This thread is for all things related to breast feeding, formula feeding, up to introducing solids. A well fed baby is a healthy baby. What works for one may or may not work for another. There are no wrong answers. Please share your experiences, questions, and advice. The goal here is to collect all the info we can so when our babies are born, if something isn’t working for us, we already have something else we may be able to try!
I’m going to put one big thing that changed my success from DS1 to DS2. DS1 had a milk protein sensitivity. It took us months to figure out. He projectile vomited, broke out in hives and choked a lot. I thought it was due to breastfeeding, so I stopped around the 6 week mark. We quickly found out that the same issues existed on formula and had to have him tested and eventually switched to a speciality formula. DS2 vomited a lot the first few weeks. I cut out dairy and that didn’t work, so I researched and found out caffeine and citrus are common irritants for newborns. I cut out both and we went on to nurse with no issues. So I only caution don’t give up if you have tummy issues. Know that newborns can be very sensitive to our diets and be prepared to eliminate things.
I have a lot of experience feeding preemies if anyone has to go down that path I’m happy to share my experience as it is a lot different than a full term baby.
In my experience, breastfeeding hurts at first. Like grind your teeth hurt. It last for a few days to week or so (or did for me) and you question how you can continue. Then you adjust and it's fine. Expect some discomfort and power through if breastfeeding is important for you. If the pain doesn't improve drastically, you may have other issues to deal with, so reach out to your local hospital for a consult with a lactation specialist.
Eta: baby should be getting enough to eat, even though you're uncomfortable. If not, please reach out sooner.
@rox7777 I hadn’t really thought about that. I know what we eat gets passed on to the babies somehow, which is why we must continue to watch any medications, alcohol, toxins we consume while BF but I hadn’t considered implications of overall diet and it causing sensitivity to the baby like that. I never would have thought me eating citrus could somehow make things less digestible for the baby for instance. This is good to know in the event of issues that I perhaps need to examine my overall diet.
@pirateduck Something I didn’t think about as a new mom either! I also didn’t have access to breastfeeding classes and whatnot because we were overseas on a fairly remote base at the time. There’s a lot out there about food sensitivities and what you might want to avoid in the early weeks. I advise reading through kellymom.com. Tons of great advice and little tidbits that can help you prepare.
Dairy, citrus and caffeine are the most common issues, but I’ve heard garlic, beans, gaseous vegetables like broccoli, etc can all have an impact.
Like @ruby696 said, Breastfeeding hurts in the beginning. You’ll probably have to get some stuff to help your nipples handle it, but it gets better!
I lost a lot of blood during labor (just under the amount to need a transfusion) and I have PCOS so getting my milk to come in wasn’t easy. DD went to the NICU for blood sugar issues and I was determined to breastfeed. I pumped, I hand expressed, I spent majority of my 24 hour recovery in the NICU nursing her whenever I could to try and stimulate something.
Since I didn’t have anything actually coming out, our angel nurse Susan showed us how to formula feed through a tube while she was still latched onto my boob. This saved us. We didn’t use a SNS, but instead had the tube connected to the syringe. When we started, DH would have to slowly push in the formula for her to eat as she went through the motions of nursing. Eventually, as she got stronger, she was able to pulled the syringe herself (which made me cry because I was so proud that she was getting stronger and latching better).
After about 10 days to two weeks of feeding like this every 2.5 hours and pumping for 45 minutes after, my milk finally came in! Since I was going to go back to work and wanted a freezer stash, even when we didn’t have to use formula anymore, I still pumped after every feed to freeze.
After those first few weeks of blood sugar issues, many weighted feeds, only 30 minute increments of sleep, and blood, sweat, and tears, we had an amazing breastfeeding journey. I went back to work at 9 weeks PP but was able to keep my supply strong. DD stopped nursing on her own at 8 months but I kept pumping and was able to feed breastmilk through her first year (which was my goal).
TLDR: rough breastfeeding start, but I put in the time and effort and it became glorious!
I’ll agree that it hurts at first. One thing that was recommended to me was to sleep topless for the last month or so of pregnancy to start preparing your nipples. I don’t know if it helped, but it can’t hurt.
The following is my experience. My daughter never had formula, and I nursed until she was just over 2. I also worked full time starting when she was 10 weeks. She had a tongue tie clipped at about 2 weeks. I had a good supply. My milk came in on day 3. She had a shallow latch but we worked through it.
I pumped for every missed feed. This is the most important thing to maintaining supply, IMO. For me it meant doing every single night feeding and not being apprehensive about breastfeeding in public.
I didn’t start pumping until 4-5 weeks.
Once you start giving a bottle, do one every day even if you don’t “need” to. I got lazy near the end of maternity leave and it was rough.
Check and see if your hospital or any in your area have a weekly breastfeeding group. Usually you don’t have to have delivered at that hospital to go.
DD #1: April 2017 DD #2: May 2020 Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
I had to pump after each feed and feed every 2 hours around the clock for the first week or two. The initial latching was what hurt me the most. I loved earth mama nipple butter highly recommend that. And loved the haakaa because I leaked from the other boob a lot. With the haakaa I saved more than 100 oz in the 3 ish months of maternity leave. I only used it when at home and normally just the morning feedings especially those in the wee hours of the morning. With that said I did find a lot of that milk is "foremilk" and when we went back to work we had many a green poop which was scary. I also hated the feeling of being constantly wet and found nipple shells allowed for some dryer feelings. At home I wouldn't put in breast pads because the air felt better and I allowed myself to leak and smell like cheese all summer. (dd is a may baby too).
My DS never was able to latch correctly, we tried nipple shields and all that fun jazz with the help of a LC. After about two weeks we went to pumping and supplementing him with formula as I was not producing enough to keep him full and happy. I highly suggest talking to a LC, they are wonderful and even when I was heartbroken about not being able to get breastfeeding down, she was the first to remind me that a fed baby is better than pushing something that’s not working for us. There was never really any reason we could figure out about his latch issue. But anyways if anyone has pumping questions let me know, I pumped every 2 hours for months.
Nursing was extremely painful for me and my nipples were an absolute wreck. Turns out that is not normal. DS had a tongue tie and was unable to latch properly. However, once we got that clipped and my nipples had healed, it was smooth sailing... Until teeth were involved and the biting started.
I had a massive bitch of a time breastfeeding the first time around. Unfortunately a lot of the help I got wasn’t *great* help either. By 5 weeks (and after demanding a referral from my baby’s doctor after he brushed me off for the umpteenth time) I ended up at the famous Dr Newman’s clinic where the LCs finally acknowledged the problems. Baby had a slight tongue tie and everyone else had said it “should be fine”. My nipples were literally ripped, it was not fine! it took several weeks after we had her tongue tie clipped to heal but then she was feeding much better.
Breastfeeding is not *supposed* to hurt. It’s really hard to get a perfect latch with a newborn though.
I also want to mention, that LC are fantastic BUT every once in awhile you’ll meet one that doesn’t jive with you. Don’t let that one throw off your journey!
for example, I had a LC tell me that my low supply/production was because I wasn’t nursing enough—I was doing every 2.5 hours for ~30-45 minutes per side and then pumping for 45 minutes after. She said that there are African tribes that nurse 50 times per day or just wear their babies all day and keep them latched almost all day. Well.... that didn’t fit my life. And I’m blessed to have access to formula in order to adjust my feeding needs/demands to what fit my life until my supply came in. Needless to say, I didn’t see that lady again haha.
Agreed with @mokay19. Some LCs are a little too gung-ho about "nursing will work no matter what obstacles come your way" which just simply isn't true for everyone. Some people have latch issues that can't be overcome. Some people have supply issues no matter how much they nurse or pump. Some women get severe PPD and need to be hospitalized. The list goes on. There is NO reason in today's day and age that your baby needs to starve. I was guilted into "breastfeed no matter what" when DS was born, and we ended up having to take him to the doctor every single day for about 2 weeks after he was born because his suck-swallow reflexes were all off and he lost too much weight. I finally broke down crying to one of the LCs who was also an RN, and she was so wonderful and showed me how to bottle feed him while helping to hold his cheeks and chin so he could figure out sucking and swallowing. I exclusively pumped for about 3 weeks and continued to see her (and only her) to work on his nursing latch (with a nipple shield). He finally figured out latching 2 days before MH went back to work. If he hadn't, then I probably would have had to switch to formula because I couldn't exclusively pump and bottle feed with a colicky baby without MH there to feed him while I pumped. This time around, I hope to not go through all of that by not stubbornly resisting formula supplementation early if we need it.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
And keep in mind that formula has been contrived by nutritionists after many studies on what babies needs are so that it is produced to meet those needs efficiently. Formula fed babies are getting their nutritional needs met in full at every feeding. It will never vary, say for example, with the diet or health of the mother. It is an extremely healthy alternative and if the parents are the ones doing the feeding exclusively the bonding is still happening. I think that the impacts of bottle feeding on bonding come from the fact that any person can give the bottle so feeding is no longer exclusively a mother baby activity, but arguably this could strengthen the bond with baby and other care providers. It’s what allows us to have daycare etc, so not necessarily a bad thing depending on your lifestyle.
With my first baby, my initial breastfeeding experience was horrible for the first 2 weeks. It hurt SO BAD. My nipples were bloody and bruised. I would actually start crying when I heard the baby cry knowing I would have to breastfeed him. I was hanging in there because everyone told me it would get better. I made my husband go out and buy me a nipple shield and that was my lifesaver. With the nipple shield, breastfeeding still hurt, but not nearly as bad as before. It allowed my nipples to heal and after that I did not have any pain.
Also, there were a few occasions early on that I had to leave the baby with my mom while I went to a wedding, funeral, bridal shower (gone several hours or more.) I thought I could have the best of both worlds by just having my mom feed him formula while I was gone. Big mistake! Not only did that make me super engorged and uncomfortable (I didn’t pump), but since it was early on, it really decreased my supply. I tried pumping after feeding to increase my supply, but it didn’t work. So I ended up breastfeeding him and then topping him off with formula until my supply eventually dried up. I breastfed him for about 6 months, but that was mixed with formula. With my 2nd, I learned from all of my mistakes and ended up breastfeeding her for almost 2 years!
Breastfeeding should be easy (and can be!), but it also can be very difficult.
I don't remember if anyone mentioned this but if you want to breastfeed I would recommend taking a lactation course or at least reading a nursing book. The more knowledge you have the better. Be aware of your nipples and if you think you could have trouble - before I started nursing DS I had an inny on the left side so obviously was worried about latch on that side. I used a shield on the left for a few weeks and nothing on the right. It worked for us and got us through the initial newborn phase until he was a little stronger and his mouth was a little bigger. LC's tend to poo poo shields, FYI. Thanks to him it's now an outty for life. I also had an oversupply so he had lots of green poop issues. Block feeding helped us. DS just self-weaned a few weeks ago because I don't think he liked the taste of colostrum.
I just wanted to reiterate that fed is best!! I BF DS1 for 4 months, worked through bleeding nipples and thrush multiple times. With DS2, hard as I could i coudln't get rid of a fore/hindmilk imbalance that caused him massive amounts of gas & tummy aches (I had an over supply and it was nearly impossible for him to get the hind milk after block feeding, pumping, and anything else I did). I tried diet changes, reflux meds (per dr recommendation because of the vomiting), pretty much everything. He spent weeks 4-11 crying sooooo much and broke my heart. The DAY I gave up and changed him to formula he was a different child, and I felt like I could finally breath and wasn't stuck at home for fear of a screamfest anywhere we went.
This is all to say, find what works for you. Don't force something if it's not working. Your mental health is so important those first few months and FED is best.
This time around, I'm taking it day by day. I'm fully prepared to provide colostrum for the first 2 days and introduce the bottle as early as day 2 if I want. I'm going to do what's best for my baby, me, and my family. There will be LOTS and LOTS of discussion about this during pregnancy and after if/when we transition to a different platform, and it's so important we all feel supported no matter what decision you make!!
I also want to say that no matter what we tell you here, you will not necessarily be of sound, reasonable mind immediately after giving birth. I knew going into it that "fed is best" (hell, I was formula fed, myself) but that still didn't stop me from having an enormous amount of guilt that I was failing at breastfeeding early on. I was my own worst enemy there, but it didn't help that the breastfeeding class I went to basically told me I could breastfeed no matter what. The pro-breast movement is wonderful, but it can also put so much pressure on a new mom. I hope to have a clearer mind going in this time around.
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
@shamrocandroll I agree so much with what you said. I'm really trying to prep myself that with twins, it might be easier to FF. I'll try BFing and I'll do it as long as I can, but I have two other young kids to worry about and I can't kill myself obsessing over BFing. Easier said than done, but I'm really trying to be open minded.
I chose not to BF at all. I have issues with my breasts, and while technically they could have been dealt with, just the thought of breastfeeding caused so much anxiety that I chose to prioritize my mental and emotional health. It was ultimately what was in the best interest of myself and each baby.
My advice is to do what is right for you and resist guilt/pressure/shame, no matter your choice. If you need help, get it. If you have to bounce around to a few LCs to find a good fit, do it. If you have to make big adjustments to make BFing work and are willing/able to, go for it. If it's too much, there is no shame in saying, "This isn't working for us" and moving on to formula.
Sometimes BF is just not going to work out! When DD was born, they put her on my chest 45 min after birth (she was a planned C) and said “she might latch, she might not, let’s see what she does”...she army crawled up and immediately latched. I BFed for 3 weeks even though her latch was so strong that I bled every time, and she was a 9lber so she was eating every hour. After 3 weeks I gave it up and went to exclusively pumping and supplementing with formula. I was happier, she didn’t care, and with this one I will probably do the same if he has a latch like she did. My nipples still hurt 4.5 years after the fact just thinking about it.
I'm sure this will be a product spotlight eventually, but any advice on what to look for in a pump? For those that may not know, most medical insurance in the US should cover a breast pump, this is related to the ACA I believe. You'll have to talk to your insurance to see how it works specifically, like do they limit the brand, do you have to order from a certain vendor, do you have to pay up front and get reimbursed, etc.? I'm just wondering what makes a good breast pump in the general sense?
I was so set on BF with DD. My mom had BF me and my brother, I watched my aunts, cousins and friends do it so when people on my last BMB talked about how hard it might be I just poo pooed that away as something that wouldn’t happen to me HAHAHA!!! I have flat nipples which I don’t know if that was any of the issue but I’m sure it didn’t help anything. DD seemed to latch ok I’m the hospital but chunks were missing from my nipples within a few days. I would literally scream and make MH let me squeeze or bite his hand when she latched because it was excruciating pain. I’m sure DD felt how tense I was which probably didn’t help. I tried a nipple shield and multiple trips to the LC. They said her latch was fine but finally did a weighted feed and realized she wasn’t getting enough because she wasn’t transferring effectively. The LC helped me realize that all babies are different when she told me she struggled with one of hers but the other child basically taught herself and did all the work. It sounds horrible but it helped me to realize I wasn’t failing but DD wasn’t living up to her end (I’m a bad mom, I know lol) I decided to pump for a bit to let my nipples heal while I tried to get her to latch some on occasion. She would literally scream when she saw my boob so finally we gave up even trying to latch after a month or two. I had a low supply but was able to provide her about 80-90% of her milk and supplemented with formula. I exclusively pumped around the clock until around 9 months. I hated living on a schedule and having pumping dictate my life. I don’t know if I can be as committed to pumping with DD2 with a toddler running around so I’m just hoping we are able to make breastfeeding work otherwise she’ll probably switch to formula within a couple months.
I EBF both of my kids. The first for 20 months and the second for about 16. I worked full time and pumped at work, but there were definitely some low points. I experienced a lot of pain at initial latch with DD that would last about 10 seconds into the feeding, but eventually went away. With both kids, I experienced a painful let down, which never really went away but was tolerable. The lowest point hit around 5-6 weeks. At that point with DD I spent only 2 days exclusively pumping due to some latch issues and cried to DH that if I couldn’t get it figured out we would have to formula feed because EPing is so hard. Major props to you moms who have done it for long periods of time! The biggest support for me during the hard points came from a friend who was nursing her slightly older infant. She provided a lot of encouragement, and my first BMB provided some of the best advice I’ve ever received; never quit on a bad day.
@pirateduck LOL! Let me know if you find out. DS2 would have kept going even at 2.5 if I had let him. We finally stopped because I was emotionally and mentally done. I had been for a while if I’m honest, but I finally just had enough. I think for most extended nursing moms it’s usually just a “okay, I’m ready to move on” thing. Some babies decide when they’re ready, be it refusing to nurse, biting, or just cutting down on sessions.
@pirateduck if your goal is to make it to 1, then anytime after that when you feel tired of it. I weaned my daughter around 2. I recommend taking a 3-4 day trip away, that's what I did in April and she was done nursing by early May. I started dropping sessions and moved to "don't offer, don't refuse." Finally she stopped asking.
DD #1: April 2017 DD #2: May 2020 Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
@pirateduck with my DD, she just stopped showing interest and stopped pulling out enough milk because she preferred the bottle and being able to look around. I had gone back to work at 9 weeks so her nursing had been quite limited during the work week and weekends she just kind of stopped caring for it 🤷🏻♀️
Some kids get really attached to the boob and want it though so it’s different for every kid and every mom.
Sorry it took me a bit to get to this thread. This subject can be pretty triggering for me with my experience so I generally have to be in the right mind set. I also have a lot to cover as I try to speak out for those of us who fall in the 5% who cannot breastfeed (I think the percentage is actually higher than that). If anyone has any questions for me do not hesitate to ask at any point. I have learned so much over my journey and want to share and help however I can.
If you have no breast changes in pregnancy that is not normal. It can be a sign that you may have breastfeeding supply issues. In particular this can be a sign of mammary hypoplasia/IGT (insufficient glandular tissue), which can be hereditary.
IGT does not mean you have small breasts, they can be any size and depending on how much tissue you have, people can produce various amounts. There is a huge difference between fat tissue and glandular tissue. I have very small, wide spaced breasts, while my mom has really, really large tubular breasts. Both fall under the category of IGT and we both had troubles with lack of supply.
Hormonal imbalances can cause breastfeeding issues and low supply. Things such as insulin resistance, PCOS, thyroid issues, prolactin issues, diabetes (any form), and much much more. Although having these issues does not always mean there will be an issue.
Oral ties (tongue and lip) can effect your breastfeeding journey so much. Even minor ones. It also can cause issues for the child or adult later in life. I almost had to have mine clipped when I got braces and a lip tie is the reason I had a gap in my two front teeth and need a permanent metal piece to hold them together. DH almost had to go to speech classes, and I honestly think his is so bad it should be revised as an adult. It can also cause headaches and poor posture. There are a ton of other small things that can be because of ties. Tie's can be partially hereditary, so if you our YH has one, your child is more likely to have one. Laser treatment (usually by a dentist) is far superior to getting them clipped. Mouth and tissue exercises are super important after revisions.
Tips for formula feeding
Make sure you get the lowest flow nipple you can in the beginning. I used Dr. Browns which come with size 1, I ordered a premie nipple for the beginning.
You will have to try out different bottles to see what works.
People generally overfeed when formula feeding. Pace feeding and really paying attention to your babies cues can be super helpful.
The Dr. Brown's formula pitcher was amazing! You have to make sure not to bring the thing up too high or you get bubbles. Bubbles can give the baby gas.
Try out room temp and cold milk before offering warmed milk. We did with DD and she was fine with it, so we never had to warm bottles.
You probably will have to try out different formulas to figure out what works, and you may have to change a few times as baby grows too.
There is no nutritional difference between name brand and generic. However there is a difference in how much the proteins are broken down. You can actually physically see it, Generics are more yellow and larger powder/granules, name brand are a bit more white and more powdery. DD got horribly constipated by generic brands because of this, name brands she still was constipated but not nearly as bad. We did have to do a suppository a few times.
Sign up for the free samples and coupon/checks. Also people post them on FB to give away to those who need them too.
As for my story. I will put it in a spoiler because it will probably be long. Also just a general TW and TMI warning. Also I want to put a disclaimer that I am in the 5-15% of people that have severe issues, my experience is not typical.
I had a uncomplicated vaginal delivery (see birth story thread) on a Sunday night. I used the hospital pump and hand expressed in the hospital and the LC (Lactation Consultant) came in to help me a few times. I really didn't get much in the hospital, but that was expected since it is just colostrum at that point. It was determined that DD had a minor tongue tie and since DH and I had issues we should get it revised.
I went home on Tuesday afternoon and my milk still had not come in. I was feeding constantly. She BF for about an hour total (that is too long) each time, and my nipples were sore and cracked. I called the nurse hotline so many times, I was always told to keep breastfeeding, power pump, and hand express. Specifically I was told every time "DO NOT GIVE FORMULA, it will mess up your supply" In hindsight this was really bad advice.
Wednesday (3 days old) we went and got the tongue tie clipped. Breastfeeding felt so much better instantly. They had me feed right after the clipping. It made a huge difference in nipple pain and latch. That evening I got super sick (shitting and vomiting, mostly shitting), I thought it was food poisoning. Once again constantly BF, power pumping, hand expressing. The whole process taking almost 3 hours and then starting it all over again right away. I was sleep deprived and exhausted, DH was mean to me because he just wanted to give formula but all the nurses said not to. I borrowed a scale and DD weight was not changing with feeds. I was drinking teas, eating oatmeal, drinking water, ALL THE THINGS. Nothing was helping, my milk still had not "come in". That evening I was still sick and DD was not producing wet or dirty diapers and her lips were extremely chapped. We went to the ER, they said she was slightly dehydrated and gave her a little formula.
Thursday-Sunday (4-7 days old) and still doing the BF, pumping, expressing thing. Nurses still saying not to give formula. All of these issues still at play... oh and I was still deathly sick. I lost all of my baby weight from Wednesday to Friday by shitting out water basically and I got a rash on my legs because the hair follicles were angry from the drastic quick change. Nurses never mentioned coming in and getting checked out. DH then got whatever I got over the weekend. My milk still had not "come in". The most I had ever gotten in a whole entire day was 1 oz.
Monday (8 days old) I finally had an appointment with a LC and still no supply. She did a weighted feed and observed me. She also asked me questions about my breasts during puberty and pregnancy and my mothers experience. No changes and my mom had issues too. Everything we were doing was "perfect" the latch, the hold, everything. DD was not gaining anything after feeds on each breast. She was realistic with me and said that "I don't have the right kind of tissue" and need to supplement her food completely. She said I could continue to breastfeed for bonding and comfort if I wanted. At the time I was super thankful that she was compassionate but realistic. I decided to exclusively formula feed from then on and getting rid of my "milk" was no big deal since I didn't have any. I took some ibuprofen for a couple days and then I was completely fine.
In hindsight, all of the medical professionals were not educated enough and I did not know enough to be my own advocate. I had done a breastfeeding class in pregnancy and they never mentioned the possibility of things not working out. No one ever suggested any kind of testing on me to figure out what was going on. After all of my research over the last 3 years (in preparation for #2) I believe I had a combination of IGT and hormonal imbalance. I had GD and I ended up with undiagnosed postpartum thyroiditis. I also think whatever bug I got played a huge roll in my lack of supply. I am hopeful that I can produce a bit more this time around especially because most of the issues I had are treatable with diet, lifestyle, sleep, supplements, and medication. However, IGT is not. You do grow more tissue with each pregnancy and since I had all of the other factors I really do not know how much IGT played a roll in the lack of production. So this time around I am trying to be more proactive, get my medical team on board for testing after birth if I have issues. I am also looking into IBCLC's that specialize in these chronic low supply issues that I can maybe work with virtually during pregnancy and after.
@m6agua Thank you for sharing your story. It’s so important to hear all the possibilities of what can go wrong in the hopes that it will help to empower others to be more informed. I’m sorry you had such a tough first week and I’m hopeful this time around will be a better experience for you and baby.
In addition to @m6agua story (thanks for sharing!), I have a friend that has IGT and gets donor milk. Since she know she has this congenital issue, she starts stocking up before even giving birth. So if you’re still interested in breastmilk, you can look into that option. Some hospitals offer donor milk or formula in the NICU when needed. I’m not saying that formula is wrong or bad (we supplemented, too) but there are breastmilk options out there if it something that you’re interested in pursuing!
@m6agua Thank you for sharing your story and I'm so sorry about that experience! I'm angry on your behalf that your nurses let it go that long without your milk coming in. That is not normal and should have set off some alarms! I'm glad you were able to figure it out, and I hope your experience this time is 100x better, knowing what you know now!
**TW**
Me: 35 | H: 40 Married Sept. 2013 DS1: Nov 11, 2016 MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d) CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d) BFP! 8/24/19 DS2: May 10, 2020
I focused mostly on early breastfeeding in my previous comment, so I'm going to elaborate on being a working mom who EBFs here.
I would nurse at wake up around 7. We would leave the house around 7:45. Then I would pump around 10, 12:30, and 2:30. I pumped for 20 minutes and the whole thing would take about 30 minutes each time. I often watched Netflix on my phone while doing it (my job was pretty boring, I didn't have work to be doing during those times). I picked my daughter up around 5:15, we would be home by 5:30 and I would nurse again then. At some point we dropped that early evening nursing session.
At first she had three four-once bottles per day, so I'd send 12 ounces and would be away from her for about 10 hours. At some point daycare wanted her to have more so I sent three five-ounce bottles. Many LCs recommend 1-1.5 ounces of BM for every hour you're away from baby.
I HIGHLY recommend keeping a pump at work and just schlepping your parts to and from (if you have time/space to wash them well at work, you could leave parts there too). Honestly it's worth the $150 to buy a spectra S2 OOP to keep one at home and one at work if you will be EBF for a year. Also keep a full set of spare parts in your desk drawer or a hand pump. You will forget your parts one day.
DD #1: April 2017 DD #2: May 2020 Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
Re: Feeding
in hives and choked a lot. I thought it was due to breastfeeding, so I stopped around the 6 week mark. We quickly found out that the same issues existed on formula and had to have him tested and eventually switched to a speciality formula. DS2 vomited a lot the first few weeks. I cut out dairy and that didn’t work, so I researched and found out caffeine and citrus are common irritants for newborns. I cut out both and we went on to nurse with no issues. So I only caution don’t give up if you have tummy issues. Know that newborns can be very sensitive to our diets and be prepared to eliminate things.
I’m sure it will be well traveled
Eta: baby should be getting enough to eat, even though you're uncomfortable. If not, please reach out sooner.
I lost a lot of blood during labor (just under the amount to need a transfusion) and I have PCOS so getting my milk to come in wasn’t easy. DD went to the NICU for blood sugar issues and I was determined to breastfeed. I pumped, I hand expressed, I spent majority of my 24 hour recovery in the NICU nursing her whenever I could to try and stimulate something.
After about 10 days to two weeks of feeding like this every 2.5 hours and pumping for 45 minutes after, my milk finally came in! Since I was going to go back to work and wanted a freezer stash, even when we didn’t have to use formula anymore, I still pumped after every feed to freeze.
After those first few weeks of blood sugar issues, many weighted feeds, only 30 minute increments of sleep, and blood, sweat, and tears, we had an amazing breastfeeding journey. I went back to work at 9 weeks PP but was able to keep my supply strong. DD stopped nursing on her own at 8 months but I kept pumping and was able to feed breastmilk through her first year (which was my goal).
TLDR: rough breastfeeding start, but I put in the time and effort and it became glorious!
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
Breastfeeding is not *supposed* to hurt. It’s really hard to get a perfect latch with a newborn though.
for example, I had a LC tell me that my low supply/production was because I wasn’t nursing enough—I was doing every 2.5 hours for ~30-45 minutes per side and then pumping for 45 minutes after. She said that there are African tribes that nurse 50 times per day or just wear their babies all day and keep them latched almost all day. Well.... that didn’t fit my life. And I’m blessed to have access to formula in order to adjust my feeding needs/demands to what fit my life until my supply came in. Needless to say, I didn’t see that lady again haha.
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
This is all to say, find what works for you. Don't force something if it's not working. Your mental health is so important those first few months and FED is best.
This time around, I'm taking it day by day. I'm fully prepared to provide colostrum for the first 2 days and introduce the bottle as early as day 2 if I want. I'm going to do what's best for my baby, me, and my family. There will be LOTS and LOTS of discussion about this during pregnancy and after if/when we transition to a different platform, and it's so important we all feel supported no matter what decision you make!!
(edit: typo)
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
My advice is to do what is right for you and resist guilt/pressure/shame, no matter your choice. If you need help, get it. If you have to bounce around to a few LCs to find a good fit, do it. If you have to make big adjustments to make BFing work and are willing/able to, go for it. If it's too much, there is no shame in saying, "This isn't working for us" and moving on to formula.
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019FTM
BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
- If you have no breast changes in pregnancy that is not normal. It can be a sign that you may have breastfeeding supply issues. In particular this can be a sign of mammary hypoplasia/IGT (insufficient glandular tissue), which can be hereditary.
- IGT does not mean you have small breasts, they can be any size and depending on how much tissue you have, people can produce various amounts. There is a huge difference between fat tissue and glandular tissue. I have very small, wide spaced breasts, while my mom has really, really large tubular breasts. Both fall under the category of IGT and we both had troubles with lack of supply.
- Hormonal imbalances can cause breastfeeding issues and low supply. Things such as insulin resistance, PCOS, thyroid issues, prolactin issues, diabetes (any form), and much much more. Although having these issues does not always mean there will be an issue.
- Oral ties (tongue and lip) can effect your breastfeeding journey so much. Even minor ones. It also can cause issues for the child or adult later in life. I almost had to have mine clipped when I got braces and a lip tie is the reason I had a gap in my two front teeth and need a permanent metal piece to hold them together. DH almost had to go to speech classes, and I honestly think his is so bad it should be revised as an adult. It can also cause headaches and poor posture. There are a ton of other small things that can be because of ties. Tie's can be partially hereditary, so if you our YH has one, your child is more likely to have one. Laser treatment (usually by a dentist) is far superior to getting them clipped. Mouth and tissue exercises are super important after revisions.
Tips for formula feeding- Make sure you get the lowest flow nipple you can in the beginning. I used Dr. Browns which come with size 1, I ordered a premie nipple for the beginning.
- You will have to try out different bottles to see what works.
- People generally overfeed when formula feeding. Pace feeding and really paying attention to your babies cues can be super helpful.
- The Dr. Brown's formula pitcher was amazing! You have to make sure not to bring the thing up too high or you get bubbles. Bubbles can give the baby gas.
- Try out room temp and cold milk before offering warmed milk. We did with DD and she was fine with it, so we never had to warm bottles.
- You probably will have to try out different formulas to figure out what works, and you may have to change a few times as baby grows too.
- There is no nutritional difference between name brand and generic. However there is a difference in how much the proteins are broken down. You can actually physically see it, Generics are more yellow and larger powder/granules, name brand are a bit more white and more powdery. DD got horribly constipated by generic brands because of this, name brands she still was constipated but not nearly as bad. We did have to do a suppository a few times.
- Sign up for the free samples and coupon/checks. Also people post them on FB to give away to those who need them too.
As for my story. I will put it in a spoiler because it will probably be long. Also just a general TW and TMI warning. Also I want to put a disclaimer that I am in the 5-15% of people that have severe issues, my experience is not typical.I had a uncomplicated vaginal delivery (see birth story thread) on a Sunday night. I used the hospital pump and hand expressed in the hospital and the LC (Lactation Consultant) came in to help me a few times. I really didn't get much in the hospital, but that was expected since it is just colostrum at that point. It was determined that DD had a minor tongue tie and since DH and I had issues we should get it revised.
I went home on Tuesday afternoon and my milk still had not come in. I was feeding constantly. She BF for about an hour total (that is too long) each time, and my nipples were sore and cracked. I called the nurse hotline so many times, I was always told to keep breastfeeding, power pump, and hand express. Specifically I was told every time "DO NOT GIVE FORMULA, it will mess up your supply" In hindsight this was really bad advice.
Wednesday (3 days old) we went and got the tongue tie clipped. Breastfeeding felt so much better instantly. They had me feed right after the clipping. It made a huge difference in nipple pain and latch. That evening I got super sick (shitting and vomiting, mostly shitting), I thought it was food poisoning. Once again constantly BF, power pumping, hand expressing. The whole process taking almost 3 hours and then starting it all over again right away. I was sleep deprived and exhausted, DH was mean to me because he just wanted to give formula but all the nurses said not to. I borrowed a scale and DD weight was not changing with feeds. I was drinking teas, eating oatmeal, drinking water, ALL THE THINGS. Nothing was helping, my milk still had not "come in". That evening I was still sick and DD was not producing wet or dirty diapers and her lips were extremely chapped. We went to the ER, they said she was slightly dehydrated and gave her a little formula.
Thursday-Sunday (4-7 days old) and still doing the BF, pumping, expressing thing. Nurses still saying not to give formula. All of these issues still at play... oh and I was still deathly sick. I lost all of my baby weight from Wednesday to Friday by shitting out water basically and I got a rash on my legs because the hair follicles were angry from the drastic quick change. Nurses never mentioned coming in and getting checked out. DH then got whatever I got over the weekend. My milk still had not "come in". The most I had ever gotten in a whole entire day was 1 oz.
Monday (8 days old) I finally had an appointment with a LC and still no supply. She did a weighted feed and observed me. She also asked me questions about my breasts during puberty and pregnancy and my mothers experience. No changes and my mom had issues too. Everything we were doing was "perfect" the latch, the hold, everything. DD was not gaining anything after feeds on each breast. She was realistic with me and said that "I don't have the right kind of tissue" and need to supplement her food completely. She said I could continue to breastfeed for bonding and comfort if I wanted. At the time I was super thankful that she was compassionate but realistic. I decided to exclusively formula feed from then on and getting rid of my "milk" was no big deal since I didn't have any. I took some ibuprofen for a couple days and then I was completely fine.
In hindsight, all of the medical professionals were not educated enough and I did not know enough to be my own advocate. I had done a breastfeeding class in pregnancy and they never mentioned the possibility of things not working out. No one ever suggested any kind of testing on me to figure out what was going on. After all of my research over the last 3 years (in preparation for #2) I believe I had a combination of IGT and hormonal imbalance. I had GD and I ended up with undiagnosed postpartum thyroiditis. I also think whatever bug I got played a huge roll in my lack of supply. I am hopeful that I can produce a bit more this time around especially because most of the issues I had are treatable with diet, lifestyle, sleep, supplements, and medication. However, IGT is not. You do grow more tissue with each pregnancy and since I had all of the other factors I really do not know how much IGT played a roll in the lack of production. So this time around I am trying to be more proactive, get my medical team on board for testing after birth if I have issues. I am also looking into IBCLC's that specialize in these chronic low supply issues that I can maybe work with virtually during pregnancy and after.
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019I’m not saying that formula is wrong or bad (we supplemented, too) but there are breastmilk options out there if it something that you’re interested in pursuing!
Married Sept. 2013
DS1: Nov 11, 2016
MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
BFP! 8/24/19
DS2: May 10, 2020
I would nurse at wake up around 7. We would leave the house around 7:45. Then I would pump around 10, 12:30, and 2:30. I pumped for 20 minutes and the whole thing would take about 30 minutes each time. I often watched Netflix on my phone while doing it (my job was pretty boring, I didn't have work to be doing during those times). I picked my daughter up around 5:15, we would be home by 5:30 and I would nurse again then. At some point we dropped that early evening nursing session.
At first she had three four-once bottles per day, so I'd send 12 ounces and would be away from her for about 10 hours. At some point daycare wanted her to have more so I sent three five-ounce bottles. Many LCs recommend 1-1.5 ounces of BM for every hour you're away from baby.
I HIGHLY recommend keeping a pump at work and just schlepping your parts to and from (if you have time/space to wash them well at work, you could leave parts there too). Honestly it's worth the $150 to buy a spectra S2 OOP to keep one at home and one at work if you will be EBF for a year. Also keep a full set of spare parts in your desk drawer or a hand pump. You will forget your parts one day.
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022