Babies: 0 - 3 Months

if you have in laws a few hours away

how often are they visiting since you had the baby?

out of the 9 weekends my son has been in this world, i have seen my in laws 5 of them!

i am seriously getting sick of the high-maintenance! i know my MIL is excited, but honestly, back off! it's like any excuse to come she'll take just to see the baby...i don't exist...just the baby. they never visited unless we invited them up before...so maybe once or twice a year, and now this. she is extremely hyper and opinionated and means well but just gives advice i do not want 24/7...i feel like the baby is hers when she's around instead of mine. she literally makes me feel like a cow...she drops him off so i can feed him, then takes him away to burp and change him and i don't get him for another 2 or 3 hours when it's time to feed again. UGH sorry for the vent, but i can't stand this! how long is this going to go on?????? please someone tell me it will die down!

(oh and my mom and i are very close and she lives close by, so my dh would probably just justify this by saying my mom sees our son all the time).

Re: if you have in laws a few hours away

  • Limit the visits! Plus, if you want your baby, take him! Stand up for yourself!
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  • Thankfully DD makes grandchild #8 for Dh's parents.  They only live 30 minutes away and they've seen her maybe 5 times since her birth. 

    They love all the kids but I guess with 5 children and 8 grandkids it's not so important to see them all the time. 

    But, DD is my parent's first grandchild and they babysit her while I work half the time.

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  • you need to speak up and limit the visits. ?

    i've seen the IL's twice since Colin was born.... and they've stayed for extended visits. ?we'll see them again the first weekend of February, but it will just be for one night. ?after that, we'll see them for his baptism. ?it will probably average out to once a month. ?but i will say that whenever they visit, MIL just wants to shop. ?she's weird.

  • every.single.weekend....ugh
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  • imageMrs.McLovin:
    Limit the visits! Plus, if you want your baby, take him! Stand up for yourself!

    Ditto.  And tell them you have other plans (even if that means having family time alone) if they want to visit.  Set some boundaries.

  • it's so hard because it's the first gc on both sides of the family. my mom is here so she sees him alot and i'm at home with him so we can do that...

    but his mom is hours away and i don't care for her and she is constantly throwing out times/dates she can come...and my dh doesn't get it!!!!!!!!!!!

    i told him i didn't want her to think she can keep seeing him every few weeks, but he wanted to invite his little brother up for the weekend. instead of his brother driving up himself, lo and behold his mom is now bringing him instead so she can see the baby. the kid is 17, let him drive himself.

  • IL's live 1.5 hours away. They came to the hospital the night he was born (Monday) and then again that weekend (Sunday). That is IT. THANK GOD.

    It is actually pretty sad. My parents live 14 hours away and have seen DD and DS more than my IL's who live 1.5 hours away. I think the fact that they live so close and never come here irks me so much and has been the downfall of our relationship overall. Also, as soon as they know that my parents are coming down to visit, no fail they always want to come visit too. It annoys me to death.

  • I would limit them to once a month. Just act like you have plans or something. My mom was only up right after he was born and my MIL just spent a week with us. My MIL has threatened to come up one weekend a month but it doesn't bother me because she will get up with him at night and in the morning.
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    DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
    DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
  • This is the exact same situation I'm in with my IL's.  I would definitely try to set some boundaries.  I ended up turning into a freak and wouldn't let anyone hold my DD besides DH for almost a month.  I was almost hoarding her from my IL's.  Things are better now that I have stood up for myself.  Say something now - before you freak out like I did!
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