Trying to Get Pregnant
emeraldduchess
member
**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage, selective termination due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**
TTCAL 1/13-1/19
emeraldduchess
member
**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage, selective termination due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Status:
How are things going?
What is something that you are struggling with this week?
What is going well for you this week?
R/R?
Any testing coming up/any recent results?
GTKY: What is your favorite way to spend a cold, snowy day?
Re: TTCAL 1/13-1/19
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. Loss at 5 week in December '18, CP July '19
Status: TWW
How are things going? Ok, I guess. I am at the point in the tww when I don't feel any different than normal, so I assume I am out and just WFAF. This is getting old. I want/need to get off this rollercoaster/ferris wheel. Now.
What is something that you are struggling with this week? I am starting to feel it in my gut that a rainbow baby just might not be in our future. It's been over 6 months since our last loss. We've done several medicated cycles since then and still nothing. I know people have waited longer and gone through more. I get that. I also know that a BFP doesn't guarantee a take home baby. It's just incredibly frustrating and makes me so sad.
What is going well for you this week? The progesterone supplements that I take each cycle usually cause a crazy amount of itching and irritation, but this time hasn't been bad at all. I'll take that as a win.
R/R? Despite feeling pretty pessimistic right now, I started knitting another blanket for our future rainbow if/when they decide to join our family. It's coming along nicely and is a gorgeous emerald green color.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? If CD1 doesn't show, I guess betas at the end of the week. We have a follow up with the RE on the 30th and I am going to ask about any additional testing available (endometrial biopsy, etc.).
GTKY: What is your favorite way to spend a cold, snowy day? Tea, Netflix, and knitting.
I just finished my first cycle after a MMC in early Dec. We are now ready to start trying again.
Status: WTO
How are things going? I pulled my neck muscle last Wednesday and it still hurts 5 days later. I've been resting, stretching, using heat pads, ibuprofen, and a special neck pillow at night... man a pulled muscle has never lasted this long before.
What is something that you are struggling with this week? Other than the pain in my neck, nothing really. Mentally, I'm feeling pretty good. I listened to a recent On Point podcast episode about miscarriage and I was struck by how many women report feeling shame or guilt that they may have done something wrong to cause their MC. I'm grateful that I was reassured right when I got the bad news. My OB and midwife made a huge point to tell me "This.is.not.your.fault". It happens to many women and it's nothing I did or didn't do. I'm lucky I have the support that I have.
What is going well for you this week? I did some major cleaning and organizing this weekend because it was so yucky outside. All the Christmas stuff is put away in labeled bins, I reorganized my closet, and I dealt with months of piled up junk mail. It feels good to be organized!
R/R? not today
Any testing coming up/any recent results? no
GTKY: What is your favorite way to spend a cold, snowy day? When the snow is good, I love being on my snowboard. I bundle up in lots of layers so I'm never cold. I like riding through the trees where most people don't go. I'm not a fast snowboarder or a particularly good snowboarder. For me, it's more of a meditative activity.
@emeraldduchess Sorry to hear you are feeling down. I hope your follow up appointment gives you some answers!
What is something that you are struggling with this week? See above
What is going well for you this week? I traded in my old Camry and got a GMC Terrain, so a new car has helped my spirits some.
R/R? My husband is officially back at work from vaca, and staying at home to help out. I’m welcoming some routine back in my life. My house and everything else is a total mess.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? I have a follow up appt Thursday for my surgery. And we will discuss our next steps as far as ttc. I don’t even know how my body will work with just one tube. So I’ll be interested to see what the doctor says.
GTKY: What is your favorite way to spend a cold, snowy day Tv, and warm food.
@emeraldduchess Im glad the progesterone isn’t bothering you so much this cycle. I’m sorry that you’re in limbo right now, that part of the TWW Is the worst. It’s so hard to stay positive after you’ve been trying a while. I am so hoping that you get your THB soon, I know that the testing and losses have been hard. Sending all the vibes that you will use those blankets soon.
Edited for wording
somehow its already wednesday is this is the first chance this week i have had to get on here!
@photographerwife so sorry for your loss. routine was key for me, hope it is for you as well
@dancingtreepose can you give more info on that podcast? im such podcast newbie but i would love to listen to that one
@emeraldduchess you just pinned the nail on the head of the one realization i had this week "I also know that a BFP doesn't guarantee a take home baby. It's just incredibly frustrating and makes me so sad." its hard to think i will ever have that same optimism i had with my previous pregnancy with any (hopefully) subsequent ones.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC last month with D&C
Status: WFAF i guess?
How are things going? meh. Just had my followup yesterday and am cleared to start trying again once i have my period. as exciting as that is, i might be more pumped this moment about getting to use tampons again since the spotting is just constant and annoying. So i guess im just annoyed at my circumstance right now, is there a stage of grief called "annoyance?!"
What is something that you are struggling with this week? i am anxious to get back on track.
What is going well for you this week? doing well with work and only cried once this week (during my appt yesterday) so thats good and definitely an improvement!
R/R? nothing too prominent, except i just had a disappointing lunch
Any testing coming up/any recent results? no tests done at the appt, which i thought was strange, but if i get my period in next few weeks im not going to question anything and just try to relax about everything.
GTKY: What is your favorite way to spend a cold, snowy day? netflix and nap! though i do enjoy catching up on chores because i always feel behind.
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: MMC Oct '19 followed by a D&C Dec. '19
Status: WTO
How are things going? Believe it or not, things are going really well. I attended a Suicide Intervention skills training the past few days, which is why I've been absent from the boards this week. It was really informative, even though I knew most of this stuff already from grad school.
What is something that you are struggling with this week? AF showed up on Sunday, which is good and bad. Good because I have my cycle back (yay!) but along with it came a lot of the PMS-y symptoms, so I've been on an emotional roller coaster. I was a major beyotch to MH on Sunday and while I regret my attitude, I don't regret the things I said because it was stuff that had been bothering me for a while and he needed a kick in the pants.
What is going well for you this week? As mentioned above, it's nice to have a regular menstrual cycle back. After my continuous post-MC bleeding the past few months, it was a relief to have a couple of weeks off and then have my cycle back in sync. And wanna hear something weird? So, prior to getting KU, my cycle usually followed the moon cycles, in that I'd get my period on or about the full moon and then ovulate around the new moon. And here I am, back to that same schedule. It's kind of endearing, and makes me feel magical. I'm such a dork!
R/R? MH had came down with the flu on New Year's eve (despite me nagging him to get his flu shot when I got mine), and that hung around for almost two weeks. Then, as soon as he's starting to feel well enough to function outside of laying on the couch, he threw out his back. I am so damn sick of playing nursemaid. But...this is what I signed up for, I guess.
Any testing coming up/any recent results? My doc would like us to begin IF testing if we don't get KU this cycle or the next, so that's coming up. She's already put in my labs for it, so she's leaving it up to me to decide when to start all that.
GTKY: What is your favorite way to spend a cold, snowy day? It kinda depends on what kind of a snowy day it is. If it's pleasant (sunny, not too windy or mucky) then I like to play in the snow a bit, build a snowman, etc, then go inside for some tomato soup & grilled cheese sandwiches and a nap. If it's yucky out, then I'll light a fire in the fireplace, make some tea or hot cocoa and curl up with my doggos and a good book.
Due with baby #2: Feb 2022
@ttcbabyodo Glad things are back to normal for you. That is so interesting about the moon cycle! I never thought about that before, I'll have to look back and see what my pattern is.
@dancingtreepose thanks for this! i will definitely be tuning into this once i finish up my current reading selection.
and re: wanting to tell people about mc-- we had told a good amount of our friends we were expecting, but since D&C, i have actually told a handful for the first time that we WERE pregnant subsequently had mc. it felt weirdly comforting to mention it, especially with the requisite "how were your holidays" conversations. for those i didnt mention to prior, it felt like an elephant in the room for me (even though they didn't know i was pregnant to begin with). it felt almost like a release and each time i have mentioned it, i have felt less and less upset and a little more confident, especially hearing the number of responses back that were "that happened to me/my sister/xx too." Hoping that if you choose to share it more openly as well that you find that same comfort!