried about the next few months leading up to baby and getting ready.  I have no idea how I will feel physically or emotionally once the baby is born.  I only normally see them once a year at most so the thought of them visiting (with or without baby) causes me anxiety.
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


  • @pirateduck I would say exactly that "I'm not sure how I will feel physically or emotionally after the baby is born. We will let you know when we are up for visitors." This should be enough and would hope no one would show up unannounced. 
    pourmeanothermocktaildrkoyya
  • @pirateduck +1 to "I'm not sure." It's a huge freaking adjustment and who knows how it's going to go. Are people going to stay with you, or are they just a day trip? Or in a hotel? Because if they will stay in your home, it could be 4-6 months before that seems possible, depending on how helpful they are. For just a short day visit, obviously that doesn't need crouch consideration. 

    Hugs. It's annoying that you are being pestered about things so nebulous and far away.
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @pourmeanothermocktail and @afranzen85 thanks.  I think I’m gonna try and push them not to make a plan until baby makes an arrival.  I will not let them stay in the house and they do not plan on it, so that’s good.  They need to come by plane so I’m sure that’s why they are trying to plan ahead, it also means they will be around for more than an afternoon.  I’m afraid once here they will expect me to “entertain” and figure out activities for them. I don’t want them to be at my house from sunup to sundown.  I need a way to come up with “visiting hours” or something to keep things in check.  My SIL is a bit much and has 3 little kids of her own (ages 7,4,2) so it’s a bit full on when they are around.  My mom will do her best to be helpful and I don’t mind.  The thought of having any company for more than an afternoon makes me nervous.  
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


    pourmeanothermocktail
  • We just got our first box of hand me down clothes from DH’s cousin. Most of the clothes are 9-18 months but they’re still so small. I thought some of them were for 3-6 months, but I was wrong. I’ve been around newborns/babies a lot in the past 3 years but apparently I still misjudged how small they are in the first 6 months.
    Me: 28  DH: 29
    FTM
    BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
  • @drkoyya I just got my Amazon welcome package and there were a few NB diapers in there and I was thinking the same thing, so tiny!!! Also I keep looking at my cat and thinking when my baby is born it will be smaller than my cat, which is hard to imagine!
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


    drkoyyalisush
  • @pirateduck I would agree to stick with “I don’t know” because not only physically and emotionally right after, but you never know what kind of recovery you’ll be in and baby. Also, I wouldn’t allow kids to stay at the house like that until minimum after 2-3 months once the infant has more vaccinations. Kids are germ magnets and I wouldn’t want them spending that much time in and around the house with a new baby that’s more vulnerable. 

    My ILs (four adults) planned to visit 4 WEEKS after DD’s due date and DH told his mom that they needed to find a hotel and she said “no, it’ll be fine.” Which still pisses me off to this day. DD was born 2 weeks early so she was 6 weeks old when they came. I was extremely fortunate in my recovery that I could physically handle it, but emotionally I would never do that again. I spent hours each day pumping and nursing in my bedroom with the door closed and locked because I needed time away from them. I wore DD a ton to limit holding since she was still so young for constant contact from other people. DH thankfully took his family on a day trip without me while they were here so I had a whole day without everyone, too. 

    Basically, I don’t recommend it as a first time mom. Especially with our early struggles of breastfeeding and weight gain. 
    Me: 28   DH: 29
    Dx: PCOS
    TTGP: 9/2015
    Started at RE 5/2016
    *TW*
    BFP: 7/31/16  MC: 8/20/16
    BFP: 12/1/16   DD born: 7/30/17
    TTGP #2: 6/2018
    BFP: 4/24/19  MC: 5/19/19
    CP: 6/14/19
    DH's Dx: low morphology
    BFP: 9/12/19   EDD: 5/23/2020


    ruby696m6agua
  • I just want to whine for a second. We’re going to a family event today, the first I’ve been to since announcing I was pregnant. I’m anticipating all the “you’ve gotten so big” comments and belly touches and having a minor freak out. 
    pourmeanothermocktail
  • @pirateduck I may or may not have already tried to swaddle my cat for practice, she's the size of a large newborn :sweat_smile:
    Me: 28  DH: 29
    FTM
    BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
    mamaj1220pourmeanothermocktailjrouge12lisush
  • @rox7777 Good luck! We’re all with you in solidarity and spirit! Hopefully minimal belly rubs
    rox7777drkoyya
  • @drkoyya you made me laugh!  I have joked that my one cat is the kind of cat that a toddler could carry around and a little girl could put doll clothes on.  I have memories of trying to dress a friends cat when we were really little.  Maybe I’ll be the one dressing the cat with my husband for practice, I’m sure the cat will squirm as much as a newborn!  :D 
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


    drkoyya
  • @drkoyya I took pictures with my 10 lbs dachshund in all of our baby things when pregnant with first-not the clothes but the car seat, swing, bassinet, etc. 

    I think practicing swaddling, diapering, and bathing a cat is a fair likeness for an upset 3-9 month old baby. When they're having a good moment, it's not that bad, lol.
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
    drkoyya
  • It’s getting snowy out and I’m jealous that I don’t have tomorrow off 
    Me:30 DF:29
    DS1:Dec 13
    DS2:May 2020
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