I put most of our Christmas purchases on my own debit because my husband would lose his mind if he knew how much I spent. Β I donβt believe in keeping big financial secrets from each other, but I like to really make Christmas magical. Β
Last night when both kids decided to wake up in the middle of the night I faked feeling sick so H would get up and deal with it. I also told him changing dirty diapers makes me sick, but that was a lie, I just don't feel like changing them.Β
As much as I love DH's extended family, I really don't want a big to-do this Christmas. It means cleaning before, during and after and it is just too much. I want to curl up in bed with Netflix or books I never have the energy to read and eat mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing and broccoli with cheese sauce. Bah Humbug!
Last night I was up for like 2-ish hours in the night tossing and turning and I flailed around a little bit specifically so H would wake up and rub my back and also know in the morning that I had had a bad night. This led to tea and banana bread being delivered to me in bed this morning before he left for work (and I don't work on Fridays so bed may be where I stay until I have to pee too bad lol).
Last night I fell asleep on the couch at 630. My DH made tacos and I asked him to shut the kitchen doors while he was cooking because the smell sent me reeling. I woke up to it smelling just AWFUL and my DH was sitting on the couch next to me, playing on his phone with tacos on his plate. I yelled. I yelled too much for what it was, but then I spent an hour and a half in bed trying not to throw up. I just could not escape the smell. I also cried. My poor husband. I'm a mess.
@pocketrose Enjoy your day in bed! I'm jealous of tea and banana bread. I woke up at 5am and didn't feel any symptoms so I immediately took a cheapie HPT. I may be going insane.Β
I had a weird argument/debate with one of my coworkers last night (not the one I'm peeved at but one I like a lot, on the same peeved dy though). I haven't told anyone I'm pregnant at work yet but we were talking about kids (for reference, she has 2 biological children and likely wants more). I mentioned how I have a large desire to have 1 biological child and then after that TBD but also that the world is melting due to climate change and having a kid is unfortunately one of the worst things you can do.
She took it very personally (likely because another coworker also has the same view but I think has it in a more attack-y way) and then attacked the idea of adoption because it's buying a baby/we should have better systems to support folks who choose adoption because they feel like they have to/talked about this facebook group she's in with adopted people who all say they hate adoption and it's bad/etc. And like, I believe all of these examples and what she's said but also know perfectly happy adopted people. Also, I said to coworker that this was more my personal belief versus judgment of others/have as many kids as you like but my coworker is also super smart so I was a little astounded how, when I was like "but you acknowledge that it is true re:having a kid and climate change/carbon footprint" was not quite a climate change denier but refused to acknowledge (and granted, having a kid doesn't hold a candle to what corporations do re:world melting).
To be clear - if you're someone here on your 2nd/3rd/4th/5th kiddo and want more I say go for it/you do you, this is just something I personally feel for me/my family (and honestly I may one day have a second biological kid which I said to my coworker) but this was just a very weird coworker day. Also, we frequently have debate/deep/what other folks would say may be not work appropriate topics so this was definitely in the "par for the course" line of chatting for us.
I feel like I wasn't the asshole here but I also had had annoying conversations with other coworkers earlier in the day so maybe I was still reeling from that/was the asshole lol.
@meri-mac I hadn't felt any symptoms and then went to happy hour last night and ate half a thing of fries, a soft pretzel, a cheesesteak eggroll, and a hot chocolate. NOPE cannot do right now hello nausea. And @zande2016 he's a good egg, I'll keep him :-)
@modoodles I am so sorry, hun! That must have been awful.
@pocketrose DH and I decided on only one for climate change reasons as well. I initially wanted four because I grew up in a house with three brothers and it was awesome. I can say that now anyway I'm sorry your coworker was rude, but it has more to do with her than you. She interpreted your words as an attack probably since she has been attacked before. I hope everything goes back to normal at work and she realizes that it wasn't a judgement.
@meri-mac I think it will, I was just surprised since both she and I typically like a fervent debate where you can see both sides and I was like...wait, this is where you see my side lol.
@pocketrose That is a hard conversation to have with someone.Β My mom feels very similar to you--which is honestly why I am nervous to tell her about this baby (#3 for us).Β I very much believe in climate change and think we need to be doing WAYYYYY more.Β I honestly think you probably just struck a nerve with her and she took it super personally.Β I would just avoid the topic with that person in the future. It really does show what a kind heart you have that you are still thinking about it.Β I hope you guys move past it quickly!Β
@magnolia305 I'm sure we will, this coworker is not one to hold a grudge/we're friends beyond work. And congrats/hopefully your mom will realize that it's your choice and not hers and just be happy for you!
Can I preemptively confess to something I haven't done but likely will do and that's start season 3 of Marvelous Mrs. Maisel without H?Β
@pocketrose you're living my dream right now! I am so looking forward to staying in bed all day tomorrow. Your DH is a rock star too- back runs in the MOTN and breakfast in bed? Someone send my DH this conversation π
@pocketrose my H texted me all excited yesterday to tell me Maisel is back. He was out late last night and after the kids went to bed I sat down on the couch, turned Amazon Prime on, found the show, and sat there for like 10 minutes staring at it and debating watching it without him. In the end I decided to watch Criminal Minds instead but it took a lot of will power.Β
My daughter is usually home with me today. I had her go to the sitterβs so I can lay in bed all day. I feel guilty that I pawned her off, but she will have more fun there playing with her friends than with me on the couch all day.Β
@pocketrose I think about the environment all the time, and it was a big struggle for me to realize that wanting a third kid was more of a priority for me, because it doesnβt line up with my values otherwise. I do have a friend who basically thinks nobody should have more than one kid, and so I intentionally warned her we were thinking about a third... and she immediately went in on why I should rethink it, and by the end of the conversation she said I had her blessing to have a third because of my intent, other work I do to offset the impact, etc. and I was soooo ragey about it. I was just telling her to let her get used to the idea, not because she has any input whatsoever on my family planning.
I do struggle with it a bit though, and often trying to think of ways to help with this. In my other BMB I started a (very inconsistent) thread on sustainability to talk about what we as moms can do to think/act more environmentally friendly. If people were down for that here, I would certainly enjoy it.Β
I'm getting a private ultrasound this afternoon.Β Some of you read earlier in the week about the saga of my Ob/Gyn cancelling today's appointment.Β They eventually rescheduled me to 12/16 and did labs.Β However, I weighed my peace of mind vs. cost and decided I'm doing it.Β
I was hoping for a βWhat Made Me Cryβ thread this week, but I figure it coincides with FFFC, so here we go ....
1. I watched both Lizzoβs and Taylor Swiftβs VMA performances, followed by Selena Gomezβs AMA performance, followed by Lizzoβs NPR Tiny Desk concert. I cried. I was feeling all kinds of power and pride because women are speaking their truths and performing it for the masses. Then I cried because I felt bad that my younger self didnβt have that growing up. Then I cried because my DDs will have those examples as they grow up.
2. I cried while explaining the lyrics of βDo they know itβs Christmasβ to my kids.
3. I cried watching an episode of Fancy Nancy. Nancy have her Christmas present (a bike she obsessed over) to a new friend in need. She did so and didnβt even want the friend to know it was from her. Also, this is not my first time seeing this episode, but it is my first time crying about it.
Iβm sitting on the couch and my son and I had ramen noodles for lunch- the cheap kind in the orange packet. Β They were delicious. Β I regret nothing... except that my house is a mess but I just canβt right now. Β
@blaf322 Yes. I could create a new thread. But I still feel too new to the group, so I feel a little out of place opening a new thread/new topic. Newbie jitters over here. It feels a little like βHi! You donβt really know me, but Iβd like you all to discuss ____.βΒ
@misskdreams lol sounds like the story of my pregnant life. βHi, you donβt know me, but thatβs not going to stop me from telling you why Iβm crying / what Iβm craving / generally complaining about everything!β
@misskdreams I guess I get that. If you've intro'd, read through the board organization thread and still feel like a new thread would be valuable, I say go for it! Or, if you're unsure, you can always ask the group what they think in randoms
I'm more like @Pascal86.... "hi! I'm pregnant too! Wanna be friends?" Β
@MrsTiger123 I love that cheap orange packet Ramen. Soooo good!
My FFFC: I'm sort of judging my SIL for her lack of enthusiasm in our text exchange where I was asking her for Christmas gift ideas for her kids. It was a short exchange (only 6 texts total), but in those messages, I used 7 exclamation points, two periods, and one question mark while she used zero exclamation points and 6 periods. LISTEN, LADY. I AM BUYING YOUR CHILDREN GIFTS CAN YOU PLEASE AT LEAST ACT A LITTLE EXCITED? ALSO WHERE IS YOUR CHRISTMAS CHEER?!
Basically, I feel like Elf and she feels like Scrooge now.
@stlbuckeye132 you sound like an over exclamation point user (also guilty, so no judgement lol)... but I always feel awkward when people tell me they got stuff or are getting stuff for DD. My friend mentioned she got something for the baby mid-text and in between other things we were talking about so I just ignored it b/c I'm awkward and don't know how to respond haha
Also, the number of times she's said she got something for us or someone in the family and then we never see it greatly outweighs the number of times those gifts have actually shown up lol
@MrsTiger123 you have reminded me I need to restock my ramen stash. I basically lived on it first trimester with my daughter, and a week or so ago I found one left in the back of the kitchen cabinet and made it and it was amazing. But now I'm ramen-less.
@pocketrose I think it's cool that you have these convos with your coworkers/friends. My current job and my last job I worked at places where my coworkers were also people I considered friends, and loved that we could get into some pretty deep stuff sometimes lol. I agree with others, sounds like your coworker reacted really personally (which is understandable, I'm sure we've all been there). But people are always going to have different opinions about family planning/number of kids and everyone just has to own their choices!
@blaf322 no doubt I was overly excited and using all of the exclamation points. But it was basically like, "Hey (insert name here)! I was just wondering what your kids want for Christmas? Also, I hope (insert name) is feeling better!" (Her daughter had bronchitis so that's what I was referring to.) Her response, "She's doing better. Thanks for asking. I'll have to think about gift ideas." Next day... "Gift Ideas. X, Y, and Z. Or clothes." "Thanks!"
Idk, it just felt weird. But she's also married to the man who announced his daughter's birth in a text that said, and I quote, "(Insert name) was born this morning. She's doing well."
My DH is feeling nauseous tonight. Surprisingly, I'm not. I told him to sleep in the bed because I really do want to sleep on our comfy couch tonight π
My daughter (14yo) is a high school wrestling cheerleader and their meet it a couple of hours away tonight. She won't be home until midnight. π¬ We live across the street from the school, but I really hope I wake up when she gets back. I don't like her walking alone, especially in the dark and so late. Last time she didnt even bother texting me because she said, "it's not that far, I didn't want to wake you up." Not. The. Point.Β
Re: FFFC
I had a weird argument/debate with one of my coworkers last night (not the one I'm peeved at but one I like a lot, on the same peeved dy though). I haven't told anyone I'm pregnant at work yet but we were talking about kids (for reference, she has 2 biological children and likely wants more). I mentioned how I have a large desire to have 1 biological child and then after that TBD but also that the world is melting due to climate change and having a kid is unfortunately one of the worst things you can do.
She took it very personally (likely because another coworker also has the same view but I think has it in a more attack-y way) and then attacked the idea of adoption because it's buying a baby/we should have better systems to support folks who choose adoption because they feel like they have to/talked about this facebook group she's in with adopted people who all say they hate adoption and it's bad/etc. And like, I believe all of these examples and what she's said but also know perfectly happy adopted people. Also, I said to coworker that this was more my personal belief versus judgment of others/have as many kids as you like but my coworker is also super smart so I was a little astounded how, when I was like "but you acknowledge that it is true re:having a kid and climate change/carbon footprint" was not quite a climate change denier but refused to acknowledge (and granted, having a kid doesn't hold a candle to what corporations do re:world melting).
To be clear - if you're someone here on your 2nd/3rd/4th/5th kiddo and want more I say go for it/you do you, this is just something I personally feel for me/my family (and honestly I may one day have a second biological kid which I said to my coworker) but this was just a very weird coworker day. Also, we frequently have debate/deep/what other folks would say may be not work appropriate topics so this was definitely in the "par for the course" line of chatting for us.
I feel like I wasn't the asshole here but I also had had annoying conversations with other coworkers earlier in the day so maybe I was still reeling from that/was the asshole lol.
@pocketrose DH and I decided on only one for climate change reasons as well. I initially wanted four because I grew up in a house with three brothers and it was awesome. I can say that now anyway
Can I preemptively confess to something I haven't done but likely will do and that's start season 3 of Marvelous Mrs. Maisel without H?Β
I do struggle with it a bit though, and often trying to think of ways to help with this. In my other BMB I started a (very inconsistent) thread on sustainability to talk about what we as moms can do to think/act more environmentally friendly. If people were down for that here, I would certainly enjoy it.Β
1. I watched both Lizzoβs and Taylor Swiftβs VMA performances, followed by Selena Gomezβs AMA performance, followed by Lizzoβs NPR Tiny Desk concert. I cried. I was feeling all kinds of power and pride because women are speaking their truths and performing it for the masses. Then I cried because I felt bad that my younger self didnβt have that growing up. Then I cried because my DDs will have those examples as they grow up.
2. I cried while explaining the lyrics of βDo they know itβs Christmasβ to my kids.
3. I cried watching an episode of Fancy Nancy. Nancy have her Christmas present (a bike she obsessed over) to a new friend in need. She did so and didnβt even want the friend to know it was from her. Also, this is not my first time seeing this episode, but it is my first time crying about it.
I'm more like @Pascal86.... "hi! I'm pregnant too! Wanna be friends?"
My FFFC: I'm sort of judging my SIL for her lack of enthusiasm in our text exchange where I was asking her for Christmas gift ideas for her kids. It was a short exchange (only 6 texts total), but in those messages, I used 7 exclamation points, two periods, and one question mark while she used zero exclamation points and 6 periods. LISTEN, LADY. I AM BUYING YOUR CHILDREN GIFTS CAN YOU PLEASE AT LEAST ACT A LITTLE EXCITED? ALSO WHERE IS YOUR CHRISTMAS CHEER?!
Basically, I feel like Elf and she feels like Scrooge now.
Also, the number of times she's said she got something for us or someone in the family and then we never see it greatly outweighs the number of times those gifts have actually shown up lol
@pocketrose I think it's cool that you have these convos with your coworkers/friends. My current job and my last job I worked at places where my coworkers were also people I considered friends, and loved that we could get into some pretty deep stuff sometimes lol. I agree with others, sounds like your coworker reacted really personally (which is understandable, I'm sure we've all been there). But people are always going to have different opinions about family planning/number of kids and everyone just has to own their choices!
Idk, it just felt weird. But she's also married to the man who announced his daughter's birth in a text that said, and I quote, "(Insert name) was born this morning. She's doing well."
Would a little excitement kill you people?!
@rachelredhead love that shirt!
My daughter (14yo) is a high school wrestling cheerleader and their meet it a couple of hours away tonight. She won't be home until midnight. π¬ We live across the street from the school, but I really hope I wake up when she gets back. I don't like her walking alone, especially in the dark and so late. Last time she didnt even bother texting me because she said, "it's not that far, I didn't want to wake you up." Not. The. Point.Β