@jvk2012 I would like to see only our regulars if that's possible especially if/when I post a picture of my new baby I'm not positive on what the diffinition would be though ...
@jvk2012@misstree5 I would agree, though tbh I am unlikely to post any pictures of my baby while we are still on The Bump since they claim ownership to all photos shared on their forums. (this is also why I won't post pictures that show my face.) I think if someone regularly contributes to weekly check-ins, they can probably count as being a regular poster but that's just a thought.
@jvk2012 someone who actually posts in randoms or the group due date posts. Definitely not someone who only hits the love it button. I know people get busy but we’re all about to start sharing more and more information about ourselves.
We could do something that previous BMBs have done where they do a private group roll call and those who want to join will post and based on love-tits is essentially vetting them. Not sure if anyone else has other ideas?
I hate to be that person, but it's how my brain thinks. What's defined as regularly/how many posts? What's wrong with a high "love it"? I know sometimes as a FTM I've had nothing to contribute to a conversation, but appreciated someone else's experience. Or think that's good news but instead of clogging up the feed with a "congrats" post, I'll just hit "love it". Just my 2 cents
@rebornlotus@brookert615 The whole point of being on this board is to build community and support with fellow mamas. If someone hasn't been contributing enough by now to be recognized by those of us who post regularly, I personally would be uncomfortable having them in the private group since one can only assume things are about to get a whole lot more personal. The point of a private group is that it isn't open to randos, after all.
In my last BMB for the FB group it was something like if 3/4 admins knew who you were you got the ok to join and you have to maintain some level of activity or you get voted off the island so to speak
@rebornlotus There are still ways to participate as a FTM other than congratulations: asking questions or posting in the group threads.
Personally I like @kiwi2628's suggestion. I think that strikes a balance between being keeping out randos while still acknowledging that not everyone recognizes everyone else and different levels of participation.
I will say there is one person currently in the private group that may not belong. Otherwise I feel everyone else I personally recognize and has posted enough. However, if any members have questions on why someone was admitted, please feel free to contact one of the admins about your concerns.
I agree with the admin idea of 3/4 or even 2/4 needing to recognize a user name. I don’t think there necessarily needs to be a certain amount of participation just some quality in what’s being posted. When I was pregnant with ds1 I mostly lurked or hit love it and guess what I didn’t get invited to the private group. With ds2 I was a much more active participant and communicate daily with my May 18 ladies. I definitely didn’t know everyone and it takes time to get to that point. We still will call out people in our fb group who go mia for long stretches.
I'll be honest I haven't posted as much as I wanted to. I would like to be part of the private group but understand if it makes some people uncomfortable. Sometimes I found it hard to contribute because I couldn't relate to certain issues or just didn't have a lot of symptoms to comment about. I respect the group and the admins decision.
Me:37 MH:37
TTGP since 07/2017
**TW** in spoiler
DX: PCOS, anovulatory, AMA
Femara X3: no response
Clomid X3: BFN (cyst and thin lining)
IUI (Dec '18) MMC
IVF (April '19) 9 retrieved, 7 fertilized, 2 normal PGT-A
@rebornlotus I don't think she missed your point. Anybody can love tit. It doesn't get the board moving though and honestly, if you post very rarely, I'm not going to recognize your avatar in the love tits and I still won't know who you are.
Everyone can contribute. There are plenty of FTMs, myself included, who contribute a lot. There are threads specific to our pregnancies and some, the randoms, where you can talk about anything going on in your life. The point of this board is to exchange with people. If no one posts, not much is happening.
TTC#1 10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml) 11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged 1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele 4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery 6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020 Baby girl born 2/27/2020 7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
I know I don’t post a ton, mostly cause this app is so useless and I’m rarely every on the computer but I’d love to join. My Dec 2015 group changed my life so I’d like to keep up with you all. I think I’m waiting on approval but honesty I’m not even sure it went through 🤦🏼♀️
I wasn't going to bring it back up until after ritacup posted to argue with me that my point wasn't missed, but.....My point was asking about what would be an operational definition of "contributes". Meaning what exact number of posts? My point was what number is enough posts because sometimes people contribute with likes and less posts, but are still active. My point was missed because no one answered my post discussing numbers and focused on the likes part that I posted. I for one would say someone who contributed at least once every other week to posting would be active. The reason why I thought an operational def would work because then situations like doodleoodles wouldn't happen because it's not a subjective measure, but an objective one that people would know if they met the criteria or not.
@rebornlotus we tried the numbers game in my other BMB and it’s just too hard to manage sometimes. Especially when life happens and sometimes people who are super active need breaks or can’t be on as much. Of course someone could try to keep track of all that, but it’s a lot. I’m also on board with if you’re not recognizable by avatar/name then you probably don’t post enough. This is about having a Community where participation is important. You can’t just like people’s posts without also adding to discussions regularly (probably more than once every other week). That’s not adding to the community much. Nobody gets to know you if you just like things all the time. Just my 2 cents.
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
Harsh, but if you didn't have enough time to post in the public group, then where are you going to get the time to post in the private one? (It only gets harder once baby is born) plus in the private group, people are going to be more open to sharing (especially their birth experiences) and, personally, I don't want a lurker in that group, I want to see the faces and names of the people I have been talking with over the last 6-9 months
ETA: I'm not admin and it is up to them to decide who belongs in the private group. If they accept you in (whoever has applied to the group and is waiting) then welcome.
@rebornlotus we get it. What we've been trying to tell you is that love titing doesn't make you known to the board. This is a passive way to participate that doesn't bring much if that's all you do. You can give a gazillion love tits and we still wouldn't know who you are because you haven't participated as in you haven't replied to posts/asked questions/shared random stuff with us. I think everyone agrees that an active member in this community is someone we recognize because they post. Some people post more than others but if you post at least once a day, you will be known to this board.
TTC#1 10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml) 11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged 1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele 4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery 6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020 Baby girl born 2/27/2020 7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
Re: Private Group Discussion
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
Personally I like @kiwi2628's suggestion. I think that strikes a balance between being keeping out randos while still acknowledging that not everyone recognizes everyone else and different levels of participation.
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
Everyone can contribute. There are plenty of FTMs, myself included, who contribute a lot. There are threads specific to our pregnancies and some, the randoms, where you can talk about anything going on in your life. The point of this board is to exchange with people. If no one posts, not much is happening.
10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml)
11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged
1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele
4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery
6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020
7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
TTC #2
9/07/2021: BFP - CP: 9/10/2021
10/07/2021: BFP - CP: 10/23/2021
12/23/2021: BFP! EDD: 08/31/2022
Diagnosed with PCOS & Hashimoto's
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
ETA: I'm not admin and it is up to them to decide who belongs in the private group. If they accept you in (whoever has applied to the group and is waiting) then welcome.
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
I think everyone agrees that an active member in this community is someone we recognize because they post. Some people post more than others but if you post at least once a day, you will be known to this board.
10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml)
11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged
1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele
4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery
6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020
7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
TTC #2
9/07/2021: BFP - CP: 9/10/2021
10/07/2021: BFP - CP: 10/23/2021
12/23/2021: BFP! EDD: 08/31/2022