FFFC 12/20

emeraldduchess · December 2019

Let's hear those confessions, ladies!
*Not guaranteed to be flame-free.

charmedlifex3 · December 2019

I really really thought we'd have a baby by now, and I am super bitter and pissed that we don't, coming up on our two year anniversary of TTC.

keikilove · December 2019

@the_road_to_oz Super valid to be super bitter & super pissed. Feeling the same over here. I’m sorry.

My FFFC is that I haven’t done any Christmas shopping!!!! And I don’t even want to. Flame away.😬

mvt2003 · December 2019

@keikilove No flames from me! I'm basically over the whole Christmas gifts racket. It's triggering all of my damn anxieties. MH had to take point on all of the gifts this year, including the few I normally handle.

inthewoods23 · December 2019

@keikilove I'm the same about giving gifts to certain people. Can I just not because I don't like them? I hate being in their presence and I loathe the idea of hearing their overly thankful responses to gifts "thanks this is so great. I really really appreciate this". Just bleh

@mvt2003 I got DH to do the gift shopping for his family. Sorry, I'm in the mood to not gift them anything after they felt so offended that we didn't mention we were getting new hedgehogs. I don't have to tell you my whole life for cripes sake. 😒🙄

mvt2003 · December 2019

@inthewoods23 In general, I feel like he should take point on it as a couple anyway, so good for you!!! MH has always taken the lead on his parents' gifts, he gets a gift for his brother, I get one for my SiL (instead of us exchanging gifts amongst the couples - BiL doesn't get me a gift, and MH doesn't get SiL a gift). We usually tag-team the LOs but for obvious reasons this year I wasn't feeling super into that. He basically sent me options to say yes or no to.

babyodo · December 2019

I usually go all-out for Christmas gifts every year, because I love showering those close to me so they know how much they mean to me (not expensive stuff, but usually unique stuff I know they like). Except this year. Between MH finishing school and subsequently starting a new career over the summer, our recent loss, and me finishing grad school last week, I'm just like...screw it. This is all you're getting:

emeraldduchess · December 2019

@the_road_to_oz you can sit next to me on the bitter bus. The thought of having to put on a smile and pretend I am ok on Christmas Eve/Christmas Day *TW* where I will be surrounded by LOs*end TW* makes me want to vomit. And break things. Also rip up Christmas cards. Which brings me to a late FFFC. The first year we sent out cards, we put a picture of our dog on it and people in DH's family made fun of us. We stopped sending holiday cards after that.

mvt2003 · December 2019

@emeraldduchess so many hugs, friend. I stopped sending cards the year my BiL made fun of our card with our dog on it too, so I’m with you. I haven’t opened a Christmas card in two years. I pile them up and leave them on the table. MH sometimes opens them up, sometimes I just throw them out. No regrets.

keeponknittingon · December 2019

@mvt2003 @emeraldduchess I’m so sorry your cards got laughed at. That’s awful. I would love to get a card with someone’s dog on it.

emeraldduchess · December 2019

@mvt2003 @keeponknittingon yeah, DH's family aren't really into pets. Very few have dogs or cats (or any pet besides a fish) so they probably don't see why we'd feature ours on our cards.

NYTino24 · December 2019

I think photo holiday cards are fine, but all family members should be included - like if it’s of a dog, the owners should be in it and same with kids and their parents.

emeraldduchess · December 2019

@NYTino24 my mom has VERY stromg feelings about photo Christmas cards. When I was in sixth grade the photo cards were really starting to take off. I asked my mom if we could do one and her response was, "Unless you're the Christ Child, you have no business being on a Christmas card." Yikes.

shoogapoff · December 2019

@emeraldduchess @mvt2003 WTF?! I am so angry at your families on your behalf. The only reason we haven't done that is because we have 2 dogs and 2 cats and I can't get my sh*t together enough to take a group photo.

NYTino24 · December 2019

@emeraldduchess I hope you send all of the picture cards.
@mvt2003 Too bad they don’t get to decide what you do. I would make cards for them for every holiday with your dog on it and sign every card with the dog’s name, too.

inthewoods23 · December 2019

During work this week and next week, HR gave permission for jeans/casual every day. Before the new year I have to work the 2 Mondays and at least for tomorrow I'm definitely planning on being extra casual with no bra. I've had enough of it these last 2 days. 😆

Inappropriate for work? Maybe a little, but I'll wear a hoodie on top so no one can tell.

mvt2003 · December 2019

@NYTino24 This is why you're amazing!

I absolutely should do that!

ssbl · December 2019

@inthewoods23 Casual = no bra. Everybody knows that.

FFCS TW pregnancy mentioned, and also long and ranty. Sorry.

My SIL is indeed pregnant; I saw her tonight for the first time in a few weeks, and I told her she can’t complain to me about her pregnancy symptoms. Does that make me a terrible person? I asked her how things are going and how she’s feeling, and she unleashed this tirade about her sore boobs and nausea and sweatiness and clothing not fitting. I love her and I’m excited for her and I listened to about all I could handle before I interrupted her and told her she could only complain to her other pregnant friends or mom friends about that stuff. When she looked confused I explained that I would be (and I know of other people who would be, aka you ladies) utterly effing grateful to deal with sore boobs and puking if it meant that I could be pregnant. All she did was smile and pat my arm and say that when I’m pregnant I’ll understand. I almost lost it, but instead I had a glass of wine and my 58284th cookie of the evening.

emeraldduchess · December 2019

@ssbl I'm sorry you had to deal with that patronizing arm-pat. So many people just don't get it. Screw all that "when you're pregnant/a mom, you'll understand" BS. DH's sister and cousin were complaining about "mom stuff" last night and I walked out of the room.

ssbl · December 2019

@emeraldduchess Self-preservation, girl. Thinking of you over these next extra difficult days. ❤️

emeraldduchess · December 2019

@ssbl I'm 99% sure I will be bailing on Christmas Eve now because I just can't handle it anymore.

charmedlifex3 · December 2019

I am a little crazy with the Christmas shopping. After running a photo studio in the mall for 7 years, I am usually done with Christmas by... Halloween. So I aim to have all my shopping done by Nov 1st, and just add little things for my immediate family. It worked out well since DH was out of work mid -october, and I was at that point basically done shopping.
@ssbl Oh she can complain. Just not to you.
@inthewoods23 I work from home every Monday. No bra Mondays for the win.
@emeraldduchess I sent picture cards, from a professional studio, with me and my cat. No regrets.

keeponknittingon · December 2019

@ssbl oh wow! Good on you for having restraint and not telling her off. Yikes. I’m sorry she reacted that way. She clearly has no idea what others go through. You are definitely not a terrible person for telling her she can’t complain to you. Setting boundaries is good. You did better than I did today... (TW for PG)

Saw my pregnant SIL and I could barely look at her, never mind talk to her. I was so on edge that someone was going to start talking about how great a new baby will be or someone else asking her questions that I wasn’t up for listening to. I’ll work up to being a good SIL and asking how she’s doing. Today was not that day...and probably not at Christmas either.

NYTino24 · December 2019

@ssbl Good for your for standing up for yourself!
@keeponknittingon It’s okay to feel the way you do. I like the idea of addressing it before it happens.

FFFC 12/20

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