FFFC 1/18

ruby696 · January 2020

*Not guaranteed to be flame free.

rox7777 · January 2020

Yesterday I drank two cups of coffee, a Diet Coke, and a caramel frappe from McDonalds.

It was a long, exhausting day. I deserved it. I’m drinking decaf coffee this morning while I try to feel not guilty.

jrouge12 · January 2020

I paid my almost 4 year old to do her bedtime routine without whining last night. For each step she did, she got a coin for her piggy bank. In the end my hassle free bedtime cost me $0.07USD and $0.05CDN (she doesn't know coin values). Wrong to make this a regular thing?

@rox7777 I don't think that a one day caffeine binge is too bad!

shamrocandroll · January 2020

@jrouge12 Genius! I would keep doing it if it keeps working, but in my experience, something that works one day won't work the next, haha!

ruby696 · January 2020

@rox7777 Reading your post as I'm sitting in the Starbucks drive through. You just helped me justify ordering full strength coffee. I'm solo parenting until Monday morning. I deserve caffeine.

pirateduck · January 2020

I just came home from a trip to Vegas without my husband. Is it still a babymoon if he wasn't invited?

rox7777 · January 2020

@ruby696 Girllll. Let me tell you. I took DS1 to chemo yesterday, came home to MH’s cousins babies (they’re 18 months and 6 months) plus my 4 year old that’s in a cast and my 6 year old that was getting chemo that morning. My house was a disaster, DS1 had a spelling test today and had to go to school and her kids didn’t leave until 7pm. I sent MH out on a 7pm caffeine run because I had to power through homework, bath time and bed time while tripping over EVERYTHING I own thrown around the house.

Also, I’ve decided 3 kids is my absolute final amount. And I will pray you get all the caffeine when you have twins, because omg. Irish twins are no freaking joke.

pirateduck · January 2020

@rox7777 I forgot you had one in a cast! How is that going?

ruby696 · January 2020

@rox7777 You have me beat. But I did have to drive to San Francisco by myself yesterday for my fetal echo and then had to get home in time to pick up DD from daycare, clean the house, feed/bathe both kids, and then do a laundry because DS had an epic diarrhea incident. He also had nightmares about bees stinging him last night. 🙄 I'm tired, huge, easily, winded, and just want to sit in the couch. Only a couple nights to go. MH is not allowed to travel when the twins are here. Ever.

The highlight of my day was the 2 hr solo trip to SF. So peaceful.

rox7777 · January 2020

@ruby696 As a SAHM with two young boys I enjoy long solo drives. Sometimes with no destination. 😂

@pirateduck He’s ultra dramatic and is using it as an excuse to act like an infant. He refuses to walk even though he’s been cleared to do so since it’s a toddler fracture which tend to heal quickly. I can’t lug him around so he scoots on his butt everywhere and it’s a nightmare. Save me.

bananapanda · January 2020

@rox7777 and @ruby696 your week sounds tough, but hopefully the worst is almost over and you can find some peace this weekend?

My FFFC is that DH and I are both working from home today since we have long commutes and they're calling for freezing rain. We also kept DD home from daycare so we didn't have to have her out in it. I told DH I have lots of real work to do and started opening work programs. He went upstairs with DD to entertain her and now I'm just on The Bump. Oops?

pirateduck · January 2020

@rox7777 he's gonna have to get over it one of these days, as I'm sure he's got several more weeks in the cast. I remember my sister was in a cast around the age she was learning to walk and she was crawling and walking around the house in it like nothing was wrong. I hope your son can pull it together! It's good that he is actually allowed to walk, if you were forced to keep him inactive for weeks it would likely be much more difficult.

Austenista · January 2020

@rox7777 as another SAHM to two boys, I offer solidarity. I’ve been seriously thinking to myself that three is probably the max I can handle too the past couple of weeks.

Also I read this thread while having a cup of coffee in the gated kitchen while my children looked on. #stalkers

ruby696 · January 2020

@rox7777 and @Austenista You SAHM's are my heroes. I'm dreading the weekend because I have to be on 100%. During the week, I'm at work and only dealing with the craziness before school and in the evenings. And I make my kids start bedtime at 7:30 so I have a couple hours to unwind. 😬 I don't know how you ladies do it.

My FFFC: I have today off and could totally pick DD up from daycare early, but I probably won't. She only goes 3 days a week and I need uninterrupted time to clean the house. Also, I do not mind having our Cal King bed all to myself. Sorry DH.

pirateduck · January 2020

Oh @ruby696 last week one night and this week one night my husband was out of town, and having the bed to myself was the best sleep I'd gotten in ages. Enjoy every minute of it!

shamrocandroll · January 2020

Yesterday MH went out after work and left me to do dinner and bedtime solo. Normally this would be fine, but DS and I were both having an emotional evening, and it was not good times. I put DS down early and was really looking forward to some alone time, and MH walked through the door 10 minutes later! Dude, I love you, but if you're going to go out and stick me with the non-fun part of the evening, please stay out long enough for me to get some time alone!!!

And @ruby696 I stopped feeling guilty a long time ago about sending DS to daycare when I have the day off. I pay for it, so therefore I'm using it. ESPECIALLY if I was solo parenting! I hope you get to use the time for something productive and then also get a little bit of time to relax!

ruby696 · January 2020

@shamrocandroll I just spent the last 30 minutes hosing off our patio because apparently Great Danes don't want to get their feet wet and poop where they're supposed to if it's raining. So that was fun. My goal is to fold laundry and mop the floors. If I can get that done, I'll count it as a major win.

ETA: My neighbors probably think I'm crazy because I was lecturing the dogs about their bathroom choices the entire time I was outside cleaning. 😆

pourmeanothermocktail · January 2020

My confession-I totally and entirely loathe being pregnant. I'm sick and/or crippled for the entirety.

SAHM while pregnant is so so hard. I'm more likely to get touched out, and they're all over me! The youngest not walking, at almost 17 months now is killer.

rox7777 · January 2020

@ruby696 I was a teacher before I had kids. It’s either deal with 25 middle school kids that hate English or deal with my own kids that I can lock away and ignore if needed. I took a gamble and decided that the second option sounded better for my sanity. Kudos to the teacher moms because I seriously don’t know if I’ll ever use my degree again.

Also, I frequently stand outside lecturing my dog in public for taking too long to use the bathroom, walking through puddles/ant piles or just sniffing the air. I’m sure my neighbors think I’m insane.

rox7777 · January 2020

If you want a real FFFC. I actually never wanted kids, hence why I have a degree in education. Then DS1 happened. And MH is a spoiled man-child/only child so I decided he needed a sibling to avoid that fate. I don’t know why I was brainwashed into having a third. I blame hormones and my impending 30th birthday.

ruby696 · January 2020

@rox7777 Never in my life have I wanted four kids. I surprised myself for wanting a third. I love and am excited for the twins, but I'm having a really hard time getting excited for a "4th". Our life is pretty good right now and I worried how that might change with four. Makes me feel like a terrible person.

Oh, and even with soon to be four kids, I still find most other people's kids to be annoying.

rox7777 · January 2020

@ruby696 Honestly, I’d be battling some hardcore issues right now if this baby was a boy. I know people get up in arms about sex preference, BUT I have two boys close in age and it’s exhausting. A third might be the end of me. Especially after keeping an 18 month old boy yesterday.

I, oh for sure, don’t want a fourth. At my very first OB appointment my first question was how soon I could schedule my tubal. Shut off my biological clock and keep the babies away after baby girl is born.

Austenista · January 2020

@rox7777 coincidentally I too was an English teacher. How funny.

@ruby696 I can only speak for myself, but naps are life. I feel like I can handle anything as long as they will take a good nap and let me recover. I also delegate bedtime readiness to MH. Basically, if I can get through wake ups to naptime, that's the bulk of my solo momming. I won't lie and say that means it's easy or anything, but that's what I tell myself to get through the tough points, "naptime is coming." The most difficult thing about SAHM life in my case is when I can't be primary and having to find someone else to take over. Neither of us have parents that are readily available during the day. Home life is fine, it's the extras like doctor's appointments, errands that are run in and out of somewhere, or when I'm sick/not 100% somehow that make things challenging.

Austenista · January 2020

Along the same vein: I don't actually like kids. I never have. I like MY kids but I know it's because they're mine. If I hadn't had a sister that was 12 years younger than me that I really loved and showed me there were exceptions to the rule, I probably would have never thought I'd want children.

ruby696 · January 2020

@rox7777 I'm making MH schedule his vasectomy before these babies are even born. I'm not risking another. I'd have a tubal as well, if my hospital would do it. I might have one in a year or so, in addition to the vasectomy.

@Austenista My kids don't nap anymore. It's such a sad thing. I'm worried about how I'll deal with the twins and have my big kids home, because at least when I had my other two, I could nap when they did. That's not happening this time around. Pray for me. 😬

Austenista · January 2020

@ruby696 Hugs. I dread the day when naps are in the rear view. We've said for years we'd have four, but as I'm drawing closer to a third, I'm already feeling like, "what am I doing, I'm already swamped with two?" so we'll see how I feel when this third baby has settled in. I was sure I was done right after DS2 was born and then I came around to another. I might swing that fourth and I might for real be finished with three. Only time will tell.

rox7777 · January 2020

@ruby696 If I have a VBAC, I can’t get it done until 12 weeks PP, so I’m debating having MH get a vasectomy too. Is there a such thing as too much when it comes to preventing kids? 😂

soprano19 · January 2020

I'm honestly not sure yet if this one will be our last, so I can't chime in to that discussion. However, I do go back and forth on the daily between "I would be the worst SAHM ever" and "all I want to do is be a SAHM."

ruby696 · January 2020

@soprano19 Sometimes I think I'd be an awesome SAHM, with a clean house and a garden. Then I think maybe I would only be that awesome once the kids were all I'm school. Or maybe with a nanny. Lol.

soprano19 · January 2020

@ruby696 that's exactly my thought process too, lol. During school breaks or on the occasional day I stay home with DD if she's sick or something, I actually have a chance to clean and maybe even do some meal prep, and I feel awesome and I always tell H that I would be a great SAHM. But then DD starts driving me crazy and I'm like, "Nope."

pirateduck · January 2020

@ruby696 I'm not so secretly hoping being at home this summer will give me more opportunity to work on my garden.

rox7777 · January 2020

Hahaha. I thought for sure I’d get myself together when DS1 started school and I only had one at home. I quickly realized that it was even more chaos with required wake up times and bedtimes and homework and nightly baths and routines. I miss the days of going to bed at 2am and waking up at 10 and not caring because I had nowhere to be and the kids could just run wild.

Being a SAHM made me realize that I’m not a morning person. Middle school starts much later than elementary. It’s cruel and unusual to wake up 5 year olds at 6am.

mamaj1220 · January 2020

late but @pourmeanothermocktail same girl same. Even though this pregnancy has really been so much easier than my first I do not find being pregnant enjoyable. Like at all, I don't like sharing my body, the only thing I don't mind is feeling them move right now. My mom and cousin both said "you have time to have a third if you want a girl" and both were shocked that I was like nope I don't want to be pregnant again. And @rox7777 I thought I would be having a hard time if he was a boy too, but I was oddly relieved to have another boy, I know it is weird but I think I am just supposed to be a "boy mom" because boys make sense to me and even girls around DS age I am like good thing you are not mine because I can't do hair or any of that to save my life (unless you need some braids and not french braids but regular old braids). Also I often wish we could pull off me being a SAHM because seriously DS is the coolest kid I know (so biased but he is mine so I am allowed) but then I find myself talking with an adult and I am like yeahhhhh as much as I love him I need time with adults too.

My FFFC I always have thought of myself as an animal person in general, but I have found with my parents big dumb dog, I am partial to my animals because they have been trained and know what is expected. It also brought the realization that I am in fact a crazy cat lady. I would have 15 cats if I could but I know they all wouldn't get the love and attention, so I don't but cats are so easy, clean the box, feed them and snuggle them when they want no need to walk or play with for hours on end and no shoes chewed up.

pirateduck · January 2020

@mamaj1220 I am totally an animal person, but get it about other people’s dogs. I recently realized I don’t really like puppies. There is something so nice about having adult trained well behaved dogs. I just sent them outside alone in the below zero weather to pee. They have no collars, we have no fence, I don’t need to watch, they will come scratch the door when done, I can sit by the fire. So much easier. Also I never had a cat or lived with them until I was about 35. OMG I love them, even the mean one. Fortunately I can accept that I have my hands full, especially with baby on the way, or I’d totally collect more. I have a 14 1/2 year old golden retriever, the love of my life at the end of her life, and my GM has a litter of golden puppies for sale right now, and I’m trying to make that a hard no, but it is really tempting.

mamaj1220 · January 2020

@pirateduck YESSSS adult dogs are my jam, puppies are soooo much work. At our local SPCA I fell in love with an older dog but I can't take him because he is blind and mostly deaf so he would not be happy with a 6 yr old and a newborn, I just want someone to take him and love him the rest of his life. And our dog is puppy pad trained because she is a jerk and won't go outside in winter because she is a tiny itty bitty dog and you take her near the door and she shivers. So I compromised and put her puppy pad and cat litter by . each other.

pirateduck · January 2020

@mamaj1220 having my senior dog can get frustrating because it’s like reverting back to the puppy thing because she no longer can hold it all day or night and has to go out frequently and we put puppy pads out when we go to work, but she is so well behaved otherwise I cannot complain. My other dog is about 7 and I love it because she knows how to be mellow in the house but still has spunk and loves our outside hikes and such, no accidents and no mischief when I’m at work either.

pourmeanothermocktail · January 2020

@rox7777 Weird, in my area middle school and high school are early, and grade school is late. The oldest have earliest starts, preschool has the latest. So I think high school starts at 7:15/20, middle schools are 7:50 ish, grade schools are between 8:30 & 8:55 (5 of them locally), and our preschool bus picks up at 10:10. Preschool is a super short day, but the grade schools all get out late enough that Nov-Mar normally the kids can't really play outside after school because it's already dusk or dark when they get off the bus!

rox7777 · January 2020

@pourmeanothermocktail It’s the opposite here. Elementary school starts at 745 and gets out at 225, but middle school starts at 850 and gets out at 345. The middle schoolers aren’t generally home until 430 or so, which I could see being hard for little ones too. But my kids are not morning people regardless so waking them up super early for school is a huge fight everyday.

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