Fear of labor and death — The Bump
3rd Trimester

Fear of labor and death

I’m almost 17, this is my first child but I am terrified of labor and dying. I’m afraid I will have a heart issue or bleed to death. Any suggestions on how I should try to relax or how I can cope with this ?

Re: Fear of labor and death

  • I’m almost 17, this is my first child but I am terrified of labor and dying. I’m afraid I will have a heart issue or bleed to death. Any suggestions on how I should try to relax or how I can cope with this ?
    Maybe you really need to talk to your doctor and seek counseling.   
    stassischroederMalidocious[Deleted User]
  • Why are you concerned about a heart issue? Do you have a pre-existing condition?

    Postpartum hemorrhage does happen occasionally, but we catch it so quickly. It can be quickly remedied with uterine massage, some cytotec pills up your rectum, and a shot of methergine in your leg. Absolute worse case scenario, you’d have an emergency hysterectomy. I’ve only ever seen that once. No mom has ever died in my time working in a birthing center.

    So I guess my advice is to relax, knowing that your medical team knows what they are doing. Perhaps see a therapist.
    Malidociouskiki75[Deleted User]
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  • Think about how many babies are born in a day and you never hear about their births because, outside of that person’s immediate circle, the stories are completely unremarkable. As magical as my birth story was to me, it’s not something they’re about to put on the news. The ones you do hear about—where something goes wrong or the kid was born at 12:12 on 12/12 are by far the minority—so those are the only ones you hear about. There’s nothing to learn from my birth but there is something to learn from Serena Williams. 

    To an extent, it’s normal and good to be concerned and to consider the risks and how to mitigate them. Knowing about things like postpartum preeclampsia is good so you can recognize it if you do have one of those rare cases. 

    For me, preparation and knowing basically what to expect helps me. Do a hospital tour, take a birth class, and in the end, you put your trust in your team, but start getting comfortable with advocating for yourself in an effective manner. There’s scared and then there’s feeling in your bones that something is wrong. You’ll need the same skills for effectively communicating with doctors and advocating when your baby is here. 

    Talk to your doctor about your fears. They’ll be a great resource for reassurance about your specific risk factors and what their plans are for if something does go wrong.
        
    Me: 34 DH: 38
    Married: June 2011
    TTC since Feb 2016
    BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 
    BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
    BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
    wabash15[Deleted User]
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